The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 47

DRESS. Men wear evening dress. Women wear full evening dress.

INVITATIONS. He may invite his guests in person or by note. In either case he should secure the parents' permission to allow the young women to attend, and should be ready to supply all information regarding the men who will be present, and also the chaperones.

MEN. The escorts should see the women home unless they are called for by the male members of their families, in which case they may be accompanied to their conveyances. If a young woman is called for by her maid in a carriage, her escort may take her home.

Intimacy of the parties largely regulates the etiquette of such occasions. They can decide whether evening or street dress shall be worn, and seat themselves accordingly.

A carriage should be provided.

When entering an opera or theatre box for a short call, a man should stand and bow, making some pleasant remark to the chaperone.

If there is an empty chair, he may sit and talk a few minutes and retire as others enter.

WOMEN. Between the acts it is perfectly proper to go into the foyer with the escort, who should carry the woman's wraps and see that all her wants are attended to. Should she desire anything, she should call on him first.

The hat or bonnet should be removed.

In a box the women occupy the front row while the men sit or stand in the rear.

A woman should avoid conspicuous manners, loud conversation, laughing, or acting in any way to attract attention.

GIVEN BY WOMEN. This is a popular form of entertainment during the season. They are given by married women, and the guests are invited by note. A dinner is given at the house or at a restaurant before the departure for the opera or play. Refreshments may also be given after the entertainment at either the house or restaurant. At the dinner the same ceremonies are followed as to arrangements of guests and escorts as at any formal dinner.

TOASTS--WEDDINGS. Toasts to the bride and groom are customary at the wedding breakfast or supper.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner, he should propose a toast to the bride.

THEATRE PARTIES. See also CHAPERONE-MEN.

CHAPERONE-THEATRE.

THIRD PERSON-USED IN CORRESPONDENCE. While it was formerly the correct usage to begin formal communications in the third person, it is now the custom to begin such letters: MY DEAR MRS SMITH, or MADAM.

The third person would be used only in writing to a workman, a strange servant, or a business firm.

TIN WEDDING. After ten years of marriage, occurs the tin wedding. The invitations sent out may have the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED.

Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation.

Every conceivable device made of tin is appropriate as a gift, but, as these are limited, ingenuity may be displayed in getting up oddities. An entertainment may follow.

TIPPING.

At b.a.l.l.s. It is not customary to tip the servants at a private ball, but at a public one it is usual to give a tip to the attendant at the cloak-room.

At christenings. The father usually gives the nurse at a christening a sum of money, and the mother gives her some article of dress or piece of jewelry.

At house; parties. See HOUSE PARTIES. GUESTS.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Also under names of servants--as, COACHMAN.

t.i.tLES.

MEN'S CARDS. Men having t.i.tles use them before their names--as, REVEREND, REV. MR., REV. DR., Army and Navy t.i.tles, and officers on the retired list.

LL.D. and all professional t.i.tles are placed after the name. Political and judicial t.i.tles are always omitted.

Physicians may use DR. before or M.D.

after their names. On cards intended for social use, office hours and other professional matters are omitted.

WOMEN'S CARDS. The same principles govern the t.i.tles on women's cards, with the addition that women should never use t.i.tles of their husbands.

TOOTHPICKS should not be used in public. If necessity requires it, raise the napkin over the mouth, with the hand behind it, using the toothpick as quickly as possible.

TOWN, RETURNING TO-WOMEN. Cards of the entire family should be sent by mail to all acquaintances when returning after a prolonged absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the place of a woman's permanent residence can be written on the card thus: NEW YORK.

PHILADELPHIA.

TRAVELERS' VISITING-CARDS. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends a visiting-card containing her temporary address.

A man in a similar situation should call upon his friends, and if he does not find them at home should leave his card.

TRAVELING.

MEN WITH WOMEN. When traveling with a woman, a man should see to the checking and care of her baggage.

MEN. As it is exceedingly trying and difficult for a woman to stand in a railroad train while it is in motion, it is the height of good manners for a man to offer her his seat and to insist on her taking it.

EXPENSES. On a short boat or railroad trip a man should pay the expenses of a woman who accompanies him by his invitation. But on a long trip she should insist on paying her share, and he should accept her decision.

Of course, he is at liberty, however, to pay all the expenses of slight entertainments-as, fruit, magazines, etc.

He should see to the care of her baggage and all other details.

PARLOR-CAR. When traveling a long distance accompanied by a woman, a man should secure seats in the parlor-car.