Vampire Falls - Heartbreak Part 8

Carson sat at the kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee. His brothers sat to either side of him. Rainna placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as she set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him.

"She'll be fine, Carson. It takes a while to get used to the effects of the ... the animal l.u.s.t. I'm thinking she's going to have a worse time of it than I did. At least while I'm pregnant I don't feel it as strongly. And I'm human, not wolf."

She moved around the table to take the fourth chair. Trey rose to help her ease into it. Carson knew it was difficult for her to manage in these later months. And although they were all tied as one family, it was Trey who was her mate, and he took great care of her, particularly during these vulnerable months for his woman.

They all knew that times were still dangerous. And Sybilla and Kyle were never far from any of their thoughts.

Protection of their females was paramount to any other considerations in their lives. And the birth of Rainna's child would most certainly notch up the security within their pack.

The vulnerability of the child scared them all, knowing that with even added vigilance it might not be enough.

"Yeah, she's part wolf. We have yet to figure that one out."

Carson turned to look at Donovan. "Any word yet on those files?"

"Not yet. It's not easy to get what we're asking for.

Especially right now."118 "Is there word from the council on what action is being taken regarding the Thorntons? We gave them the report last week. With the information that Petra provided, they should have been able to make some sort of inroads in gaining access to the New York facility."

"It's just not that easy," Trey said. "Once they figured out that both you and Petra escaped, they tightened security, changed some of the procedures. It's amazing we've gotten as far as we have. But we now have two of the collars that they use to control our species. Our people will dissect them and maybe we can at least discover a way to defuse them and stop the torture they impose."

Donovan shook his head. "They'll find something else to take its place. We have to take down the agency."

"They're not stupid. They're too spread out and too deeply ingrained and protected by the government. The spread of fear, control of the news ... they've got too firm a grip on society and they're using it to their advantage."

"Still, we have to get our people out. We've got to protect them somehow." All Carson could remember was the look on Petra's face when he opened the back of that truck. Like a caged animal. My G.o.d, he'd never forgive them for what they had done to his woman, to his family. Neither he nor his brothers had ever been caged. None of them had been incarcerated in one of the PIA facilities and he thanked G.o.d for that.

He reached up to touch his neck. The collar was the closest he'd come and that had been more than enough.119 "Petra's not going to understand what happened this morning." Carson rose from his chair. "I want to be with her when she wakes up. Apparently this wolf thing didn't actually start for her until she came here, to Silver Creek."

"Well, I can relate to that," said Rainna. "It obviously has something to do with coming into close contact with one of you. Even for me, and I'm not a s.h.i.+fter, the animal heat affects me. There can't be any rhyme or reason to that."

"True," Carson acknowledged.

"I think there are things she's not telling us," Trey said.

"We can't help her if she isn't honest. Has she talked about that meeting with her mother?"

"Deborah Thornton isn't her mother," Carson almost snarled the words. "No mother-adoptive or not-would treat Petra the way she did."

"But did Petra tell you what happened after she was taken away?"

Carson sighed. "No. Not yet. She's told the council everything they wanted to know. She hasn't balked at any of their questions. But Deborah pretty much kept her segregated from the actual goings-on in the PIA and the experimentation at the inst.i.tute. On the personal situation with Deborah, however, she's closed up. We need to give her time." He looked carefully at each of them and lowered his voice. "I think whatever happened that day was pretty traumatic for her. She needs time to know us, to realize she's safe here and that we're not like the people who used her so badly. The mating-it took place too soon. It took us both by surprise, but you know what happens when the heat ignites.120 There's just no stopping it. Primal instinct takes over. I don't think she understands her own feelings, let alone whether she can put her faith in us to protect her. I wish that weren't the case, but it is."

"Does she know about Sybilla?"

"I don't know. We haven't discussed Sybilla or Kyle to any great extent."

"Men." Rainna snorted. "You expect Petra to bare her soul to you and you don't come clean with her. Carson, you have to explain to her about Kyle and Sybilla. How can you possibly hope to get her to trust you? I expect she knows as well as any of us that a wolf mates for life. But I'm not certain she understands the dynamics of that in relation to this pack.

From what she's said, she's been entrusted with all the historical data maintained by the foundation concerning the various paraspecies. From what I understand they kept her isolated from the actual present-day research they do. But she's going to probably have some sense about the mating habits. Do you really think she's going to believe that she means anything to you? If she knows you've already mated once?"

Carson had to admit he hadn't really considered that aspect of it. At least not recently.

It was true that after Sybilla's death he had thought it was his fate never to find another woman to love. He would have been content in helping to care for his brothers' mates and seeing to the welfare of the pack. This new woman in his life was a surprise. It was a gift he was so afraid of losing.

