The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 51

At the breakfast, guests are usually a.s.signed places, but, if not, may take any seat. Only the specially invited guests await the departure of the married couple, which ends the reception or breakfast.

If boxes of wedding-cake are placed on a table, each guest takes one on his departure.

GUESTS-CALLS. Invited guests should call at least within ten days and leave their cards.

DRESS. Broadly speaking, at a morning or afternoon wedding the guest wears afternoon dress, and at an evening wedding evening dress.

From the latter rule there are no deviations possible, but in the former there is greater lat.i.tude. Thus it would be possible for a man to wear a black cutaway coat at an afternoon wedding.

MEN. If the wraps are not left in the carriage, they are removed in the vestibule and are carried on the arm into the pew. A man follows the woman, who is escorted to the pew by the usher. At the end of the ceremony the guests should not leave until the immediate family have pa.s.sed out.

Guests who are not invited to the breakfast or reception should not take offense, as the number present on such occasions is necessarily limited. These guests may seat themselves or are seated by the ushers, but not in the pews reserved for the family and specially invited guests.

WOMEN. No one should be present at a wedding in mourning, and it should be laid aside temporarily even by the mother, who wears purple velvet or silk. Women on entering the church take the usher's left arm, and are escorted to the pew, while their escort follows behind.

If they are immediate members of the family or are specially invited guests, they should give their names to the usher that he may seat them in the places reserved for them.

HATS OF GROOM AND OF BEST MAN. To do away with the possibility of the best man having to take care of the hats of groom and best man during the wedding ceremony, it is a good plan for both groom and best man to leave them in the vestry, and to have them carried out to the front of the church, ready for them at the end of the ceremony.

HOME See Home Weddings.

HOST. See Father of Bride.

HOSTESS. See Mother of Bride.

HOURS. Any hour from nine in the morning to nine in the evening is appropriate.

The morning hours are usually selected for quiet home affairs; twelve o'clock, or high noon, is still considered as the fas.h.i.+onable hour, while from three to six is the hour most convenient for all concerned.

Evening weddings are not very convenient, chiefly because it is not as easy to handle the details as in the daytime.

INVITATIONS. The woman's parents, guardians, or others give the wedding, send out the invitations, and bear all the expense of engraving and sending out the same. They are issued in the name of the one giving the wedding, and should be sent to near-by friends about twenty days in advance of the wedding day and earlier to out-of-town friends.

With them are sent the invitation to the wedding breakfast or reception, and also the card of admission to the church.

The groom should supply a list of names of such persons as he desires to have present, designating his preference for those to be present at the breakfast or reception.

In addressing wedding invitations, two envelopes are used. The inner one, unsealed, bears the name only of the person addressed, and is enclosed in another envelope, sealed, bearing the address of the person invited.

Parents should, of course, order these invitations of a fas.h.i.+onable dealer in stationery, that good taste may be observed.

If the invitation contains an invitation to the breakfast or reception, it should be accepted or declined at once, and the answer sent to those issuing the invitation. If the invitation does not include a breakfast or reception invitation, no acknowledgment is necessary.

Should the wedding, however, be at home, and the guests limited in number, an acknowledgment should be sent.

If the invitations bear the letters R. S. V. P.

an acknowledgment is necessary.

BRIDESMAIDS. At a large church wedding several invitations are usually given to the bridesmaids for their own personal use.

CALLS. Very intimate friends can call personally.

Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride's family should send their cards to those inviting them.

Those who do not receive with wedding invitations and announcements At Home cards should not call, but consider themselves dropped from the circle of acquaintances of the married couple.

CARDS, LEAVING. If a person is invited to a wedding at a church, but not to the reception or breakfast, a card should be left or mailed both to the bride's parents and to the married couple.

Those present at the ceremony should leave cards in person for those inviting them, and if this is not possible, they can send them by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send cards to those who invited them.

RECALLED. When for some good reason a wedding has to be canceled or postponed, the parents of the bride should, as soon as possible, send printed notices, giving the reasons, to all the invited guests.

JOURNEY. See Wedding Trip.

MAID OF HONOR. See Maid of Honor.

MARKING GIFTS. See Marking Wedding Gifts.

MARRIED COUPLE. Immediately after the wedding breakfast or reception, the bride, with her maid of honor, retires to change her clothes for those suitable for travel. The groom, with his best man, does likewise, and waits for his wife at the foot of the stairs.

As she comes down the stairs she lets fall her bridal bouquet among the bridesmaids, who strive to secure it, as its possession is deemed a lucky sign of being the next bride.

As the couple pa.s.s out of the front door it is customary for the guests to throw after them, for luck, rice, rose leaves, flowers, old shoes, etc.

The form to be used in signing the hotel register is: Mr. and Mrs. John K. Wilson.

Good taste and a desire for personal comfort demand that their public acts and words be not of such a character as to attract attention.

See also Wedding Trip.

AT HOME. At the end of the wedding trip they proceed to their own home, and immediately send out their At Home cards, unless they have followed the better plan of enclosing them with their wedding cards.

They are at perfect liberty to send them to whom they please, and thus to select their friends. At these "At Homes" light refreshment is served, and the married couple wear full evening dress.

They are generally given a dinner by the bridesmaids, and are entertained by both families in appropriate ways.

MEN-DRESS. At a morning or afternoon wedding the groom, best man, and ushers wear afternoon dress, but at an evening wedding they wear evening dress.

For further details see Best Man--Dress.

Groom--Dress. Ushers--Dress.

MOURNING should not be worn at a wedding, but should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.

MUSIC. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before the arrival of the bride the organist plays some bright selection, but on her entering the church and pa.s.sing up the aisle he plays the Wedding March.

PAGES. See Pages.

PRIVATE. See Private Wedding.

PROCESSION UP THE AISLE. Many styles are adopted for the procession up the aisle. A good order is for the ushers to come first in pairs, then the bridesmaids, maid of honor, and last the bride on her father's arm. At the altar the ushers and bridesmaids open ranks to allow the bride to pa.s.s through.