Fortune's Bride Part 7

For all her bold use of words like "consummate" and "light-skirt", Esmeralda really knew very little about s.e.x. Her mother had died before Esmeralda was told anything about the subject, and in recent years she had not been allowed to have friends intimate enough to discuss such matters. She had, of course, heard hints and innuendos, but these were dreadfully confusing. On the one hand, a young and lively matron, married very much to her own taste, would smile and wink with sparkling eyes and hint that her matrimonial duties were a most delightful pleasure. On the other, another would sigh lugubriously and cast up her eyes to heaven like a martyr. Both husbands had seemed pleasant enough to Esmeralda, but since she had never found either of them more physically appealing than the other, she was not a bit the wiser.

All she knew was that Robert had a very strong effect on her and that as their familiarity grew, the effect not only strengthened but changed. When they had first joined company, she had been satisfied just to look at Robert's handsome face, and to hear him speak was a pure delight. Now there was a growing sense of dissatisfaction mingled with her pleasure. It was not enough to look. Esmeralda wanted to touch and to be touched.

It was a most frustrating desire, for there was little opportunity for "accidental" intimacy when they were alone. The tiny house had two rooms, one above and one below, and Robert did not share the upstairs bedchamber with Esmeralda. Although this must have been known to all, as Robert's cot stood against one wall, it caused no surprise or doubt. Few husbands and wives of Robert's cla.s.s shared a bedchamber. In this particular case, the separation was even more natural because Robert might be called out at all hours. To rouse him if he had slept above-stairs would have been more difficult and even embarra.s.sing. Moreover, there was no reason for Esmeralda to have her night's rest broken by the demands of Robert's duty.

Nonetheless, living together as husband and wife did affect their relations.h.i.+p. Despite not sharing a bedroom, Esmeralda saw a great deal more of Robert's body than she would have under more formal circ.u.mstances. It would have been unnatural, considering the heat, for Robert not to take off his uniform jacket when he was supposedly at ease at home. Thus, Esmeralda was treated to a frequent display of her husband's manly form as his thin, sweat-wet cambric s.h.i.+rt clung to him, exposing every curve of muscle as clearly as if he had been naked. Nor did his tight breeches leave much more to the imagination.

Naturally, Esmeralda did not allow her eyes to linger on these most fascinating aspects of the male body. That, she knew, would be vulgar and unladylike. At least, she did not allow Robert or anyone else to catch her staring. But if she found her husband asleep when she came down from siesta, she would drink in the lines of his body, standing with hands tightly clasped so she would not reach out to caress him. Or at other times, when he was busy with writing some report, she would lift her eyes from her sewing and let her gaze slide from shoulder to thigh as if she were stroking him.

More puzzling to Esmeralda than her desire to touch Robert-she had long accepted the fact that she loved him, and it seemed logical to her that one should wish to touch a beloved object-was the effect merely looking at him had upon her. When her eyes rested on his strong shoulders and thighs, her skin would grow warm, and she could feel her b.r.e.a.s.t.s thrust against her bodice, the nipples hard and almost painfully sensitive. And her thighs would tremble and seem so weak that she had to press her knees hard together to make her legs behave.

It was very strange but also most fortunate, Esmeralda thought, that his handsome face did not cause nearly as strong a reaction. She giggled. That would have been a major disaster. It would have been impossible to look at him when answering a question or during normal conversation when his friends were present. And then the giggle died. Would it have been unfortunate? If she had given herself away, would Robert have responded? Was he jealous?

Esmeralda rose and went to look into Robert's shaving gla.s.s, propped on a shelf near the one window. She had to stand on tiptoe and could see no more than her face. She sighed. No, she was allowing her own desire to twist her thinking. There was nothing in the face that looked back at her that could tempt a man into love in two weeks. It was far more likely that Robert, totally unaware that she was in love with him, feared she would be attracted to one of his fellow officers and embarra.s.s him by misbehavior.

Insofar as Robert's conscious thoughts went, Esmeralda was quite correct. The word "love" had never entered his mind. He was as troubled by Esmeralda's presence as she was by his and was having as much difficulty controlling where his eyes rested. But he accepted that as quite natural, for Merry had a fine figure. He had acknowledged that from the day he married her. It was quite normal, from Robert's point of view, that a man's eyes should be attracted to a fine feminine figure and that his body should be aroused by it. He did not a.s.sociate physical desire with love, and aside from sometimes feeling annoyed when it delayed his falling asleep or when he woke with a powerful urge, he could almost completely dismiss that aspect of his feelings about Esmeralda.

