What's Left Of Me Part 11

"What?" I whisper. I know what.

I watch in slow motion as he puts his lips to mine in one of the shortest, sweetest, most perfect kisses. My eyes close at the softness of his lips. With my heart pounding and ears about to explode from the burst of applause, I open them when he releases me. We don't say anything. Instead, we turn our attention back to the ice, where I focus on not wanting to kiss him again.

Parker takes me to a little Italian restaurant that I've never heard of. There are only about twenty tables and a small patio out back. Parker asks to be seated outside being it's still warm.

I can hear my stomach growl at the smell of garlic bread as we make our way to the table. Parker comes behind me, pulling out my chair. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't pull out your chair?"

"Do friends pull out their friends' chairs?" I ask in return. Or open doors?

"This friend does."

The patio has two other occupied tables, but we're seated against the railing that separates the patio from the sidewalk. There is some soft music playing through the speakers and I'm thankful for the casualness of the place. The hostess sets down our menus and takes our drink orders.

"Can I see a wine list, please?"

"Of course," the pretty redhead says, grinning at Parker.

"I'll have water for now, please."

I pick up my menu, glancing at it quickly. At this point I'll take anything after smelling that bread. Scanning the menu quickly, I settle on chicken marinara over pasta.

Closing my menu, I set it back on the table and look up at Parker who is still reading over his.

"You already know what you want?" he asks.

"I'm easy to please." Immediately, I regret saying that, but the look on Parker's face when he meets my eyes shows he doesn't regret the words that just left my mouth.

"Well, lucky for you I like to please, so it looks like my day just got better."

c.o.c.ky. I can't help but smirk and roll my eyes at his boldness.

"Parker..."

"Yes?"

"Friends. Remember?"

"Of course. But that doesn't mean I can't work at changing your mind."

The waitress introduces herself, setting down two waters and a small plate of lemons.

Parker tells her we're ready to order before she walks away.

Crossing my arms, I bring them to rest on top of the table and lean on it, looking directly at Parker. "Okay, I think it's about time I learn about you. What are you interested in, Dr. Parker Jackson?" His full name falls from my lips playfully.

"You."

I was not expecting that answer.

I c.o.c.k my head to the side. "I'm serious."

"Me too."

I can tell by his stern expression that he is serious, and suddenly I'm hot. It's annoying how one look can make me feel as if I'm lying on hot coals.

I take a deep sigh before grabbing my water and bringing it to my lips, letting the coldness soothe my tight throat. I feel like the canopy roof we're under is collapsing in on us, making it difficult to breathe. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I slept with this man, for goodness' sake, yet I can't even have a normal conversation with him!

He winks at me and instantly the heat makes its way to my cheeks. He's toying with me, and I know he knows the effect he has on me.

"All joking aside, I love animals, as you already know. I've wanted to be a veterinarian since I was a kid. I grew up on a hobby farm with a lot of horses, so originally I wanted to be a large animal vet. In college, I started doing a lot of volunteering at the Humane Society and changed my mind to small animals. Umm, what else? I like to golf, although I'm not any good. My favorite color is green. I'm into martial arts-mainly Brazilian jiu-jitsu, not Tae Kwan Do. There is a big difference. I'm into cars." He winks before adding, "I like pia coladas and getting lost in the rain." He grins at the last part.

I laugh at his silliness. I love the fact that he's able to make me laugh. It feels as if lately Jean is the only one who can get that out of me.

He starts to laugh with me. "What? I'm not ashamed of my sensitive side."

This causes me to laugh harder. "Okay, Romeo."

Calming our laughter, Parker takes a small sip of his red wine before continuing our conversation. "Tell me more about you."

"Oh, no you don't, buddy. This is supposed to be about you. You already got your interview questions in."

Parker leans back in his chair, interlocking his fingers before bringing his hands behind his head, stretching his body outward. I watch attentively, which causes him to break out in his charming smile, again.

This man knows how to use his smile. It's perfect. His teeth are perfect in color and alignment. It's no wonder he is always grinning. I would too, if I had a smile like his.

"I grew up just outside of West Palm Beach in a town called Jupiter. I have one brother who is younger, but I'm better looking." He offers another wink then adds, "I wasn't planning on coming to Minnesota, but I'm glad I did." I silently swear at the blush that takes over my chest, creeping up my cheeks.

"How old are you?" I ask. I've wondered this since I first met him.

"Twenty-seven."

I nod my head in approval. I'm surprised a twenty-seven year old is able to buy into a company and become partner, especially right after graduating, but I remember what Genna told me about his family having money.

Our food is brought out and we both dig right in. I'm not shy about my eating habits. I'm not the type of girl to order a salad because she's afraid of the guy she's with seeing her eat, and I don't drink anything that says diet. If a guy doesn't like the way you eat, then he was never that into you.

As I take another bite of my chicken, I watch as Parker cuts into his lasagna. It looks so good, filled with layers of cheese.

"You want to try it?" he offers, holding a piece out on his fork to me.

It does look amazing. It's such an intimate gesture, I can't help but nod even though I probably shouldn't.

Since cheese is dripping off the fork, he keeps one hand under it as he brings it to my open mouth. It's hot, but the mixture of spices, cheese, and meat is simply divine.

"That is so good," I say with my eyes closed.

"I don't think I need to eat. I could just sit and watch you eat all night."

My eyes flutter open at his words. Embarra.s.sed, I wipe my mouth with my napkin.

He gives me a smile and I flush again.

"Are we going to address the elephant in the room?" Parker asks between bites.

"What do you mean?"

"Us."

"I thought we did? We agreed we're moving on. It's over and done with. We'll be friends."

