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Chapter 45: Chapter 45.
Chapter 45.
s.h.i.+n Kim could smell a faint pine tree scent on Woojin’s neck. s.h.i.+n asked, “a.s.sistant Manager Choi, why are you here?”
Woojin was still in his arms and when s.h.i.+n touched Woojin’s coat; it felt very cold. s.h.i.+n quickly pressed the pa.s.scode and opened the entrance to his condo. s.h.i.+n said in frustration, “Just how long have you been waiting here?”
Angrily, s.h.i.+n pulled Woojin into the building. He ma.s.saged Woojin’s hands, but they seemed to remain cold. s.h.i.+n blew warm air onto Woojin’s hands. When Woojin giggled because he felt ticklish, s.h.i.+n replied in annoyance, “How can you laugh in this situation? What if you catch a cold?”
The elevator arrived and s.h.i.+n pulled Woojin into his arms again as they entered. Thankfully, the elevator and hallway were empty. Woojin looked up at s.h.i.+n before leaning against him. s.h.i.+n said quietly, “You are acting a bit differently.”
“…”
“Hmm… Strange.”
s.h.i.+n smiled and pushed back Woojin’s hair. Woojin leaned onto s.h.i.+n’s hand like a cat. Woojin seemed to be unusually affectionate today, so s.h.i.+n looked at him closely with his eyes narrowed. Woojin’s cheeks seemed a bit red.
s.h.i.+n asked, “Did… you drink tonight?”
“…”
“Please answer.”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes. A lot. Lots.”
Woojin smiled adorably, and s.h.i.+n stared in surprise. The elevator door opened to his floor, but s.h.i.+n didn’t even notice. They drank together before, but Woojin didn’t act this way the last time. He looked so… cute that s.h.i.+n couldn’t help but smile as well.
When s.h.i.+n remained bemused, it was Woojin who pulled him out of the elevator.
“Let’s get out.”
s.h.i.+n’s heart pounded wildly. He hadn’t realized it before, but apparently, s.h.i.+n was the type that would fall head over heels in love.
If he was with the right person, of course.
s.h.i.+n had dated plenty before, but he guessed that this must be what real love felt like. s.h.i.+n pressed the pa.s.scode quickly to his condo and opened the door.
The bright orange light from the entrance shone on them.
Woojin frowned and complained, “That light hurts my eyes.”
s.h.i.+n looked down at him again. Until now, it had been very difficult to tell what Woojin was thinking or feeling. But Woojin’s face looked different tonight. It was clear to see his feelings. Right now, he looked annoyed by the bright light. Even his annoyed look was s.e.xy.
s.h.i.+n murmured for Woojin to take his shoes off. Woojin smiled widely and nodded.
He was too cute.
s.h.i.+n asked, “Just how much did you drink?”
“I thought I told you… I drank a lot.”
s.h.i.+n took his coat off and turned to look at Woojin again.
“a.s.sistant Manager Woojin, are you laughing again?”
“Maybe.”
“… You are driving me nuts.”
s.h.i.+n hung up his coat and handed Woojin, who was taking his jacket off as well, a coat hanger. s.h.i.+n hung Woojin’s coat as well and pulled him closer into a hug. s.h.i.+n whispered, “I wonder why you drank so much.”
“…”
“Did something upsetting happen?”
“…”
Woojin shook his head. He just buried his head on s.h.i.+n’s chest and breathed in deeply. Woojin’s body was still cold, but his breath was hot as he exhaled onto s.h.i.+n’s chest.
Early on, s.h.i.+n learned that Woojin had very shallow breaths. When s.h.i.+n first saw Woojin sleep, he was afraid Woojin wasn’t breathing. He almost thought he should put his finger underneath Woojin’s nose to check if he was breathing.
Woojin suddenly left s.h.i.+n’s arms and walked to the living room. He saw down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He patted the seat next to him expectantly.
Without a word, s.h.i.+n walked to the living room as well and sat next to him. Woojin finally opened his eyes and held s.h.i.+n’s hand.
Woojin’s cold hands and s.h.i.+n’s warm hands…
Woojin finally replied to s.h.i.+n, “Because I always am upset.”
