Torn: Crushed Part 13

He bit my neck before sucking on it, hard. I was thras.h.i.+ng and shrieking from the pain and pleasure it brought.

"You f.u.c.king bit me!" No one had ever bitten me, not like that, and I was confused at the amazing response my body made, making me more wanton than I had been seconds before.

"I'm going to leave a hickey every time you lie to me."

My body instantly froze. "A hickey? You better not, or I'll leave one on you, too!" Of course he knew. He had known all along. It was his thing each and every time he had hollered at me for some casual s.e.x, always asking if I was on the pill. So, if he already knew, why ask?

"I don't care." He chuckled.

His response baffled me because the old Brody would have probably made me go take a long f.u.c.king hike.

"Yeah, right. You're full of it. We both know you'd flip if I gave you one."

His arms tightened around me before his c.o.c.k reminded my p.u.s.s.y that it was waiting for my permission to be ravaged by his hungry member, and only then did he decide to answer my threat. "If anyone asks, I'll just say it's from you. Easy."

"Now you're just being crazy."

"Don't care. Maybe I am, but so f.u.c.king what? Maybe it's time people know what you and I have been up to for years." Though he delivered the words in his typical lazy tone, I knew he meant them.

I was about to argue all the points of why he was wrong, and I was ready to go down to f.u.c.ked up memory lane before he decided to beat me to it by asking another question.

"I asked about the pill because I don't want to keep pulling out. I want to nut inside of you. Is that okay?"

I should have been appalled, yet the idea of him expanding and exploding inside of me made me a little heady and faint. f.u.c.k. Yeah, f.u.c.k. Of course, I really should stop thinking about f.u.c.k, f.u.c.king, or anything f.u.c.k related at this point since it was messing with my judgment and common sense. Brody was the past, not to mention in love with the newly minted bride Lindsey.

Sigh. The very thought of my friend and how in love he was with her dampened my mood and everything else that came with it. It also revitalized my mind, sealing my purpose once more that I needed to move on from him.

"No. Last night's s.e.x was the last. After the date, I'm done with you. That's it."

He stilled, taking time to respond to my words, and when he did, it saddened me. "I won't back off, not until I know you're with someone."

Brody was pus.h.i.+ng himself and the idea of us to a point where I felt as if he was suffocating me. After all, the incident with Rob and me coming to terms with the rape and how I had somehow liked it was still fresh in my mind. How could I grasp something like that, something so vile that it made me vomit, yet I would get flashes of myself moaning as Rob f.u.c.ked me hard? Rob was right; I had been begging for it. In my messed up mind, how could I fathom dealing with that on top of what Brody was offering me?

"What if I tell you that I like Carter?" I threw the gauntlet, bracing for the imminent backlash. There was no doubt there would be h.e.l.l to pay for my insensitive comment, but I had to resort to something, or Brody would bulldoze his way into my life.

It wasn't necessarily lying, I thought. Come to think of it, I did like Carter in every sense of the word. He had an amiable personality, and after getting to know him more in Athens, I was glad our friends.h.i.+p had blossomed into something more meaningful. So, in some ways, it wasn't a white lie; it depended on how the counterpart perceived it, which wasn't difficult to decipher given how strongly he had reacted to me staying in Carter's bedroom.

Therefore, his doom and gloom didn't come as a surprise. Also just as I expected, Brody released me as if he had just discovered I had cholera.

I still had my back against him, so I wasn't sure what was going on with him, but from the sounds he was making, he felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode.

"Brody?" I croaked out meekly, knowing I had crossed the line with him, but it couldn't be helped. He was asking for something I couldn't give him.

Instead of responding to me, I felt his body s.h.i.+ft before I heard the shuffle of the sheets and him sliding off the bed. Only then did I choose to turn my body to look at him, and the moment I did, I felt my heart break from the stone-like expression that greeted my eyes.

"Where do you think you're going? We're in the middle of a discussion," I huffed out, perplexed at his harshness towards me by choosing to ignore me. Then, if I wasn't shocked enough, he immediately got dressed with him barely b.u.t.toning his pants before he walked out of the room.

Maybe it was low blow to throw Carter's name in the midst of this, given that the man had been kind enough to let me use his place while he was in training in Brazil, and there I was, stretching my welcome by using his name to make his best friend think I had my sights set on the well-known stud.

