The Imposter Part 18

"Ye'll be the death of me, for sure woman. I've never had such a response to a woman, never felt such release. The way that ye respond to me is maddening. It's as if ye are a part of me, knowing just what to do to drive me crazy."

"I quite like driving you to madness, husband," I smiled, admitting the pleasure that I found in giving pleasure to Devon. "Imagine what I'll be able to do with a little practice," I teased, antic.i.p.ating plenty of opportunity for practice.

"Practice makes perfect! And if we must practice, then so be it, la.s.s," Devon laughed. "The only problem is that I have a feeling that all I am going to want tae do is practice, practice, practice. I can't get enough of ye, Kate."

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Devon said as he kissed my cheek and pulled me close against his chest.

"No," I grumbled, not sharing his love of the early morning hours.

"Yes," he whispered breath warm against my neck as he placed gentle kisses across my collarbone. "I've got something that I'm dying tae show ye and we don't have much time before I have tae lead morning drills."

"Mmmm," I moaned in response to his kisses, pressing back against him. "Can't it wait till later?"

"Nope. It's kind of time sensitive," he said, slapping my b.u.m gently and rolling out of bed. "C'mon, ye can crawl back in bed and sleep the day away afterwards."

Reluctantly, I left the coc.o.o.n of blankets and set a tentative foot onto the cold flagstone floor. I brushed the hair back out of my face and pushed up from the bed, gooseb.u.mps covering my skin in the early morning chill that had overtaken our chambers. Devon was clad only in his kilt and I noticed that the cold never seemed to bother him. He was busy starting a fire in the hearth; a measure that I knew was more for my benefit than his own. I walked over to the chest and chose a simple homespun dress, pulling it over my head, and cinching up the laces. I noticed that Devon had turned and was watching me as I dressed.

"Yer sae beautiful, Kate," he said, still knelt before the hearth.

I hardly felt beautiful first thing in the morning, but the way that he looked at me, the intensity in his green eyes made me believe that he genuinely thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He stood from the fire and walked towards me, enclosing me in his arms in an instant. The skin of his chest was so warm beneath my fingers, and I felt the beginnings of arousal building within my own body.

"Good morning, Wife," he said, green eyes intense.

"Good morning, Husband," I said, looking up at him with a slight smile.

I stood on my toes and kissed him like I meant it. His lips were hungry on mine, possessive yet sensitive.

"Are ye sore, sweetheart?" he whispered, looking down at me, concern heavy on his face.

"A little," I admitted, feeling the tenderness between my legs. "But I don't mind," I said, smiling.

"I'm sorry," he said, kissing me on the forehead as he held me tight against him. "I shouldna have let ye take advantage of me the second time," he said jokingly. "I'll give ye a moment alone tae wake up properly. Is there anything that ye might need before I go?"

"No," I said kissing his neck before pulling away from his warmth. "Where are we going?"

"Not far. Meet me in the stables after a few minutes," he said, placing a tender kiss on my lips before slipping quietly from out chamber and closing the door securely behind himself.

I spent a few minutes tidying my appearance and then left the keep in the earliest moments of the morning light. The sun was just beginning to rise up above the mountains and cast an orange glow up in the sky. My breath came in small puffs as I exhaled into the chilly morning air and I gathered the warm security of Devon's plaid more closely around my shoulders.

As I trod down the well worn path to the stables, I noticed the feeling of peace and happiness that had settled within me. Even though I was not a lover of the early morning hours, in fact I couldn't even remember the last time I had been up this early, there was a skip in my step and an unshakeable feeling of happiness deep within me. I had never thought that it would be possible for me to be happy here, but because of Devon, I was in fact very happy and content.

As I approached the stables, I noticed that Devon was standing in the small pasture attached to the barn, booted foot up on the rail of the fence, seemingly oblivious to the cold morning despite the fact that I knew he was completely bare beneath his kilt. He had the strangest expression on his face as he watched me approach, never taking his eyes off of me until I was standing directly in front of him, but on the opposite side of the fence.

Without saying a word, he reached across the waist high fence and took my hand, then slid it between the b.u.t.tons of his s.h.i.+rt so that it was resting on his warm skin, right in the center of his chest.

"Do ye feel that, Kate?" he asked eyes intense as he held my hand against his chest with his own hand. "Do ye feel my heartbeat?"

"Yes," I said cautiously, wondering if he had gone mad. Maybe he was used to getting more sleep than I had allowed him last night.

I felt the quick paced thudding beneath my hand and looked up to see a somewhat forlorn look on Devon's face.

"Ye do that tae me every time that I lay eyes on ye. I canna help myself," he said, glancing away as if trying to find the right words. "I can see ye across a room, or lying in bed asleep, or walking down the path towards me right now and it's as if my heart goes wild. Sometimes I fear that it might beat right out of my chest."

I smiled up as him, touched by the sweetness of his words, hand still encased in his own, resting on his chest.