“…”
“I’m upset all the time that I don’t think I know what upset means anymore.”
In a breathy voice, Woojin continued, “s.h.i.+n…”
“…”
“I was so worried that you wouldn’t date me. But you agreed to it…”
It looked like there was a small smile on Woojin’s face as he continued, “Thank you for being with me.”
s.h.i.+n held Woojin’s chin gently, afraid he might hurt him.
s.h.i.+n replied, “It should be me who should thank you for asking me out.”
s.h.i.+n smiled lightly, but then frowned as he added, “But you shouldn’t drink so much with another man.”
“…”
“I get jealous.”
“YOU get jealous, s.h.i.+n?”
“Always.”
“Me… too…”
s.h.i.+n looked at Woojin in surprise. Why would Woojin get jealous? About what?
s.h.i.+n asked, “Why are you jealous?”
“You are too nice.”
“What?”
“You are always with Chief Seulgi Kim…”
“Huh?”
“With Miss Yeonwoo Ji too…”
“…”
“And also that guy you were with tonight…”
Suddenly, s.h.i.+n covered Woojin’s lips with his hand. Woojin’s eyes widened and embarra.s.sedly, s.h.i.+n looked away and replied, “You need to stop.”
“Are you angry?”
“…”
“Was I being unreasonable?”
“No… I just felt like I would die of embarra.s.sment if I continue to hear this.”
s.h.i.+n hid his neck, fearing that it had turned red.
Just how adorable could Woojin be? s.h.i.+n remembered Siwoo telling him that being pretty or handsome didn’t last forever, but being cute… That was a different story. At the time, s.h.i.+n couldn’t understand him, but now he did.
s.h.i.+n continued, “I won’t tell you not to drink again, but you need to promise me you will show this cute side to only me.” s.h.i.+n tucked Woojin’s hair back and asked, “So tell me. Why are you always so upset?”
“…”
“You are drunk, so you might as well tell me.”
Woojin’s eyes deepened.
Liking someone could happen quite suddenly, but losing your heart to someone… It happened slowly, like a drop of ink spreading throughout the ocean.
For some reason, being with Woojin reminded s.h.i.+n of when he took his first swim lesson. The water engulfing him, hugging him, slowly… The initial drop followed by the feeling of floating… The excitement of it all…
Woojin finally opened his mouth to answer, “I have always been upset.”
“…”
“My father was rarely home, and my mother was too in love with him.”
“… I see.”
“She loved him very much, but I don’t think my mother loved me.”
Woojin’s voice sounded indifferent, but his lips looked rigid. Seeing his dry eyes, s.h.i.+n felt unhappy. Woojin continued, “But you know what? I was never interested in being loved, but now I know what it feels like, and it’s nice.”
“…”
“Maybe it doesn’t mean much to you, but…”
Woojin looked up at him and blinked a few times, s.h.i.+n rubbed Woojin’s cheeks and hugged him tightly. Woojin’s hot yet cold breaths touched s.h.i.+n’s shoulders, chest, and arms.
s.h.i.+n replied, “You can complain to me all you want. Tell me anything you want to unload.”
“…”
“You can cry too if you want.”
s.h.i.+n patted Woojin’s head as he remembered a conversation with Siwoo from a long time ago.
Siwoo asked, “You don’t have people around you that put up emotional barriers, do you?”
“… Barriers?”
“You know, those people who don’t like to socialize.”
“Nope. Of course not. They are very hard to deal with.”
“Do you know why they are so hard?”
“…”
“When those people lose their walls, it doesn’t happen slowly. It happens very suddenly, all at once, and when that happens, you need to be responsible for them.”
“…”
“That’s why they are hard and scary.”
“…”
“And you know what, s.h.i.+n? You are one of those people, you idiot!”
Remembering the conversation, s.h.i.+n tightened his embrace around Woojin. Even from the beginning, he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be easy to let Woojin go. And now, he knew for certain that his guess was correct.
s.h.i.+n could no longer let Woojin go. He also couldn’t leave Woojin alone. This sticky achy feeling… It filled s.h.i.+n’s heart.