Age Of The Pussyfoot Part 14

Taiko shrilled, "You're both idiots! Crawl."

Forrester spared him a glance. Curiously, Taiko was down on his knees and for the first time Forrester realized that the floor was damp-not damp, muddy. A thin gruel of softly oozing mud was pouring in from apertures in the wall. Others were getting down into the mud, too; and, for possibly the thousandth time since being taken from the freezer, Forrester found himself torn between two choices of puzzles to try to solve. What was going on here, exactly? And what the devil did Adne mean by "our" name?

But she tugged at him impatiently, slipping down to wallow in the porridgy substance. "Come on," she cried. "You're not doing it right, but come on, you sweaty kamikaze."

All the while the air was being recharged with the stimulant, if it was a stimulant, that had opened the gates of his senses for Forrester. It was like LSD, he thought, or a super-Benzedrine: he was seeing a whole new spectrum; hearing bat shrieks and subsonic roars; smelling, tasting, feeling things that had been out of his reach before. He perceived clearly that this was some sort of organized ritual he was in, understood that its purpose was to allow the release of tensions by saying whatever the inner mind had wanted to say and the outer censor in the brain had forbidden. Allow it? He could not stop it! He listened to the things he was saying to Adne and realized that, at a later time, in an undrugged moment, he would be appalled. But he said them.

And she nodded gravely and replied in kind. "Jealous!" she shrieked. "Typical manipulative owners.h.i.+p! Filthy inside, trashy!"

"Why shouldn't I be jealous? I loved you."

"Harem love!" sneered Taiko from beside him. The man was lying full length in the mud now-it had reached a depth of several inches and seemed to have stopped there. "She's a brainless blot of pa.s.sions, but she's human, and how dare you try to own her?"

"Fake!" howled Forrester. "Go pretend you're a man! Bust up some machines!" He was furious, but in one part of his mind he was alert enough and a.n.a.lytical enough to be surprised that he wasn't impelled to hit Taiko. Or Adne, for that matter. What he was impelled to do was to say wounding things, as true and hurtful as he could make them. He looked around him and saw that he was the only one still on his feet. The others were all full-length in the mud, writhing and creeping. Forrester dropped to his knees. "What's this d.a.m.n foolishness all about?" he demanded.

"Shut up and crawl," grunted Taiko. "Get some of the animal out of you." And Adne chimed in, "You're spoiling it for all of us if you don't crawl! You have to crawl before you can walk."

Forrester leaned down to her. "I don't want to crawl!"

"Have to. Helps you get out the rot. The secrets that fester . . . Of course, you kamikazes like to decay."

"But I don't have-"

And Forrester paused, not because he had voluntarily chosen to stop talking just then, but because what he had been about to say was not true, and he simply could not say it. He had been about to say that he had no secrets.

He had, in fact, more secrets than he could count; and one very large one that appalled him, because his mouth wanted to blurt it out even while his brain screamed No!

If he stayed in this room one more moment, Forrester knew, he would shout at the top of his voice the fact that he had been the one to help the Sirian escape and thus had made it a good gambling bet that the whole world of men would be destroyed. Dripping mud, panting, mumbling to himself, Forrester climbed to his feet and forced himself to run-a staggering, broken-field run that dodged flailing limbs and leaped over writhing bodies, that carried him through the angry rumble of the crawlers and out into a dressing chamber, where he was sluiced down with fragrant spray, dried with warm blasts of air, and bathed in hot light. Fresh garments appeared before him, but he took no pleasure in them. He had forgotten for a moment, but now he remembered again.

He was the man who had destroyed Earth. At any moment he would be found out. . . . And what his punishment might be, he dared not think.

"Man Forrester," cried the voice of a joymaker, "during the period of interrupted service, a number of messages acc.u.mulated for you, of which the following three priority calls are urgent."

"Wait up," said Forrester, startled. But there it was. Rummaging through the neatly folded heap of T-s.h.i.+rt and Turkish pants, he came upon the macelike shape of a joymaker. "Ho," he said. "I've got you again, eh?"

"Yes, Man Forrester," the joymaker agreed. "Will you receive your messages?"

"Um," said Forrester. Then, cautiously, "Well, I will if any of them are of great urgency at this very moment. I mean, I don't want somebody coming in here and blowing my brains out while I'm talking to you."

"No such probability is evident," said the joymaker primly. "Nevertheless, Man Forrester, there are a number of highly important messages."

Forrester sat down on a warmed bench and sighed. He said meditatively, "The thing is this, joymaker. I never seem to get to the end of a question, because two new questions pop up while I'm still trying to find the answer to the first one. So what I would like to do right now, I would like you to get me a cup of black coffee and a pack of cigarettes, right here in this nice, warm, safe room, and then I would like to drink the coffee and smoke a cigarette and ask you some questions. Now, can I do that without dying for it?"

