The Butterfly Effect Part 4

"No, I decided to hang around here. Not much back home to go to, except my roommates parents' house, and I just wasn't feeling it."

"Oh, I get it." He says. "Well, I should go. You were really great though. I liked watching you. That sounds a lot creepier than I meant it," he rambles on.

I giggle. "It's fine. Thanks, though. I'm just a little embarra.s.sed you were watching me."

"Aren't you used to dancing in front of people?"

"I am, but not you. You're different. Anyway, I should go," I say.

"Okay, see you around." He leaves.

Moments later, after I shower, I notice some papers he must have dropped on his way out. I bend down and gather them into my hands. This is the perfect excuse to visit him. I make the brisk walk to his apartment.

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door. Swinging the door open, Nathan's eyes greet mine. "You dropped these on your way out," I say, handing him the papers he left behind.

He opens the door wider and I step inside, and there's a hunger in his eyes. Shutting the door, I lean against it. "If you don't at least kiss me right now, I'm going to die," I breathe out.

The papers instantly drop onto the floor; he doesn't even care where they land. Slowly, he steps closer to me. I shake my coat off and drop it wherever it lands. I can see his chest rising and falling with antic.i.p.ation. My doe eyes capture his and my heart is beating so fast I think it might burst out of my chest. I'll just hand it to him, and he can crush it, because this can't end any way but badly. In this moment, I don't care.

I can only think about him placing his lips on mine. Taking my face in his hand, his lips inch forward and our eyes continue to be locked in a gaze. He's holding mine captive. Finally, his lips caress over mine, and it's better than I ever imagined. The earth s.h.i.+fts underneath me and I feel dizzy with the potential of pa.s.sing out. My knees go weak, but Nathan holds me steady. He's the one. He's the one. I'm meant to be with. Pressing his tongue forward while cupping my face, I let him in. It's a tangle, our tongues exploring the other. It's not slow or fast, but a perfect pace to make it last. I reach my arms around his waist and press myself flush against him; I can feel the bulge that he's sporting.

Continuing to kiss me, he works his hands over my body, until his hands reach the curve of my a.s.s and he presses me closer to him, as if he can possibly get any closer. He's causing me to come completely undone.

Nathan hands move along my body, causing me to stop breathing. I fear if I breathe he might break the kiss and tell me how stupid this was. If anything feels right, it's him kissing me, feeling my body against his.

The kiss is better than I ever imagined it. I don't regret coming here for one second. I was coming here a determined girl on a mission, to get kissed by this gorgeous man, too gorgeous for words even. Slowly, my hands reach for the hem of his tee; I just want to feel his abs.

Before I can get a feel, he cups my face and breaks from the kiss and rests his forehead on mine. Heavy breathing ensues. I inhale him in. "Don't stop," I beg, my eyes meeting his.

"I don't want to." His eyes are full of torment, going back and forth, deciding if we should continue or not.

"Then don't," I say, my eyes pleading, my throat suddenly feeling dry, my heart beating wildly inside my chest.

His lips find mine again, his hands cupping my face as he starts to walk backward. Turning, we end up in the living room, on his leather couch. He sits as I straddle him. I don't need to have s.e.x with him. Right now, making out is enough, even though his erection is saying otherwise as he presses against me.

Nathan breaks from the kiss and grips my arms. "We shouldn't be doing this," he says, his eyes searching mine.

"Why the h.e.l.l not? I'm over the age and I like you, and I think you like me, too," I tell him, as a matter of fact.

"I do. I like you a lot. Probably a little too much. Us doing this, it's not against the rules of the school, but what we are doing is frowned upon. If people find out, they'll look at you and me differently. It's worse if we were to get in a relations.h.i.+p and it ends badly, not saying that it would. But there is a possibility that this thing between us could blow up in our faces."

"And you think I'm just some childish girl infatuated with her professor because you are in the authority position? Well, I'm capable of figuring out what I want, and I've wanted you for months, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Over the last few months, we've worked closely together, and I've gotten to know you; and you me. Still, I want this. You are what I want. I'm not doing it for a grade or anything of that nature. I would never ask that of you, and that's just wrong any way."

His breathing kicks up. "I never said you were a childish girl. I'm only saying once the boundaries are crossed, there is no going back. I've had this feeling since we met, so I'm leaving this up to you. So you either walk out that door right now or there's no going back."

"I'm not going anywhere, Nathan. This is what I want. You are what I want." I smile, cupping his face.

"Okay then. We just need to keep this on the down low, for the time being. Until we figure this out. So you can't tell your friends, and I prefer you not even tell your roommate, just for now. We can figure out a way to get you over here without anyone seeing."

"Okay, now shut up and kiss me," I tell him.

He kisses me with force and greed. I love every second of it. He is unlike anyone I have ever met. He's a man of few words, so the words he spoke were truly from his heart. This is no longer an infatuation, something just clicks between us.

After some intense making out, Nathan pulls away from me again. "G.o.d, you're so beautiful and I want to make love to you, Riley," he whispers.

