On A Wing And A Prayer Part 18

E, I ... I ... Oh, h.e.l.l. Who am I kidding. E, I'm going out of my mind waiting to see if she'll write back. What if I pushed it too far this time? she asked her alter ego.

Ca.s.s, this one's a sure thing ... a done deal ... This chick is like putty in your hands ... What are you fretting about? Look, if you appear too anxious, you might scare her away. You need to shut the computer off and go do something else. Okay? Enforcer reasoned.

Ca.s.s' brow furrowed into a frown. Like what? she demanded.

Well ... Chickie-baby is into sci-fi, right? How 'bout we go to the new Starwars movie. Heaven knows your nervousness can screw up a wet dream ... at least you'll be prepared to talk intelligently about something when she finally responds! Enforcer suggested.

Ca.s.s stood there contemplating the suggestion for several moments.

Well? Enforcer urged.

Throwing up her hands, she said into the empty room, "Okay, okay ... you win. Let's go." Grabbing some money and her car keys, she shoved them deep into the pocket of her shorts, shut the computer down, then headed out the door.

It was nearly 5:00 p.m. by the time Ca.s.s arrived home. She could hardly remember what the movie was about, having spent nearly the entire two hours sitting there daydreaming about Rox. Wow, I've been alone way too long, E. This woman, who just happens to be nearly 3,000 miles away, pays me a little attention, and whammo, I'm hooked. I cant' think of anything but her! She invades my dreams, she is in my mind constantly. E ... this is only Friday! What am I going to do for the next two days? I'll be comatose by Monday morning if I keep this up, she complained to herself.

You know what I think, Ca.s.s. It's all that nervous energy. You need to get la .... , Enforcer began., Don't even go there, E! I don't WANT to get laid ... well, I do ... but only by .... d.a.m.n! Now look where my mind is going! Aarrgghh! she screamed internally. Maybe a nice cold shower. Yeah, that should do it, she thought as she charged into the bathroom, stripping her clothing off along the way.

Fifteen minutes later, Ca.s.s was sitting in front of her computer, s.h.i.+vering, hair still dripping wet, as she waited for it to boot up.

Ddddid you hhhave to mmmmake the wwwater ssso cccccold, Ca.s.s? Enforcer asked.

Ca.s.s just sat there staring at the screen, a terry cloth robe pulled tightly around her s.h.i.+vering form.

Finally, the computer finished booting up. Selecting 'Netscape Communicator', Ca.s.s once again, sat and waited. "I could reach her faster if I jumped in the jet and FLEW to Maine," she shouted at the computer.

You're dripping on the keyboard, Ca.s.s. Remember what happened last time when you spilled your coffee on it ... that was an expensive cup of coffee. You'd better go towel dry your hair, Enforcer suggested.

Exasperated with the speed at which the computer was scanning for new mail, she rose from her chair and did just that, returning moments later with a towel over her head, and to an inbox containing a post from Checking the time of the post, she noted that it had just arrived about ten minutes earlier. With a shaky hand, she guided the mouse to the new mail icon and clicked.

"Dear Ca.s.s,

It amazes me that we are so far apart, yet I feel so close to you. What is it about you, Ca.s.s Conway? Why does this feel so familiar? Why does this feel so safe?

She feels safe? E! she feels safe with me. Wow! That's more than I hoped for right away. Cool! she thought.

Do I believe in fate? I believe in destiny. Kismet, if you would. What I feel for you is too familiar to be anything but fate. My friend Nikki, asked how I felt about you. I told her that this feels right. I too, feel like I have known you before ... that we share a connection of sorts.

Oh yes, we have definitely known each other before, Rox. We are soulmates ... I can feel it!

Do I believe that we have known each other in past lives? I don't know. It would seem to be the only explanation for the sense of familiarity that I feel when I read your notes. I do believe our souls are bonded in some way ... across distance ... across time.

Wow! E, she says she can feel the connection! Ca.s.s thought excitedly.

I CAN read, Ca.s.s. Geesh. You are a whipped puppy already, my friend! Enforcer teased.

As I have told you previously, I am currently involved in a very dark relations.h.i.+p. I am bound to this person at the present time only to bring peace to my father, who is dying. He so badly wants to see me happy, and he believes that I am. I will continue to allow that belief until he is gone. Until then, I will endure the darkness, and wait for the light. I ask myself if you are that light, Ca.s.s. I feel in my heart that you are. I long to reach into the light, to embrace it, to let it guide me, and protect me.

Oh my G.o.d. Rox, I'm so sorry, Ca.s.s whispered to herself. Rox. I WILL be your light. I promise.

You have asked me to trust in you, Ca.s.s. That is oh, so hard to do. But I find my inner voice telling me to do just that. I will listen to this voice ... I will take the risk and I will learn you heart ... I will offer you a piece of mine ... a piece that I have never given another living soul. I ask that you protect it carefully, my Warrior, for it bruises easily. I do trust that you will not hurt me.

She shoots, she scores! Raahhhhh, Yeeeeaaahhhhh! Enforcer cheered.

E, calm down, will ya? Look at what she says here ... look, she calls me her Warrior. d.a.m.n, Rox, what a simple word can do to me, Ca.s.s thought as her stomach clenched in antic.i.p.ation of answering this post.

I am looking forward to hearing from you again, Warrior.

Your Bard,

Rox"

Ca.s.s sat back in her chair and took a deep breath. She was surprised to find her eyes welling up with tears. My Warrior ... Your Bard ... Rox, why am I so enchanted by you? How is it that you can take my breath away with a single keystroke?

Sitting up straight again, Ca.s.s reached over to poise her hands above the keys. Selecting 'reply', she started to type.