"Yes, Man Forrester. However, it will take several minutes for the coffee and cigarettes to be delivered, as they are not stock items in this facility and must be secured from remote inventories."

"I understand all that. Just get them. Now." Forrester stood up and drew the baggy pants over his legs, thinking. At last he nodded to himself.

"First question," he said. "I just came out of a place where Adne Bensen and a bunch of other people were wallowing in mud. What was that all about?-I mean," he added hastily, "in a few words, what is it called, and why do people do it?"

"The function is called a 'crawl session,' Man Forrester, or simply 'crawling.' Its purpose is the release of tensions and inhibitions for therapeutic purposes. Two major therapies are employed. First, there is a chemical additive in the air that suppresses inhibitors of all varieties, thus making it possible to articulate, and thus to relieve, many kinds of tensions. Second, the mere act of learning to crawl all over again is thought to provide benefits. I have on immediate access, Man Forrester, some thirty-eight papers on various aspects of the crawl session. Would you care to have me list them?"

"Not in the least," said Forrester. "That's fine; I understand that perfectly. Now, second question."

There was a thunk; a receptacle opened beside him; Forrester reached in and took out a steaming and very large cup of coffee covered with a plastic lid. He worried the lid off, sought and found the cigarettes and lighter that accompanied the coffee, lit up, took a sip of the coffee, and said, "Adne Bensen said something to me about choosing a name. I interpreted this to mean that she was, uh, well, pregnant. I mean, I thought she meant a name for a baby; but actually it was something else. Reciprocal names? What are reciprocal names?"

"Reciprocal names, Man Forrester," lectured the joymaker, "are chosen, usually by two individuals, less typically by larger groups, as private designations. A comparable inst.i.tution from your original time, Man Forrester, might be the 'pet' name or nickname by which a person addressed his or her spouse, child, or close friend; however, the reciprocal name is used by each of the persons in addressing the other."

"Give me a for instance," Forrester interrupted.

"For instance," said the joymaker obediently, "in the universe of Adne Bensen and her two children, the reciprocal names are 'Tunt'-a form of address from one child to the other-or 'Mim,' when Miss Bensen addresses or is addressed by a child. As mentioned, this situation is not typical, since more than two persons are involved. A better example from the same demesne would be the relations.h.i.+p of Adne Bensen and Dr. Hara, where the reciprocal designation between them is 'Tip.' Are those adequate for instances, Man Forrester?"

"Yeah, but what's this about Hara? You mean he and Adne have a pet name?"

"Yes, Man Forrester."

"Yeah, but- Well, skip it." Forrester glumly put down his coffee; it didn't taste as good as he had thought it would. "Sounds confusing," he muttered.

"Confusing, Man Forrester?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you and I have the same name, how do we know which one- Oh, wait a minute. I see. If you and I have a name, then if you use it, obviously you mean me. And if I use it, I have to mean you."

"That is correct, Man Forrester. In practice it does not appear that much confusion arises."

"All right, the h.e.l.l with that, too. Let's see." Forrester frowned at his cigarette; it didn't taste particularly good, either. He was unable to decide whether the reason was that he had lost the taste for coffee and cigarettes, or whether these were simply miserable examples of their kind, or whether what tasted bad was his mood. He dropped the cigarette into the rest of the coffee and said irritably, "Question three. Now that I have you again, and plenty of money, is there some way I can keep from foolishly losing it all again? Can we like work out a budget?"

"Certainly, Man Forrester. One moment. Yes. Thank you for waiting. I have obtained a preliminary investment schedule and prospectus of probable returns. By investing a major fraction of your holdings in the Sea of Soup, with diversification in power, computation, and euphoric utilities, you should have a firm annual income in excess of eleven million, four hundred thousand dollars. This can be prorated by week or by day, if you wish, and automatic limits placed on the amounts you can spend or hypothecate. In this way it will be possible-Man Forrester!"

Forrester was startled. "What the devil's the matter with you?"

"Your instructions, Man Forrester! Urgent priority override: statement made earlier that you are in no immediate danger of death is no longer true. Man Heinzlichen Jura de Syrtis Major, having filed appropriate bonds and guaranties-"

"Oh, no!" cried Forrester. "Not that crazy Martian again!"

"Yes, Man Forrester! Coming through the crawl chamber right now, armed, armored, and looking for you!"

Fourteen.

Forrester snapped tight the baggy trousers, tucked in the pullover, slipped his feet into sandals, and hooked the joymaker to his belt. "Out!" he barked. "Which way?"

