The Dryad 29 Hard Feelings

It felt as if I had been plunged into a small stream coming of the mountains in the height of the spring thaw. I was cold everywhere, numb with the surprise of what I was hearing. I involuntarily let out a gasp. I did not want to face it. I needed to be strong and get Faun back and then everything would be fine.

I was lost in thought but I could still hear the two girls ask, "What do you mean?" "How do you know?"

Ivy took a deep breath. "Earlier today when Laurel and I went into the forest to practice... She had me search her spirit so she could teach me some things that could not be learned with words. I saw more than I think she meant me to. I am not sure she even would admit it to herself, but I could feel this black cloud inside her full of loneliness, frustration, doubt and fear."

Every word of Ivy's was another icy current hitting me pulling me further down. I tried shutting out my heart. I just needed to be stronger. This whole mess would all be over soon. Just a little longer and everything would be back to normal, I kept telling myself. But she wasn't done yet.

"Her best friend has gone missing and she does not know if she will be able to find her. She is surrounded by you people, but you stay distant from her, giving her no one to turn to in her time of need. It really felt like she was barely holding on."

I was cracking… The dam I had built was leaking and it was only a matter of time before it broke. I felt like I was about to be washed out into the ocean of my grief by the flow that was escaping from walls I had built. Ivy's words resonated very strongly inside me. And I could feel a tear start to roll down my cheek. I was hurting so much inside. But I had to be strong. I needed to keep this party moving forward. I needed to find Faun and save her. But how was I going to do that? I have never fought in my life. I didn't have the slightest idea of how to save her.

I bowed my head so the others would not see and let the tears come. There was no way to stop them. It felt like the fragile dam that had been holding them back was falling apart just because someone else noticed them. Tears fell through the growing cracks in the dam, burning tracks down my cheeks. I did my best to shut off my senses. I didn't want to know any more.

The tears continued to come unabated when I felt something across my back. I startled. I looked over to see Leafia sitting next to me with one arm across my shoulders. I leaned into her embrace and rested my head on her shoulder. Finding a firmness there that I was lacking, I closed my eyes, and continued to cry. I soon felt someone on the other side as Emily also put her arms around me. "Aunt Laurel, we are here for you." Emily said. I just sat there, I had no idea what to do. It felt like their arms were helping hold up the crumbling dam. But it was beyond hope, the dam was going break. Even the strength in their arms could not stop it. How could these two little girls take this load? "Laurel what's wrong?" There was no way I could lay this burden on their shoulders.

"I am so sorry. I had no idea you were struggling by yourself," Leafia said, "You have always been a G.o.ddess to us. It never really occurred to me that you would be going through the same things that we mortals go through." Leafia paused, unsure of how to go on. I guess I really was not any different than them. "Until I met Emily I had never had a friend. I was always treated as different from the rest of the village. They all wanted to be calm and sedate while I wanted adventure. I thought about running away many times. The only thing that kept me in the village was my calling as your guard. Everyone said it was a great honor and I should be proud. Even though I did not feel that way, I stayed because of the obligation."

Her words seemed almost hypocritical for an elf. I was impressed by her honesty. "If you did not feel it was an honor, what did you feel it was?" I could not help but ask.

"Boring," was her reply. I could not help but snort at that. Tears of laughter soon mingled with the tears of sadness.

"I am boring?" I asked.

"No, you are not," She said in haste, "Sitting around in the woods all day watching the plants grow is."

I could not help but mutter, "Try doing that for 500 years."

She leaned her head against mine that was still resting on her shoulder. I opened my eyes again. The tears in my eyes blurred the reds of the setting sun. It was surreal, beautiful. Leafia ignored my comment and continued her story."The day you left your pond, I had actually decided to run away. I overheard some younger men in the village talking about me. Their words hurt me so much and I knew that there was no way for me to ever find happiness in those woods." Tears started to run down Leafia's cheek and her voice became nasally. "Even though I knew I would never be able to come back I knew I had to leave.

"I guess what I am trying to say is I might not know exactly what you are going through, but I know what it is like to face hard things. I will be there for you when you need me to. So please tell me what it is I can do to help. Is there anything I can do?"

I nodded my head which was on her shoulder.

"What is it?"

In a small voice I managed to say. "Can I please call you Leafy too?" I could hear Emily let a little a chuckle out.

I could tell that Leafia started to smile. "I would be happy if you called me Leafy." I nuzzled into her shoulder a little more taking comfort in its strength.

"We are here to help you, not just follow you." Emily said. "But we don't know what you need unless you tell us. You seemed so strong. It looks likes you can handle anything. You have already faced so much, we can not even imagine."

"I have seem many years but I have lived all of them in peace," I said, despondent. "Why would anyone do things that they know will hurt others?"

After some moments Leafy said, "I guess this is part of what the little fairy meant."

"What did Rine say to you?" I asked slightly peevishly.

"He simply said that you were going to be facing things that you have never dealt with before and would need our help."

I guess I would let that one go. After all he was really going to have his hands full with that tree.

Oh! The tree! The sun and set a while ago. It should be ready now. I quickly sat up and turned to the tree. It was even better than I imagined.