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make you sad or make you feel worse than you are
presently. It is a statement of fact. Irrespective of how you Tfeel about it, the truth must be told; YOU INDEED DESERVE WHAT YOU GOT.
You got a third-cla.s.s result because you deserve a third-cla.s.s
result, or better put, you worked for a third-cla.s.s result. In all
labour, there is profit, so says the Holy Book. If your labour was
worth a first-cla.s.s result, you would have gotten one. Accept the
fact, it is needless to fight it now; what you laboured for was what
you got.
A number of reasons may be responsible for this. You may
indeed have all the excuses tenable in the world and acceptable
to the heavens why you got a third-cla.s.s result. It does not still
change the fact that you have graduated with a third cla.s.s, and
that you deserve it.
Some of the reasons may be that –
- A particular lecturer did not like your face on campus, and so
influenced your results negatively.
- You were sick during the final exams and so could not
concentrate fully in the examination hall.
- You did not have enough funds like some of your cla.s.smates
to bribe the corrupt lecturers on your campus and so could
not get the additional marks that some of your mates bought.
- You could not afford to buy the necessary study materials,
you only had to manage your cla.s.s-notes and the limited
materials you had access to, and this affected your
performance in the examination hall.
- You had some serious challenges from the home front which
debarred you from giving your academics all it needed.
- Examination questions came from chapters you did not
consider important enough to read. To your detriment, the
examiner intentionally decided not to set questions from the
part of your note that you have read inside out.
- The Examination Invigilators were too strict. They did not
allow you to execute your carefully laid out plans in the
examination hall. No talking, no shaking, no exchange of
scripts, no looking sideways, no moving around, ... ... .... the
rules were just too much.
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- This year's Examination Marking Scheme was too tough. It
was worse than last year's. If you were a.s.sessed based on the
previous year's scheme, you would have fared better.
- The Examiners were not lenient with questions. The
questions were not only too much but also too tough. There
was no way anyone could have answered them all in the
given time.
- Your heartthrob broke your heart just before the
examination, and this was a serious distraction to your
preparation for the examination.
- You had a weighty spiritual problem that needed urgent
attention but you could not spare out time to address this
before the examination started.
- Your background affected you. Your parents never
appreciated education. They do not even know the
difference between a first cla.s.s and a third cla.s.s since they
did not attend a higher inst.i.tution themselves. Therefore,
they could not encourage you enough.
- You had other important things doing that took much of your
time. You were a sportsman on campus. You were into
campus politics. You were doing serious money-making
business on campus. You were too involved in religious
activities in school. etc.
- Your parents were not fully supportive. There was nothing
you ever requested from them that they gave to you when
you needed it.
- You had a serious financial crisis during the examination.
- You were not cut out for school. You were forced into it. You
would have done something more important with your time
if allowed.
- Luck was against you.
All of these excuses are irrelevant and not needed again. Excuses
are self made imprisonment. Do not imprison yourself with one.
What matters now is to face the truth squarely - you have failed in
school; and you failed because you deserved to fail.
Left to you, you really think you tried your best!
- You did all of your a.s.signments and submitted them at the
required time.
- You did all the experiments you were supposed to do in the
laboratory and wrote your report on time.
- You attended all of the lectures and practical sessions
required of you.
- You read all of your notes for the tests and prepared well
ahead for the exams.
- You even attended tutorials organized by your cla.s.smates,
extrmoral cla.s.ses by the lecturers, and borrowed study
materials both from friends and from the school library.
You did your very best, and you expected a more brilliant result
than this. But the expected result never materialized. The reason
is simple; your best was not enough to sail you through the
torrent of the examination storms. You worked as hard as you
could, but things did not just go as planned.
You really think some of your cla.s.smates deserved to fail
because they did not put in as much effort as you did; but not
you. Your case was different; you tried your best. Sad to think,
those whom you think deserved to fail woefully ended up
performing far better than you did. They did not prepare well
enough, but they pa.s.sed. And you cannot still explain why, of
everyone in your cla.s.s, you should fail!
The truth is that you are the only one who thinks you have
offered your best; your lecturers think otherwise, the examiners
think otherwise, the invigilators think otherwise, the school
authority thinks otherwise.
Your opinion, no matter how hard you hold on to it, does not
count in the face of so many expert criticisms. So, they can only
be right, and you can only be wrong; you deserve what you got.
Admit your failure. Trying to pretend you got better grades will
not help you. It is self deception of the highest order. Tell
yourself that you have failed from the higher inst.i.tution because
you graduated with a third-cla.s.s degree. Say it to yourself a
thousand and one times until it sinks into your subconscious.
This will help you to face the reality and do what you really need
to do.
It will not make too much sense wasting your precious energy
trying to cover up the failure. It will not work. Face the facts;
admit your failure. Do not pretend to be what you are not.