Oh my G.o.d. Is this really happening? I swallow a hard lump. I want this, too, as much as he does. But am I ready for this? There is no one I'd rather take my virginity than him. Handing it over to some random college guy just doesn't sound like something I'd enjoy; especially if they are the bragging type. At least I know Nathan wouldn't brag about it. h.e.l.l, he might freak out when I do tell him, and I need to tell him.

He lays me down against the cool leather couch; he towers over me, positioning himself between my legs. The antic.i.p.ation grows in my belly. My nerves are in overdrive and every cell in my body comes alive. He leans his head into my neck, kissing it, as his hands work under the hem of my T-s.h.i.+rt. His hand grazes my skin, causing it to go aflame against his touch. Our lips meet again and I can't get enough of him.

I have to tell him now, before this goes too much farther. Pulling my head back, I place my hand on his chest, and his eyes meet mine. "There is something I need to tell you," I say.

He sits up on his knees. "What it is?" He's breathless.

"Gosh, it's so silly," I say nervously.

"Riley, just come out with it," he instructs, placing his hand on his thigh.

I rush the words out. "I'm still a virgin." I close my eyes as I brace for his reaction.

"Jesus Christ, Riley," he says. "Why are you still a virgin?"

"Why not? I'm not the kind of girl to lose it to anyone. I was waiting for the right person. I think you are the right person. The boys my age just want one thing, and I need something more meaningful."

He runs his hand through his unruly brown hair. "You're a virgin, Riley. This is serious. Well, we are definitely not doing it tonight. I want to do it right, the right way so we aren't rus.h.i.+ng into it. Let me at least wine and dine you first. This needs to be done the right way." He smiles.

I grin, huge. How is this even possible? He wants to make it special. It makes me appreciate it, and him. He leans down, brus.h.i.+ng his lips with mine. His hand works it's way under my s.h.i.+rt, but he's still being respectful not to touch any off limit areas, for now, even though I want him to touch every inch of me. I want to be covered in him. My body yearns for his. He settles in between my legs again, his body flush against mine. I can feel his impeccable muscles under his s.h.i.+rt, and his biceps bulge out of his s.h.i.+rt sleeves. I never realized how huge he is until now.

"G.o.d, where did I find you?" he whispers, rubbing his nose over mine.

"In your cla.s.sroom," I say, giggling.

He chuckles. "I think we need to cut this out for the night, before I end up with blue b.a.l.l.s," he says, struggling to sit back up.

I try to stifle the giggles. "I should probably go so you can take a cold shower." I grin. "I think I need one, too," I admit.

"Want to come over tomorrow evening?" he asks. "I can cook you dinner, you know wine and dine you," he teases.

He should smile more often.

"Of course. What time?"

"Is eight good for you?"

I nod, and then stand to go. He holds my hand and kisses it while he walks me to the door. Before opening the door, he pa.s.sionately kisses me, his tongue invading my mouth like he can't get enough. Smiling against his lips, I break away, giggling and feeling like a school girl. He opens up the door, and I wave goodbye as he watches me making my way across the street.

Inside, I close the door behind, and my emotions are running on high as I replay what just happened between us and what is about to happen. This is what I want, yet it feels like I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream. This is not real life. I hate to even shower, I'd be was.h.i.+ng him off my skin, his touch that burned against my body, but I can only hope for a repeat tomorrow night. And I may need all night just to prepare. I need to shave in all the areas, deep condition my hair, paint my nails and that's just the half of it.

After getting my shower and beautifying myself, I turn my back to the mirror. Looking over my shoulder, I look at the edged tattoo of a b.u.t.terfly on the back of my shoulder. The faint color is coming through. And I think about how awesome it will look as our relations.h.i.+p progresses. Smiling, I lay down in bed, and I still feel like I'm running on a high. I'm going to call it the Nathan high. My heart is still beating wildly in my chest, and I feel like I could run a marathon. Guess I won't be getting any sleep after all.

I haven't heard from Bea since she left, but she hasn't been gone long. I hope she at least made it home okay. Thoughts of my best friend consume my brain, while Nathan still sneaks up every now and then. Eventually, everything just sort of mingles together to send me into a dream-like state of consciousness.

Last night was a toss and turn kind of night. Not because I was thinking about Nathan, but because I have this unnerving feeling like something is off about all of this. Yet, I can't pinpoint what it is. I try to shove those feelings deep down and try to focus on tonight, my dinner date with Nathan. I hope he is making something good, because I've been starving myself all day. My nerves are shot and it's making my appet.i.te disappear.

Even though I truly wanted Nathan to make the first move, I don't regret going to his place and wanting him to kiss me, because it was worth it. It's what I needed, what I craved and the attraction is mutual. The b.u.t.terflies dance in my belly. This is the night.

Two hours before our date, I shower once more, trying to calm my nerves. Blow drying my hair, I feel my stomach settle as I focus on the task at hand. I leave my face bare except for some lip gloss and mascara to thicken my eyelashes. Without realizing it, I start to hum to a happy tune and a smile has graced my face. Tonight is going to be amazing.

NATHAN.