In a most tiresome manner, I slid out of bed, pondering what I should do. Should I seek him out and apologize or get on with my life just as I had planned, with Brody hating me from a distance? I wasn't sure what I wanted from him. Apart from wanting to have a meaningful life instead of pining for this unrequited love, I knew I didn't want a distorted relations.h.i.+p with him.

Plucking his abandoned s.h.i.+rt from the floor, I hastily dressed myself in it, deeply inhaling his amazing, familiar scent while doing so.

"If this was any other man..." I muttered to myself, knowing full well that I wasn't going to intentionally hurt him and not apologize about it. I might not admit to the falseness of my insinuations, but I could at least say I was in the wrong for ever uttering some s.h.i.+tty stuff to him.

I left Carter's room and paved my way across the hall to Brody's bedroom. If he wasn't in his room, he would most likely be in the kitchen, making coffee, and if he wasn't there ... Well, I supposed my apology could wait until whenever I encountered him next, which I was almost sure wasn't far away.

Upon reaching his bedroom, I didn't even give the courtesy of knocking. I simply had the b.a.l.l.s to barge inside in an aggressive manner, ready to continue our argument. However, as I charged in his room, I found him sitting on his bed with his soles planted on the floor, elbows sitting on each of his thighs, and still bearing the sour, a.s.shole face he had left me with minutes ago, and it took some of the wind out of my sails, dissipating my anger a bit. Much to my dismay, he only stared at me, waiting for me to say something, as if I was the last person he wanted to see.

"Listen..." I started, licking my lips while I pondered the next word to say as I took in his blatant dislike of me. "About what I said earlier about Carter, I'm sorry for that."

He threw me a blank face. "It's already forgotten. Anything else? 'Cause I have somewhere to go."

Well, that was quick.

"I thought-I thought you were taking me out on a date." It wasn't as though I was fis.h.i.+ng for another invitation; it was merely out of curiosity because his swift actions were boggling my mind. Though I didn't want it to bother me, it was hard not to. I cared too much.

"I changed my mind."

"Where are you going? Are you taking someone else out now because I p.i.s.sed you off about Carter; is that it?" It was a common theme to people who didn't take rejection or compet.i.tion lightly. They went out there again in the blink of an eye to catch someone who would supply some nourishment to their depleted ego. Heck, it was my strategy time and time again after he would cast me aside once he didn't need me. I had to admit that it was bizarre to see the situation reversed for a change. In a f.u.c.ked up way, it was kind of refres.h.i.+ng. Again, in the most f.u.c.ked up of ways.

The mere mention of Carter's name was a dead giveaway on how he hated me saying his best friend's name. It was twisted, I knew, but the dark side of me liked seeing him react in a jealous way to Carter, because it was a first coming from him. It was satisfying to serve him the same dish he had served me all these years.

"I'm done talking, Amber," he said in a dismissive manner, insinuating I leave his room.

Anyone who knew Brody knew him to be a well-liked person. He always had a great smile on hand, and he had a way of making someone feel instantly comfortable in his presence, even if you had just met, so this reaction-the jerk att.i.tude and all that entailed-was a different part to him, one I had never gotten the chance to see, since it was reserved for people he was pa.s.sionate for. Apparently, I had finally managed to score a spot on his romantic agenda after years of waiting.

This entire situation was as maddening as it was sad. I was sad for him, for me, for the both of us wanting the same thing at different times. Regardless, my love for him had brought me here, and there was no going back.

Although I couldn't deny seeing him torn because of me made me feel all sorts of emotions, one emotion stood out-the weird thing they called attachment. Yes, whatever emotions he had, I was attached to them. Whatever he was going through, as much as it pained me to admit it, I was feeling it, as well. It was a dreadful position to be in, but that was how it was with him, and it seemed like it would remain that way.

Taking a few steps towards him, I made a quivering smile, quite unsure about everything. "Please don't be mad. I said I was sorry-"

"I'm not mad." He barely glanced in my direction. Instead, he perused the floor with rapt attention.

A great liar, he definitely wasn't.

"You are. You know you are," I insisted, standing my ground as I slowly approached his side before finally having the will to sit next to him on the bed. "You look at me differently when you are," I finished saying, my heart thudding madly against my chest.

"I said I'm not, so can you please drop the subject now?" His eyes remained glued to the floor, uncaring about my efforts in trying to reach out to him.

Well, I would on one condition. "Am I forgiven?"

