Accidentally On Purpose Part 32

"Perfect. He told me he 'wuvved' me."

I smiled, because I thought I was supposed to.

The door opened behind me, but I didn't turn to look at Luke.

"Are you sober enough to drive me home?" Diane asked. She lived a good half hour away, longer when using public transportation as she did earlier, but I think we all would feel better if Luke took her home at this late hour.

"Yeah, I'm good. I didn't have that much."

"Thanks, Di," I said, giving her a hug goodbye.

Luke touched my arm and I jumped.

"I'll be back in an hour."

"Drive carefully," I said, because I thought I was supposed to.

They left and I collapsed onto the couch.

While Luke was gone, I took a long shower, drank a bottle of Gatorade, and ate a baked potato. I was lying in bed in a tee s.h.i.+rt and shorts, staring at the dark ceiling when he came home. I heard him drop his keys on the table by the door, kick off his shoes knowing I would probably pick them up myself later, and then I heard clicks as the lights in the living room went out. Once in the bedroom, I heard the jingle of his belt as he slid out of his jeans, and then I felt the bed s.h.i.+ft as he climbed in beside me. He cuddled up close to me and draped his arm over me.

"Too much too soon?" He whispered.

"No. Maybe. I don't know," I said.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

I sighed. Now was as good a time as any.

I told him about the snake, the suffocating, and how he sometimes made it worse. This was the most candid and open I have been with anyone in a very long time. I didn't exactly bare my soul, but I put enough out there to make me nervous; to feel vulnerable.

"I didn't realize I make you feel worse worse," Luke said and started to pull away, but I grasped his arm and held it where it was.

"It would probably be a good feeling if my past wasn't my past," I said quickly.

"I only know some of it," he said carefully. "I know my part in it."

"I know, but I'm not ready to talk about that. One thing at a time. It was hard enough telling you what I just told you."

"Do you feel any better after getting it off your chest?"

"No. It made it worse," I admitted.

"Let me help you release some of that tension," he whispered and then began nuzzling my neck. His hand worked its way down to my inner thigh, but stopped there. "I won't continue unless you want me to."

My body's natural reactions were winning. When I didn't answer him, Luke asked "Do you want me to continue?"

After a brief hesitation, I answered, my voice barely heard above the pounding in my chest. "Yes."

The word was barely out of my mouth before he was kissing me and sliding his hand up my shorts and quickly finding a spot that automatically made me quiver. For the first time ever, I understood and felt what the song "Like a Virgin" was all about.

At first, I felt apprehensive about getting it on with my kid asleep in his little toddler bed a few feet away, but I quickly got over it.

Luke remembered everything that turned me on, seemed familiar with every part of my body, inside and out. His hands and lips and tongue were everywhere. When he entered me, I had an instant o.r.g.a.s.m, one of many that I had already had. He started out slow, but deep, but the animal inside of him took over and my head was soon slamming into the headboard and he had to keep a hand over my mouth so that my cries of ecstasy wouldn't wake our child. As we climaxed together, I clung tightly to him, wrapped my arms and legs around his body. It took several minutes afterward for me to slowly release him.

"How do you feel now?" He whispered before we drifted off to sleep.

"Much, much better," I sighed and instantly fell into a solid sleep.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

I woke up in bed alone and naked. Lucas was missing from his bed, and I didn't hear anything from the living room. I pushed myself up and out of bed and shuffled into the master bathroom for a shower.

Standing under the hot water, I tried to sort through my feelings. I was feeling so many things at once; I couldn't decide which emotion was bigger than the others. I was embarra.s.sed, elated, angry, sad, giddy yet depressed, and definitely, definitely h.o.r.n.y. I laughed one big "Ha" out loud.

After getting dressed, I stepped into the empty living room just as Luke walked into the apartment, toting a bag from Panera Bread.

"Where's Lucas?" I asked, feeling panic rising.

"With Casey and Emmet. They're taking Owen and Lucas to the zoo."

"Oh," I sighed with relief. "That's nice. Lucas loves No-nen," I smiled at the name my son gave my nephew because he couldn't say Owen.

"I brought breakfast," Luke held up the Panera bag.

"Cranberry orange m.u.f.fin?" I asked with a hopeful expression.

"Of course."

