Half-face Make-up Volume 1 Chapter 12

Unconsciously, I looked up. The lotus pond outside the window had turned green. A parrot sat in front of my window. I named it Huayu, because its emerald-red jacket was decorated with several different colors, like flowers after rain. It was hard to give up its sentimental feeling, carrying raindrops in the dots of tender leaves, like tears. Huayu was very similar to human beings. When I was depressed and silent, it was silent. I was in a good mood this morning, and it was also excited to call "Good morning.” From time to time, several pairs of swallows pa.s.sed by the lotus pond. An agile body left a beautiful figure on the surface of the water. The figure, under the comfort of a slight breeze, turned into a circle of ripples. The ripple in my eyes was the water's smile, an a.s.sociation of activity and inertia, which contained the essence of Buddhism.

I was teasing Huayu, laughing against the fence. Then I suddenly caught a glimpse of Bing'er who was angrily coming into the room. "Oh, what’s wrong with you, my little girl?"

"I’m dying of anger." Bing'er's eyebrows twisted together. "You are laughing. Actually, I’m fighting for you. . . "

"Why do you say that?" I asked quietly and faintly as I fed Huayu.

"My kind Concubine, you're too kind to let me send cordial to Yanran, but she doesn't appreciate it."

"Well, I did my job; whether or not she appreciates it is her business," I hummed softly.

"You didn't see Ling's alert look. I saw her quietly try the bird's nest that you let me send with the silver hairpin. She was afraid you would hurt Yanran. Today, I also found that the last dessert I sent had not even had its package opened. It's a waste of our time." Bing'er was really angry and spoke more harshly than usual.

"It's normal. There's no need to make a fuss about it."

"My Concubine, it's not that I make a fuss. Ling has to take a bite of it before giving it to her. She is not a concubine yet, but she is starting to show off. I really can't stand it."

"She must have watched the cruel struggle between the women in the court, so she has to be on guard." I blinked my eyes deeply and said something that I myself didn’t believe in.

"Well, my Concubine, I find you've changed your mood lately! Because of her child, Yanran won’t take you as a Formal Concubine anymore. She doesn’t even care about your kindness, and I'm afraid you'll be bullied if she has a son or daughter in the future.” Bing'er was a little worried.

"Well, what can we do about it? Master Jingyuan said that nothing happens when everything is empty. Did you forget that, Bing'er?"

"But are you really not afraid of that?" Bing'er asked.

I scooped some food and water with a wooden spoon and put them in Huayu’s cage. I was also a woman; how could I not be afraid? But fear was not helpful. As a married woman, like the bird in the cage, although yearning for the blue sky, it could not fly high. If you didn't want to be at the mercy of fate and struggle desperately, the final result could only be the loss of wings. What's more, you would lose your life!

I did not speak, but my eyes gradually lost their strength.

The sadness in my eyes gradually pa.s.sed to Bing'er's face, and there was a deep and helpless feeling in her eyes.

"Miss, I know you have a strong smile on your face, but your heart is as bitter as Goldthread. I remember that your mom had told me to take good care of you. Miss, I promise you that Bing'er will never let you be hurt. Bing'er is willing not to marry for a lifetime and accompany Miss for a lifetime." Bing'er called me "Miss" again, and her eyes sparkled with stars, as if to show her determination to protect her lady.

"Bing'er, I'm fine. Don't worry. You will find your own happiness in the future, and you can never sacrifice your life for me. I don't want you to. You can't do that. Do you hear that?" I wiped away her tears.

"Miss, let alone not marrying for a lifetime, if you need Bing'er's life, I can give you—" This time I covered her mouth.

"Silly girl, you said something wrong again. From now on, don't say such unlucky words, do you hear? You and I have to live well, as dazzling as the morning glow, as bright as the moon. The sky and the earth are vast and all things are glorious. There is always one place where you and I belong.”

"Miss, I know how tough you are. . ."