There was, however, one small thing that puzzled him. Robert had never been a three-times-a-night-and-every-night-of-the-week man, even when he was idle. When he was deeply engaged in military activity, as he now was, his s.e.xual appet.i.te was moderate. A girl once or twice in a week, or even less frequently if he was really busy, was enough to quench all desire and even all thought of women. Yet, although he had found a willing girl in the camp the evening after they had arrived, only hours later, when he had taken Merry's hand and kissed it just before they parted for the night, he was suddenly no better off than if he had not relieved himself.

A little logical thought as he was lying on his cot half an hour later presented an explanation. The simple fact that there was an attractive woman near him at all times when he was off duty was a constant reminder and inducement. A little more logical thought presented a solution. Get rid of the woman, and he would be rid of the s.e.xual problem. However, instead of relief, this solution produced a profound depression of Robert's spirit, until he remembered that he had promised Merry not to send her alone to England. He could not, he told himself, go back on his word to her solely to provide himself with a less tempting atmosphere. The immediate lifting of his depression, he a.s.sumed, was the reward for his self-sacrifice. Doing right, he knew, always made one feel good.

It was less easy to explain to himself the uneasiness he felt at the attentions paid to Merry by his friends. Even if she had really been his wife, there would have been nothing to object to in them. In fact, when there was a group laughing and talking in the little house, Robert felt very proud of Merry's interest and intelligence and her ability to make everyone feel comfortable. However, when any single man settled beside her to talk seriously, or stayed behind when Robert himself had to leave, or arrived before he was himself in the house, Robert could feel a very strange sensation in his spine.

If he had been a dog, he thought ruefully as he and Burghersh walked quickly toward the headquarters, his hackles would be up. The simile was embarra.s.sing because it made Robert think of a dog in the manger, snapping at an ox to keep it away from the straw the dog itself did not want. Or did he want it? he wondered. But that revelatory thought had no chance to take hold. At the moment it arrived, he entered the room Sir Arthur was using as an office and was enveloped in instructions pertaining to the march to be made the next day.

Chapter Twelve.

Esmeralda was not totally discouraged by her guess that Robert might fear she would become interested or arouse interest in one of his fellow officers. Even so much as that was a large step forward. When he had rescued her, he would not have believed any man could be interested in her. The very fact that he was thinking about her at all was an achievement, at least so long as he did not start to think in the wrong direction, that she was a nuisance who should be sent away.

That notion brought Esmeralda hurrying to the door to shout for Carlos. Robert had simply accepted her statement that she would be ready to move out with the army the next day, but there was still time, she feared, for him to change his mind. From long experience Esmeralda knew that the best way to escape unwelcome attention was not to be noticed. And the best way to do that was to be out of sight.

Esmeralda's call brought Carlos to the door at once, and again she blessed the twist of fate that had made Robert choose Luisa to carry their baggage. There were countless advantages to having the small Portuguese boy as her manservant. One of these was his youth and small size, which made it possible for him to go almost anywhere without challenge so Esmeralda did not need to bother Robert to obtain pa.s.ses or identification for him.

"Go into the women's area, and ask Mrs. M'Guire to come to me," Esmeralda told him.

During the delay necessary for disembarking Spencer's troops, Esmeralda had had a chance to make inquiries and hire a woman servant. Of the many who had applied, she had chosen Molly M'Guire, a big, strong, fresh-faced Irishwoman who was not new to army service. In fact, M'Guire was Molly's second husband, her first having died in the West Indies of fever. Two of her three children had died there, too, and Molly had left the one surviving little girl with her mother in Ireland when she had been one of those chosen by lot to accompany the men.

Esmeralda had asked her about leaving her child behind, because she had been warned that more than a few of the women increased their husbands' pitiful pay by whoring for the rest of the men or the officers. Molly was good-looking enough to make that a possibility, and she might have wished to be free of the child to be more available. Of course, that did not fit very well with her application to be a servant, but greed might make her think she could manage all three occupations.