"If you move your things from Carter's room to mine, I just might."

Did he just say that without even looking at me? Was he totally serious? Because if he was ... well, what the f.u.c.k? He was playing a whole different game here. If he wasn't rattling my cage before, he was after this new development. This was a game changer.

I wasn't sure how to respond to him as my hand rubbed my chest to try to calm myself down. This was a new Brody, and he was freaking me the f.u.c.k out.

"I want you here until Trista gets back." His eyes finally found mine, searing me whole. "You've been very vocal about not wanting to be with me ... Maybe we can use this time to come to terms with our past and move on from each other once time's up."

Well, f.u.c.k. Was that an invitation to have one last fling before we sorted ourselves out and parted ways as amicably as possible? A side of me thought it logical, but another deemed it tragic. However, the hopelessly in love part of me considered it to be one last rendezvous before severing our bond-though a f.u.c.ked up one, it was a bond all the same.

"All right..." I nervously said. "I just hope this doesn't end in a disaster."

"I hardly think you'd see it that way, but either way, it will be for me."

I wasn't sure how to take his words, so I didn't find it necessary to comment. Instead, I veered towards a different subject, one he had chosen to ignore before.

"You said you were going somewhere. Where is that, exactly?

His beautiful smile took me aback, all the while momentarily blinding me from thinking and breathing before he daringly placed a light kiss on my lips.

"This is where I want to be ... kissing you."

I was screwed, and I d.a.m.n well knew it.

Chapter Twenty-Four.

After that sweat-inducing line he had thrown me ... Well, it took him less than sixty seconds to have my body underneath him and another second to have me scream his name in pleasure.

I remembered thinking that, whatever happened from there until the end, I knew I had done it with my eyes open. Whatever decisions I made that day, I shouldn't regret them, because I knew what I had signed up for.

Therefore, after our quick hump session, I strolled into the bathroom to tidy myself up-the man had a way of making my hair atrociously messy while leaving such appalling red marks on my neck from his bites and heavy sucking. From the outside, it might look like I was an abuse victim, yet I wasn't. In fact, I never had such satisfying s.e.x, so much so that I didn't want to think about how it made me feel complete in every sense of the word. It was a troubling thought since this would all be gone in less than a week.

I supposed his random proposition made sense because Carter wasn't here, and since he and I had already done the dirty last night, not to mention with our palpable chemistry, it wasn't a hard decision to make.

After sprucing myself up into a glam-less state with my less shambled state of a hair, I left the bathroom to be greeted with Brody rolling in my luggage.

Stopping in my tracks, I raised my brow at him. "Well, look at you. Already hard at work, I see."

He sure wasn't one to waste a precious second. Who knew the laid back guy had it in him? I sure as h.e.l.l hadn't. But, heck, like I had thought before, this wasn't a transformed version of him. No, this was a side of him that I wasn't accustomed to, because it had always been granted to another person. Now that the person in question was happily married to the man she loved, the spot was open, and it seemed he didn't want to waste any time in replacing Lindsey. I supposed, in his mind, I was the best candidate. It was cruel to consider such thoughts; however, it was how I felt, so there would be no point in even denying it to myself, even if the truth stung.

Squas.h.i.+ng my depressing thoughts, I turned back to bed, hoping my mind would be too distracted to continue thinking that way.

After situating my stuff, Brody then proceeded to seek my side of the bed, almost wedging himself on the edge of the mattress just so he could place his warm body against mine.

"Wanna go grab something to eat?" he asked, murmuring against my ear.

His magic worked. Of course it did. As usual. The only problem I had was wondering if he was referencing food or something else entirely. If his tone was anything to go by, I could swear he was offering me something else that was not remotely food related.

"We're talking about food here, right?" I had to double-check, hiding back a smile.

He gave a hearty laugh before kissing the side of my neck. "Yes, but I could eat you, too, if you like. Food can wait; food can definitely wait."

How convincing he was, but if we kept going at this speed, we would be sick of each other in no time; thus, opting for the latter wasn't a viable feat.

"Well, I can certainly do with some coffee and b.u.t.tered toast right about now," I finally said, full of longing, despite knowing it was for a greater good, mentally and s.e.xually speaking.

"You sure?" he asked, and all the while, his tongue teased my earlobe. " 'Cause I'd rather have you for my first meal of the day."

Oh, geez. Did he have any idea how hard it was to resist him when he was being so amorous? Alas, I had made up my mind about the subject.