"You're right. I need to talk to her. It's just not easy to-"121 "I know," Rainna said softly. "But your future and Petra's happiness could depend on you being just as honest and open as you want her to be. It might just open the door for her to trust you and reveal what she's keeping secret."

"It just needs to be the right time. Things have been in such a turmoil up until now. I just want to wait for things to settle a bit."

"The full moon will be upon us sooner than you think,"

Trey said. "It will be time for the mating ritual. The formal bonding must take place during the full moon to have the greatest impact. The longer you wait, the more vulnerable we are. You know that. And our females must be protected to the fullest. If she doesn't trust you, she won't give herself freely to the bond. It could leave her vulnerable and breach our pack security. We must remain solid, Carson. Don't wait too long."

Carson understood what his brother was saying. Although the bonding with his brothers had already begun, it wouldn't be enough to maintain the protection that they required. The sacred ritual must be performed as the code of their ancestors demanded. He had to find a way to tell her the truth of his past and of his love for Sybilla. But he had to be certain she understood that he considered Petra to be a part of his future.

"I'll find a time. A way. I just hope I can make her understand." He only wished he understood the hows and whys of it himself. Something about Petra called to the very soul inside him, and that had only happened with one other woman. It should have only been possible with one woman. If122 only he could understand how Petra could have claimed that very same part of him that Sybilla had once held.

Was he fighting his responses to Petra because of guilt in not protecting Sybilla? Was he holding some part of himself back because he felt it was a betrayal to the woman he had once loved so pa.s.sionately? He had to find out the answers before his indecision destroyed them all.

123

CHAPTER 15.

Petra felt as though she were sitting on the edge of a time bomb about to explode. Carson had tried to explain to her about what happened two days before with the intimacy involving Donovan, but she still wasn't certain she understood the whole animal heat thing peculiar to this strain of werewolves.

But heat it was, and something she was having difficulty controlling. It seemed that every time she looked at one of the brothers her juices acc.u.mulated and her nipples hardened, becoming more sensitized. Carson was the one she loved with her whole heart, but there was just something about Donovan and Trey that called to her in a different, very basic way.

"It's all right, you know." Petra turned around to see Rainna standing behind her on the porch.

"Excuse me?"

"It's all right to need them all." She walked across the porch to sit in a chair, easing down into it. "I have to say, I will be happy when this baby is born." She smiled up at Petra, then she waved to the chair opposite. "Sit and talk with me. I know this has been a difficult time for you and we really haven't had a chance to chat-just the two of us. Those men just hover around all the time, don't they?"

Rainna had a way about her of making everyone feel at ease. She also was a woman with healing abilities and maybe that was part of her own mystique. She had been a nurse and124 now apprenticed with the Falls healer, Morganna Starlight.

Petra had yet to meet the others in the town. She had met the members of the town council who had approved her residency in Vampyre Falls, and answered their questions about what she knew concerning the PIA and the Harden Inst.i.tute. But she still hadn't had the opportunity to meet many of the others residents.

"The animal heat," Rainna was saying. "It's not something you can control. It's a natural state, from what I'm told. But by bonding with the females of the pack, it welds the brothers together, making them stronger. In their minds, their strength means our protection. I don't know exactly how it works, but that's the gist of it. The heat helps to secure the whole pack."

"But aren't you jealous, knowing that I'm attracted to your ... mate?"

Rainna looked her straight in the eyes. "And you'll f.u.c.k him when the time is right. It's instinct and there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Not if we love our men and want to keep them as safe as possible. It's the nature of the beast, so to speak. I love Trey too much not to accept the frenzy of the heat. And I'll do anything that's required to ensure Trey's protection. Do you understand?"

Petra felt the hot color travel up her neck to flood her face.

"Uhmmm." Talking about it embarra.s.sed her, but she knew she'd do the same for Carson without hesitation.

Rainna laughed. Petra could only stare at her. Rainna seemed so honest. Petra saw no evidence of jealousy or deceit in her expression.125 "In this family you might as well be up front about the dynamics of our relations.h.i.+p. This isn't a human family as you and I are familiar with. Believe me, I know, it's hard to understand about the way things are up here. So very different from ... well ... down there. And from purebred wolves for that matter. They're s.h.i.+fters with a whole different code to their species. And the dynamics are changing because I'm no longer the only female in this ... pack. Actually, it will be sort of nice having some of that attention s.h.i.+ft to you.

They're so darn protective. Sometimes it's tough having three males breathing down your neck all the time. Maybe it's the pregnancy, I don't know." She leaned forward and reached out to cover one of Petra's hands. "But I like you, Petra. I'm so pleased Carson has found a mate. For so long, none of us thought that would happen, and I have to say we feared for his sanity sometimes."