"Yes, Bing'er, glory and wealth are all superficial; in fact, there are more people who suffer as much as I do, but they still live their whole lives. Come on." I got up and wrote the character ‘Ku’ with my pen. "Bing'er, I understand now. You see, in the word ‘bitter,’ the top of the character resembles a person’s eyebrows, below that is a straight line, just like a person’s nose, and the bottom looks like a mouth. Do you think that we humans, whose facial features mirror the character for ‘bitter,’ are capable of escaping the bitter in our lives?"

Bing'er laughed. "Miss, only you could think of it!"

"There is no comfort in life, so it is necessary to endure the bitter in order to enjoy the sweet." I suddenly got serious. "Bing'er, you know, I regret that I chose to jump into the lake to kill myself. Master also said that if people die of self-mutilation, then they will not be able to live again in the afterlife. If that's the case, how could we meet again as sisters?"　　

"Miss. . . " Bing'er's tears dripped on my arm again, cool, but with a touch of warmth.

"Well, you cry and laugh for a while, which will make others laugh." I advised her with good words.

Just then, the voice of Mingzhu came in. "To the Concubine, Master Jingyuan let people take some letters and things to invite you. Please come out and take a look."

Bing'er and I quickly wiped the tear stains again, and mended our makeup before coming out.

There was a letter on the table, beside which was a small white porcelain vase with an elegant lotus pattern. The coloring style was light and shallow, which revealed the leisurely immortal charm of Master Jingyuan.

"Who sent it? What people?” I was anxious to inquire about Master's recent situation.

"To the Concubine, I heard that she was the first disciple of Master. She said that Master had something to do and went out, so she was asked to send it carefully. But she would not stay for a long time; she just wanted to say goodbye. I prepared the meal for her and she has taken it away."

"Well, okay." I knew it wasn’t easy for a person whose belief in Taoism was to stay in this mortal life for a long time, so I let her go.

After reading the letter, I lightly sighed. Only now could I understand the reasoning of Master.

"What did Master say?" Bing'er was an acute person.

"Guess! What's in this bottle?" I asked instead of answering.

"Oh, Concubine, I guessed. This is a prescription for Guipin." Mingzhu really deserved to be the chief maid; she was careful and cautious.

"Well done, Mingzhu," I praised.

"But why did it take so long to get it?" Bing'er had doubts.

"I'm afraid that's the question on everyone's mind. Otherwise, Master would not write to explain."

"Concubine, please say it quickly. You always deliberately make me anxious." Bing'er already knew what I was going to do, and began to be dissatisfied.

"All right, all right. Everyone knows that there is a white snake in the medicinal material. It was during the cold season at that time. The white snake hibernated and couldn’t leave its cave. So only when spring blooms, and the snake wakes up and climbs out of the ground, can it be caught. But this white snake is rare and very spiritual, so it’s not easy to catch. Master asked the nearby hunters to help, but also waited seven days to achieve success. Most importantly, Master is a monk and cannot kill easily. So Master said that although she was trying to save people and search for medicine, she also violated the Buddhist precepts. So she went to the closure to reflect. Oh, Master works too hard for me."

"Since Buddha emphasized universal access to all living beings, Concubine, you think you are also responsible for the hidden illness of Guipin. Why should you blame yourself?" Mingzhu asked.

"However, I also have my selfishness; I’m deliberately flattering." My heart was really sad; I’d given so much power and thought because I thought if I could achieve the desired, it’d be just fine. Otherwise, I was really guilty.

"Didn't the ancients say, 'All the world is busy for profit!' You are just for self-preservation. What’s more, after curing Guipin's disease, is it not a merit?" Bing'er answered.

I couldn't help hiding my mouth and chuckle. "My girl, you don't like reading and writing, do you? Today, your words flow from the mouth as from the pen of a master. It's a good way to say that."

"Ah? You’re making fun of me. . . " Bing'er's face was red.

Mingzhu laughed, too, and Bing'er got even angrier and ran out in a moment.

That night, a meteor crossed the sky; the moment of light and brilliance flashed in the endless darkness, but after that there was an indescribable pain. For this instant of burning, it gave up all life, falling into the vast darkness of eternity, with no way back.

The night was endless, and melancholy remained. But the weak light retained temporary meaningfulness and satisfaction.

I held the bottle in my hand, but I knocked over the five-flavor bottle in my heart, and all kinds of flavors mixed together.