Stealing Shadows - Hiding In The Shadows Part 43

He was silent for several moments, but her patient waiting seemed todrive him to answer finally. "There are certain criteria we use todetermine patient viability. Certain minimum levels of brain activity,for instance-"

"Was I below those minimum levels?"

"Faith, there's no absolute in medicine."

"Was I below the minimum levels?" she repeated steadily. "Was Iconsidered a viable patient with a future?" "No," he said, then hurriedon. "But there was a flicker of brain activity, and I'd told Miss.Leighton on her last visit that there was always a chance. I'd seen someremarkable things ... and you were breathing on your own, so of coursethere was no question of- of "n.o.body was going to unplug anything?"

Faith finished, her voice shaky now.

"No, of course not. And Miss. Leighton refused to give up hope. She wasvery upset when she left that last day, but still determined. I've neverseen anyone so determined to save another person. If strength of willcould have done it, you would have awakened that day. As it was, only acouple of weeks pa.s.sed before you did." He paused. "It's a shame shenever knew she was right."

"Yes. A shame. Thank you, Dr. Burnett."

"Faith ... about what happened the other day"

"Don't worry about it," she said. "We were all a bit touchy thatday." She cradled the receiver gently.

After a moment, she got up and carried her coffee to the piano. She saton the bench and flexed her fingers, looking at them with a littlefrown. Then she touched the keys tentatively, one here, one there, not arecognizable tune.

The buzzer sent her quickly to answer the intercom so that the soundwouldn't disturb Kane, and a few minutes later she opened the door toadmit Bishop.

"I didn't think you'd be so early," she said. "Kane's still asleep, andI'd rather not wake him."

Bishop eyed her thoughtfully and smiled. "I see."

Faith uttered a soft laugh. "This time, I doubt it.

But never mind. There's coffee-mine, I'm afraid, but help yourself ormake a fresh pot, whatever suits you.

Bishop watched her retreat to the piano, his smile fading and browsdrawing together. "I stopped by the station on my way here," he said,coming farther 'in- to the room. "Richardson filled me in. He also ...showed me the results of Dinah's autopsy. Nothing really unexpected.

Except-" "Except time of death," Faith said, pressing a key gently withone finger.

Bishop came to the piano and stared down at her.

'Yes."

"She hadn't been dead a few days. She'd been dead a few weeks. About ...four weeks." Slowly, Bishop said, "The coldness of that bomb shelter,the lack of air and humidity-all slowed the rate of decomposition, madeit appear she'd died recently. But the autopsy proved otherwise. The M E. wasn't willing to estimate closer than three to six weeks."

"Four,"

she said softly. "Just about four."

"Faith-"

"You know, it's the strangest thing." She placed all ten fingers on the ivory keys, then looked up at him.

"Just a few days ago, I could do it, but now ... I've forgotten how to play the piano."

Bishop gazed at her silently.

"Isn't that strange? And isn't it strange how I was able to pick those locks last night, when a few days ago I didn't even know that was a lock pick in the pocket of the jacket? Isn't it strange that I keep looking at my wrist as if I should be wearing a watch, when I know I've never been able to? Why I keep using my right hand instead of my left?"

She took her fingers off the keys and held one hand out to him. "How's your bulls.h.i.+t detector?"

Bishop hesitated for only an instant before taking her hand. They stared at each other, her green eyes calm and his silvery ones penetrating, searching.

He sucked in a breath suddenly, and his face whitened. "My G.o.d."

Faith drew her hand gently from his. "Isn't it strange," she whispered.

Bishop seemed not to know what to say at first, but finally asked, "Does Kane know?"

"I think ... he wonders. I think he's sensed some- thing. But who could know such a thing? Who could even imagine it to be possible?" "It's a second chance," Bishop said. "How many of us are granted that?"

She shook her head. "It isn't that simple and you know it."

"It should be that simple."

"Really? And how would you feel? Put yourself in his place. He's getting ready to bury her, Bishop. He's spent weeks grieving, letting go of her because he thought he had to.

What am I supposed to say to him now? Never mind?"

Bishop looked at her curiously. "Her?"

Faith's smile twisted. "Put yourself in my place. Do you really think anything-anybody could ever be the same again? Could ever be what they were before?"

"No. I suppose not."

In the silence of the apartment, they both heard the distant sound of the shower starting, and Bishop said, "I think it would be best if I made myself scarce for a while. I'll go back down to the station, see if there's anything I can do to help Richardson." "Coward," Faith said with

a stab at humor.

Bishop smiled, but his eyes were grave. "It might be ... best ... towait awhile, you know. Give it some time, allow both of you to adjust.""No," Faith said. "Not after last night. This time, we have to be honestwith each other." Bishop didn't ask any more questions. He reached overto touch her hand, then said, "I'll be around."

"I know. Thanks."

He got as far as the door before she said his name quietly, and hepaused to look back at her. Faith touched an ivory key softly, but shewas looking at him. "You'll be going back to Tennessee." too?"

"Yes. Pretty soon, I think. After the first of the year."

"What will I find there?" he asked slowly.

"Evil. And something else, something you've been searching for for along time." Bishop took a quickstep toward her, then pulled himself upshort. In a very controlled voice, he said, "I don't suppose you cantell me how it all turns out?" "No," she said, lying. "Just-be careful,Bishop."