"This way, Man Forrester." An opening in the wall widened like a pair of parentheses, and Forrester bolted through it. A lounge, a ramp, an open double door, and he was out into the midway again, with the bright sun pounding down on him, the gay crowds staring at him casually.

He glanced around: yes, there was the DR vehicle, s.h.i.+ning white overhead, its attendant with chin on hand gazing into s.p.a.ce. "Where's Heinzie?" he cried.

"Following, Man Forrester. Do you wish to fight him here?"

"h.e.l.l, no!"

"Where would you prefer, Man Forrester?"

"You idiot, I don't want to fight him at all. I want to get away from him."

He was attracting attention from the crowd, he saw. Their expressions were no longer vacant, but puzzled, and beginning to be hostile.

The joymaker said hesitantly, "Man Forrester, I must ask you to be specific. Do you wish to avoid combat with Man Heinzlichen permanently?

"That's the idea," Forrester said bitterly. "But I see it's a little late for that now." Because the Martian was churning out of the double doors of the crawling building and heading straight for him. "Oh, well," said Forrester. "Easy come, easy go."

The Martian planted himself in front of Forrester, puffing. He said, "h.e.l.lo, dere. Sorry I kept you waiting so long."

"You didn't have to hurry on my account," said Forrester cautiously. He was scanning the Martian carefully for weapons, but there didn't seem to be anything. He was wearing what looked like a wig, close blond curls that hugged his scalp, surrounded his ears and jawline, and went down in back to the nape of his neck, but otherwise he was unchanged in appearance from the last time Forrester had seen him. And he did not even carry a stick. His joymaker was clipped to his belt; his hands were empty and hung loosely at his sides.

"Vell," said the Martian, "you were with de Forgotten Men, you know, and den I had other things to do. Anyway, here we are, so let's get it over with. O.K.?"

Forrester said honestly, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Fight, you fool!" cried the Martian. "What de h.e.l.l do you think you're supposed to do?"

"But I'm not even mad," Forrester objected.

"Dog sweat!" roared the Martian. "I am! Come on, fight, will you?" But his hands still hung at his sides.

Forrester s.h.i.+fted position cautiously, sparing the time for a glance around. The crowd was definitely interested now, forming a neat ring around them; Forrester thought he could see bets being made on the outcome. The DR man overhead was watching them carefully. At least, Forrester thought, if I let him kill me, they'll just freeze me up again. And then they'll put me back together later on. And maybe the freezer isn't such a bad place to be for a while, until this business with the Sirians get straightened out. . . .

"Are you going to fight or not?" the Martian demanded.

Forrester said, "Uh, one question."

"Vell?"

"The way you talk. I had an argument about that the other day-"

"What's de matter with de way I talk?"

"It's a sort of German accent, I thought, but this other Martian was Irish, and he talked the same way-"

"Irish? German?" Heinzlichen looked baffled. "Look, Forrester, on Mars we got six-hundred-millibar pressure, you understand? You lose some of de high frequencies, dat's all. I don't know what 'German' or 'Irish' is."

"Say, that's interesting!" Forrester cried. "You mean it's not an accent, really?"

"I mean you wasted too much of my time already!" the Martian cried and leaped for his throat. And right there, in the bright midway with the ambulatory plants jolting past him and the crowds cheering and shouting, Forrester found himself fighting for his life. The Martian was not only bigger than he was, the d.a.m.ned skunk was stronger! Fleetingly Forrester blazed with anger: how dare the Martian be stronger? What about the supposition that light-gravity inhabitants would lose their muscle tone? Why was he not able to crush this flimsy, light-G creature with a single blow?

But he could not; the Martian was on top of him, systematically thudding his head against the paving of the midway. It was Forrester's good fortune that the flooring was a resilient, rubber-like substance, not concrete; all the same, he was developing a headache, and his senses were spinning. And now the Martian added insult to injury. "Get up and fight!" he bawled. "Dis is no fun!"

That marked the limit of Forrester's civilized control. He screamed in rage and surged up; the Martian went flying. Forrester was up and after him, flinging himself on top of him, a knee in the Martian's throat; he saw the Martian's joymaker loose by his side and caught it up-grabbed it like a club, smashed the macelike large end against the Martian's skull. It rang like bronze. Even in his rage Forrester felt a moment's astonishment; but clearly the close-cropped blond wig was not merely hair, it was a protective armor skullpiece. "Louse!" roared Forrester, enraged all over again; the Martian had prepared himself for this battle by wearing a helmet! He shortened his stroke and clubbed the Martian across the face. Blood spurted; teeth broke. Again and again, and the Martian tried to cry out but could not; again, again- Behind him the voice of the attendant from the DR cart said, "All right, all right, that's enough. I'll take care of him now."