Petra knew about Sybilla, but how could she tell them that and not tell them the rest of what Deborah had revealed to her? And she still wasn't ready to do that. "I don't understand any of what's happened to me. Carson takes me out to the mountains almost every night, encouraging me to s.h.i.+ft and run with him. He wants me to get used to the way things are now, but it's so hard. Everything I knew is changed. I never harbored the hatred that my-that Deborah held for paraspecies. I didn't have it in me. At least Jamie understood."

"Jamie?"

Petra smiled. The one good thing that had come out of her life with the Thorntons. Yet, even that they had destroyed.126 "Jamie was my brother. My adoptive brother. He died in a cave-in." She looked at Rainna and the pain of Deborah's words tore at her heart. "He was murdered by the PIA.

Deborah knew he loved spelunking and sent him to that cave deliberately intent on killing him. And how she succeeded."

Petra blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. She could not allow herself to give in to the remembered horror of the revelations of that last meeting with Deborah.

"I'm sorry, Petra. I can't imagine how hard it has all been for you. How did you find out he was murdered?"

"Deborah took great pleasure in telling me about it on the day she ... captured me." Petra took a shuddering breath.

"Could we not talk about this anymore? It hurts too much. At least for now."

Rainna straightened in her chair. "Of course. I didn't mean to bring up such painful memories."

"It seems that all of my past is a painful memory anymore."

"Then let's talk about something more elemental. Our family."

That sounded nice. Petra had never really felt a part of a family before ... she'd always been on the outside looking in.

She certainly found she was developing a strange closeness with this family ... and part of her own nature that she was trying to learn to embrace.

"The next full moon is very close and the brothers will want to bond with you at that time. There is a ritual that must take place in order to secure our family. And you will be the center of that bonding. It will bring protection and security127 and it is a ritual that must be adhered to. Believe me, it is not at all unpleasant. It will seal the bond."

"You mean s.e.x?"

"I mean mating. In the most primal sense. Don't think that anything you do with our men will distress me. I know I have Treynor's love as his mate and his commitment in our relations.h.i.+p. But in this family there is more, and you will become a part of that."

"You have Treynor's love. It must be wonderful to be so certain of his commitment to you."

Rainna tilted her head and studied Petra. "You're not certain of Carson."

"How can I be? Everything has happened so fast."

"Do you love him?"

Petra looked at her. There could be no lies between Rainna and herself. If this family was to maintain its strength, she had to be honest. This was one truth she could reveal without causing pain to these people. "Yes, I love him. But things aren't that simple."

"Have you been honest with him?"

And there was the crux of the problem. She'd been as honest as she dared be. He might care for her, but did he love her? Enough to be confronted with the terrible secrets she now carried? She wished she did trust enough in their relations.h.i.+p to reveal the horrors. But she was afraid- terrified of being destroyed by the one person she had come to love so deeply. And she just wasn't ready to see her love ripped apart.128 But even Petra knew that time was running out. Eventually she would have to reveal the truth and pay the price.

129

CHAPTER 16.

When Carson sauntered into the kitchen several days later, Donovan and Trey were already seated at the table. Both had their heads bent over a sheaf of papers. Carson poured himself a cup of coffee.

"What do you have there?" he asked as he sat down at the table.

Donovan looked at him and Carson felt a cold chill run up his spine. "What is it?"

"You're not going to like it. I'm still trying to understand all the medical terminology."

He shuffled through the sheaf and pulled out a sheet of paper. "We need to have Rainna look this stuff over before we leap to any conclusions."

"What exactly is it that you're looking at?" But Carson had an inkling that he knew exactly what it was. "Tell me."

Donovan was silent for a long time before he spoke. "All right. It's the file from New York."

"Concerning Petra."

Donovan nodded. "Yeah, but there's a d.a.m.n sight more in here than we ever expected, if I'm right."

"Let me see it."

Quickly Donovan shuffled all the papers into a pile and stuffed them back into a yellow envelope. He looked at Trey and something unspoken pa.s.sed between them.

"Dammit, what aren't you telling me?" His brothers shouldn't be keeping secrets from him. Especially not ones130 concerning his mate. Whatever it was, he had a right to know.

"We need Rainna to look at this first. We don't want you going off half-c.o.c.ked and misinterpreting what's here."

"Then where the h.e.l.l is Rainna?" He grabbed for the file, but Donovan jumped from his chair and backed out of reach.

"Not yet, bro. You're not getting your hands on this until we have a better understanding of what's in here."

"And Rainna's sleeping in late," Trey said. "The baby has taken a toll on her and she's exhausted."

Carson shot up from the table and launched himself at Donovan, ripping the file out of his hands. "I'm not waiting.