I Remember Love 28 I Won't Let Go Until You Do.

Sliding her feet to the ground she rose from the bed mechanically. The only way to avoid the pain was to be numb. Somewhere throughout the night she had shut down down. Her emotions and thoughts had shut off entirely. Now she was just a sh.e.l.l on the verge of breaking.

Stumbling her way into the shower she washed off her makeup from the day before. She let the water wash away her disguise wis.h.i.+ng it would take away her insecurities and regrets along with it. Moments later, having called the school, she dried her hair, dressed and went to check on her grandfather.

The girl who appeared before the hospital staff was a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn from the one they had seen yesterday. Yesterday she had been in shock, struggling, and hadn't even bothered to clean herself up. Today, she was your average fragile looking teenage girl. Seeing the dark circles around her eyes which had become swollen from crying the nurses there couldn't help but feel for her.

Amalia just barely heard their mumbled sympathies. Nothing was registering in her mind. She was in a fog. The only thing that mattered now was her grandfather, her last surviving relative.

Entering his room, her heart broke as she looked at the man on the bed. He was drawn, pallid and looked like he would slip away from her hands at any moment. The feelings she had been suppressing since the previous night came charging back with a fury, piling up in her heart and mind until she couldn't breathe.

She choked back a sob, biting her lip until it bled, as she made her way to the bed. Sitting at his side, she took his hand in hers and held it to her cheek.

"Gr-Grandpa..You can't go..Not yet.." She whispered, her voice hoa.r.s.e with restrained tears which hovered dangerously near the surface. "We..we have so much to talk about. I haven't..I haven't.." Amalia bit her lip harder, unable to complete the thought. There was still so much she needed to thank him for. He had been the only one who hadn't turned on her when her father pa.s.sed. The only family she had outside the existence of her father. What would she do without him?

She had sat silently beside his bed. Cradling his hand against her cheek, she wished had the courage to say the things she needed. She hated herself for not being able to keep her sh*t together. She used to take pride in her strength. Nothing could take her down. Where was that strength she had fought so hard for now? Since when had she become this ...weak?

Closing her eyes, she clung to her grandfather's hand. Amalia swallowed back the tears she couldn't afford to cry. Then, saying one last prayer, she dozed off at his bedside, never once letting go of his hand.

**************

Going against his better judgement, Hunter had gone directly to Amalia's house first thing in the morning. Upon discovering she wasn't home, he knew there was only one other place she could be and swiftly made his way to the hospital.

Upon arrival, the scene he saw there in the room would have been enough to melt even the coldest person's heart. There. before him the punk sat. Her head was pillowed on her arm, Her hands which clung to grandfather's hand were pressed firmly against her cheek. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her usual spiky black hair was now tamed. Any trace of Luke had been thoroughly discarded.

Hunter blinked. It was so hard, at this moment, to reconcile this girl with the wild and unruly creature whom had frequently torn up his clubhouse. How much had she had gone through to be able to go to such extremes, he wondered. At the headquarters, she had been cunning and ruthless. Here in the hospital she was broken, vulnerable and barely holding her head above water.

His mind went back to the day she had revealed her ident.i.ty to him. She hadn't gone into too much detail. In fact the indifference she struggled to display when relating to him her father's death had even almost fooled him. It was only now he that realized just how much of herself she had been hiding. How much had she had to sacrifice to get to this place? It was no wonder she showed no pity for others, how could she when she couldn't even pity herself?

Hunter walked over to this girl, who was suddenly a stranger to him, feeling at a loss. He wanted to comfort her but she wouldn't allow it. He wanted to hold her, but he knew she would fight it. For the life of of him, he couldn't figure out what to do to break this sh.e.l.l of hers. It was obvious she was barely holding on about to spin out of control.

Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. He would much rather face her fury than watch her self destruct. He couldn't just walk up to her and pull him into his embrace though. That would be far too awkward. This was far too difficult. She was only a teenage girl, why did it have to be so complicated? He wondered.

It was amidst his hesitation that Amalia woke up. Her dull eyes went wide seeing Hunter, of all people, there in the room with her. What. The. b.l.o.o.d.y. f.u.c.k. Was. Going. On? Her eyes narrowed dangerously, she was far too tired for this. The fragility that she had only moments before been wearing on her face was immediately exchanged for a look of intolerance.

"Why are you here?" She asked. The question was more of an accusation.

Hunter had to admit, this girl had grit. Even in the face of this much pain she wouldn't allow anyone to see her as weak. He sighed. Crossing his arms he started her down.

"My new lieutenant has been absent from the club for at least 2 days. So I'm not sure whether you expected I wouldn't notice, or that I wouldn't care. Which is it?"

He had decided the best way to deal with her temper was to throw it back her. As he watched her expression change from anger to exhaustion and then back to anger, he felt his heart ache. Rubbing his temples he continued.

"Look, the Soldiers ..we aren't completely heartless..you could have told ..someone" He mumbled.

Amalia was listening and just scoffed. It was obvious to her that the someone she should have told was him. It wasn't like she could tell Charlie. It wasn't even like they were speaking. Just the thought of Charlie, on top of all her pent of regret and grief, was enough to force tears to her eyes once more.

"I..I don't need ..I don't" She began, catching herself, she hesistated. Was she really about to tell this man who clearly saw through her she didn't need anyone? Taking a breath she began again. "It isn't any of the club's concern.." She mumbled back. The words were almost a pout.

Hunter didn't know whether he should laugh at her or just hold her. He had long since given upon trying to understand this feeling. Walking forward a little he drug her from her pulling her into his embrace. His arms held her tight as he braced for the storm he knew was coming.

Amalia was so shocked by his actions she almost stumbled as he pulled her forward. Feeling his arms wrap securely around her she began to hit his chest with all her might. Hunter sucked in a breath as she pummeled him. She had been training around the clock, and it showed. With every hit she landed he was forced to grit his teeth.

In response to her violence he held her even tighter, while inclining his lips to her ear.

"Look, there is no one here but you and I. It's just the two of us, and the hospital staff. Its okay Lu- 'Lia. You can let go. I won't let you fall."

Amalia blinked back at her tears hearing his words. He could feel her shoulders tremble as she continued to fight back the sobs which were building up in her chest. She was drowning and here was this man, she barely knew, offering to be a life raft. Her fingers curled into the leather of his jacket gripping it tightly with trembling hands.

"It's okay. It's just us. What happens here, will not leave this room. You have my word." he continued to cajole her as he lifted his hand pet the back of her head, pulling her closer. "Let it out, I'm not letting go until you do." The last was a warning.

As the leader, he had to ensure the stability of his soldiers. As a man, he couldn't let her shoulder this by herself.

As it turned out, the last warning wasn't needed. The moment he had sworn to secrecy, her resolve crumbled. She hadn't even had a chance to prepare. The sob that broke forth was enough to tear her throat. Once it did, the tears just seemed to fall of their own will, one after another without end. Her shoulders shook violently as Hunter held her, cradling her head to his shoulder as his body shook with fury.

The extent this girl had gone to to keep such rigid control of herself and her feelings was baffling. It angered him. He remembered the look in her eyes as she mentioned the men who had taken her father from her. In that moment, he vowed he would find them and seek her vengeance for her. Not just for taking her father from her, but taking her innocence as well. For all of it, he would make them pay a thousand fold.