"I think you and I both know that's not going to happen."

Setting down my fork, I ask, "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to be honest here. We both know there is something going on between us. We're obviously attracted to one another. What harm is there in getting to know each other more?"

"I'm not sleeping with you again, Parker."

"I didn't ask you to, but I won't object to the idea." He wiggles his eyebrows while giving me the biggest boyish grin.

"How do you know I'm not already seeing someone?"

"Because you wouldn't be here with me right now. If you were seeing someone and told him you were coming here with me, he would be stupid to allow it. Besides, Jason told me you're single after you refused to answer me at the clinic. And you don't come across as the type of girl to sleep with someone if you were already seeing someone else."

Touche.

Of course he asked Jason, and of course Jason would tell him I'm single. I'll have to make a mental note to kick Jason when I get back.

"Look, Parker, you're a nice guy. You're the guy who girls want to take home to Mom and Dad. You're good-looking, you have perfect manners, you're educated and funny. But I have too many things going on in my life right now. I don't have time for a boyfriend, or dating, for that matter. I need to concentrate on school and stuff."

"You think I'm a nice guy?" He moves closer to the table, resting his arms on the table with mine. His left hand barely brushes mine.

"Of course I do."

"What does that make you then? A bad girl?" He leans in even closer, moving almost on top of the table, and whispers, "Because I like bad girls."

"Parker!" Playfully, I swat at the arm closest to mine.

"What?" He moves back into his chair.

"Is s.e.x all you think about?"

"No. But when you're sitting across from me, it's hard not to." I let out a heavy sigh, which makes him lean back further. "Okay. Okay." He chuckles. "All joking aside, Aundrea, I'm not asking for any type of commitment. I'm simply talking about a man and a woman who happen to find each other attractive getting together from time to time outside of work to get to know one another better. Some people might call that dating, but we can call it whatever you want if it makes you feel better about the idea and gets you to say yes."

I know what he's asking of me, and I'm not sure I'm ready to give a part of myself up to him-or anyone, for that matter. Things are already complicated, and adding Parker into the craziness of my so-called life could be disastrous. Scratch that. It will be disastrous.

"I'm sorry, Parker. I can do the friend thing, but not the dating. I ha-"

"I know, you have stuff. You're reading too much into this. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me. I'm just asking for a date, or two, or more. I'll take however many you're willing to allow me because I'm really enjoying myself with you and want to get to know you better. And, if we happen to fall into bed together at the end of the night, so be it. After all, how can you resist this?"

And there he is! c.o.c.ky Parker is back.

I give him a stern look and he breaks into a loud, deep laugh. People around us turn and look in our direction. I hate people staring. I know they're just interested in the commotion at our table, but I can't help the unease that moves through me. I stare blankly at Parker, letting him know I am not finding this funny, but deep down, I have to admit that I like his playfulness.

He throws his hands up in defeat. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! Come on. I'll be good. I'm done. I promise. You just make it so easy, I can't pa.s.s up the opportunity."

Yeah right. I'm learning that when Parker says he'll be good, he really means the opposite. "I'm sure you will be."

We both stay silent, looking blankly at one another.

I take a hard look at Parker. I don't know what I've done to deserve a guy like him in my life, but maybe-just maybe-he's exactly what I need right now.

"Okay. I'll go on a date or two." I use his words and grin across the table at him.

"Seriously?" He sits up taller in his chair, as if surprised by my words. I think I just surprised myself.

I don't know what I am about to get myself into, but I don't see Parker stopping his attempts to ask me out. "On one condition."

He gives me his full attention, and I can tell he means business when he speaks. "Name it."

"No commitment. No strings. No questions. I have a lot going on, and I'm not looking for anything..." I trail off, searching for the right words. I don't know what I'm looking for because, in truth, until this second, I wasn't looking for anything. "Serious. And this"-I point between us-"whatever it may be, doesn't affect our work relations.h.i.+p. I don't like awkwardness, and I don't want people talking about my personal life."

"Wow, that's more than one condition."

"And, I think it's best that people at work don't know. I don't want any confrontation."

I take a calming breath, counting in my head. I don't want to change my mind, but secretly I wish I could sneak away to call Jean. I know what comes with dating: talking, opening up about your dreams and aspirations, and sharing your deepest, darkest secrets. Things I'm not sure I can do.

"You have yourself a deal."

I know I can do this. Date Parker. It's just a few dates, like tonight. Wait, tonight wasn't a date? Will he think it is now?

I tell myself that this will be good for me. Dating will give me something to look forward to. Parker gives me something to look forward to.

Chapter Nine.

I've been dreading this day since my last round of chemo. I'm hooked up to the machine, getting my second round. On top of the Zofran I've been given to help eliminate the nausea, Dr. Olson put in an order for another drug to try during my session today in hopes of not getting as sick as last time. Two hours in and I feel just fine. The nurse keeps coming over to check on me, but I dismiss her each time.

Genna offered to come with me, but I told her I'd be okay going alone, and that I'd call her if I needed anything. I'm confident that doubling-up on anti-nausea medications will prevent me from throwing up during my appointment. I'm thankful that, after my meltdown about driving, Genna and Jason have let up and are allowing me more freedom. It's progress, but I still hate the feeling of needing permission to do stuff.

I pa.s.s the time talking with my parents on the phone and texting with Jean. My mom tells me that they are coming to see me in a few weeks. They're trying to rearrange their work schedules so they can take a week instead of just coming for the weekend. They haven't been here since they helped me move, but they make sure to call me all the time.

Jean: What are you doing next Sat.u.r.day?