Accidentally On Purpose Part 14

It's been a month since I kissed Kyle back that night, and I've been living a TLC song. I spent the majority of my time with Luke and I loved every minute of it, but I secretly couldn't wait to see Kyle. I felt guilty for stepping out on Luke, but I couldn't help myself. Kyle was a drug and I was the addict. Every time I would try to break it off with Kyle, he would somehow convince me not to, and maybe I didn't really want to, or I would have stuck to my guns.

At work, I really tried to stay professional, but when I would find myself alone with Kyle in his office, I couldn't resist his advances. I would come out looking fl.u.s.tered, but my office mates attributed it to Kyle's remaining ability to occasionally be a big d.i.c.k.

At least three times a week, Kyle and I would see each other outside of work. We even started going on real dates - way out of the way, of course, where we were unlikely to run into anyone we knew.

Our biggest obstacles were Jessyca and Luke. Kyle's situation was more complicated than my own. I know we aren't living in the 1500's and this isn't a country that practices arranged marriages, but in essence, that is what it is. Jessyca sat on a fortune, as did Kyle, and both of their families owned or had a big stake in very successful and lucrative businesses. Bringing the two families together made it appear the two businesses were together, or have a big chance of coming together. Somehow that translated into more money for both, and sometimes, as in the case of Kyle's parents, the two businesses actually do merge.

While I work for Sterling Corporation, I don't pretend to understand all of that s.h.i.+t I just told you. I just take Kyle's word for it. The bottom line is that he was expected to marry Jess for those reasons, and until he found another way to appease his dad, Jessyca's dad and a bunch of other people things would remain the same.

I didn't just accept this. It wasn't okay with me. In that fourth week of our new "relations.h.i.+p" it spurned a pretty heated argument.

"So, eventually you will propose." I said rather unkindly.

We were in Baltimore for the day, strolling through the aquarium, one of my favorite places. I had always known that his relations.h.i.+p with Jess was more business than love, but I had asked for more explicit details regarding the situation because I was already growing tired of being sneaky. He had just given me the run down.

"I didn't say that. I said that it is expected of me."

"What happens if you just break up with her?"

"You've asked me that before," he said, looking down at the floor.

"You haven't given me a straight answer."

He hesitated, bit down on his bottom lip like he was thinking.

"My father will disown me and find some reason to fire me."

"Is that all?" I almost laughed. "You'd have to go earn a living like a normal person?"

"It's not just that," he looked at me cautiously.

"What else is there?"

"Jess has possession of...some pretty sensitive information."

"Regarding what?"

"Regarding Sterling Corp and some of its' business a.s.sociates."

"Sounds like a lot of trouble. I hope it's not an Enron situation."

"No, but if the information came to light at the wrong time, a lot of s.h.i.+t will go down that no one is prepared to deal with."

"So, Jess is blackmailing you into staying with her?"

"Not exactly. She doesn't know that I know."

I sighed extra loud. "So much drama. How long do you expect to have to play along?"

"I don't know. I can't give you a time frame. Just know that I'm working on it."

"This is ridiculous," I huffed. "I wish I understood the circ.u.mstances before before I 'committed' to this dysfunctional relations.h.i.+p." I 'committed' to this dysfunctional relations.h.i.+p."

"I gave you an opportunity to back out," he argued.

It was true. That night, after literally sweeping me off of my feet kissing me and whispering sweet things in my ear, he asked while we were having s.e.x on the kitchen table.

"I've been pretty pushy about this," he had said. "If you want to back out, I'll respect that."

Now at the aquarium, I said "You presented that opportunity while we were s.e.xing on the kitchen table! You can't ask me that during an o.r.g.a.s.m!"

A mother with three small children gave me a look so dirty I felt like I should wash my mouth out with soap. I apologized and led Kyle away from the cl.u.s.ter f.u.c.k of families we were in.

"What do you want me to say, Em?" He threw his hands up.

"If you are going to just propose, why are we doing this?"

"I love you. You love me. We want to be together, and I didn't say I was going to propose."

"What we have isn't togetherness togetherness. It's sneakiness," sneakiness," I hissed. I hissed.

"Well, if you break up with Luke, that will be one less person to worry about."

"Why should I break up with him?" I put my hands on my hips. "Am I supposed to just sit at home alone on the nights you're f.u.c.king Jessyca?"

"You have nothing to lose by breaking up with him." He said, and I could hear Kyle the d.i.c.k under his tone.

"I would actually lose a lot. He's a good man and cares about me, which is another reason this is so f.u.c.ked up. He doesn't deserve this."

