Mind Platter Part 6

Between the Lines

We all have this inner need to be stable, the need to feel that we have a place where we belong. We like to gravitate towards what puts our hearts and minds at ease. Everyone wants to be free of any captivating or weakening feelings and thoughts, but ironically, we also like to feel grounded by that which we cannot control. We like to feel that there is a greater power over us, one that sometimes allows us to justify the actions that we do despite logic telling us not to. As much as uncertainty puts us at an unease because we are swinging between the hope of a yes and the disappointment of a no, we love that hope, that possibility, that maybe. We sometimes read nonexistent meanings and feelings between short lines, but we see them because we want to belong, because we want to feel stable. The possibility of their existence forcefully tempts us to see them. Depending on the power of uncertainty that we have, if, at the end, we find out that those meanings do exist, we value them more because we have already worked hard for them by foreseeing them and hoping for them. Meanwhile, we have to understand that uncertainty is something that we need, that time is something that we need, in order to really appreciate what we end up getting.

Avoidance

Time pa.s.ses, the past is inevitably created, and we get moved out of it into the present, but do we really move past it? Avoid a nagging thought or feeling for a minute and see how many days it will take you to deal with it in the future. The main reason why we live most of our lives recalling the past is that we don't really get rid of it. We keep unresolved problems in it, and that makes us visit it often to deal with them. Feelings and thoughts that we ignored at the time that we were able to control them become too complicated once the issue s.h.i.+fts from How do I deal with this? to Where do I even start? We are good at avoiding. We are good at just disappearing because we think that if we stay away from a thought or a feeling long enough, it will just go away. Meanwhile, the complete opposite happens because, subconsciously, your need to deal with the issue becomes more persistent. That need for resolution becomes stronger. Taking time to understand why certain thoughts cross your mind, and what you need to do with them, is absolutely critical, and conviction of your decisions is even more critical. It is always better to be at peace with your mind and heart so that you lead the directions that they take. Otherwise, you will find yourself acting in ways that even you don't understand.

The Language of Silence

There's something about silence in others that we find frustrating yet intriguing. When you are faced with silence, you have the ability to interpret it in whatever way you want. It's very interesting because silence is not a language, yet it could be more powerful than any language, and it is present absolutely everywhere. It may seem that it doesn't take any energy, but it actually can take more energy than speaking because you hold yourself back from saying what you want to say. We use it to convey happiness, sadness, acceptance, deep thought, disappointment, inability to express our thoughts and feelings, or even carelessness, etc. Sometimes we use it unintentionally, and we are unaware of how those around us interpret it. When speaking words, we can change what they mean by simply changing our tone, but silence has no tone. Instead, the silence of another person awakens many voices within us: those that will tell us what we want to hear, those that will tell us exactly what we need to hear, those that will tell us what we know that we deserve to hear, those that will tell us to wonder about what would happen if that silence meant this or that, etc. This is where our original intention kicks in, and based on it, we have this self-talk that makes us feel shame, guilt, pride, conviction, disappointment, etc. So think about it. Do you actively and selectively use silence as a form of communication? Do you ever think about how people around you interpret it? Similarly, do you give the silence of others the attention and thought that it needs? Or do you just allow one voice within you to affect the way you think?

The Rare You

People will rarely see you the way that you see yourself, but don't let it stress you out. You most likely don't see people the way they see themselves either. We selectively choose what to see in others based on our purpose of having them in our lives. We may see others the way that they like to be seen, but not the way that they really are, because what we see is only a snapshot that is bound to a certain time, to a certain angle, and to a certain state of mind that we have. Everything is relative, and nothing about you that people see is a pure truth because no one is perfect, and no characteristic in you can ever be applicable a hundred percent of the time. The only truth that holds place is that you have a certain capacity to cause a change in others based on what you can or cannot offer them. This capacity depends on your willingness to act upon it. If you believe that you can inspire others to change their ways and see themselves for who they are, and you are willing to go ahead and do it, then you are brave. You are rare. If you choose to keep that capacity within you without sharing it with those who can benefit from it, then you are no different than most people who choose to remain neutral. Which one are you?