Putting on a Superman's garment does not enable you to fly; it
only gives you an overblown a.s.sessment of yourself.
A wolf in a sheep's clothing is still a wolf. A third-cla.s.s graduate
pretending to be a first-cla.s.s graduate is still a third-cla.s.s
graduate, no matter how hard he pretends. Do not claim to be
what you are not; you have failed from school, and there is no use
denying the fact. It is even already too late to change the
situation; you are already a third-cla.s.s graduate. So the earlier
you get use to it, the better for you.
This is not to say you need to start broadcasting round the whole
school or your neighbourhood that you have failed again; there is
not much wisdom in this. Just be yourself and let things happen
whichever way life has planned it. Do not try to hide the fact or
overprotect it. Let nature take its natural course.
DO NOT EXPECT TO BE CELEBRATED
Since most people around you do not believe you deserve much
more than you got, do not expect them to sympathize with you as
much as you desire. They will not celebrate your failure simply
because you think you tried your best. This may, or rather, this
will, in most cases, never happen. Let not your expectation be too
high, people do not celebrate failures, no matter how close you
are to them, and irrespective of the excuse you have for the
failure!
No one will cheer you up for graduating with a third-cla.s.s grade.
If you expect to be cheered, you are expecting too much, and
your expectation will certainly be cut short. This is just natural.
People do not cheer up those who fail. Only the man who wins
gets the accolade.
None will celebrate you for failing:
- Not your parents, all the money they spent on you is now
wasted; at least, that is how it looks to them.
- Not your lecturers, you made them look as though they do
not know how to teach. You would have been their pride if
you have shown to the world that their student is a genius.
- Not your cla.s.smates who expected you to be smarter than
you proved to be. If anybody should fail, it should not be
you. They knew how they went about it and expect that you
also should know how to go about it if you know your ability
is not adequate.
- Also, not your younger ones, you did not set a good example
for them to follow, and they cannot boast of you in the midst
of their own friends.
- In fact, not your friends, they are highly disappointed in you.
They expected far much more.
- Definitely not your senior ones who will never understand
why you have to go for a third-cla.s.s grade when there are
better options, especially if you are the first in the family to
get that low.
Your parents may become mad at you. They may withhold some
rightful privileges from you. Take it in good faith. It would not
have been so if you had done better than this. That is their best
way of expressing their displeasure to you.
It will be rather unfair of you to expect them to rally round you in
jubilation of your third-cla.s.s grade as though it were a firstcla.s.s.
They are disappointed in you and they have a right to
express their opinion the best way they feel they can. They have
a right to their emotions.
So, do not try to pick quarrels with anyone who does not identify
with you in your woes. You will do worse if you were in their
shoes. This period is like a trying moment for you and you will
need to brace up to face the challenges.
You may even be unlucky enough to have around you people
who naturally rejoice greatly at the failure of others. There is
nothing you can do about them. You can only be yourself, learn
the best from where you are today, and pray for a better life
tomorrow to prove to them that you are indeed not what they
think you are, life was just playing a trick on you.
Since you deserve what you got, you need not blow your head off
because of what you got. It is too late to cry over spilled milk.
Lamenting alone will not help you at this moment. It will not take
you any further than where you are.
You may see others in your shoes grieving uncontrollably when
they remember the time, energy and resources they had wasted in
pursuing the academic degree. However, shedding tears, either
genuinely or in pretence (so as to gain others' sympathy) is not
the solution to the problem at hand. It will only help you waste
more time, energy and resources.
Contrary to what you think, the past few years you spent in
school is not wasted. The essence of going to school is not
necessarily to graduate with good grades alone, although this is
an essential part of it because of the community we live in.
If you view the essence of going to school from the perspective
of merely graduating with an excellent result alone, you will see
yourself as a failure. Going to school is much more than that.
What you learn from school is beyond the academic
qualifications alone. There are other benefits you get from going
to school. Some of these are:
1. You learn basic fundamentals of different teachings and
various skills.
2. It enables you to make more effective use of your mind.
3. You learn good communication skills.
4. You learn how to relate and live with other people who
have different beliefs and ideas.
5. Lastly, being a student helps you to be self-disciplined
and behave more maturely.
19
Living A First Cla.s.s Life
If you view going to school in this light, you will agree that the
past few years are not wasted years. You may not see the benefits
now, but they are like investments made into the future. When
the time comes, you will really appreciate G.o.d for letting you
have the experience of going to school. It will give you a serious
edge over others who have never been to school, open many
doors of opportunities to you, and give you a better placement in
life in whatever field you finally decide to settle down to.
BLAME NO ONE
The greatest temptation at this point is to begin to look for whom
to blame for your predicament. This is very common among
students facing the challenges you are presently confronted
with. When they perform well in an examination, they acclaim
the glory to themselves by saying 'I pa.s.sed the examination'.
