Last Riders: Lucky's Choice Part 33

"Yes. I met Lucky when he was still a pastor in the service. I was in and out of camps during different times, and I never had much contact with him then, but even from what little I saw of him, I saw the war taking its toll on him. After Knox's wife Suns.h.i.+ne died, he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't tell one more brother that someone they loved wasn't coming home. I thought he would leave the service then, but he re-upped, went into Seal training, and came out at the top of his cla.s.s. If Lucky couldn't save them with the Bible, he had made his mind up to do it with a rifle. His sense of honor had him wanting to make sure he could bring as many brothers home as he could, even if he had to sacrifice all his beliefs, even if it was his own life he had to forfeit."

"John 15:13: 'Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,'" Willa quoted softly.

"He went on all the dangerous missions in the worst areas. Then Bridge asked Lucky to watch over his kid brother when they were told to empty a village before the enemy attacked, and Lucky promised he would.

"Willa, what I'm about to tell you is cla.s.sified."

"I swear to G.o.d I won't repeat what you tell me," Willa said earnestly.

"I know you won't, or I wouldn't have told you as much as I have."

Shade leaned forward, putting his forearms on his thighs as he recounted Lucky's past.

"We were given six hours to evacuate a village of sixteen hundred. I was in place on a ridge to alert them if any enemy approached, but I was ordered not to make my presence known. There was intel that a target the government wanted taken out would be present when the enemy forces attacked, and the government wanted that target bad.

"Two squads went in. Lucky, Kale, Razer, and four others were in one. They would get the refugees out. The other squad would take them to safety. The evacuation was going well until one of the refugees didn't like being rushed and turned on the soldiers. He grabbed Kale's gun and turned it on him. He was shot in his leg and arm.

"The rest of the soldiers continued with the evac while Razer and Lucky worked on Kale. It took time, and the enemy was getting there sooner than the intel had predicted. Lucky called for air evac for Kale, so Train and his team were on the way to get them out. At that point, everyone had been evaced except Lucky's squad, and it was those ten men who were left to face the h.e.l.l that was about to open up.

"Keep in mind, I wasn't allowed to break cover and give them any support. The target I was after was too important. I had to watch those men fight one of the dirtiest fights I've ever witnessed. Lucky brought down soldier after soldier, but they needed a break so Train could land the helicopter and get the men out."

"What did Lucky do?"

Shade's mouth twisted. "The crazy b.a.s.t.a.r.d went and found a break in the enemy line then sneaked out of the part of town that wasn't covered. He sneaked behind enemy lines. It was a suicide mission. He set off explosives that gave Train time to land and get the squad on board."

"How did Kale die?" Willa whispered, barely able to talk without bursting into tears.

"He bled out. He died when Lucky was setting off the explosives. The men tried to get his body to the transport. Two men were shot trying. Razer still tried, risking his own life until the command was given to leave him."

Willa bit down on her hand, realizing it must have been torture for the men to leave one of their own behind.

"The helicopter took off without Kale and Lucky. Both were irretrievable."

"Lucky was left behind?" Willa cried out.

"The squad had no choice; he was behind enemy lines. Train had his orders, and he had to think of the lives on that helicopter. He had his own team to protect, plus the remaining squad members."

"What happened to Lucky?"

"The lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d kept them chasing him for an hour. They got close enough to shoot him three times, yet he kept managing to find hiding places for short periods of time. The last one got him in the back, but he managed to find cover between two rocks."

"How did he get out?"

"Train defied orders and came back for him alone. He wasn't allowed to fly for six months and was demoted for that stunt." Shade's hand tapped the gla.s.s that covered the medals. "He received these for saving those lives that day, but he won't even look at them. I had them framed for him, though, because he deserved every d.a.m.n one of them."

Shade reached for the other medals, and he flicked one open and laid it on her lap. "He received this for saving a village when he was a pastor. He stayed behind because there were children he refused to leave. The children were sick and couldn't be moved. The squad left him behind. The only one who stayed was Razer. He received a medal also."

Shade laid another, bigger leather book on her lap which he flipped open. "He was given this for saving a U.S. envoy that was escorting food to a town that was slowly being starved to death. Only five men have been given this medal since it was made."

The last leather book was set on her lap and contained nine different medals of various sizes with a larger one at the top. "Lucky was awarded the one at the top from the president. The rest are from the different states that contained the drug and firearms pipeline that Lucky busted while undercover as Pastor Dean."

"Undercover?"

"Lucky was an ATF Special Agent."

"He never told me."

"Again, this is all confidential. Several of the sources he used could be killed if the wrong people found out where the information came from to make the arrests. He also was instrumental in finding several women who were kidnapped by a s.e.x ring, and Lucky saved Lily's life.

"What you are looking at, Willa, is Lucky's life. He's saved hundreds of lives and has made a difference in hundreds of others. He's a f.u.c.king hero, but he can't live with one fact."

"What?" Willa choked out.

"That he can't save them all."

"He can't honestly believe ... No one has that power. Only G.o.d." Willa's fingers trembled as she held the proof that Lucky had tried, nearly at the cost of his own life, to do just that.

"Logically, Lucky knows that, but that's what PTSD does to you-it f.u.c.ks you up."

"That's why he can't sleep."

Shade stared directly at her. "Yes. It was better here at the clubhouse, but it's becoming worse."

"Because of me," she stated, staring back at him. "Why?"