The First Step

In order to achieve greatness, you have to be willing to take the right steps towards it. Some of us will settle for what is average. Some of us will settle for what will get us by in life. But some of us do not accept anything less than what is extraordinary, and this is where the most stress is bound to come our way. What stands between us and that extraordinary goal are hundreds of steps, and that blocks our image of that end goal. When we can't see it, we start losing hope, and we start losing belief that we are headed in the right direction. We could stand in front of the first step for as long as we want and waste time. Or we could go ahead and take the first step. Once we do that, it's hard not to go to the next step, and the next, because we don't want to lose what we just invested. Instead of looking too far ahead to see that end goal, pay attention to how you can nail the next step and believe in your heart that your end goal exists. Now do you see why some things in life are better than others? Because they are rare, and rarely will people intend to achieve them because of the uncertainty of being able to reach them. So, if you have an extraordinary goal, go for it. Take the first step. Giving up is not easy, but holding on is definitely harder. Once you can convince yourself of that and bring yourself to accept that you need to expect hards.h.i.+ps in pursuit of greatness, then you have taken your first step graciously. You wouldn't worry about reaching for the fruits on the highest branches of a tree before planting the seed, would you?

Ignite Change

Be the one to always give and not expect anything in return, not to avoid being hurt but to feel content with what you can do yourself, to be independent, to be happy without needing anyone to give you happiness. Be like a breeze of change that inspires others to see their abilities without needing you to stay. Make people think. Make them wonder, and let them know that what you give is only based on what they are willing to take. Don't attribute your success based on whether you make a difference with everyone you meet, but on the kind of difference you are willing to make. Accept that you have no owners.h.i.+p over people even if you do give them more than you receive. The effort that you put into inspiring others to value their own selves, and to see the best in themselves, gives them two choices: either to take it or leave it. Whatever they choose is not a sign of your success or failure, unless you believe that to be the case.

A Serene State of Mind

If you're not at peace with your thoughts, don't expect anyone to express theirs to you. If you're not at peace with your feelings, don't expect anyone to be honest with you about theirs. If you can't be at peace with the closest people to you, don't expect new people to enter your life. If you're not at peace with your past, don't expect a hopeful future to come easily. Peace starts from within. It reflects on your outside whether you are aware of it or not. It is the beauty of your soul that reflects the purity from within you. Be at peace with yourself so that you may be content and happy with being who you are, or else you will be living in conflict with no one other than yourself, and you will become in need of help from someone who is not you. Don't depend on anyone to answer your questions. Don't depend on anyone to give you clarity. Find the answers yourself. Find clarity yourself. You have a brain to guide you and a heart to motivate you.

Take That Step

If you can't stand up for what you believe in, prepare to be silenced. If you don't have the courage to pursue your dreams, prepare for someone else reaching them. If you don't have the strength to hold on to what really matters in your life, then prepare for it to let go of you. If you can't take the initiative to take the step forward that will give you a better future, then prepare for that future to step further away from you. Quit blaming your surroundings for the consequences that you cause for yourself. Lead your life and follow your dreams, not people.

Beyond What Your Eyes See

Do you ever wonder what's hidden in people's hearts? About what makes them who they are? About their values and beliefs? About the battles they fought? The battles they won and lost? The ones they are still fighting? Do you ever wonder what's behind every brave smile? Or do you just look at the outer appearance of a person and a.s.sume that you know what you need to know? The reality is that we often forget that each person has a history that made them who they are. We forget that the snapshot we're getting of a person's life is one that could not possibly be enough to represent that history or give them credit for it. Why do we do that? Is it because it's just easier to judge a book by its cover? Is it more convenient? And, does that mean that we should look at ourselves that way too? Just worry about polis.h.i.+ng up our outsides and not worry about bettering our inner selves? This is a serious problem that we face. We think that way because it's easier to care for how people perceive us than to care about who we really are on the inside and how we perceive ourselves. We condense our whole being and our whole worth into how we look on the outside. Don't ever think that a second you take to reflect and think about your own life is selfish. Make who you are into who you want to be. Don't let who you are make you who you don't want to be.