However if they fail, they attribute the failure to the examiner,
'The lecturer failed me'.
Do not fall for it. Do not blame anyone else for your failure. The
problem is with you and until you discover it you will not move
forward. The lecturer did not fail you; you failed yourself,
irrespective of what your excuse is for failing. To justify
blaming your lecturers for your academic failure, you can as
well credit them for your success in the exams.
Every student who has ever failed has excuses for his failures.
These excuses are the boundary between them and their success.
Whatever excuse you have, you cannot be excused. You have
failed in school, and you need to look for what you need to do
early enough so as to do better in life. That is all that matters
now!
You cannot blame your lecturer; if you were the best student in
your cla.s.s you would have still pa.s.sed even if he hated you much
more. It is your weak points that your lecturer capitalized on in
order to fail you. No one can make a failure of you unless you
cooperate with him. You have cooperated with him by not
preparing adequately.
You cannot blame your failure on your background. There are
people with worse backgrounds but with better results. Your
progress in life is not determined by your background but by
what you do despite the background.
You cannot blame it on the lack of relevant study materials. If
you do not have enough funds to buy textbooks, you could have
borrowed copies from friends or from the school library.
And if you had other things doing that took your time, you could
have planned your time more properly.
You are indeed inexcusable. Every other factor notwithstanding,
you are responsible for your failure. The earlier you accept this
fact, the better for you.
However, although you have failed this once, you are not yet a
failure. Men are not regarded as failures until they admit it
themselves, and the first signal to show they have admitted
failure is that they start blaming someone else for their actions.
The moment you begin to look for who to blame for your failure,
you are already becoming one.
Irrespective of the cause of your failure, always remember that,
those who designed the failures of yesterday are not in control of
the success of tomorrow. So, sit up, take the blame, learn the
lesson, and make progress.
G.o.d IS NOT DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
Know this for sure; nothing catches G.o.d unawares. Whatever
happens, He knows about it. Sad as this may sound; G.o.d knew
afore-hand that you may not fare better than you did, and He is
prepared ahead of time to help you sail through it successfully.
He is not disappointed in you.
Your parents may not be too happy with your result, considering
how much they had spent to see you go through school
successfully. It may also not go down too well with your siblings
whose expectations had been cut shot. Your friends might be too
ashamed to still identify with you; but G.o.d is not disappointed in
you.
G.o.d looks at things in a different light than man does. This is
because man is easily impressed by the wrong things in life,
neglecting the things that matters.
G.o.d does not view people the way others see them. He sees them
in a different perspective. Man saw Moses as a murderer but
G.o.d saw in him a deliverer. Jacob was called a supplanter but
G.o.d saw a prince. Abraham was termed barren but G.o.d saw the
father of many nations. Rahab was a good-for-nothing prost.i.tute
but G.o.d saw in her the great grandmother of the Saviour.
Whatever they have said about you is their opinion. G.o.d's
opinion still stands.
Men may write you off, but G.o.d will not: It is not in His nature:
Adam and Eve failed G.o.d's maiden exam on obedience in the
Garden of Eden and could have easily been written off by G.o.d.
However, the whole Bible is a record of G.o.d's plan and effort to
reverse that failure; that is G.o.d for you. He looks beyond the
present into the future in order to correct the mistakes of the past.
Be sure that He is already working out something in your favour
too.
Nothing happens by chance to us; G.o.d has a pre-knowledge of
all that we will ever go through. He may not be responsible for
them though; the unpalatable circ.u.mstance may be as a result of
our negligence, nonchalance or carefree att.i.tude, but G.o.d can
still work around those circ.u.mstances so that His purpose will be
achieved through them.
It really does not matter what your grade is to G.o.d, first cla.s.s or
third cla.s.s. He loves you anyway. He does not use your degree in
school to determine His decree in your life. He is still interested
in you and what you become, irrespective of who is not! He is
interested in everything that concerns you. You are the apple of
His eye! He said your face is even tattooed on the palms of His
hand! So, He can neither neglect you nor forget about you.
Only G.o.d can eternally write off a man as a failure. But He has
not written you off yet. So, why believe what a mortal man like
you has said about you. Whatever any man says is his opinion,
and everyone has a right to his own opinion. Let it not overbother
you.
No one knows your destiny perfectly like G.o.d. Therefore let no
one fit you into another man's mold. No one was there when G.o.d
was commissioning you into the world. So, no one has a say over
your life. Only His word will stand in your life, if you are willing
to permit it.
BE FRIENDLY
You do not have to be moody everywhere you go. Many people
just focus on the problems they are pa.s.sing through, that they
miss the opportunity to meet the wonderful people and great
benefits they see everywhere they go which G.o.d has prepared to
lift them up from their present position to the next level.