I almost kissed him, but caught myself. I awkwardly patted his arm while he handed me the bag. Then I felt stupid for just patting his arm and cursed under my breath.

"That was an impressive pat on my arm," Luke teased.

"I know. I worked hard on it."

"I can tell. You could teach a cla.s.s on awkward arm pats."

"You're jealous that your arm pats aren't as great as mine," I said as I walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

"I have something for you," Luke said behind me.

"If it's another m.u.f.fin, I may have to pat both both of your arms." of your arms."

"d.a.m.n. I don't have another m.u.f.fin."

"I'm sad."

"I'm sad, too. I really could have used a double arm pat. All I have is this stupid piece of paper." His hand appeared in front of me, holding a check written out to me for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

"What is this?" I asked, reaching out for it. I turned around to give Luke my full attention.

"It's some of the money I owe you," he said.

"I don't want it." I tried to hand it back, but he took a step back. "Luke, you can't afford to give this back to me yet."

"Yes, I can. We've done extremely well, just had a big settlement."

"Yes, you've done well, but..." I sighed and again held the check out to him. "Listen, I strongly suggest you talk to a financial advisor and hire an accountant full time. It may seem like you're good now, but s.h.i.+t happens."

He sighed and reluctantly took the check from me. "I felt really good about paying you back."

"Aww. Do you want me to pat your arm?"

"Maybe later. I want to talk."

"Oh boy. Can I at least have my coffee first?"

"Are you incapable of talking with a cup of coffee?"

"The d.a.m.n stuff dribbles out of my mouth every time I try."

"Maybe it's best to swallow rather than spit," he grinned.

"Are we still talking about coffee?"

"You're successfully avoiding an inevitable conversation."

"You got me," I admitted. "I'm so not ready for that conversation."

"I'm not going to let this one go."

"I know," I said, and bit my bottom lip. "Maybe we can just postpone it."

"I would need a d.a.m.n good reason to postpone it."

Without any longing looks or hesitation, he grabbed my a.s.s with both hands, pressed my body to his and kissed me. His tongue felt so good in my mouth, I kissed back hungrily, trying to taste every ounce of him. He unb.u.t.toned my capris and slipped his hand into my panties and slid a finger into me. I moaned into his mouth, and it didn't take long for me to reach an o.r.g.a.s.m.

Fired up and ready to go, Luke yanked my shorts and panties down and pulled my s.h.i.+rt off. He was out of his pants and boxers in a matter of seconds and before I could brace myself, he had lifted me up and slid into me. It reminded me of another time that I got dirty in a kitchen, but I quickly pushed the thought away.

We ended up on the kitchen floor, ignoring the cold linoleum. Luke slowed his rhythm down as he ran his thumb gently over a scar in my hairline. He kept his eyes locked with mine.

"I really love you," he said, slightly out of breath. "Do you love me?"

"Always," I panted and then groaned when he pressed deeper inside of me.

"Really?" He whispered, unconvinced.

I knew he needed to hear it. I dug my nails into his back during another deep thrust.

"I love you," I said.

He kissed me and slammed into me so hard I slid backward. He held me close and slammed it home again, groaning and digging his fingers into my skin. He slowed down again after a moment.

"You love me, but you don't want me," he said with such sadness, I burst into tears.

Crying, I had the biggest o.r.g.a.s.m of my life as Luke held me tighter than ever and rocked into me and climaxed with me. He wiped at my tears.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he said.

I covered my face, unable to stop the gus.h.i.+ng tears. I had not cried since the day Lucas was born, and even then, it was because my v.a.g.i.n.a felt like it was being torn to pieces. Every painful memory and emotion I had stored up decided this was a good time to be released.

Luke helped me off of the floor and tried to soothe me, but I was inconsolable.

His phone rang in his pants on the floor. He ignored it, even after it went off a second time, choosing to hold me instead, but when my own phone rang in the bedroom, he released me.

"Maybe Lucas is sick or something," he said.

I wiped my face with a couple of paper towels and tried to get a grip. I could hear Luke talking in the other room, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. When he returned, his expression was dark.

"My mom was just rushed to the hospital."

Out of sheer panic, I stopped sobbing. We scrambled around the kitchen to get our clothes on. Luke made a quick trip to the bathroom and then we were out the door.

Chapter Thirty-Nine