Dream

No dream is ever too big, and no step towards a dream is ever too small. Believe that you will get there, and you will. Your doubts will only hold you back and make each step harder, each decision harder, and each change harder. Celebrate the little successes so that you may appreciate the bigger ones. Learn from the little failures so that you may learn how to deal with the bigger ones. Be at peace with yourself, for you cannot achieve peace with the world if you can't be at peace with yourself. Give more than you take and don't give anything because you expect to get something in return. Be genuine. Truly wish goodness from your heart. The world will have no other option but to smile back at you and grant you the happiness that you define for yourself. What does happiness mean to you?

Write Your Happiness

What makes your life unique? Life is full of ups and downs. It is full of good moments and bad moments, amazing times and times when you are desperate for anything good to happen. If life came with a manual, it would be full of blank pages that you would fill out yourself. There would be pages that you wish you could rip out but can't, pages that you wish you could stay on and not turn, pages that you would love to erase and rewrite. Those wishes and those feelings are what make your life unique, irreplaceable. There is no one path to happiness, no one path to uniqueness. There is no one path to success. So, instead of wasting your time looking for prescribed steps to take to make your life perfect, pave your own steps. Create your own landmarks. Walk your own path. You will not feel the greatness of your success unless you make it unique to yourself, unless you direct your strengths in the right direction and use your weaknesses to your advantage. Avoid the defined black and white rules set by others. Be genuine with whatever you do. Make your own colors and s.h.i.+ne.

Figuring You Out

If time did not exist, would patience exist? If hearts did not exist, would love exist? If minds did not exist, would logic exist? If hards.h.i.+ps did not exist, would perseverance exist? Would the night exist if we had no day to look forward to? And would opportunity exist if we had no motivation to reach for it? Would dreams exist if there were no dreamers? Would a bright today exist without a hopeful yesterday? Everything you have in your life is present because of the existence of something else. If you ever have a problem with one aspect, look for what it is a.s.sociated with. Maybe then your eyes will see the root of the problem. For example, if you have a problem with patience, maybe you need to manage your time or use it more wisely to take your mind off of what makes you impatient. Don't isolate your problems. Don't take them out of the context that they were created in. No problem is created without the solution preexisting, and figuring out that solution is up to no one but you.

Moments to Live for

Think back to the moments when you felt that you'd made a difference in someone's life. Think back to the moments when you saw someone else's eyes light up because they saw the best in themselves through your eyes. Think back to the moments when your efforts to make someone realize what they are capable of doing finally started having an impact on them. Think back to the times when you felt that you were standing at the edge of a cliff, uncertain whether jumping would take you down to the lowest valley of disappointment or fly you up to the highest sky of happiness. Think back to the moments when happiness came so fast at you that you lost track of time, of s.p.a.ce, of logic. Think back to the moments when you did something good for the sake of goodness without anyone knowing but yourself. Think back to the moments when you chose silence over words because words could not do justice to your thoughts, whether it was a happy or sad silence. Think back to the moments when your smile could not possibly contain your happiness, when your heart ceased to beat so fast. Think back to those moments, and tell me, isn't your life truly worth living? Weren't those moments truly critical for making you who you are? Be thankful for those moments so that you don't become immune to them when they happen again and again, because they most definitely will. Whether you notice them or not is based on how much you've cherished them before.

What Would You Do?