"You know I love how convincing you can be, but let's slow down a little, shall we? We can start by having coffee and maybe a conversation." I didn't want to set a serious tone so suddenly, yet I felt as though he and I needed to communicate in regards to ground rules.

His tongue teasing stopped before he resorted to kissing my neck. "All right." He kissed my skin again. "Coffee and conversation it is, then."

It couldn't be helped; I had to laugh. It was obvious how much it took him to say those words, and I appreciated it.

"Aww, you're the best part-time s.e.x fiend ever."

He snorted the got to his feet to go downstairs.

When I rolled to my other side to look at him, he bestowed the s.e.xiest of smiles on me. "Remember your words well, pretty lady. Someday, you're going to miss this part-timer, and then you'll change your mind about the whole part-time thing and upgrade me to a full-time position." Then, with a quick kiss on my forehead, he left me to simmer in my own thoughts.

Still staring at the door minutes after he had taken his temporarily leave towards the kitchen, I wondered why my life had been going on a fast lane as of late. I mean, it was only last night I had received a text from Rob and all the ugliness that came along with him had resurfaced with a vengeance. Then, less than twenty-fours later, there I was, moved into Brody's bedroom, feeling elated and, well, pretty special. There were no other words to describe how I felt from how he had been treating me.

It was Brody's way of healing me, helping me recover from what Rob had tainted me with until I could rebound back to my old self. Looking at it from that perspective, it sort of made sense. Brody, though d.i.c.kish and douchey when it came to certain areas in his life regarding women, was also a nurturer and a protector to those he cared about. It couldn't be helped. It was in his nature. And it made it difficult not to fall even more in love with him.

Maybe it was his agenda, maybe not, but it seemed like he was reversing the G.o.d awful bits that had happened to me as he was also reversing what my decision was about him. It was like hitting two birds with one stone. And if there was anyone to make me heal after the kind of trauma I'd had with Rob, Brody was the only answer, because I couldn't think about trusting another man with myself except him. I needed someone to make me partially whole again, and Brody was the essential element.

After that ma.s.sive realization, I saw him differently, as if I was seeing him with my old and yet revived eyes.

When he came back from the kitchen, armed with the requested goodies, he immediately sensed the change in me as he placed the tray in the middle of the bed, eyeing me suspiciously.

"What did I do now? I feel as though I did something, and I don't know what that is. You do like b.u.t.tered toast, right? Or did I get that wrong?" he said, unsure of himself.

"Nothing. I was just thinking, is all," I finally said before sitting up on the bed, still reeling from my thoughts prior to his arrival. "I do love b.u.t.tered toast," I declared as I happily bit into one. "Love it, thank you."

For the rest of the day, we stayed in bed, enjoying each other's company as we channel surfed. Our conversations were nothing life changing. It wasn't anything heavy that involved our past and our feelings towards one another. Anything and everything came up but those subjects. In some ways, I was happy we hadn't opened the emotional box, but at the same time, there was a part of me that would always question, would always wonder about the "what ifs." I guessed it was going to be my normal, and I had to learn how to live with that.

Later on that evening, after he practically carried me out in bed, arguing we needed some fresh air and were in dire need of a quiet walk on the beach, it was rather unexpected when he went all out to take me out on our first, "official" date as he called it.

It began as a simple trek on the sandy sh.o.r.e, but before we reached a secluded alcove that few people visited since it was quite a walk, I was in for a treat.

Unbeknownst to me, he had set up the spot prior to taking me outside. It was elaborate, cozy, and purely romantic. He had placed a great deal of effort and thought into it.

There was a lemon-yellow, linen blanket on the sand with a tiny bonfire to the side of it, making everything glow in a dreamy fas.h.i.+on as the sound of the nearby waves. .h.i.tting the sh.o.r.e drifted to our spot in a hush. Then there was the rustic, tiny, cafe two-seater table with some fresh made pasta, antipasto, wine, and some amazing, fresh-made garlic bread that melted in my mouth with each delicious bite.

"Man, you're really trying to impress me," I observed, grinning from ear to ear because this idiot had taken the time to do something out of the ordinary. Who would have considered this guy a romantic at heart? This is what I have been missing out on for all these years, I thought as my eyes feasted on the beautiful set up before me.

"Hey, this might be the first and last, so I have to make sure you're never going to forget it," he said as he stood right beside me.