He was motionless for a moment, then nodded abruptly and left withoutanother word. Faith stared at the door a long time after he'd gone, thengot up to freshen her coffee. What was the use of knowing what was goingto happen before it did?

Fate seemed to have a stranglehold on events; no matter what she'd donein the past to try to avert tragedy or even disappointment, it alwaysseemed to happen just the way she'd seen it.

"Be very careful, Bishop," she whispered.

When Kane came into the living room a few minutes later, she wa.s.sitting on the couch watching a news program on television detailing theexciting events of the previous night.

"I made some lousy coffee," she said, offering him a faint smile.

He leaned over the back of the couch, sliding his fingers into her hairand drawing her to him for a kiss. The kiss held hunger, and somethingelse, and when she could, despite what she'd told Bishop, Faithinvoluntarily said, "Tomorrow is soon enough, isn't it?"

Kane stroked her cheek, then came around the couch to sit in the chairacross from her. "Soon enough for what?"

"To say whatever it is you feel you have to say."

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers. "It's between us, Faith.

I don't want anything between us." She braced herself. "What's betweenus?" "This guilt." Faith knew, but asked anyway. "Guilt?"

"Guilt. Because Dinah's been gone not even two months. And I'm in lovewith you." Now that the moment had come, she wondered how on earth shecould tell him. How she could convince him when even a part of her stilldidn't believe it. But she had to try.

It sounded so simple in her mind, so incredible when she said the wordsaloud. "Dinah isn't gone. She's here. She's me."

Kane didn't move, didn't seem surprised. But he said, "How is thatpossible?" She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The human willis ... a remarkable thing. Dinah wanted to survive, wanted it verybadly. But her body ... wouldn't survive. She knew that. She hadknown for a long time it was going to happen. And she knew some- thingelse, something Dr. Burnett told her 'just hours before they grabbedher. That ... Faith ... hadn't really survived that crash. That only thebarest flicker of brain activity could be recorded, 'just enough to keepthe body breathing, the heart beating. A living sh.e.l.l without a mind ora soul." Kane said unevenly, "But two separate women ... You can'texpect me to believe "You already believe. You feel it's true even ifeverything you've been taught about life and death and the soul insistsit can't be possible."

"How? How is it possible?"

She shook her head. "I don't know how. I know there was a ... connection between Dinah and Faith before the crash, a closeness that was immediateand powerful. I know that each of them was psychic to a degree and indifferent ways." She shook her head again. "Maybe that had something todo with it. I don't know how. I only know that it happened."

"You speak of Dinah and Faith as if ... as if you're neither of them."

She thought of her words to Bishop, and conjured a smile. "In a way, I'm... the third point of the triangle, created when the other two touched.

I woke up without a memory, and for a while I was caught between the twopeople I had been, neither one nor the other but with shadowyrecollections and half- conscious mannerisms and muscle memories. I could even play the piano. For a while." Kane glanced at the piano andremembered her sitting on the bench looking lost and bewildered. Still,he 'blinked, "This is so ... unbelievable. How do you know it isn't whatyou believed all along, a psychic connection? That it isn't as simple asyou remembered things that Dinah said to you while you were in the coma?"Softly, she said, "Dinah sat by the bed and talked to an empty sh.e.l.l,Kane. There was n.o.body there to hear, n.o.body to remember what she said."

Unable to be still a moment longer, Kane rose and began moving aroundthe room. He knew she watched him with grave green eyes. How could sheclaim-How could she believe- "Faith-" He stopped, looked at her.

Understanding, she said, "I've gotten used to the name. We've all gottenused to the name." In a raw voice, he said, "I saw her body. I see ittorn and mangled every time I close my eyes. I have to plan a memorialservice so everybody who knew her can say goodbye."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Kane walked to the window and stood staring out.

"I told you I'd say what I had to, even if it wasn't what you wanted tohear." She closed her eyes. Yes.

"I can't-I don't know how to accept this, Faith. I don't know if I can."

She wanted to tell him it was all right, that she would wait until hecame to terms with it all. Wanted to tell him again that she loved him,had always loved him.

But she hurt too much and her throat was too tight to allow her to sayanything at all. Her purse was on a chair near the door. It was all sheneeded, really; most of the clothing she had here didn't fit the way oranother. And she was starting over anyway.

She picked up her purse, and she walked out.

Kane heard the door close quietly. Without turning, he said to the emptyapartment, "But I don't want you to go."

It just didn't seem like Christmas with a temperature of nearlyseventy and brilliant suns.h.i.+ne, but the insistent carols on the radiowarbled again and again that it was beginning to look that way and SantaClaus was coming and bells were jingling ... Faith turned off the radioand thought how perfectly understandable it was that the suicide ratewent up around holidays. Alone, she wouldn't have been able to bearit.

Thank G.o.d for Haven House, where she had spent hours helping decorateand bake and wrap presents for the kids. Thank G.o.d for Katie, who hadbeen puzzled by Faith's sudden inability to play the piano, butforgiving. There weren't many blanks left now. There was even, finally,acceptance. And grat.i.tude. Faith went back to trying to concentrate onthe college-course catalog, silently debating whether to put her writingskills to good use in a course- other than journalism. Or communicationsfield maybe advertising. Even if she had to take just general-interestcourses until she made up her mind, she fully intended to sign up forthe next semester. She needed to get on with her life.

She had ordered a pizza to be delivered, so when the doorbell rang shewent to answer it with a twenty it in her hand.

"I never take money from redheads," Kane said.