Often the moments that take our breath away are those unplanned, those that we have long hoped for but, deep down, feel hopeless about. Those moments seem as far away as the stars, and as admirable and desirable as light is to a b.u.t.terfly. What is the one thing that's been constantly on your mind lately? Think about it and think of how much energy you're putting into thinking about it, into the what if this and but what if that, into what you would do if it happened, or what you would do if it didn't happen, into what your next step would be, into thinking of ways to stop thinking about it if you didn't get it. Think. Now imagine that what you have been thinking about was given to you at the time when you least expected it, when you really were putting every effort into looking away from it. At a time when all you wanted to do was ignore its existence in your head because you'd thought about it for way too long and figured that it just was not giving you any sign of being the right thing for you. Imagine that it was given to you in a place where you least expected to get what you wanted, because it was a strange place, a beautiful place that made you wonder about how great life could be if you could rid yourself of that nagging thought. Would it make you hopeful again? Would it make that thought come back even stronger? Would it make you happy? Or would it make you want to walk away even faster because you finally got what you wanted after realizing that you could live happily without it?

In Case You've Ever Wondered

Sometimes I wonder if my dreams are too big for the world, or if the world is too small for my dreams. Somehow, life always pushes me in the direction of following my dreams. Being hopeful has never left me hopeless. Being thankful has never left me unthankful. Being happy has honestly never left me sad. Being compa.s.sionate has never left me heartless, and being grateful has never left me ungrateful. Being honest with myself has never left me feeling guilty or insincere. Living up to my own expectations can be difficult because my expectations for myself are too high. But are they better than others' expectations for me? Definitely. Are they more relevant to my life and my dreams than others' expectations for me? Absolutely! So, today I encourage you to be hopeful, thankful, happy, compa.s.sionate, grateful, and honest with yourself. Start off with positive outlooks because they will never end up negatively, regardless of what those around you may tell you. Ignore negative advice. Follow your dreams. Live up to your expectations. And remember, it's okay to be hard on yourself sometimes because no one knows what you are capable of doing more than yourself. Don't fall short of the greatness you know is in you. Believe in yourself. Trust your judgments and set out for your dreams. They may be closer than you think.

Take It or Leave It

Be the one to always give and not expect anything in return. Give, not to avoid being hurt, but to feel content with what you can do yourself, to be independent, to be happy without needing anyone to give you happiness. Be like a breeze of change that inspires others to see their abilities without needing you to stay. Make people think. Make them wonder, and let them know that what you give is only based on what they are willing to take. Don't attribute your success based on whether you make a difference with everyone you meet but on the kind of difference you are willing to make. Accept that you have no owners.h.i.+p over people even if you do give them more than you receive. The effort that you put into inspiring others to value their own selves, and to see the best in themselves, gives them two choices: either to take it or leave it. Whatever they choose is not a sign of your success or failure unless you believe that to be the case.

Educate Me

Educate me, not by making me memorize facts, but by teaching me how to read between the lines, how to critically think, how to deeply understand. Educate me by respecting me. Educate me by treating me as a human. Educate me by showing me that you make mistakes just like I do. Educate me by showing me that I am not perfect, and neither are you. As long as I can teach myself to get back up, it's okay if I fall down. Educate me by telling me where to look, but not what to see. Educate me by respecting yourself so that I may respect you, so that I may respect myself. Educate me by seeing the best in me because, while you might not know it, you may be my only hope. Educate me by believing in me. Make me believe that no question is ever stupid and no dream is ever too big. Educate me by making me love to learn. Educate me by taking away the fear of tests, marks, and standardization. Where I start and where I end are not as important as the journey I had to take from one to the other. Educate me by making me more dependent on myself and less dependent on you. Educate me by making me want to learn on my own. Educate me by making education about me, about making me a lifelong learner, by making me able to teach myself. Educate me by making me think of the world, not just words and pictures in a textbook. Educate me by empowering me, by making me truly believe that I can make a difference in the world, because while I am unique, I am not living alone. Educate me by telling me the sky is my limit. Put me at the intersection and equip me with the skills, not only the knowledge, to choose which path to take.