Being unfriendly, they miss their savior; they miss the angel G.o.d
sent to them to help them from their predicament. Make friends
daily. Do not be ashamed to meet people because of your
academic qualifications. It is not in the qualification, it is in what
you have to offer.
Grab every opportunity to build fresh relations.h.i.+ps, especially
with those who desires to live a first cla.s.s life like yourself and
not just with anybody.
Do the little things that will attract others to you. Smile, you have
no cause to frown; failing in school does not mean failing in life.
Dress neatly, you are not mourning; only those who are
mourning wears sack cloth. Spray some perfume, it puts you in a
better mood; and you really need to be in a better mood for better
thoughts to flow through your mind.
Say h.e.l.lo first, make the effort to be friendly. You do not know
what G.o.d has in stock for you through the other person. He may
be the angel you have been praying for. The more you
concentrate on your academic result, the more insecure you will
become. To get the confidence you need, look beyond the
certificate.
The worst set of people to have around you now is the set that
criticize every one of your moves and remind you of your past
failure. Surround yourself with men who believe in you. This is
not the time to start forming a pity-party. What you need now is
more of people who believe in your ability. Anything else will
rub off your self-esteem and your faith in yourself. Always have
around you those who will encourage you, cheer you up,
celebrate your ideas and contribute to your progress. These will
make life more adventurous and rewarding for you.
FIGHT EVIL THOUGHTS
Guard your mind; let it not wander aimlessly in circles. Define
its boundary. Constantly resist and rebuke every thought that:
(1) Portrays unreasonable anxiety about tomorrow,
(2) Envy those who did better than you,
(3) Paints hopelessness about your present circ.u.mstance,
(4) Brings guilt about your past errors,
(5) Creates depression and fear of what the future holds,
(6) Produces bitterness towards those you feel are
responsible for your predicament.
Refuse to identify with all the lies the devil may want to feed you
with. Lies like,
* 'You are good for nothing';
* 'You have jeopardized your future';
* 'Nothing good can come your way again since you did not make
a first-cla.s.s';
* 'Your life is ruined';
* 'You are in a real mess '.
All these are lies from the pit of h.e.l.l. He only wants to take over
your mind, do not allow him. Purify your thought. Do not permit
any futile or foolish thought to take charge of you around this
time of your life.
If you allow these negative emotions to overwhelm you, your
life will experience more retrogression, and will finally be
brought to a halt sooner than you envisaged. Do not put yourself
under such bondage.
Such overly sensitive thoughts about the issue at hand will end
up creating a feeling of great insecurity which makes your
weaknesses become more p.r.o.nounced than your strength. Once
your weakness becomes more p.r.o.nounced than your strength,
your doom looms.
This is because whatever dominates your mind dictates your
actions. Whatever dictates your actions controls your life.
Whatever controls your life determines your final end. So, do not
listen to the thoughts that bring you fear, worry, and insecurity.
Those are not from G.o.d. Constant allowance of such thoughts
will erode your self-confidence.
This is neither the time to lose your head nor the time to lose your
faith in G.o.d. If all you do is get anxious and get worried, it will
demoralize you the more, and at this stage, that may be
detrimental to your health. You may even begin to contemplate
on engaging in some nasty actions like suicide attempt simply
because you are focusing on the wrong things.
Graduating with a third-cla.s.s is not the end of the world. Why
will you want to end your life because of that? It has not gotten to
that yet; there is still more to life than a degree from the higher
inst.i.tution. Thousands there are who did not even have the
opportunity to go to a higher inst.i.tution in the first place. What
then should those ones do? Do not let the devil take advantage of
a simple mistake you made on campus to destroy your glorious
future by ending your life untimely. Consciously labor to resist
such thoughts.
A wise man once said "you cannot stop birds from flying over
your heads, but you can stop them from perching on your head".
You may not be able to completely stop such thoughts from
crossing your mind once in a while, especially at a time like this,
but you can refuse to entertain them, resisting them with all
force.
Do not be deceived; the past or the immediate is not the ultimate.
What lies ahead is far greater than what has gone behind. Just be
prepared to fight it out.
Rather than think about what has happened in the past, think
about your future. Let your thought dwell more on where you are
going and what you will need to get there, and not where you are
coming from. That way, you will live a more rewarding life.
The Holy Bible encourages that we should take everyone of
such thoughts captive. You will find this instruction handy at a
time like this. Each time you are tempted to give in to them,
summon enough courage to resist them.
Only entertain thoughts that build up and not tear down. Fill your
heart afresh each day with words of encouragement. Fill up your
mind with thoughts, words, musicals, videos and images that
will build up your confidence again. Watch programs and read
books that will boost your self-image. All these and many more
will help put your life back on the right track.