Transition. Part 24

She looked down towards the layer of cloud two kilometres below. "You know," she said, "people at the top of any organisation like to think that they are, metaphorically, on the summit of a mountain in perfect visibility. They're wrong, of course; in fact there's mist all the way down. Organisationally, you're lucky if you can see clearly into even just the next level down. After that it's pure murk, as a rule."

She left a pause, so he said, "Really?"

"Of course, with the Concern it gets even more difficult to see what's going on." She turned to look at him. "There are levels most of us don't even know exist. I was on the level just beneath the Central Council. If I'd kept my nose clean I'd probably be there now; certainly in a decade or so, a.s.suming that one of the hold-outs sticks to their guns and dies rather than keeps going on for ever. You're a level down for that, Tem, fast-tracked for success but, I'd guess " her eyes narrowed again and her head tipped " not knowing it. Would that be right?"

"I thought you had to do a lot of committee work and politicking back on Calbefraques. I enjoy working in the field too much. Also, it has been noticed amongst the lower orders that the turnover in the Central Council has slowed down a lot over the last fifty years or so."

"All the same, you're one of the potential chosen ones."

"I'm flattered. Is that why you're trying to recruit me?"

"Not directly. They must see something in you. I do too, though perhaps not exactly the same things. I see a potential in you that I don't think they know is there. And I think you might choose the right side."

"So do they, I suppose. But this brings us back to the issue of sides. You were about to explain just what they were, I think. I did ask you to."

She moved closer to him, placed one snow-soft white mitten on his. "The Central Council has become obsessed with power before and beyond anything else. The means has become the end. If they are not opposed they will turn l'Expedience into something that exists only for its own aggrandis.e.m.e.nt and the pursuance of whatever secret purposes the individuals on it choose to dream up. I think that is unarguable. Plus I believe that at the behest of Madame d'Ortolan there is something else, some already hidden agenda they're working to the uniqueness of human intelligent life and the singular nature of Calbefraques itself may well point to the nature of that secret but I never got close enough to the centre of power to find out."

"What, and I am supposed to?"

"No. It'll take too long for you to be elevated to the Council, if you ever are. It'll be too late by then."

"Too late?"

"Too late because soon Madame d'Ortolan will have the Council exactly as she wants it; full of people who think just as she does and who will do everything she wants them to do, and who will never die, because they will keep repotting themselves into younger bodies as their older ones approach senescence."

"So what do you propose, Mrs Mulverhill?"

Her smile looked defensive. "Ultimately, that the Central Council either ceases to exist or is severely reined in and radically reconst.i.tuted. Certainly that it is subject to some sort of democratic oversight. They can even keep their serial immortality, as long as they resign in perpetuity from the Council itself. Long life for long service. An incentive to serve but not to entrench."

"All the same, you're asking a lot of them."

"I know. I don't see them giving up what they have at present without a fight."

"And is the other side just you and your bandit gang?"

"Oh, there are plenty of people who feel the same way, including a few people on the Central Council itself."

"Like who?"

That smile again. A little wary, this time. "First tell me if you've betrayed me, Tem," she said softly. She lowered her head a fraction as she gazed up at him.

"Betrayed?" he said.

"We've talked before. I'm an outlaw. If you were playing by the book you ought to have reported our meetings."

"I did," he said. "Is that betrayal?"

"Not by itself. What else, though? What did they suggest you do?"

"Keep meeting you, keep talking to you."

"Which you have done."

"Which I have done."

"And reporting back."

"Which I have also done."

"Fully?"

"Not quite fully."

"And have you agreed to help catch me?"

"No."

"But have you refused ever to help catch me?"

"No. They did ask. I told them that of course I'd do what was right."

She smiled. "And do you yet know what is right?"

He took a long deep breath of the pure gas and the stunningly cold air. "I think I would find it very hard to help them catch you."

She looked pleased and amused at once. "Is that gallantry, Tem?"

"Perhaps. I'm not entirely sure myself."

"s.e.xual sentimentality, is what Madame d'Ortolan would call it."

"Would she now?"

"She is a very unsentimental woman. Well, apart from her cats, maybe." Mrs Mulverhill was silent for a moment, then said, "Do you think they're using you to try and catch me even without your consent?"