Forrester rocked back on his haunches, panting hoa.r.s.ely, staring at the terrible ruin he had made of the Martian's face. He managed to gasp, "Is-is he dead?"

"They don't come any deader," said the DR man. "Would you move a little bit?-Thanks. All right, he's mine now. Wait here for the copper, please; he'll take care of filling out a report."

What happened next for Forrester was hazy. He had a confused memory of returning to the lavatory facilities of the crawl room and getting cleaned up again, a shower, fresh clothes, a steam of reviving gases that woke him up and cleared his head. But when he was out of the room the fog returned; it was not the drain resulting from his efforts that muddled his thinking, or the aching pain in his head where Heinzie had bashed it against the pavement. It was pure psychic shock.

He had destroyed a human life.

Not really, he told himself at once. Not now. A short rest in the freezer and then he's good as new!

But it didn't register with him; he was still in shock-and puzzled. He could not decide: had he imagined it, or had the Martian not been fighting back?

Adne was waiting for him, with Taiko; they had seen the fight and had stayed to help him get straightened out afterward. Help him or help the Martian, Forrester thought bitterly. It probably didn't matter to them which. Nevertheless, he was grateful for their help. Adne took him to her own home, left him there a minute, returned with the news that his apartment was ready for him again, and escorted him there. And left him with Taiko, who wanted to talk. "Nice fight, Charles. Shook you up, of course-h.e.l.l, I remember my own first killing. Nothing to be ashamed of. But, listen, if you're going to come to work for the society you've got to pull yourself together."

Forrester sat up and looked at Taiko. "What the devil makes you think I want to work for the Luddites?"

"Come on, Charles. Look, take a shot of bracer, will you? That green stud, there on the handle-"

"Will you get out of here and leave me alone?"

"Oh, for sweat's sake," cried Taiko impatiently. "Look, you said you wanted to help out with the society's program, right? Well, there's no time to waste! This is the chance we've been waiting for, man! Everybody's got the Sirians on their minds; they'll be diving into the freezers so fast the teams won't be able to handle them, and that's when those of us who can face the world realistically will have a chance to take action. We can get rid of the machine menace once and for all if we-" Taiko hesitated and gave Forrester a thoughtful look. Then he said, "Well, never mind that part of it just yet. Are you with us or against us?"

Forrester contemplated the problem of trying to explain to Taiko that his interest in the Ned Lud Society had been only an interest in making enough money to live on, and that, when the Sirian had left him ninety-three million dollars, that interest had evaporated. It did not seem worth the effort, so he said, "I guess I'm against you."

"Charles," said Taiko, "you make me sick! You of all people! You, who have suffered so much from this age. Don't you want to try to cure the evils of machine domination? Don't you want-"

"I'll tell you what I want," said Forrester, rousing himself. "I want you to go away-fast!"

"You're not yourself," said Taiko. "Look, when you get straightened out, give me a call. I'll be hard to reach, because- Well, never mind why. But I'll leave a special channel for you. Because I know you, Charles, and I know that you'll have to decide you want to end these cowardly times and give man back his- All right! I'm going!"

When the door had closed behind him, Forrester stared into s.p.a.ce for more than an hour. Then he rolled over and went to sleep. His only regret was that sooner or later he would wake up.

Fifteen.

What Forrester could not understand was why it was taking them so long to arrest him.

He began to see just why a criminal might give himself up. The waiting was hard to endure. Ten times an hour he reached for the joymaker to say, "I am the one who helped the Sirian escape. Report me to the police," and ten times each hour he stopped himself. Not now, he said. Tomorrow, no doubt, or maybe even a few minutes from now; but not just now.

From time to time the joymaker informed him of messages-forty-five of them the first day alone. Forrester refused to accept them all. He didn't want to see anyone until-until- Well, he didn't want to see anyone at the moment. (He could not make up his mind at just what moment the world would so clarify itself to him that he would be willing to start living in it again; but he always knew that that time was certainly not yet.) He explored the resources of his apartment, the joymaker, and his own mind. He ate fantastic meals and drank odd foaming beverages that tasted like stale beer or celery-flavored malted milks. He listened to music and watched canned plays. He wished desperately for a deck of cards, but the joymaker did not seem to understand his description of them, and so solitaire was denied him; but he found almost the same anesthesia in reading and reading over again what sc.r.a.ps of written matter he had on hand. His late wife's letter he practically memorized; his briefing manual for this century he studied until his fingers were weary from turning the pages.

On the second day there were nearly seventy messages. Forrester refused them all.