Waiting For The Moon Part 26

Selena was ashamed for never having noticed something like that. "You do not leave the house except at night?"

"No."

Selena couldn't imagine such a thing. "When I feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks, I think that G.o.d is touching me."

"Not me."

She heard pain in his quavering voice; it reached out to her, wrapped around her heart in a tight grip. She took his hand in hers and urged him to his feet. "Show me the night."

His eyes brightened. "Truly?"

"Yes."

A smile worked itself across his pale face. He tightened his grip on her hand and half dragged her down the steps and toward the trees. "We have to hurry. It will be dawn soon."

Hand in hand, they ran through the trees to a small clearing. All around them, jet black trees pushed up to

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the sky, enclosing them in a murky circle pierced by spears of moonlight.

She was struck by the primeval beauty. What she'd tried to create last night with candles and light, G.o.d had wrought with shadows and silence.

Andrew lay down and patted the cold, black earth beside him. Then he pulled out a long strip of flannel.

"It is even more beautiful in my imagination," he said, blindfolding himself. "Close your eyes."

Eagerly Selena stretched out beside the young man. Once again, she threaded her fingers through his and held fast.

When she closed her eyes, her other senses burst to life. She smelled the sweet, heady scent of pine and the tangy smell of the sea. A cool night breeze kissed her lashes, made her nightgown flutter against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and ankles. They lay there forever, holding each other, dreaming whatever dreams slid through their minds. Gradually the sun drifted upward, pushed shafts of pale light through the still dark trees.

"I wish I were blind," Andrew said quietly, gripping her hand in sweaty fingers. "I've seen things ... bad things___"

For a second, Selena couldn't breathe. She felt as if he'd just shoved her out onto a precipice; below was a painful, ruinous fall, and she didn't know how to keep her balance. She needed Ian or Johann right now, someone smart and learned. But there was no one here, and she was the person Andrew had confided in.

Very slowly, she rose to her elbows and turned to him. She brushed a damp lock of mousy hair from his blindfolded eyes. In the warm, early morning light he looked impossibly young and frail. "You are not crazy, are you, Andrew?"

"Wh-What do you mean? We're all crazy here, except you and Ian."

"No. Johann is a genius, but he's ill. I am hurt and 213.

perhaps a little crazy. You ..." She paused, searching carefully for the right words.

He s.h.i.+vered, drew slightly away from her. "You'd hate me if you knew what I've done...."

"I cannot imagine anything-"

"No. You cannot." He cut her off. "I don't want to be here anymore." He sat up and ripped the blindfold off.

Sunlight splashed his face.

Selena had never witnessed such stark, all-consuming fear. Andrew's eyes widened, turned gla.s.sy and fright-eningly bright. Slowly he shook his head from side to side and lifted his fists, as if to ward off a predator that only he could see.

"Andrew?"

He made a small, strangled sound and started to cry. Scrambling backward, he pushed through the damp earth and slammed into a tree trunk. Needles rained down on his moist cheeks and stuck; he seemed not to notice at all. Whimpering, he curled into a small, shaking ball. "Go away.. .." His soggy voice caught, trembled. He started clawing at the red scars on his wrists, as if he wanted to reopen the flesh. "Please ...".

Selena crawled toward him. "Andrew?"

His vacant eyes rolled back in his head and he started to scream.

Selena lurched to her feet. "I need help." She yanked up the hem of her nightdress and raced from the clearing. Breathing hard, she bounded up the porch steps and careened into the house, taking the stairs two at a time. Without a knock, she wrenched open Ian's door and hurled herself inside. "Ian?"

He was sitting up in bed, reading, his white nights.h.i.+rt gaped across his naked chest. His face was drawn and too pale, as if he hadn't slept at all.

He turned to her. "What is it?"

"It is Andrew. I have done something wrong." The horror of it washed over her. She brought a cold, shak

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ing hand to her mouth and started to cry. "He is outside. ..."

Ian closed the book. "Andrew never goes outside in daylight."

"I ... took him outside." The words tumbled out of her, forming themselves into a desperate, rambling apology. "It was still dark out. I didn't know ..."

"Christ." Ian threw the covers back and got out of bed. He grabbed a frock coat from the chair by the window and shrugged into it. "Let's go."

Selena barely heard the command, and she was moving.

She heard the screams the moment she opened the front door. The shrill, undulant cries echoed through the still, silent air and lodged in her heart.

Without even realizing it, she skidded to a stop.

Ian touched her hand. "It's not your fault, Selena. He just does this sometimes. Every few months something sets him off and we ... lose him for a while."