"I almost did not put me name in th' lot," she replied in her appealing brogue, "but Oi tho'ght ibout it 'nd decided it were M'Guire who'd need me most. Mam'll take good care o' Katy, 'nd if they're sometimes a wee short 'nd flat i' th' belly, ah weel, it's loike inough we'll be short, too. Oi've niver bin wit th' troops that we did no outrun oor pay 'nd oor commissary carts."

It was a most reasonable answer, and Esmeralda was particularly attracted to Molly's cheerful cynicism bred by useful experience, but it was meeting M'Guire himself that decided the issue. When Esmeralda had presented the problem to Robert, he had asked her to have the husband up and see whether he was willing and capable of being Robert's batman and groom.

"It's best to have a couple, if it can be arranged," he had said. "And I never heard of an Irishman who couldn't handle horses, so that will be all right. Find out with what regiment he's serving if he seems suitable."

Not only was M'Guire willing and capable, but Esmeralda liked him at once and liked even more the obvious good feeling that existed between Molly and her husband. It was clear that M'Guire was years younger than his wife, much less experienced, and not at all the type to look elsewhere if Molly played around. Esmeralda therefore settled matters as soon as she was certain that M'Guire was country Irish, not London slum Irish, and thus that his claim to be "well inuff wi' th' horses" was probably true. He would be responsible for Hermes, Jupiter, Mars, and Apollo.

Nor had there been any trouble about M'Guire's temporary detachment from his regiment. Caitlin Crawfurd did not wish to disoblige a member of Sir Arthur's staff and, making the stipulation that M'Guire should be with his company in time for any action, excused him from all duties except roll call. And since Robert was far more interested in having his horses and weapons well cared for than in the perfection of the s.h.i.+ne on his boots, M'Guire was an adequate servant.

When Molly arrived, Esmeralda gave her the news, which did not seem to be much of a surprise to her. They made quick work of the packing and, far more important, plans for finding each other during the march if it became necessary, and in camp or quarters. Molly suggested that if they pa.s.sed through any town, Esmeralda should try to buy food, specially cured meat, cheese, and rice plus anything else that would not spoil, adding that she knew ways of cooking such ingredients together so that they were truly good eating.

Esmeralda nodded agreement, as much because of what Robert had said about Sir Arthur's carelessness in feeding his ADCs as because she feared the supplies would be inadequate. And since Esmeralda now had money-one hundred beautiful silver cruzados-she intended to shop for more than food as soon as possible. There was no need for a dressmaker for the simple gowns she would need. If she could find attractive fabrics, she could sew them herself with Molly's help. Those hundred cruzados would go a long way, Esmeralda thought. She would send Carlos to buy the food-a poor little orphan boy, driving a mule for the English, should be able to obtain excellent bargains. And accustomed as she was to Indian merchants, Esmeralda herself could drive a mean bargain.

All the while she and Molly were talking and working, Esmeralda prayed that Robert would be kept too busy to come back before time for bed. He would dine with the mess, she was sure, but usually he was free by nine o'clock. If he came back at that time, she could not avoid him. To be absent when he expected to see her would fix his attention on her just as surely as getting in his way when she should not be about.

Esmeralda got her wish, and even a little more, for Robert sent an orderly to tell her that he would not be in until late. This gesture, touching in its consideration for her, also troubled Esmeralda. She did not want Robert to feel any guilt if his duties kept him away. Guilt is a most unpleasant burden, a nagging irritation, and could quickly wipe out any pleasure he derived from her company. The concern followed her into her dreams so that, although she slept well enough, she woke as soon as the first sounds of activity from the camp drifted through the open window, with the same worry in mind.

Thus, she hurried her dressing and ran down to make Robert's tea and cut bread and cheese for his breakfast, working as silently as she could until he woke. A convention had been established between them. Once Robert began to stir, Esmeralda kept her back turned to him until he pulled on his breeches and boots and went out to wash and visit the jakes. When he returned, she allowed him to get well started on his breakfast before she spoke to him, unless he addressed her first. Since Robert did not seem to be in any haste to leave, Esmeralda followed the established practice for a while, but when he held out his cup to be refilled, she a.s.sured him that it was not necessary for him to inform her of his coming and going if it was not convenient.

"I didn't want you to worry," he said, staring at her rather intently.

"I know, and I am very grateful," Esmeralda replied, feeling a trifle puzzled by his steady gaze, "but you must not think of me as gnawing my fingernails to the nub or filling a bucket with tears if you are unable to return to our quarters at your usual time. Of course, if you can send word, I would be glad to know when you are delayed, but if it is inconvenient, do not give it a thought."