"Then let him go."

"You're so selfish, Kyle. Maybe I should let you you go." go."

His eyes flashed with anger and he crossed his arms, looking like a real tough guy, but said nothing. He only glared at me.

"And I'm tired of coming to you after being with him, staying up so late. My work - your work - is suffering."

"What do you mean being with him being with him? You're sleeping with him? You told me you weren't."

I bit my bottom lip and watched a young couple a few yards away, holding hands and totally carefree.

"Emmy." He said my name in a way that made me take a startled step back. He was seething with anger and I had not said anything yet.

"I never said I wasn't," I said quietly. "For some stupid reason, you a.s.sumed I wasn't sleeping with him and I didn't correct you."

"So if you love me, why would you sleep with him?" That tone again. It was low, but firm, strong, and so infuriated infuriated.

"He doesn't know that I have another boyfriend, Kyle. So I can see why he thinks it's okay to sleep with his girlfriend. girlfriend."

"But you you know differently." He opened and closed his fists. know differently." He opened and closed his fists.

I never thought that he was going to hit me, but his anger was unsettling nonetheless. My own anger was about to boil over, though.

"You don't have to make me feel any dirtier than I already feel." Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes.

Stupid tears.

"You're still sleeping with Jessyca, I know you are, and I know you love her. I know it's more than 'just business' like you say. Until you are ready to choose choose, don't you dare judge me or tell me who I can and cannot see."

I walked away from him.

"Where are you going?" He said from a few feet behind me.

"I'm going home." I glanced over my shoulder at him. "Alone."

"I'm not ready to leave." He said it as if that gave him some kind of control, which made me angrier.

"Stop following me."

"How are you going to get home?" He didn't ask out of concern. He was taunting me.

I stopped and turned around. He almost ran into me.

"I know you think I'm inferior, Kyle, but I'm not incompetent. d.i.c.k."

He looked surprised, started to speak, but I walked away. This time he didn't follow.

It was well over an hour before my phone started blowing up. I sent each of his calls straight to voicemail. He texted several times, too, but I didn't answer them either.

I was lucky enough to find a train to Philly. I didn't care if Kyle was angry or worried. We have had disagreements in the past, and once at work when he was in a sour mood, I told him off in front of Eliza. It was a work related situation, but it's not something I would have done before we started our affair.

I refused to cry, even though I had a strong urge to do so. I intended to stay angry so that I could break this s.h.i.+t off. I really did have strong feelings for Kyle but I couldn't continue down this path. It wasn't going to end well for me.

In a cab back in Jersey, I finally answered one of thirty-three thirty-three of Kyle's text messages (he called of Kyle's text messages (he called forty-seven forty-seven times, I s.h.i.+t you not. Who times, I s.h.i.+t you not. Who does does that! that! ). ).

I'm in Jerze for now. I don't want to see you or talk to you right now.

Whether or not he answered, I don't know. I turned my phone off. When I got home, I quickly packed a bag and left before Kyle could show up. I couldn't just lock him out since I was stupid enough to give him a key.

Stupid Emmy.

"What is that?" Donya pointed at my duffel bag.

I decided that I needed to get a lot of stuff off of my chest. I turned my phone on long enough to again lie to Luke.

Having phone issues. Will call you soon. Xoxo

"I need to stay here for a night, maybe two." I said, walking past her into her house.

"Is your crazy mom in town already? There should be posters up across the county to warn people she's coming."

"It's not my mom, but if it helps you and the rest of the county to know, she will be here the first week of June."

"That's good to know. What are you doing here?" She wasn't being mean. Donya was always straight forward.

"I have proverbial skeletons in my proverbial closet." I said with a heavy sigh.

We sat down on her couch. I propped my feet up on her coffee table and sighed again.

"I'm sleeping with Kyle."

"Your boss? The d.i.c.k?" She gaped at me. "Shut up!"

"Okay. Reactions like that...not helping."

"I'm sorry, but...d.a.m.n, Emmy!"

"Not helping!"

"Okay, okay. I will try to contain myself through your story." She stared at me expectantly.

"Okay. It all started the Thursday night before that big storm, in December."

"That far back? Shut up!"

I glared at her. She quickly apologized.

"It started that Thursday, at the bar..."

It took me awhile to sort through the sordid details aloud, and even though D didn't yell "shut up" anymore, she still asked a lot of questions.

"Wow." She said, when I had finished.

"I feel like such a dirty wh.o.r.e," I said, unable to keep the tremble out of my voice. I didn't stop myself from crying this time.