She shook her head, knowing it wasn't true, knowing she'd done something terrible to her friend.

He held her face in his hands and forced her watery gaze to meet his. "This is a place for lost and damaged souls, Selena. Andrew is sick. It's not your fault."

"Whose, then?"

Ian looked surprised by the question. "I don't know. How should I know what's bothering Andrew?"

She frowned. Obviously she had phrased her question poorly. "But you are his doctor."

Ian stiffened. "No. I'm his keeper. There's a difference." His hands slid away from her face. Without his touch, she felt colder, more alone. "Now, show me where he is."

Selena tried to sort through the rubble in her mind. There were so many questions she wanted to ask Ian, points she didn't understand. She thought a "keeper" took care of animals and a "doctor" took care of people. But she was wrong. Again.

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The questions jumbled and scrambled in her head until she couldn't think at all. She reached for Ian, but he was already past her, moving down the gravel path.

She stumbled to catch up and led him into the woods. When they were halfway there, the screams stopped. One moment the world felt split by sound, and the next it was utterly, preternaturally silent.

Selena picked up her skirts and hurried, scrambling over fallen logs and rocks and patches of lichen to get to the secret place. Andrew was still there, curled in a tight, trembling ball, his face stained with dirty tears, his eyes vacant.

Selena came to a stumbling halt.

Ian moved toward Andrew and crouched down close beside him. Selena followed cautiously, kneeled on Andrew's other side.

"Andrew." Ian said the boy's name in a powerful, authoritative tone of voice. "Andrew. Can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"Andrew." Ian said the name again and again. With each repet.i.tion, Ian's voice became a little more strained, until finally it broke. He ma.s.saged his temple and looked away, sighing softly. "Oh, Jesus."

"You need to get him to look at you," Selena said. She was fighting panic with everything inside her, but the insidious emotion nibbled at her composure, made her want to cry again.

Ian drilled her with a desperate look. "How?"

"Get closer, talk more softly."

He flinched at every word, as if they were tiny darts flicked into his skin. He gritted his teeth and sidled closer, leaning down. "Andrew, can you hear me?"

Once again, there was no answer.

Selena inched closer. "Touch him the way you touched me earlier. Force him to look at you."

"Touch him?"

Selena heard the fear in Ian's voice and she under

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stood. Maeve had told her of Ian's gift and the pain it caused him. "You must."

"I can't."

Selena's gaze didn't move from his face.

He swallowed and looked away from her. For a long, silent moment, he stared out at the trees and said nothing, then, finally, he turned back to Andrew. She noticed that his hands were shaking as he brought them to Andrew's face. Carefully he pressed his hands against Andrew's cheeks and tilted the boy's face up.

"Andr-" Ian didn't finish. With a cry, he yanked his hands away from Andrew's cheeks. He careened backward and fell to his knees, burying his face in his hands. He started to shake. "Holy Christ ..."

Selena went to him. "Ian, what is it?"

Slowly he looked up. His hands plopped lifelessly in his lap. "I didn't know," he said, gazing at Andrew.

"No one told me. Jesus, how could I not know?"

"What did you see?"

He bowed his head and rubbed his eyes, releasing a small sigh. "There are some things I hope you never learn, Selena."

"But Andrew-"

"Is too young to know that kind of pain." He shook his head again.

She moved closer, lifted her gaze to his. "You will help him." She'd meant to frame the words as a question, but somehow they ended up as a statement.

"He doesn't need medical care."

"You will help him," she repeated herself, softly.

He surged to his feet and backed away from her. "Enough of the hero wors.h.i.+p, Selena. I'm not capable of helping people. Besides, what Andrew needs isn't possible. We can't change the past."

"Then change the future."

"Ah, Selena." Ian's whole body seemed to sag at her simple words. He turned and looked at Andrew.

"This is a dangerous time for him. After a short period of cat 217.

atonia, he usually tries to kill himself. Fortunately, he isn't very good at it. Last year-"

She gasped.

Ian glanced down at her. She could see that he had no idea how callous he had just sounded, how ugly his detachment was.

The insensitivity hurt her more than she could have imagined. It made her feel fragile, uncertain, as if she'd just discovered that the anchor in her world was wrought of spun gla.s.s. She touched his arm, curled her fingers around his wrist, tried to find the familiar strength and warmth in simply being beside him. But for once there was nothing strong or solid about him. Beneath her fingertips, he felt as ephemeral as a ghost.

She gazed up at him, knowing her eyes held the heartbreak in her soul. "He needs you."

He sighed heavily and shook his head. "Ah, Selena ..."

"You will do what is right, Ian. I know you will."