"I'm sure they are. I've always a.s.sumed that when we meet you've taken care of that."

"I do what I can." She shrugged. "I think I'm still ahead of them."

"You think they're in hot pursuit?"

She nodded. "Theodora keeps at least two tracking teams on the lookout for me at all times. And she has her special projects, her wild cards, randomisers whom she's tormented and bent until they form specialist tools for seeking out people like me. She thinks they might be able to work some magic and both find me and then disable me when I'm traced. I suppose I ought to feel flattered to be the object of such obsessive attention."

She looked away at the startlingly bright point of the rising sun. The surrounding peaks shone a bright yellow-white now, the level of illumination dropping down their snow and rock flanks as the sun continued to rise, casting jagged shadows across the steeply sloped snowfields and glacier heads. Just in that moment he thought she looked small and vulnerable and hunted, even afraid. The urge to reach out and take her in his arms, to shelter and protect and rea.s.sure her was very strong, and surprising. He wondered for a moment how much of this was deliberate, if he was being manipulated, and in that hesitation the moment pa.s.sed and she turned back to him, smiling, raising her face. "You need to take care, Tem," she told him. "You can only postpone making up your mind for so long. Perhaps no further, after this. You can seem to cooperate with them and listen to me for now, but sooner or later they'll insist you do something that settles it. You'll need to decide."

"I thought you were trying to get me to decide."

"I am. But I'm not threatening you."

"They're not threatening me."

"Not yet. They will. Unless you take the hints that will be put before you, if they haven't been already, and obviate the need for explicit threats." She looked down towards the ruffled blanket of cloud far below, still in shadow. "The Central Council prefers implied threats, the threat of threats. It's more effective, leaving so much to the individual imagination."

"You're not going to tell me who the people on the Central Council are, are you? The ones who might think the way you do."

"Of course not. You could probably make a fairly accurate guess, anyway. And it's not as though I have signed contracts from them, swearing to rebel when the time comes. I haven't even talked to all of them, I'm just making a.s.sumptions. But feel free to tell the Questionary Office that you asked the question."

"I shall."

She was silent again for a while. The wind roared on, picking up in strength while the weathervane apparatus creaked and moaned and swung the gla.s.s barricade round to face the onrus.h.i.+ng torrent of air. "You should take all this more seriously, Tem," she said, her tone gently chiding, close to hurt. "These people are slowly making monsters of themselves. Madame d'O is already full-fledged. Under her, if they haven't already, they'll come to countenance anything to avoid what she sees as contamination. Anything. Encouraging world wars, genocide, global warming; anything at all to disrupt the slow progress towards the unknown."

"Don't let my defensive flippancy deceive you," he told her, pulling her to him, enfolding her. He hesitated.

"Deep down you still don't take it seriously either?" she suggested, looking up at him with with a small, wan smile.

"There's that flippancy again." He squeezed her. "I take it as seriously as I've ever taken anything, including my own survival."

She looked unimpressed. "I was hoping for better."

"Leave it with me. I'll see what I can do."

She turned in his arms, staring out over the nearly lifeless waste of rock, ice and snow towards the faltering dawn.

"We may not be able to meet like this again," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Then I'm glad," he said, "that we were able to put so much effort into this meeting." She looked back to him with an expression on her face that he was unable to read, and he felt a real gut-stirring emotion, something between a kind of recidivist l.u.s.t and an entirely unexpected regret at the potential loss of somebody who only now, belatedly, he realised was and had always been a soulmate. He would never now, never again, call it love.

She pushed herself away from him a little, then reached out and patted his gloved, mittened hand again, layers upon layers separating them. "I've enjoyed everything about the times we've spent together," she told him. "Would that there had been more."

He gave it a while, then said, "So what happens next?"

"Immediately, trivially? You go back to Calbefraques and I disappear again."

"If I do need to contact you, if I do decide-"

"I'll leave a note of places, times, people."

"And beyond that?"

"Over time, more to the point, I think Madame d'Ortolan will eventually move against the people on the Central Council who disagree with her. She'll try to isolate them, perhaps even kill them."

