Gorgeous. Part 7

"Grow up," Quinn spat at me. "You have to get your head out of your a.s.s, Allison. This family is falling apart and what are you doing? Cutting school, climbing onto the roof, convincing Phoebe you can...what? Rob a bank for her?"

"Rob? My own account, you jerk," I said. "I wasn't offering your your money, you tighta.s.s." money, you tighta.s.s."

I managed to get up off her war zone of a closet floor and out into her room. "You can pretend you're a martyr all you want," I said, heading toward her door. "Is it really helping anybody? Is it getting Mom her job back? And thanks for showing me I can really count on you to keep my secrets. Not."

I opened her door and slammed it shut behind me before I saw that Mom was standing there in the upstairs hall staring at me.

"Hi," I said, trying to smile.

She stared at me for a few more seconds as curses and strategies chased each other through my brain. How much had she heard? Did she know I hadn't come in through the front door? What should I say if she confronts me on whether I cut school? Cutting was bad, but lying about it would be way worse, unless I didn't get caught, so...

"Everything okay?" she asked me.

My heart was slamming against my ribs again. "Um, yeah," I said. "You?"

She let out a sigh/laugh. "I've had better weeks, actually."

She took a sip from the mug in her hand, and glanced at the papers in the other.

I was scared to move a muscle, so I just stood there and said, "Mmm."

Then my phone rang and vibrated in my pocket. As I was grabbing it, she turned away, but then turned back and said, "Did you know everything you text on a cell phone is recoverable?"

"Um," I said. The call was coming from a number I didn't recognize. I didn't know whether to answer or not.

"So be careful," Mom said, and drifted away, sipping her coffee.

"I will," I said to her back, and flipped open my phone.

"Allison Avery," said an unfamiliar voice.

"Yes?"

"This is Natasha Mendel."

"Okay," I said.

"From zip zip."

My first thought was that I must have left my backpack there, but no, it was down in the bushes, which reminded me I should go get it after I hung up, despite the fact that, since I cut, I wouldn't know what the homework was anyway. As I was thinking all that, I was walking across the hall to my own room but not saying anything.

"h.e.l.lo?" the voice said.

"Yes," I said, and sat down on my little beige couch, my favorite thing in my thankfully neat, clean room in shades of beige and white that Jade had helped me pick out. Jade's mom had said neutrals are calming, and Jade pointed out the obvious, that I needed all the help with achieving calm I could get.

My call waiting clicked. I looked and, weirdly, it was Jade. Had she sensed me thinking about her?

I was about to ask the woman from zip zip to hold on, but then I remembered how freaky my cell phone had been acting and, out of fear I'd lose her, decided I'd call Jade back later, and realized the woman from the magazine was asking me in kind of a snotty, annoyed voice if she was calling at a bad time. to hold on, but then I remembered how freaky my cell phone had been acting and, out of fear I'd lose her, decided I'd call Jade back later, and realized the woman from the magazine was asking me in kind of a snotty, annoyed voice if she was calling at a bad time.

"No," I told her. "This is fine."

"You didn't drop off a picture today," said Ms. Natasha Mendel.

"I didn't know you had to," I said.

"You didn't," she said. "We were just wondering if you have management."

"Um," I said, because I didn't know what that meant.

"Is there an agent or manager we need to speak with?"

"About what?"

"About you," Natasha Mendel said.

"What did I do?"

"You photographed strikingly," she said.

I sank down onto the floor. "Strikingly?"

"You are among our twenty semifinalists," she said.

"You've got to be kidding," I said, and then realized what it must be. "Who is this? Roxie? Is that you?"

"Who?"

"Come on, Roxie, I know it's you," I said, pacing around my room. "You had me there for a second, I admit it, but I know your voice, you stinker!"

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Fifteen, same as you! Enough already, seriously, Roxie. Are you three-way calling me?" I was starting to sweat again. If there is one thing I hate, it's getting punked on the phone.

"I am far from fifteen," the voice said. "We will be mailing you some parental consent forms to move forward with the next step, and I require your address, Allison. I have no time for adolescent behavior."

I didn't say anything. I was too confused.

"Your address?" the voice, which actually didn't sound remotely like Roxie's, repeated.

Knowing I was never allowed to give out my address to a stranger over the phone or the computer, I listened with some surprise to myself reciting my address.

"Return the forms promptly," she said when I finished. "And meanwhile, I have you down as unrepresented. It will be best for you if you keep that status. We are looking to discover new talent in this compet.i.tion."

"Okay," I said, and hung up not knowing really what had just happened, or what to believe.

9.