It's almost time for Riley to come over, and the day before floods through my mind. She's already caused me to come undone, and after kissing her, I know there is no going back, no taking back, and no life without her in it. I've spent most of the day cleaning my place, was.h.i.+ng my bed sheets and getting everything in order. Her first time deserves to be special, and then I can do all the dirty things I want after. A smile creeps up on my face.

I finish making my bed then scatter rose petals on it that I bought at the store earlier. I also bought a centerpiece for the dining room table. I set some tea light candles around the bedroom, but save lighting them for later. I make sure to keep Felix out of the room by shutting the door behind me.

A knock on the door brings me back to the present, as I rush to answer it. She smiles when she sees me, and I can't help but smile back, reaching for her hand and bringing her inside. Shutting the door behind us, I immediately bring her forward, cup her face with one hand, and kiss her. It's only been roughly twenty-four hours since she was here last, but I need her to feel what I feel. It's clearly reciprocated in the kiss as my tongue darts into her mouth. I don't care what she is wearing; I only care about how she's feeling. If I don't pull away within the next second, dinner is going to have to wait.

I pull my lips away from hers. Yeah, she is addicting to say the least. "Hi," I say smiling.

"Hi." Her eyes flutter open then she smiles back. "Is this a dream, because it feels like it?"

"G.o.d, I hope not," I confess.

I take her hand in mine, leading us to the kitchen. "I hope you're hungry."

"I am," she says with a twinkle in her eye.

I lift the lid of the crockpot and stir the meatb.a.l.l.s, as she leans up against the counter, watching me. I feel so drawn to her; the aura that surrounds her is serene.

"You like spaghetti and meatb.a.l.l.s? The meatb.a.l.l.s are homemade."

"Mmm, it smells good. It's my favorite, actually."

"Great. Can I offer you wine to drink? You're twenty-one right?"

"Yes, I am. That sounds good."

I don't think either of us has stopped smiling since she arrived. It's so cheesy, I know.

Grabbing a red wine from my rack, I grab two gla.s.ses and pour us each a gla.s.s and pa.s.s her one. "Well, dinner is almost ready. Are you missing your BFF yet? You here all alone without her."

"That girl can hold her own, let me tell you. She's a free spirit. Yeah, I miss her already. But you are making my decision to stay behind a lot better."

"I'm glad I could be of service." I lean in to kiss her red wine lips. "I. Can't. Believe. You. Are. Real," I say in between kisses.

Grabbing two plates from the cupboard, I get dinner together, refilling our gla.s.ses, and we sit at the dining room table.

RILEY.

"The flowers are gorgeous. I never pegged you for a flower guy," I tell him in between bites.

"There's a first time for everything," he says.

I nod in agreement. This just doesn't feel real, all of this. I wish I could tell him my secret, but I know that is against the rules, until we get married if we get married.

"Okay, I'm just going to get this out of the way. I'm going to be straight up and tell you that I'm nervous. All of this makes me nervous. I've never been in a relations.h.i.+p before. I mean, I've been on dates and such, but never in a serious relations.h.i.+p. So this is all new for me."

Nathan reels his head back and blinks at me a few times. "Never?"

I shake my head. "Never."

"Okay. I'm kind of glad. The thought of another man touching you drives me mad, anyway."

We both laugh and my cheeks flush.

"There is nothing to be nervous about. I promise." He reaches his hand across the table and rubs mine.

"Thank you for making dinner. It's delicious," I tell him.

He takes our plates to the kitchen and rinses them off then puts them in the dish washer. I help put the rest of dinner away, and Felix rubs around my ankle. I bend down to pet him. He's so cute, an orange tabby cat. I stand back up, and Nathan is smiling at me. He brings me in for a kiss "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" I ask.

"No, go right ahead. It's up the stairs and to the left. Actually, I'll meet you up there, okay?"

I smile. "Okay."

I take the stairs, one by one, and the closer I get the more nervous I get. Inside, I do my business and look in the mirror. You can do this, Riley. This is it. He's the one. I take several deeps breaths, leave my handbag on the counter sink and exit the room, finding Nathan waiting for me, leaning up against the opposite wall.

"Hey," he whispers when he sees me.

"Hey," I reply, smiling.

He takes my hand, his eyes on me as we walk down the hall to his room. Upon entering, he pushes the door open and there's a soft glow, with lit candles everywhere and rose petals on the bed, and my breath catches.

"You didn't have to do all this," I say in amazement.

He turns to face me. "Yes, I did. This is your first time, Riley. Tonight, I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to claim your body and make you mine."

His comment causes me to stop breathing. I never thought about how my first time would be. I was always concerned with whom it would be with, and nothing else mattered. But him taking the time to make this special for me makes me breathless.

Closing the door behind us, my nerves still remain, yet the antic.i.p.ation is gnawing at me. The thought of him claiming me as his, sets my soul on fire. I want to be his. His only.

A soft glow surrounds him as he comes face to face with me, his eyes full of desire and hooded. He comes forward to kiss me, and my knees go weak. All my senses feel heightened. When he kisses me, I invite his tongue inside, and we both tangle.