"And it's no just...just the s.e.x, it's more than that. It's you. I've never had this happen tae me before. It's how my body responds tae ye every time."

I leaned against the fence, hand still hovering over his heart and kissed him.

"I'll take good care of your heart, Devon," I smiled, resting my forehead against his.

"Thank ye," he whispered as he collected himself. "Are ye ready tae see yer surprise?"

"Sure!" I said, releasing him and walking around to meet him at the front door of the stable.

He met me and took my hand, then led me into the stable.

"Now close yer eyes. No peeking!"

"Alright," I responded, walking carefully in the direction that he led me, knowing that he would keep me from tripping over anything.

He raised my hand up and placed it on one of the doors that kept the horses separated into their stables, then came to stand behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Alright, open them," he whispered into my ear, stubble scratching my cheek.

I opened my eyes to see a baby horse so new that its legs were still wobbly as it stood next to its mother. It was covered in a fuzzy coat of dark brown fur and had little puffb.a.l.l.s of fluff for a mane and tail.

"She's yers, la.s.s," Devon said proudly.

"Really?" I exclaimed, fingers still clinging to the wooden stall door. "Can I touch her?"

"Of course. Stella won't mind," he said, referring to the mare that stood pa.s.sively next to her baby, munching nonchalantly on some hay. Devon opened the stall door, and we walked slowly into the stall.

I stretched out my hand to the tiny gray muzzle, and she sniffed me experimentally before surrendering to a sneeze that shook her entire fuzzy body. Devon and I both laughed.

"See, she likes ye already," he said, seeking to a.s.sure me that maybe there was a horse on the planet that could like me. "Stanley's her sire," he added.

No wonder he was so proud of this tiny horse. She was the daughter of his pride and joy and he was giving this prize of a possession to me.

I ran my fingers through the filly's fuzzy hair, and her bright eyes followed me, so trustingly. I loved her right away.

"Thank you, Devon. I love her," I said sincerely.

"Yer welcome, la.s.s. I thought that if ye had yer very own horse, right from the beginning that ye might not be sae scared."

"That's a really sweet thought," I said. I bent down and kissed the filly on her nose, surprised by how gentle and calm she was. "I'll have to think about what to call you," I told her, scratching her behind the ears as her big brown eyes continued to follow me inquisitively. I stood up and hugged Devon again. This was the sweetest gift that I had ever received.

"I'm bound and determined tae make a horseman out of ye still," Devon chuckled into my hair as we left the stable and walked hand and hand out into the early morning suns.h.i.+ne.

Chapter Eighteen.

Denial is a cruel trick that your mind plays on you. My case of denial allowed me to almost forget about Katherine Berks.h.i.+re, almost fuse her together with myself so that in a way, I became her. I was so wrapped up in my happiness with Devon, delighted in the joy and the comfort that his love brought me, that I was almost able to forget, or rather repress the fact that I was living amidst a dangerous web of lies.

A month pa.s.sed and I knew that I could not reside in this bubble of peaceful happiness for much longer. With the dawning of each morning, the knot of unease building in my stomach grew. I tried to lose myself in the daily rhythm of the keep. I delighted in the happiness of my marriage and make love to my husband as often as possible. But still, the knot in my stomach grew and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the truth would force its way to the surface.

As it happened, Collin was the one who brought the truth forward.

Milly found me in the solar, curled comfortably in a chair before the fire, finally getting around to reading Collin's book.

"The Laird would like to speak with ye, mistress," she said, rapping quietly at the door to announce her presence.

There was an instinctual tightening in my stomach that I could not deny as I closed the book and rose from my chair. I knew that I had been discovered.

"Is he in his study?" I asked, exhaling slowly to compose my thoughts. I dreaded entering what I considered to be his lair.

"Yes, and he said not to dally," Milly said, eyes downcast.

I trudged up the stairs and made my way down the dark stone corridor towards Collin's study. The door was ajar, and I knocked quietly before entering, not waiting for his permission to enter the small room. The knot had grown again in the pit of my stomach, and it was a challenge to suppress my nervousness as I stepped into the room and saw Collin sitting behind his ma.s.sive desk.

"Milly said that you wanted to speak with me," I stated, standing rigidly in front of Collin's desk. I refused to let him know that I was nervous. I knew that this would make him feel all the more powerful.

"Aye," he nodded, and set down the papers that he had been reading. His green eyes met mine, and it unnerved me that they were so identical to Devon's eyes. "I received the official Certificate of Marriage from the church today and I need ye tae sign it sae that I can send it along tae yer father. That is if ye are even aware of how tae sign yer name," he said with a demeaning tone.

He doesn't know! I'm still safe.

Relief flooded my senses, shrouded me with a coc.o.o.n of safety. Collin simply needed me to sign a doc.u.ment.