Robert lowered his eyes to the piece of cheese he was about to spear. It was considerate of Merry to a.s.sure him that he need not fear she would worry about him, but somehow he wished she had not said it. Not that he wanted her to be fearful, of course, but...

"Is there something wrong with the cheese?" Esmeralda asked. "I can cut some fresh for you."

"What?" Robert started and looked up. "The cheese? No, there's nothing wrong with it." He looked down at it again somberly, suddenly finding it very uninviting. "Except that it is cheese." Then he looked up quickly again, and his voice had a slight edge when he spoke. "No, don't apologize. I know there's nothing else to be had. Are you ready to leave? If so, you would do best at the very head of the baggage train. You won't be smothered in dust there, and I'll know where to find you."

Esmeralda could not understand what had annoyed him and did not dare ask. At least he had given her instructions about the first stage of the march. Since she knew that their objective was the inland town of Leiria, there could be no question of her being ordered aboard s.h.i.+p until they reached another sh.o.r.e point.

Thus all she said was, "Yes, I am ready. Do you know whether there will be any towns along the route? Molly suggested that I buy food, and-"

"Don't you dare wander away from the troops," Robert interrupted. "So far the people seem well affected, but we don't know whether Freire has stirred up any trouble." He stood up abruptly.

"I will not leave the baggage train," Esmeralda a.s.sured him immediately. "I only thought if we pa.s.sed through a town, I could buy what I needed before the wagons got through. Then I could easily catch up to the front of the train because Boa Viagem is so much faster..." She stopped because her voice had begun to shake, and she was afraid Robert would think she was acting like a spoiled child deprived of a chance to shop.

"I suppose you can do that, but have M'Guire with you as a guard," Robert said rather ungraciously. He hesitated and then added harshly, "I do worry about you, you see."

Esmeralda had been so alarmed by his seemingly unprovoked ill temper that his parting words with their sarcastic emphasis took some time to sink in. When they had, she jumped to her feet and ran to the door, but Robert was out of sight. She stood biting her lips, knowing it was impossible to pursue him to explain. That would only add embarra.s.sment to his irritation. But how dreadful that he had misunderstood her. How ungrateful he must think her to be if he believed she could imply that she did not care what happened to him.

One fortunate result of Esmeralda's misery was that it insulated her from the difficulties of that first day's march. Robert had spoken as if she were to leave at once, and in almost trembling haste she washed up and packed the crockery they had used. Nonetheless, it was several hours before the troops were out of the camp and even longer before the long train of baggage mules and ox carts began to follow them. By then, the sun was high and brutally hot.

Accustomed as she was to India's temperatures, Esmeralda was only minimally aware of the heat. Carlos and Luisa were just behind her, and the water flasks were full. She could drink whenever she wanted. Nor did she notice how heavily Boa Viagem was plodding, pulling her hooves one at a time from a road so dry and sandy that she sweated from the effort despite the slow pace. As long as the mare did not stumble, Esmeralda's own unhappy thoughts held her attention.

She saw, without really taking in, the bodies of stragglers propped against their packs or lying limply along the road. They had fallen by the wayside, exhausted by the weight of their unwieldy packs. The intense heat, combined with the labor of marching under so heavy and awkward a burden, seduced the unwise to make frequent use of their canteens, which were soon emptied-and there was no water to be found after they had left Figueira da Foz and the Mondego River. The new men dropped by dozens. A few died, most were picked up and thrown onto the baggage carts where the blazing sun only increased their torment.

Although Esmeralda was not overtly aware of what she saw, the sights and sounds did penetrate some part of her mind, and all along the way the patrolling subalterns acknowledged her presence, sometimes with expressions of surprise and sometimes with shy nods. A few came up and spoke to her. Those addressed her by name and remarked genially on her aplomb, saying one would think she was "an old campaigner". At the time the comments puzzled her. Later she understood it was because she had made no attempt to interfere or to aid the fallen men. She had, of course, seen far worse things on the west coast of India which was partly why the sights had not penetrated her self-absorption. Nevertheless, she might have stopped and tried to help had she not been cautioned against it.