"Kill them? You're not serious." This was not the sort of behaviour the Central Council was known for. There had been one or two suspicious deaths on the Council centuries before that might have been due to some judicious poisoning, but nothing untoward since. Stolid and boring were the words most people a.s.sociated with the Council, even after the ascendancy of Madame d'O; not danger, not a.s.sa.s.sination. them? You're not serious." This was not the sort of behaviour the Central Council was known for. There had been one or two suspicious deaths on the Council centuries before that might have been due to some judicious poisoning, but nothing untoward since. Stolid and boring were the words most people a.s.sociated with the Council, even after the ascendancy of Madame d'O; not danger, not a.s.sa.s.sination.

"Oh, I'm as serious as she is," Mrs Mulverhill told him, eyes wide. "Madame d'Ortolan is one of those people civilised on the surface, brutish underneath who think themselves realists when they contemplate their own barbarism, and ascribe the same callousness to others. Making the a.s.sumption that everybody else is as ruthless as she is helps her live with her own inhumanity, though she would justify it as simple prudence. She knows how she she would deal with somebody like herself: she'd kill them. So she a.s.sumes those who oppose her must be planning the same, or shortly will. Obviously, then, by her demented logic, she needs to kill them before they kill her. She will think through this psychotic escalation without any evidence that her opponents actually do intend her harm and she'll pride herself on her disinterested practicality, probably even persuading herself that she bears those she has marked for death no personal ill will. It's just politics." would deal with somebody like herself: she'd kill them. So she a.s.sumes those who oppose her must be planning the same, or shortly will. Obviously, then, by her demented logic, she needs to kill them before they kill her. She will think through this psychotic escalation without any evidence that her opponents actually do intend her harm and she'll pride herself on her disinterested practicality, probably even persuading herself that she bears those she has marked for death no personal ill will. It's just politics."

Mrs Mulverhill smiled briefly. "She will move against them, Tem; decisively as she would see it, murderously as anyone else would." She put one mittened hand on his arm. "And she may think to use you to do so, as you are still her promising boy. Discover and test your loyalty and commitment by ordering you to make the cull. Though she will undoubtedly have alternative means set up if you decide not to cooperate." Her gaze fastened on him. "If you do decide against her, you will be making yourself an outlaw too, or at best symbolically leaping behind a barricade with others, like myself. And, unless we succeed, the full force of the Central Council and the Concern itself will be turned against you, against us, in time. We have to persuade the waverers, who are probably the majority, that we are right, and we need to survive long enough to do that. If we can resist the Council successfully they will look weak and be seen to lose authority. Then negotiation, compromise might be possible."

"You don't sound very hopeful."

She shrugged. "Oh, I am full of hope," she said, though her voice sounded small and faint.

He went to her and put his arms around her. She pressed gently against him, her head against his chest. Moments later, almost together, a series of beeps announced that their oxygen cylinders each only held enough gas for a few more minutes.

14

Patient 8262

I think I have to leave. I cannot stay here. Or maybe I can. I'm not sure. think I have to leave. I cannot stay here. Or maybe I can. I'm not sure.

It is comfortable here. All is not perfect; I still worry that somebody might try to violate me again, and there remains the disturbing incident with the broad-shouldered lady doctor and her dolls, when things seemed to slip aside from reality and it felt like I could only escape through fainting, but, even so, my existence here is relatively calm and unthreatened. Maybe I should stay.

I am trying to spend less time asleep or snoozing or just with my eyes closed. I am trying to discover more about where I am: about this society and the clinic and about myself. This has met with mixed results so far. However, I feel it is necessary no matter whether I stay here or leave. If I stay I need to know where it is that I am staying, so that I am prepared for what may happen. (Suppose I am only here for as long as some sickness fund or medical insurance settlement lasts and then get thrown out regardless, for example.) If I am to leave then I need to know into what sort of world I would be venturing.

So I have, albeit reluctantly, especially at first, been spending more time in the day room, watching television with the slack-jaws, droolers, mumblers, random shouters and nappy-wearers who inhabit the place. (There are one or two of its denizens who are not irredeemable, but they are very much in the minority.) It is amazing, though, how little one can glean from the sort of broadcasts these people choose to watch. I have tried finding news or current-affairs channels, but this always causes protests, even from the true slack-jaws who you'd have sworn might as well have been sitting watching a turnip rather than a functioning television.

