The Internet Is A Playground Part 8

If you don't want your child to attend the play just indicate that on the permission slip.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Monday 15 March 2010 11:04 a.m. Monday 15 March 2010 11:04 a.m.

To: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip PERMISSION SLIP PERMISSION SLIPDear Parent/Guardian of Seb Thorne Seb ThorneOn Monday the 22nd of March, cla.s.ses from year 5 and 6 will be attending a presentation held outside of school grounds at the Mary Richardson Memorial Hall. During the presentation, the true meaning of Easter will be explained in an entertaining and fun filled play performed by members of the Grange Uniting Church youth drama group. Students must have a signed permission slip prior to departure. If you give your child permission to attend this presentation, please sign and return to the school with your child. If you have any questions about the presentation, please call me on or send me an email to darry or send me an email to darryu From: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Date: Monday 15 March 2010 2:11 p.m. Monday 15 March 2010 2:11 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: No Subject No Subject

I will pray for you.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Monday 15 March 2010 2:19 p.m. Monday 15 March 2010 2:19 p.m.

To: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Subject: Re: No Subject Re: No Subject

Thanks. Mention that I want a Toyota Prado if you get the chance. A white one. With dark grey leather interior and sat. nav.

Regards, David

From: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:20 a.m. Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:20 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: No Subject

I've had enough of your nonsense. Dont e-mail me again.

From: G.o.d G.o.d Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 10:18 a.m. Tuesday 16 March 2010 10:18 a.m.

To: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Subject: Word of G.o.d Word of G.o.d

DARRYL, THIS IS G.o.d. BUY DAVID A TOYOTA PRADO. A WHITE ONE. WITH DARK GREY LEATHER INTERIOR AND SAT. NAV.

From: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:35 p.m. Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:35 p.m.

To: G.o.d G.o.d Cc: Cc: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Word of G.o.d Re: Word of G.o.d

I'm serious.

From: G.o.d G.o.d Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:48 p.m. Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:48 p.m.

To: Darryl Robinson Darryl Robinson Subject: Re: Re: Word of G.o.d Re: Re: Word of G.o.d

OK.

Simon's good ideas for websites h.e.l.lo, my name is Simon. I have good ideas for websites all the time. Every single one of my ideas would make lots of money. Do not copy these ideas, because they are mine.

everything.com This would be a website where instead of having to look all over the Internet for what you want, it would all be in the one place. This would effectively end the need for search engines, so I would have to be careful that Google representatives do not kill me in my sleep.

whereaboutsami.com This would be a website where users can write the name of the city and street they are on, and I would tell them where they are.

onlinepetfrog.com Instead of buying their own pet frog, users would pay a fee, and I would buy them a frog and look after it. Users could log on anytime to a live webcam, see how their frog is doing, and send live requests for me to wave the frog's hand at the camera or bang on the gla.s.s if it is sleeping.

whatkindofcoughisthat.com A website that contains sound files of different coughs. Each cough would have a description to allow the user to sound match and determine the kind of cough they have before going to the chemist and buying either dry or wet cough medicine.

yourloungeroom.com Users would be able take a photo of their lounge room and upload it to the site. Then I would tell them what furniture does not look good.

howdoigettowhereiam.com This site would contain a link to the page the user is currently on.

whichonetowear.com Users of this website would take photos of themselves wearing every combination of every article of clothing they own, then upload the images to a user database. Every day, instead of trying on clothing, the user can choose an outfit by simply viewing their choices online.

armbook.com Similar to Facebook, but people upload photos of their arms.

deceasedlovedones.com This would be a website where you pay a fee to join and are given your own web page with an empty blog. In the event of their death, users can write a message to their loved ones. Similar setup to prepaid funerals. Loved ones either can log on and check whether the user has left a message for them or can opt to receive an e-mail notifying them when a message has been left.

everyoneschair.com A website where users can upload a picture of their chair and then if anyone tries to use it they can say, "That's my chair." And if anyone says, "Has it got your name on it?" users can send them a link to their photo of the chair, which will have the caption "This is (user's name)'s chair."

screensavingpage.com A website that is a black page so that people can go there instead of buying a screensaver.

uploadyourscreen.com A website where users take a screenshot of their computer screen and upload it so that when they are looking at p.o.r.n and the boss walks past they can type in the link and go to it instead.

picturesofpegs.com This website would contain pictures of pegs, allowing the users to have access to pictures of pegs whenever they need them.

amihavingaheartattack.com A website for people having a heart attack.

Dear Blockbuster member, we want our DVDs back I find it annoying to pay late fees on movies, and I am too lazy to return them on time, which leaves me simply complaining about it. I used to know a guy named Matthew who would sell me copies of the latest movies for five dollars each, but they were all recorded by someone in a cinema with what appeared to be a low-resolution webcam, and epilepsy. Several times during each movie the person would s.h.i.+ft positions, or have people walk past in front, and one time filmed the chair in front of him for at least twenty minutes. Matthew's statement was that he did not know the quality before he got them, but in one, the person filming answered his phone with "h.e.l.lo, Matthew speaking," and when I mentioned it to him, he stopped selling me movies.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Sunday 8 November 2009 2:16 p.m. Sunday 8 November 2009 2:16 p.m.

To: Megan Roberts Megan Roberts Subject: DVDs DVDs

Dear Megan,

Thank you for your letter regarding overdue fees. As all four movies were outstanding examples of modern cinematic masterpieces, your a.s.sumption that I would wish to retain them in my possession is understandable but incorrect. Please check your records, because these movies were returned, on time, more than three weeks ago. I remember specifically driving there and having my offspring run them in due to the fact that I was wearing shorts and did not want the girl behind the counter to see my white, hairy legs.

Regards, David

From: Megan Roberts Megan Roberts Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11:09 a.m. Monday 9 November 2009 11:09 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: DVDs Re: DVDs

Hi David. Our computer system indicates otherwise. Please recheck and get back to me.

Kind regards, Megan

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11:36 a.m. Monday 9 November 2009 11:36 a.m.

To: Megan Roberts Megan Roberts Subject: Re: Re: DVDs Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,

Yes, they are definitely white and hairy. Viewed from the knees down, the similarity to two large albino caterpillars in parallel formation is frightening. People who knew what the word means might describe them as "piliferous," although there is something quite s.e.xy about that word, so perhaps they wouldn't.

Regards, David From: Megan Roberts Megan Roberts Date: Monday 9 November 2009 1:44 p.m. Monday 9 November 2009 1:44 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: DVDs Re: Re: Re: DVDs

Hi David