Fortunately Sir Arthur had examined the terrain himself and knew the troops were raw. Thus, the first march he planned was no more than twelve miles to the village of Lavos. The army was ordered to camp in the open nearby, and the senior officers and staff sought quarters in the village. By the time Esmeralda arrived, there was an orderly waiting to tell her that she and Captain Moreton were to have rooms in a farmhouse conveniently close to the building Sir Arthur had chosen.

There was no sign of Robert nor, indeed, of any of the other ADCs, so Esmeralda went directly to their quarters and ordered M'Guire to take Robert's horses to the barn and then help Carlos unload Luisa. Carlos was chattering away in a mixture of Portuguese and English about how good a mule Luisa was. Esmeralda hardly listened. Her mind was ranging the countryside, wondering where Robert was and whether he was so angry that he was deliberately staying away. When M'Guire returned, she forced herself to consider more practical matters. Having carried up the clothes bags and other essentials, he asked whether she wanted the cots brought in, since there was already a bed in the room.

Esmeralda went up, searching for a reason that would sound natural to have at least one cot carried in and, at the same time, hoping there would be an absolutely inescapable reason not to do so. Then she could share the bed with Robert. She could make herself small, pressed against the wall so that he might not at first notice she was there. And then... And then, she admitted, staring blankly at the bed, he would be furious with her and so disgusted that he would probably give up the pretense and quarter himself with the other ADCs until the first opportunity to be rid of her.

At that moment her eyes focused on the bed, and she shuddered. "Bring up both cots," she ordered, "but don't set them up yet. Just put them as far away as you can manage from that nest of six-legged pests. And take the mattress out. Leave it in the corridor or carry it downstairs, but get it out of here."

The shock of disgust did her good, however. She had managed to keep herself reasonably clean in old Pedro's village by insisting that she sleep on clean straw and by bathing frequently, a habit all residents of India established for the sake of the cooling effect. The rooms she had stayed in on the road from Oporto had been the best available, and she had insisted on clean sheets in each place. The little house in Figueira da Foz had been cleaned out for the young men who lodged in it before she arrived. Now, Esmeralda realized, she would be faced with the problem of making her quarters habitable.

Forgetting her personal problems for the moment, Esmeralda went out to discover whether the few shops in the village carried such things as soap and brushes. Once in the stores, she remembered the other things she had intended to buy. Cloth of a sufficiently delicate quality was not available, but there was rice and other dry grain in plenty, dried fruit of various kinds, and other provisions. Clearly the French had not foraged excessively in this area or the inhabitants of Lavos were more clever at hiding things than most. Certainly they were hiding nothing now. Word that the English would pay had apparently preceded them.

However, this information had also raised the expectations of the merchants. Esmeralda's need to get the best price on everything stretched the time she spent in the shops, and in the end she ran into Robert in the street as she was edging her way around a group of men pus.h.i.+ng and jostling to get into a wine shop. His arms were full of bottles, as hers were full of bundles, and he stopped short and glared at her.

"You are incorrigible!" he exclaimed. "Did I or did I not tell you to keep M'Guire with you as a guard?"

"Oh dear, I forgot," Esmeralda admitted guiltily. "But if you had seen the bed in the room and the fleas on the walls-"

"Don't tell me about it." Robert groaned. "You should have seen the look on the Beau's face when we were escorted into 'the finest house' in the village."

"You should have seen the look on mine!" Esmeralda countered. "Anyway, the only thing I could think of was soap and scrubbing brushes. I'm sorry I forgot to take M'Guire along, but the whole town is so small, he would have heard me if I called him from anywhere. And there wasn't any danger. The people are well disposed."

"They should be," Robert replied dryly. "They will make a year's profit on this visit of ours." But he smiled at her with easy good humor as he nodded at the packages she was carrying.

"Not out of me, they didn't," Esmeralda responded with pretended indignation, although she could have wept with relief at seeing the smile. He must have realized, she thought, that he had misunderstood her. "I'm no downy chick for plucking," she added, laughing. "I learned to bargain in Indian bazaars." Then she nodded in turn at the collection of wine bottles he was carrying. "You will be late tonight, I gather?"

"Not unless I'm the lucky boy who will have to ride back to Figueira with the dispatch Sir Arthur is writing. The general officers are invited to dinner and, I imagine, to a planning and scolding session. I'm not sure the Beau will want to have the 'messenger boys' present."