They like cartoons, mostly. They will watch programmes with lots of shouting and movement and colour, but anything that might actually engage the brain's higher functions, beyond the sort of stimulus on a par with a chain of plastic toys stretched across an infant's cot or pram, that they cannot cope with. I have learned a little more of the local language, that's about all. I persist only because the very distracting nature of the programmes sometimes lets my higher functions disengage more easily from the here and now, freeing me to think.

I asked for and was given a radio to use in my room. That was better. I am still struggling to understand more than about a quarter of what is said less when people talk too fast but I have worked out that this is a mostly peaceful world and that this is a relatively benign, egalitarian society my care here will continue indefinitely, paid for by the state and that I am here because I suffered some sort of breakdown which left me in a catatonic condition for a month. The medical staff think I must still be suffering from a mixture of amnesia and delusion, or that I am just plain putting it on, pretending to be crazy to escape... well, whatever it was I felt the need to escape.

I have been back to the ward of sleeping men, in daylight. n.o.body tried to stop me. It is an ordinary ward, after all. The men were mostly awake a few were snoozing, but not all and there were chairs by the bedsides, and there were flowers and Get Well Soon cards on the bedside cabinets, and there was even a family what I took to be a wife, sad and sallow-faced with two small, silent children visiting one of the patients. The two adults were talking quietly. Some of the other men, sitting up in bed, looked at me as I stood at the doors of the ward, staring in. I met their level, mildly inquisitive gazes, felt foolish, and turned and walked away down the echoing corridor, relieved and disappointed at once.

My name still means nothing to me. Kel. Mr Kel. Mr P. Kel. Mr Pohley Kel. Nothing. It means nothing to me well, beyond that it feels the wrong way round somehow. Still, it seems that I am stuck with it and I suppose it will do as well as any other.

I was a crane driver, they tell me. I worked in one of those tower cranes they use to build tall buildings and other large structures. This is a job of some skill and responsibility, and one that you'd want someone quite sane and sensible doing, so I probably couldn't just walk back into it. But it occurs to me that it is also a job that somebody who did not very much like interacting with other people might choose, and one that might allow the imagination to roam free and unfettered above the city and the site, so long as the mechanics of the job got done safely.

I lived alone, a loner, both in my home life and up there in the sky, swinging loads around from place to place while the people below scurried like ants and I took instructions from disembodied voices crackling over the radio. No family, no close friends (hence no visitors, save a foreman from the firm while I was still catatonic, apparently anyway, the whole building team has moved to another city now). I'm told I rented a small flat from the city council which has now been allocated to somebody else. My possessions, such as they may be, are in storage until I claim them.

But I remember nothing of that life.

Rather I was a dangerous, skilled, swashbuckling hero, a remorseful but utterly deadly a.s.sa.s.sin, a thinking person's hooligan and later (or perhaps just potentially) a mover and shaker, high-flying, fast-tracked, in a vast and burgeoning shadow-organisation spreading secretly under our ba.n.a.l existence like some fabulously bright and intricate mosaic long buried unglimpsed beneath a humble hearth.

I remain convinced that this calm, unambitious, self-satisfied, unspectacular little world is not all there is. There exists a greater reality beyond this dull immediacy and I have been part of it an important part and will return to it. I was betrayed, or at least persecuted, and I fell and nearly perished, but I escaped as of course I would, being who and what I am and now I am hiding here, waiting, biding my time. So I need to prepare, and work out whether I should do nothing but wait here patiently, or take matters into my own hands and strike out purposefully.

There is much to be done.

Madame d'Ortolan Between the plane trees and belvederes of Aspherje, on this clear midsummer early morning, the dawn-glittering Dome of the Mists rises splendidly over the University of Practical Talents like a vast gold thinking cap. Below, amongst the statues and the rills of the Philosophy Faculty rooftop park, walks the Lady Bisquitine, escorted.

From the vantage point of a terrace a few metres higher and fifty metres away, Madame d'Ortolan, with Mr Kleist at her side, watches the little party as it meanders closer. From a distance, Bisquitine looks quite normal, just a pretty plump blonde in a rather old-fas.h.i.+oned long white dress, attended by four gentlemen and a lady-in-waiting.