He searched through a stack of papers on the desk and produced a very official looking doc.u.ment, written in calligraphy on fine paper with "Certificate of Marriage" boldly scrolled across the top. He shoved the paper towards me along with a quill and a small blue pot of ink.

My relief evaporated as quickly as it had come.

Signing this will expose me!

I looked up over the top of the paper, and noticed that Collin was ignoring me as usual, back to reading his papers. I was thankful for his rudeness now, afraid that he might notice how badly my hand was shaking as I held the certificate.

"Do ye need help reading it sae ye can tell where to sign?" he asked annoyance heavy in his voice.

"No, I can read," I said quietly as I read the doc.u.ment. I noticed that Devon had already signed the paper and I realized that I had never before seen his signature. It matched him perfectly, masculine and strong, standing out boldly against the stark contrast of the fancy calligraphy.

I reached for the quill and dipped it into the small blue pot of ink. I knew that signing this paper was going to blow my cover as Katherine Berks.h.i.+re. My hand shook as I held the quill, and a drop of ink landed on the paper, marring its perfection.

This paper would be carried directly to Katherine's family and I didn't even know if she had known how to sign her name. If she did in fact know how to write, her parents would recognize immediately that my forgery didn't match their daughter's signature. I felt like I was going to vomit and a cold sweat broke out across my body.

I set the paper down on Collin's desk and brought the quill down, then stopped abruptly. I didn't know if Katherine spelled her name with a "K" or with a "C!" My heart raced as I wondered if she used an alternate spelling like "Kathryn?" Terror ran down my spine and I made the split second decision to sign my own name, the way that I spelled it, and hope that it was right. I signed Katherine and exhaled slowly, not having realized that I was holding my breath.

"Do I sign Berks.h.i.+re or McClain?" I asked Collin, having never before signed a marriage certificate.

"Berks.h.i.+re," he said tersely, rubbing his temple as if even this small interaction with me was giving him a headache.

I dipped the quill into the ink again and added "Berks.h.i.+re" to the doc.u.ment and admittedly, it looked all wrong. I knew that this doc.u.ment, this doc.u.ment that tied me so closely to the man that I loved, would ironically be what exposed me as a fraud. I slid the paper back towards Collin and stood from the chair, knees feeling weak.

"Is there anything else?" I asked trying to remain composed when every muscle fiber in my body wanted to bolt from the room.

"Aye, a letter from yer father came with the messenger today," he said reaching inside of his desk drawer and drawing out a well-worn letter.

The seal had been broken, evidence of Collin trying to exert his power. Collin wanted to be aware of all communications coming into the McClain castle, never knowing what information might be of use against someone at a later date.

"Ye may want tae write him back. Yer family seems worrit about ye and they're wondering why ye have no taken the time tae write before now," he said, eyes studying me intensely, clearly wondering the same thing. "Mayhap ye have been sae taken up with entertaining the needs of my brother that ye havena had the time," he goaded, openly disapproving of the happiness that Devon and I had found in a marriage that he had intended to be an inconvenience.

"I'll do that," I said, ignoring the bait that he was offering. I took the letter, and walked purposefully from the room.

The letter felt like a poison in my hand. I had never thought that mere words had the potential to be so deadly.

I walked directly back to our chambers, closed the door quietly behind me and slid the deadbolt into place. I leaned back against the ma.s.sive wooden door and lifted the seal on the letter, fingers trembling so much that I almost dropped it. I said a small prayer and then forced my eyes down to read the paper, heart hammering in my ears.

"Dearest Catherine," it said.

My heart nearly stopped and my breath came out in a disbelieving shudder. I dropped the letter to the flagstone floor and I crumpled to the floor with it. I had guessed wrong. She spelled Catherine with a "C."

I'm ruined! Exposed. It's over...

It would now be only a matter of weeks before I was exposed as a fraud, exposed as the imposter that I was. The world that I had tentatively built with Devon was coming cras.h.i.+ng down around me. I knew that I could not live under the rouse of an a.s.sumed ident.i.ty forever, but I had hoped to have just a little more time. I allowed myself to fall apart and I cried for both Catherine and myself. I cried for the life that I had lost and I cried for the new life that I had built, knowing that it was built on lies that were about to unravel at the seams.

I cried because I was about to hurt the man that I loved despite having the best of intentions.

I have to tell him.

Chapter Nineteen.

"What!" he exclaimed. "Ye ken about the Kama Sutra?" Shock was evident on his face. His eyes were wide. "Ye know what it is?" he questioned, looking at me in disbelief, mouth hanging open, antic.i.p.ating my reply.

"I've heard of it, I mean... I know what it is about," I said, suddenly embarra.s.sed. "How did you hear of it?" he questioned, eyes inquisitive as he placed the heat back on me.

I rose from the floor and settled myself on his lap in the huge char. I tucked my heels up under my bottom and reached up to ma.s.sage the back of his neck.