"Scolding?" Esmeralda repeated. "But-"

Just then an altercation broke out among the men around the wine shop, and Robert glanced back over his shoulder. "I'll tell you later," he said. "Get into quarters now, Merry, and stay there. The natives won't make trouble, but these drunken devils may. I'll come when I can."

She hurried away obediently, not afraid at the moment but realizing Robert was right. Sober, not a man in the army would have dreamed of touching her. In fact, most would hardly dare smile at her or speak to her. Her clothing and speech marked her as "officer cla.s.s". However, blind with drink, any one of them might play too rough before he realized who she was. It would be a disaster for Esmeralda to be involved in that kind of trouble. Even if she escaped unhurt, she would be sent away at once.

Molly was already in the room, cleaning. She was startled, almost horrified, when Esmeralda proposed sharing the task. "Ye're no used t' sich work," she exclaimed.

"Well, I certainly was not used to it in the past," Esmeralda admitted. "When I lived in India there were plenty of servants. But I am not so fine anymore. In the village where I was s.h.i.+pwrecked, I scrubbed my own clothes, and I helped in the house. There is too much for you to do alone, Molly, and I would rather help scrub than put up with the fleas. I'll have to find something to wear, though."

She settled on a s.h.i.+rt of Robert's that was already soiled and needed was.h.i.+ng. Since there was nothing else and it was very warm, she just put it on over her pantalets. Molly choked with laughter, and Esmeralda giggled at the sight she knew she must make, however, under the laughter she was strangely stirred by wearing Robert's garment. She soon forgot, though, and became sufficiently absorbed in what she was doing that she lost count of time. Nor did she pay any attention to the sound of footsteps on the stairs. M'Guire had been emptying slops and bringing up fresh water, but he had been warned not to enter the rooms. Molly had just left to put out the last of the dirty buckets.

Thus, Esmeralda straightened up without concern from giving a last wipe to the wall and looked with satisfaction at her work. She did not turn as the door opened but said, "It's odd, but despite the work there is a real pleasure in seeing a room properly put to rights."

Since the only reply she received was a shocked intake of breath, Esmeralda whirled about to confront Robert, who still had his hand on the door and looked paralyzed with surprise. Esmeralda could feel the blood rising in her face. Both of them stood staring, unable to speak or move. Robert swallowed convulsively as Molly's voice came through the open door calling down to M'Guire that when he had emptied the bucket he should set up the cots.

Somehow the combination of Molly's voice and Robert's astonished face recalled to Esmeralda how ridiculous she must look. Although she was mortified, she had very little personal vanity, and the whole thing struck her as extremely funny. Her hands flew up to her mouth, but they could not repress the giggles that shook her. "I am so sorry," she gasped. "Molly wouldn't think to warn you, and I am afraid I forgot the time."

The unnatural color faded from Robert's face, and he grinned. "Shall I go out again?" he asked, but his eyes flicked appreciatively over her legs, bared from the knee down by her unusual attire, before they were tactfully averted.

"No, I will go next door and make myself decent," she replied, still smiling, not at all ill pleased with the flash of admiration she had seen. "Shall I tell Molly to bring in your bags so you can change to regimentals? You will wish to change for dinner if the general officers are invited, I expect."

Robert burst out laughing at a sudden vision of himself in full formal dress escorting Esmeralda in her present costume, then choked. "I beg your pardon," he said, striving desperately for gravity. "I will change if you like, but I am not dining with Sir Arthur tonight. If you will give me the honor of your company, I will dine with you this evening. The staff is excused, as there is not room enough at the table for us and the general officers."

"I know just what you are thinking," Esmeralda remarked, trying to look severe and failing lamentably because she thought it was funny, too, "However, it will not do. We cannot count on being alone with our little joke. If Lord Burghersh or one of the others should come in-"

The mischievous sparkle in Robert's eyes was quenched at once, and he stood away from the door. "Go and get dressed immediately," he said.

Esmeralda fled, embarra.s.sed all over again as soon as the light teasing between them ended. She would have liked a few minutes to think over the implications of Robert's manner from the beginning to the end of the incident, but she did not dare leave him alone with his thoughts. They might, of course, be greatly to her advantage, but they might also lean the other way, emphasizing the embarra.s.sment and discomfort of sharing quarters with a woman with whom he was not genuinely intimate.