I CALLED CALLED R ROXIE FIRST. While her phone was ringing, I talked myself down. It was probably a prank, and if it wasn't, if somehow a person from zip zip had actually called me, I must have misunderstood-like maybe there was a fee for getting my picture taken that I hadn't realized I was supposed to pay or something. had actually called me, I must have misunderstood-like maybe there was a fee for getting my picture taken that I hadn't realized I was supposed to pay or something.

"Hey," Roxie said, picking up. "How's it going, Double Shot?"

"Um, fine," I said.

"You're not in trouble, are you?"

"Um, no," I said equally eloquently. My legs were shaking as I paced fast around the room, waiting for her to shriek that she had just gotten a callback from zip zip. If she did, should I tell her I had, too?

"You okay?" she asked. "You sound stressed. Still hyper-caffed?"

"No, no," I told her. "Well, maybe. Yeah. But...I was...It's the weirdest-you didn't just call me, did you?"

"No, I was just peeing. Why? Oh! Is your phone freaking out? Maybe it's the devil!"

"Probably," I said. "There wasn't a...We didn't..."

"Spit it out, Double Shot!"

"I just was thinking," I said. "When do you think we, or you, might hear from the, you know, people at the magazine?"

"Within the week," she said. "They move fast. If we don't hear anything by Thursday night, we're out. Hey, wouldn't it be so awesome if we both got into the running?"

"Yeah, wow, that would be, but..."

"I know, I know you're not into it, but trust me, it's so fun getting your picture taken for stuff like that. I've never done editorial, but even a catalogue-I mean, there's a lot of boring time, just sitting around, but you have all these people putting on your makeup and doing your hair and dressing you in wacky clothes, and the photographers are all like, 'Oh, you are so gorgeous'-well, most of them anyway-but trust me, it's great."

"I think I'd throw up," I said, feeling exactly that way already.

"Oh, look down your nose at the whole thing, you're probably right. It's not curing cancer. But the girl who got the cover in the teen issue last year has her own TV show starting next fall."

"Really?"

"Not even kidding. Anyway, the odds are never good on something like this, I know. You almost never get to be moe, right? My mom says all the time you just have to keep a good att.i.tude, but anyway just cross your fingers for me, okay? I could use a win."

I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes, and said, "Okay."

"You want to come swim or watch a movie or something?"

"No, I should deal," I mumbled.

"Okay. Call me later," she said, and hung up.

I stared at my phone for a few minutes, daring the devil to call me to check in. He didn't, so I called Jade back.

"h.e.l.lo, Allison," she said in her deep, raspy voice.

"h.e.l.lo, Jade," I said.

Then I waited.

"You weren't in school after first today," Jade said.

"No," I said, and nothing more, knowing that if I rushed her, Jade would just hang up on me and the whole episode would be needlessly extended. She was angry-obviously-again.

"Are you sick?"

"No," I said.

"So you cut?"

"Yeah," I said.

"With Roxanne Green?"

"Yup," I said. I was being more of a jerk than usual with her, and I knew it. I wasn't sure why. I guess I just wasn't in the mood.

"What did you and Roxanne Green do?" She kept saying Roxanne Green Roxanne Green as if it were the name of a bacterium. as if it were the name of a bacterium.

"We went into the city and became supermodels, and then we took drugs and prost.i.tuted ourselves. Then we had a coffee and came home."

She didn't respond.

"Kidding," I said. "We didn't take drugs."

"Listen, Allison. You can be sarcastic all you want, but you should know that your friends are worried about you."

"Worried?" I sat down on my couch, feeling the energy drain from my legs.

"It's just not like you," Jade said softly, her voice more confidential than condemning. "Cutting school? a.s.saulting a teacher? Hanging out with Roxanne Green? Acting all s.l.u.tty?"

"What are you talking about, s.l.u.tty? Me?" It had to be a joke. I'd never even come close to kissing a boy, or even flirting with one, unless you count getting hit by a mitten, or falling on my b.u.t.t. Which you really can't. The only thing was, Jade didn't joke. Especially not about s.l.u.ttiness.

"The way you've been strutting around lately," she said. "It's like, I don't know. Like you want to be somebody you're not. I love you the way you are; you know that. I don't know if you did something different with your makeup or what, but you look...different."

"I sold my cell phone to the devil to become gorgeous," I explained.

She didn't respond.

After a minute, I said, "Seriously, Jade. I had the weirdest dream the other night-"

She interrupted me. "Fine, Allison. Go ahead. Be sarcastic, fall in love with your own obnoxiousness. Hang with wild Roxanne Green and abandon your true friends. I shouldn't care, I guess, but you've been my best friend for a long time, so I-"

"I wasn't kidding," I tried to explain. "This has been the craziest week, and just now, a woman from zip zip magazine called and said they want me to..." magazine called and said they want me to..."