"I don't know. You'd have to ask Lucky that question."

"Why do you believe the PTSD is becoming worse?"

"The brothers and I kept Lucky physically active. We aggravated him so he'd come down to the gym to work out his aggression. We kept him busy with paperwork and errands. We also have initiations for the recruits, and we made sure he was always one picked to fight."

"The women, also." Willa bit her lip. "He used knives on them."

"Not like you're thinking, Willa. It's not about cutting; it's about trust. Lucky is a master with those things. He never makes a mistake with them."

"You'd have to trust someone a lot to let them put a knife to your throat," Willa said ruefully.

Shade pointed at the medals still sitting on her lap. "Do you really believe that the man who earned those medals could hurt a woman, especially one he loves enough to risk his sanity?"

"Do you think he knew it was going to be hard leaving The Last Riders?"

"Yes, it was hard for him when he was undercover, but building the cases kept him busy, and the paris.h.i.+oners."

"He doesn't have that now, and he walked away from the club."

"Exactly."

"I didn't ask him to leave."

Shade stood, taking the medals away from her and stacking them back into the cabinet before locking the drawer closed then locking the cabinet.

"I would like those, please."

"They aren't mine to give." Shade put his hands in his pockets, going to stand by the door. "You may not have asked him to leave, but you knew he was leaving because of you. He already feels guilty because Bridge wants to hurt you. Do you know he always said he was going to marry a s.l.u.t?"

"What?" Willa gasped. She didn't know if she should be happy or upset that she didn't fit Lucky's image of a perfect wife.

She thought Shade's mouth twitched, but she couldn't be sure.

"He'll tell you it was because of Bridge, that he didn't want to leave a wife behind who couldn't move on, but I believe he knew it would be difficult to leave The Last Riders. A s.l.u.t would fit into the club."

"That's true," Willa snapped then frowned. "There's something I don't understand. I thought Bridge threatened to kill the woman Lucky loves, not Lucky."

"He did, but if Lucky finds out Bridge got anywhere next to you, he'll kill Bridge. Lucky is a Christian, but he won't mind going to prison if he thinks anyone he cares about is in danger."

Willa stood, walking to the large bed before turning to face Shade. "Lucky needs The Last Riders to heal."

"Yes and no. He needs you, too."

Willa dropped her head. "I can't share him, and I really don't want to let someone else touch me." She looked up to see his reaction.

Shade's arms crossed over his chest. "Do Lily and Beth seem happy to you?"

"You mean ... I thought because they lived..."

"Rachel and Cash have their own home, too. Lucky laid the foundation for his home a few feet from Razer's."

"He didn't tell me..." Willa didn't know what to do. To help Lucky, she was going to have to let go of the ideal of the kind of marriage she and Lucky should have. It was going to be up to her to make most of the changes and accept a group of people as family.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" she asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead." This time, there was no mistaking his amus.e.m.e.nt.

She pointed to the upstairs. "Is it always like that, or was it just a wild night?"

"It gets worse."

Willa paled.

"I know you, Willa. You're strong enough to make a place for yourself in the club. Lucky will help you find the parts you like and keep you from the rest. It can work if you want it to."

Willa nodded, walking toward him, and Shade opened the door for her.

"Something you said about when Lucky was behind enemy lines ... You said he had crawled between two rocks. How did he get from there to the helicopter?"

"That's another question." He moved aside so she could pa.s.s. Instead, she stopped in front of him with tears coursing down her cheeks, barely able to see him as she tried to blink them back.

"You broke cover, didn't you? You saved his life, and it wasn't the last time, was it?" She went to her toes, reaching up to kiss Shade on his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Chapter 26.

Willa let herself in the church, relieved when she heard Lucky in the shower. Smiling mischievously to herself, she took her clothes off and slipped on the bra and panty set s.e.x Piston had given her. She barely had time to throw her clothes in the hamper and arrange herself on the bed. With no time to spare, she found the remote on the nightstand.

Lucky was drying his hair with a towel with another knotted casually on his hips when he came to a stop in front of the bed, his mouth dropping open.

"How was the progress going at your house?"

"Good." Willa didn't cross her fingers. She was sure the house was progressing fine. She raised the remote in her hand. "Want to play?"

"Yeah, I want to play." He threw the towel in his hand on the chair then jerked the one around his hips off, tossing it on top of the other one.

Willa giggled when Lucky jumped onto the bed. Before he could touch her, though, she scooted away.

"I love you so much, Lucky."

"I love you, too, siren. Come here."

Willa shook her head teasingly. "Ask me how much."

"How much?"

"Ask me how much I love you."

Lucky's expression turned serious. "How much do you love me?"

Willa held her arms apart as far as they would go. "This much." She crawled forward, wrapping her arms around him.

Lucky twisted his body until she was lying underneath him. "Siren, there are no words to describe what I feel for you."

"There aren't?"

"No, but I can show you."

Lucky proved it to her with each brush of his mouth against her body. When his hand took hers, placing it on his c.o.c.k, he showed the desire he had for her. Willa took his hand, showing him her body's response.

She brushed her mouth against his nipple. "I have something to confess. I like your tattoos."

"Thank you."

"A lot." She pushed him back on the bed, rising over him, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s brus.h.i.+ng his chest. The bra she had on barely contained them. Willa placed one knee on the other side of his hip, straddling him. "Am I too heavy?"