The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 4

BACHELORS' THEATRE PARTY. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN.

BADGES--b.a.l.l.s (PUBLIC). It is customary for men and women on the committees to wear on the left side of the breast ornamental badges, embroidered with the official position of the wearer.

BAGGAGE. If a man is traveling with a woman, he should see to the checking and care of her baggage.

See also TRAVELING.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should, some time before the wedding, see that the baggage of the bridal couple has been checked, and the checks given to the groom.

See also BEST MAN.

b.a.l.l.s. A ball is an evening function, beginning at a late hour, devoted wholly to dancing. The costumes are more elaborate, the supper arrangements more extensive, and the floral decorations more lavish than at a dance.

ACCEPTING INVITATION TO DANCE. While a young woman may accept or decline any invitation to dance, it is considered an act of discourtesy to refuse one man for a dance and to accept an invitation thereafter for the same dance from another.

ANNOUNCING GUESTS. The hostess decides whether or not the guests are to be announced.

At public b.a.l.l.s it is customary.

ANSWERING INVITATIONS. These should be answered immediately, and if declined, the ticket should be returned.

ARRIVING AT. There is no set rule when guests should arrive.

In the city, guests should arrive anywhere between eleven and twelve, and in the country, fifteen minutes after the hour set in the invitation.

ASKING WOMEN TO DANCE. A man asks for the privilege of a dance either with the daughter of the hostess, with any guest of the latter, or with any young woman receiving with her.

On being introduced to a woman, he may ask her for a dance, and should be punctual in keeping the engagement.

It is her privilege to end the dance at any moment she wishes, after which he should conduct her to her chaperone or find a seat for her, after which he is at liberty to go elsewhere.

If for any cause a man has to break his engagements to dance, he should personally explain the matter to every woman with whom he has an engagement and make a suitable apology.

b.a.l.l.s, a.s.sEMBLY. The etiquette at an a.s.sembly ball is much the same as at a private ball, the functions and duties of the hostess being filled by a committee of women selected for that purpose.

On entering the room, the guests bow to the committee and pa.s.s on.

It is not necessary to take leave of the committee.

CARRIAGE. A man should provide a carriage in which to call for the woman he escorts and her chaperone.

CHAPERONES. For a small ball given in a private house, the hostess need not invite the mothers of the young women, and the young women can properly attend, knowing that the hostess will act as a chaperone.

But at a large ball it is necessary to invite the mother as well as the daughters, and the chaperone as well as the debutante under her care. The mother can send regrets for herself, and send her daughters in care of a maid. Or she can attend, and, after remaining a suitable time, she may entrust her daughter to the care of a chaperone who intends to remain the whole evening.

b.a.l.l.s FOR DEBUTANTE.

DRESS. A debutante should dress in white or some extremely delicate color, and wear very little jewelry--some simple brooch or single piece of jewelry, or a slender chain of pearls.

DUTIES OF DAUGHTERS. Except at her own debut, a daughter does not a.s.sist her mother in receiving. She should be ready, however, to see that young women have partners, and to speak, without introduction, to strangers.

GUEST OF HONOR. If the ball is given in honor of some special person, he should be met on his arrival, introduced to the women of the reception committee, escorted to the seat prepared for him, and be looked after the entire evening.

At the end of the ball he should be escorted to his carriage.

DUTIES OF HOST. It is not necessary that a man receive with his wife. He should do all he can to help make the ball successful, especially if his name appears on the invitation.

He should a.s.sist in finding partners for the women, taking the chaperones into supper, preventing the men from selfishly remaining in the dressing-room, and at the end escorting unattended women to their carriages.

When a formal supper is served, he takes into supper the leading chaperone.

DUTIES OF HOSTESS. As a ball is an entertainment for dancing, it is better to give two small b.a.l.l.s where the guests are not crowded than one where they are. It is permissible for a hostess not having sufficient room to hire rooms in some place suitable for the purpose.

In selecting guests, it is wise to have more men present than women.

The hostess should see to it that the rooms are well ventilated and well lighted. An awning and a carpet from the street to the hall door should be provided.

The hostess should stand near the door, prepared to receive the guests as they enter, shaking hands with each one, friend or stranger, and introducing any woman who may receive with her.

A hostess herself should not dance until late in the evening, unless she knows that nearly all her guests have arrived.

A wise hostess will personally see that the women are provided with partners, and that diffident young men are introduced.

The hostess should see that the floor is suitable for dancing, that music is arranged, programs printed, that dressing-rooms, one for the men and one for the women, are arranged for with suitable attendants.

The hostess should stand where the guests can take leave of her, and should shake hands with each when leaving.

HOURS. In the city the hour for a ball to begin is from 10.30 to 11 P.M., but in the country the hour is earlier--from 9 to 9.30.

A public ball begins promptly at the time mentioned in the announcement.

INVITATIONS. These are issued from ten to twenty days before the ball, and should be answered immediately.

For an impromptu dance, they may be issued within a few days of the affair.

These invitations should be engraved. As a general rule, it is not now customary to put on them the letters R. S. V. P.

But when an engraved invitation is posted, two envelopes are used, the inner one bearing the person's name only and unsealed, and the outer bearing both the name and address and sealed.

If the ball has any peculiar feature, as a masquerade or costume, the invitation should have some words to that effect in the lower left hand corner--as, Costume of the XVIIth Century, Bal Masque, or Bal Poudre.

INVITATIONS ASKED FOR STRANGERS. If a hostess receives a request from friends for invitations for friends of theirs, she can properly refuse all such requests, and no friend should feel aggrieved at a refusal for what she has no right to ask and which the hostess is under no obligation to give. If the hostess chooses to grant the request, well and good.