Self's Punishment Part 21

'I'm sorry, Herr Self . . .'

So this was the end. They say it happens just before you're hanged, but now the pictures of the past weeks went shooting through my mind, as if in a film. Korten's last look, my arrival in Mannheim on Christmas morning, Manuel's hand in mine, the nights with Brigitte, our happy group round the Christmas tree. I wanted to say something. I couldn't make a sound.

Herzog went ahead of me into the apartment. I heard the music being turned down. But our friends kept laughing and chattering cheerfully. When I had control of myself again, and went into the sitting room, Herzog had a gla.s.s of wine in his hand, and Roschen, a little tipsy, was fiddling with the b.u.t.tons on his uniform.

'I was just on my way home, Herr Self, when the complaint about your party came through on the radio. I took it upon myself to look in on you.'

'Hurry up,' called Brigitte, 'two minutes to go.' Enough time to distribute the champagne gla.s.ses and pop the corks.

Now we're standing on the balcony, Philipp and Eberhard let off the fireworks, from all the churches comes the ringing of bells, we clink gla.s.ses.

'Happy New Year.'

SELF'S PUNISHMENT

Bernhard Schlink

Bernhard Schlink is the author of the internationally bestselling novel The Reader The Reader; a collection of short stories, Flights of Love Flights of Love; and three other crime novels, The Gordian Knot The Gordian Knot, Self Deception Self Deception, and Self Slaughter Self Slaughter, which are currently being translated into English. He is a visiting professor at the Benjamin Cardozo School of Law, Yes.h.i.+va University, in New York. He lives in Bonn and Berlin.

Walter Popp

Walter Popp was born in Nuremberg and studied law at the University of Erlangen. He started a law practice in Mannheim before moving to France in 1983. He now lives in a Provencal village with his teenage daughter and works as a translator.

ALSO BY BERNHARD SCHLINK

The Reader

Flights of Love