Thus, Esmeralda tore off Robert's s.h.i.+rt while she told Molly to go out and see if she could get an adequate dinner cooked for them somewhere, pulled on her one gown, and rushed back-only to find Robert stripped down to his breeches. This time it was Esmeralda's gasp of surprise that drew attention, but when their eyes met, both burst out laughing.

"Oh, I am so sorry," Esmeralda cried. "I thought I had told you not to change. I have sent Molly out to bring in dinner. We will both be more comfortable here, I think, than trying to struggle through the crowds in the town. Shall I go?"

"Not if you don't mind seeing me put on a s.h.i.+rt," Robert replied.

Esmeralda smiled and moved toward a chair near the window. "I hope you do not think me shockingly bold," she said, "but you know, after living in India all my life, I cannot really feel much dismayed by a bare upper body. Really, there is little of the male form with which I am not acquainted. The men working in Papa's go-downs wore hardly anything at all."

"You should not have been in the go-downs," Robert remarked. "I do not wish to speak ill of your father, particularly since he is dead, and even more because I have profited by his peculiarities in that you are very..." He hesitated and then, as if he had not left the sentence unfinished, went on, "But it was most improper. You will need to be more careful in England."

He turned away to rummage in his bag. Esmeralda forgot to reply while her eyes rested on his broad shoulders, then slid down his hard-muscled back to his narrow waist. She had done it before, but only when he was asleep or deeply absorbed in some task. This time he seemed to feel her gaze on him, and he turned back toward her, but in the split second it took Robert to look at her, Esmeralda was staring most innocently out the window.

"I don't think I am likely to be in the same situation in England," she said blandly, and then when he did not answer, she grew nervous and retreated from the personal conversation to what she knew would interest him and put him at ease. "What did you mean when you said Sir Arthur was going to scold his general officers?" she asked.

For the first time in his life, Robert had to exert considerable effort to focus his mind on a military subject. "The march," he said vaguely, thinking that he must be more careful in the future. He kept seeing Merry in those provocative pantalets, damp with sweat, and clinging to her b.u.t.tocks and thighs. With considerable haste, Robert pulled his s.h.i.+rt on and reached for his coat.

"You'll be too warm if you wear your coat," Esmeralda commented innocently, her voice tinged with surprise, for Robert seldom wore more than a s.h.i.+rt during the heat of the day in their own quarters.

Robert wondered irritably whether he should inform her of certain facts of life, but when his eyes met hers and saw the puzzled concern in them, the words froze in his throat.

"What was wrong with the march?" Esmeralda asked.

"Good G.o.d, didn't you notice that about a third of the men fell out along the way?" he retorted.

"I did see a number of men along the road," Esmeralda admitted, "but I am very ignorant of what is usual under these circ.u.mstances."

"Well, the troops are very raw," Robert conceded, "but Sir Arthur felt that the officers were not sufficiently attentive, and he wishes them to know that he was not satisfied with the performance of the men. It did not really matter today and probably will not until we reach Leiria. After that, however, we may meet the French any time, and we cannot have a third of our forces lying along the roadside, complaining of the heat."

"Have you received definite information about where the French are?" she asked.

"No, but that almost certainly means that they are not close," Robert replied soothingly. "There is nothing to fear."

"I am not-" Esmeralda began, but her denial was interrupted by the sound of several pairs of boots on the stairs, which heralded a polite scratch on the door.

"Come in," Robert called, and grinned as he remembered that Merry had warned him they were not likely to be left alone for long.

"I just thought I would let you know that it would be better to keep Mrs. Moreton off the street," Lord Burghersh said immediately after greetings had been exchanged. Then he stared around the room and twisted up his face. "You are a lucky dog, Moreton," he sighed. "You're likely to be the only one who sleeps tonight. The rest of us will be too busy scratching."

The remark was fervently echoed by the others and led naturally enough to jokes about Robert having all sorts of unfair advantages. He responded to the teasing in his usual way, but he was aware of a very odd mixture of feelings. He felt guilty because he now realized why Esmeralda had been wearing that odd costume, she had been cleaning the room. Yet the knowledge that she had done it and made nothing of it, adapting so easily and uncomplainingly to each new situation, gave him a sense of satisfaction. It also aroused in him an uneasy indecisiveness regarding his once firm conviction that following the drum was no life for a woman. It certainly seemed to agree with Merry.

Chapter Thirteen.