Gorgeous. Part 15

And then she signed out.

I sat in front of my computer for a few hours and, when I started twisting into a cramp, lay down on my bed, still watching the unchanging screen, cursing myself, wis.h.i.+ng I could go back and redo everything.

Eventually I apparently fell asleep, because I woke up in the dark, still dressed, tangled in the stuff on my bed, and saw the devil sitting languidly on my couch, waiting for me to focus. He was wearing a beautiful gray suit and a crisp white s.h.i.+rt, open at the collar, and looked utterly at ease.

"Rough night?" he asked.

"No," I said, squinting. "Yes."

"That's what I like," he said. "Contrary, but absolute."

I rubbed the heel of my right hand hard against my eyes. "It's all your fault, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"You're totally messing with my phone-making it ring at crazy times and not putting my messages through, forcing my parents to take it away from me..."

"Why would I do that?"

I thought for a second. "Perversity?"

He smiled. "My favorite word."

"Mine too," I admitted. "You know it's totally s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up my entire life, right?"

"Is it?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "And not to put too fine a point on it, but you promised I would be gorgeous in return. Remember?"

"And you are."

"No," I said. That's when I noticed he was flipping through the issue of zip zip I'd had tucked under my mattress. "That doesn't count." I'd had tucked under my mattress. "That doesn't count."

He c.o.c.ked his head at me. "You don't think being chosen by the top new magazine, and my personal favorite, as one of the most gorgeous teens of the year counts?"

"So it was because of you," I said.

"You were chosen because they thought you were gorgeous," he argued softly, still flipping pages.

"Yeah, right."

"It's true."

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Just visiting," he said, closing the magazine and smiling benignly with his lips closed. "As they say at the jail in Monopoly."

"What?" I asked.

He squinted his green eyes slightly. "Tyler Moss, hmm?"

"What about him?"

"Interesting," said the devil.

I sat up and crossed my legs. "In what way is Tyler Moss interesting?"

"Trust me," he said.

I laughed. "Oh, great advice. Trust you?"

He laughed, too, and said, "Touche."

We just sat there for a while not talking. It didn't occur to me to ask him if he was real or if I was dreaming, not until the next day. I was thinking instead about Roxie, and Jade, and my parents-how everybody was disappointed in me. How I had screwed everything up. What I really needed right then was somebody whose advice I could trust. And what I had instead was the devil, sitting on my couch.

Why was he really there? I started wondering, and then it hit me. This was it, end of the line. Our deal was completed. I got to be seen as gorgeous by seven people-I tried counting them up in my head-and now that my life was in the toilet because of his stupid games with my phone, and all my relations.h.i.+ps (which had admittedly never been so great to begin with) were wrecked because of it, he was done. The fun was finished.

So I'd be ugly again by morning.

Yeah? Screw him.

"You're not just visiting," I said, as Mom-like as I could, tough and icy. I should have known it would never last. I did know, had known all along. Was he expecting me to fight? Cry? No way.

"Why do you think I'm here, then?" he asked, cool as ever.

"To turn me back into a pumpkin? It must be past midnight. You got sick of playing with my ring tones. That's it, right? You came to break the deal?"

He placed the magazine on my couch and stretched his long legs out in front of him. "I never break my deals," he said.

"Oh. Point of honor?"

"If you wish," he said.

"Because by my count, it's not seven, or even six if I traded one. Roxie, maybe Tyler but I'm not sure, maybe that woman from zip zip, who else? Are you counting Susannah Millstein? Or those big gorillas from the party? Because I don't think those people count. If those are the six, fine, but I think I could be justified in asking for a recount."

"Is that what you you want, Allison?" he asked, all calm in contrast to me. "To end our little bargain? Were you hoping I came to return your phone to you?" want, Allison?" he asked, all calm in contrast to me. "To end our little bargain? Were you hoping I came to return your phone to you?"

"Can I have it?" I asked, untangling my fingers from my hair and unclenching my face. "You can get my parents to give it back?"

He arched one eyebrow.

"Or did you mean the other kind of I could have it back?"

"Is that what you want, Allison?" he asked.

I thought about it. Did I? If I actually could go back, would I want to?

"It's up to you," he said.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he said.

I scratched my knotted hair and tried to think, but found I couldn't. "What do you think I should do?" I asked him. He was the only one there. Who else could I turn to?

"Not everybody has your best interests at heart," he said. "Hard to tell who's who, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"So unless you're sure, you'll have to trust your own judgment."

"Oh, great," I said. "I'm the last one I'd trust. Let me ask you this, then. Just between us-is there any chance I could actually, you know, be chosen?"

"There is always a chance, until you take yourself out of the running."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay," he said back. "We'll leave it at that, then."

"I don't break my deals, either," I said.

He had strolled over to my door. "Perversity, indeed," he said, his lips curling into a smile as he left.

18.

I WOKE UP AGAIN WITH WOKE UP AGAIN WITH Quinn banging on my door. "I'm leaving in three minutes," she warned. Quinn banging on my door. "I'm leaving in three minutes," she warned.

I looked at the clock and cursed. She couldn't have woken me up fifteen minutes earlier? I had to rip off my clothes, pull on new ones, and brush my teeth all at the same time. I just left my room a wreck, for the first time ever. I didn't even care.

Roxie wasn't on the bus. Jade slid in next to me when she got on.

"We need to talk," she whispered.

"Fine," I said, hiding behind my hair. "Talk."

She took a deep breath. "This is not about Ty, just so you know. I don't even like him."

"Okay," I said.

"I like David Kornhaber," she said. "He asked me out yesterday and I said yes."

"Congratulations."

"Are you going out with Ty?" she asked.

"No," I said, still looking out the window, but starting to feel a bit like a jerk, being so cold.

"But you like him."

"Yeah," I said.

"You make a cute couple."

I shook my head. Jade always surprised me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. But, anyway, I'm really worried about you," she said quietly.

"Don't be," I answered.

"I'm your best friend," Jade whispered. "I love you, and I know you."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I do. And I know this is not you. You are nice, and reserved. You are neat and innocent and a little awkward maybe, but you are not like Roxie Green, all big and boastful and laughing out loud and strutting around like you love yourself."

I just sat there. She was right, of course. I had never walked around acting like I loved myself, not for years and years.

"If you want to dump me," Jade continued, and her voice cracked as she said, "that's okay...."

"Jade," I said.

She was crying silently, big round tears streaking down her soft cheeks.

"Jade, come on," I said. "I don't want to dump you."

She sniffled.

"I don't."

"Roxie Green is gorgeous," she whispered. "And she's fun, I'm sure, more fun than I am, I guess."

"No, it's not that," I said, putting my arm around Jade, who rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I got you in more trouble," she said.

"Well, you did," I told her, secretly relieved to know she was the one who told and not Quinn. "But I'll survive."

"Good," Jade said. "Are we okay?"

"We're okay," I a.s.sured her. We got off the bus and walked into school together. She organized her stuff at her locker while I looked around for Roxie, and tried to think of what to say to her.

I finally saw her as Jade and I were heading in to first period, with Serena trying to squeeze between us.