"My Dearest Roxanne,

I knew from the minute I saw your picture that you would affect my life forever. Your beauty simply took my breath away. I was a willing captive right from the start. You have never been far from my thoughts since that very day just two short weeks ago.

The fates have most definitely brought us together, dear heart. Yes, this does feel right, and safe and warm, and very, very familiar. I feel as though I have always known you, Rox. I feel as though you have always lived in a dormant part of my heart that was suddenly awakened when I gazed into liquid pools of emerald green looking up at me from the back cover of your book.

No amount of distance nor time will keep us part ... at least not in our hearts. Just think of me Rox, and my spirit will be there, in your mind and in your soul.

Rox, it pains me to know that you are living under a veil of darkness. Please tell me, my bard, what can I do to help? Please tell me that you are safe and well. I am so sorry that your father is ill. I am so sorry that you are living under the pretense of happiness to fulfill his dying dream. Roxanne, your life and your future are so much more important than that. I am sure your father wants to see you truly happy, not just living under a facade of happiness. Let me help you, Rox ... Tell me how to free you from this pain. Let me be that light you speak so joyously of. I want to be the one to guide and protect you Rox. Please let me.

I will never give you a reason to mistrust me, Rox, and I will never hurt you. I am honored to have been given a piece of your precious heart, a part that you haven't given to anyone else before ... and yes, I , your Warrior shall guard it and honor it with love. Thank you for entrusting me with such a wonderful gift.

Every moment that I await your call is like an eternity to my soul. Please speak your heart to me, Roxanne. I am here to listen, to help and to guide. I am so looking forward to hearing from you again. Please write soon.

Your loving Warrior,

Ca.s.s"

Ca.s.s, you are one six-foot tall mushball, you know that! Enforcer teased. Don't every change, buddy ... I love you just the way you are, she added as she reached over and clicked on 'send'.

As soon as Rox replied to Ca.s.s' note, she moved on to answer her agent's e-mail, sending him the bad news about her broken wrist, and warning him that it may result in a two or three week delay in the deadline of the book, however, promising to absorb as much of the slip as possible. That task out of the way, she decided to outline a few notes for the next chapter, typing one handed so Nikki could return to reading her book.

Just as she was about to log off the Internet, the mail icon flashed, indicating the delivery of new mail. Awkwardly moving the mouse with her left hand, she managed to query the server, and discovered that Ca.s.s had already replied to her post.

"Oh my G.o.d!" Rox exclaimed drawing the attention of her two friends. "He responded already. I only sent the post fifteen minutes ago!" she explained.

Ca.s.s' quick response peaked the interest of both Jerri and Nikki as they clamored from their respective positions, to Rox's side to read along with the red head.

"My Dearest Roxanne,

I knew from the minute I saw your picture that you would affect my life forever. Your beauty simply took my breath away. I was a willing captive right from the start. You have never been far from my thoughts since that very day just two short weeks ago.

Roxanne looked at her friends. "Has it only been two weeks?" she asked. "It feels like I've known him forever."

The fates have most definitely brought us together, dear heart. Yes, this does feel right, and safe and warm, and very, very familiar. I feel as though I have always known you, Rox. I feel as though you have always lived in a dormant part of my heart that was suddenly awakened when I gazed into liquid pools of emerald green looking up at me from the back cover of your book.

"Look, he called you dear heart," Jerri observed, pointing to the screen. "You've got him hooked, Rox ... now just reel him in."

No amount of distance nor time will keep us part ... at least not in our hearts. Just think of me Rox, and my spirit will be there, in your mind and in your soul.

I know Ca.s.s. I feel like you're here next to me right now instead of 3,000 miles away, Rox thought to herself.

Rox, it pains me to know that you are living under a veil of darkness. Please tell me, my bard, what can I do to help? Please tell me that you are safe and well. I am so sorry that your father is ill. I am so sorry that you are living under the pretense of happiness to fulfill his dying dream. Roxanne, your life and your future are so much more important than that. I am sure your father wants to see you truly happy, not just living under a facade of happiness. Let me help you, Rox ... Tell me how to free you from this pain. Let me be that light you speak so joyously of. I want to be the one to guide and protect you Rox. Please let me.

"I like this guy. See Rox, this is the same advice I gave you earlier this week. Now will you listen to me?" Nikki asked.

I will never give you a reason to mistrust me, Rox, and I will never hurt you. I am honored to have been given a piece of your precious heart, a part that you haven't given to anyone else before ... and yes, I , your Warrior shall guard it and honor it with love. Thank you for entrusting me with such a wonderful gift.

Rox covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a sentimental sob at Ca.s.s' reference to Warrior. Nikki and Jerri looked at each other and smiled their approval.

Every moment that I await your call is like an eternity to my soul. Please speak your heart to me, Roxanne. I am here to listen, to help and to guide. I am so looking forward to hearing from you again. Please write soon.

Your loving Warrior,

Ca.s.s"

Rox looked at her friends and allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks.

"Are you going to tell him about Chris, Rox? He is asking you to speak your heart," Nikki pointed out.

"Here, give me the computer, I'll tell him about Chris," Jerri volunteered.

"No ... No, I'll tell him ... when the time is right," Rox replied.

"What do you mean, when the time is right?" Nikki asked suspiciously.

"Nikki, I don't want a knight in s.h.i.+ny armor ... I want someone who will love me for me ... for what I am ... NOT because they have a sense of vengeance about domestic abuse," she told her friends. Seeing that they didn't quite understand her point, she continued. "Look, I don't want Ca.s.s to come here because he wants to beat the s.h.i.+t out of Chris. I want him to come here because he has fallen in love with me. Understand?"

"So what are you planning to do now?" Nikki asked.