INSPIRATIONAL MUSINGS 41 The Scars You Are Permitted To Carry Around In Your Heart Are Those Of Victory

— Matshona Dhliwayo

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Bitterness is an emotional scar, and the saddest thing about bitterness as a scar is it feels like a wound that hasn't healed, the scar continues to remind who goes around with

it the event that caused the wound in the first place.

Many things bring about emotional scars, many paedophiles and rapists when apprehended after they must have ruined many lives tend to share horrid tales of the past on how they were molested as kids by their parents or guardians, some were s.e.xually abused in boarding schools by seniors or mates, some were molested by neighbours or uncles amongst others. They just never recovered from the trauma they experienced, they kept these emotions in them for years, and they never forgave their molester or a.s.saulter as the case maybe.

In the process they get to develop this kind of resentment for the society for allowing such a thing to happen to them, since they probably never got justice in the first place, the resentment transformed to deep hatred, all of sudden they realised they wanted their own pound of flesh back, before anyone knows what is going on they begin to do unto others the same thing they were forced to do by their molesters. They make victims of people who never knew their pain. They seek vengeance on innocent souls, guiltless people who knew nothing about their traumatic past. The story of a rapist is just one amongst many other stories out there and it's just a simple ill.u.s.tration of what emotional scars we carry around can metamorphose into if we don't do everything to let go of them.

Another example is a wife beater, many confessed they got the habit from their dads, or someone in a similar role. People with habits of this type hated their dads for what he did to their mums, because they probably watched in horror how their dad pummelled their mum into submission, they watched how a woman they love was in so much pain and unfortunately they couldn't do anything to help, so they vowed to be a better husband to their own spouse, but somehow they found themselves doing the same thing their father did to their mum, the same thing they promised never to do to their wives, most often than not they wonder how come they are exhibiting the same traits they abhorred so much. It is because they refused to forgive their dad, they carried the bitterness within around so much that it became their own experience as well. When you go around with emotional scars, itwillshockyoutofindoutthatthesamefeelings you despise so much but you fail to purge yourself of, will become your personal experience sooner or later.

Many people go around with emotional scars like bitterness, hate, unforgiveness, resentment and vengeful thoughts. Victims of traumatic experiences like kidnapping, ****, armed robbery,

domestic violence, solitary confinement, loss of loved ones, human traffiācking, war etc. are troubled from within with several thoughts, they carry wounds that need to heal as quickly as possible, but it isn't that easy, it requires a lot of time for them to heal completely, because it is tough for anyone to experience any of the aforementioned things and recover in a short s.p.a.ce of time. Even after a so called healing process, these experiences tend to leave one with a scar, a wide gash within that requires more than time to take away, because whenever there's a flash back, then the emotions will take over them, just like how you feel when you see a scar which is as a result of a wound suffered from a ghastly motor accident that made one spend some time at the hospital. Now imagine an emotional scar that exists in one's thoughts continually. It is just so tough to overcome such thoughts except one undertakes a spiritual journey to completely come out of the depth of an emotional abyss.

Traumatic experiences are the wounds but they leave emotional scars that take time to disappear if they ever disappear at all, but there are scars that supersede emotional scars and they are scars of VICTORY, emotional scars will not go away until they are converted to scars of VICTORY.

Traumas are losses caused because pleasant feelings have been lost. Traumas rob victims of every self-worth or dignity, they take forcefully or unexpectedly whatever one sees as self-pride, and so they cause a loss initially, but after a while when healing is taking place, it becomes a battle between the past, present and the future. The past being the act that caused the wound, the present being the emotional scar a victim carries around, then the future is the victory over the emotions that continue to hold a victim down, the only way to overcome the battle completely is to emerge victorious at the end of the day.

What Are Scarsof Victory?

The warriors of old used to brag about the scars they carry about from healed wounds they got from the wars they won. Scars of victory are the type you appreciate because they symbolise strength but not weakness, unlike emotional scars that serve as constant reminders of losses and pains, scars of victory remind one of victory and conquest, they bring about sweet memories, they are carried around with pride and dignity.

A good example of someone who converted an emotional scar to ascar of victory is Oprah Winfrey the popular American TV talk show queen, she was molested as a child, got pregnant at the age of 14, but the child died at infancy, despite these initial traumatic experiences that would ordinarily have left deep emotional scars she converted them to scars of victory to emerge as the richest African American in history.

The same can be said of Dr Cosmas Maduka, the CEO of Coscharis Group of Companies in Nigeria. He lost his dad at the tender age of 4, He was withdrawn from school at the age of 7, and he hawked on the streets to a.s.sist his mother in picking bills at home, how traumatic it would have been for a little boy at such a tender age to not only lose his dad but had to face extreme poverty to fend for his family, he eventually ended up in Lagos State Nigeria where he learnt how to survive and in the process became a billionaire with a diversified portfolio of businesses, he did the same thing as Oprah Winfrey, he converted emotional scars to scars of victory, what helped him according to the story he repeatedly told the world is his closeness to G.o.d, in fact he was fired from his first job for attending a church program instead of beingatwork.

The only difficult thing is the process of turning emotional scars to scars of victory. It's a tough process that requires a lot of forgiveness, that's why spiritual therapy is recommended, you must first forgive whoever or whatever caused the wound in the first place, then you have to forgive yourself in case you blame yourself in any way for allowing what happened to you happen in the first place.

You have to completely let go so you can have a feeling of victory over whatever you must have gone through in the first place, this is the way to emerge victorious eventually, never relent till you think of the scar you carry as one of VICTORY, the one that changed your story forever.