The Sullivans: Always On My Mind Part 12

Lori told herself she shouldn't feel so weird around him now. Not when it had just been one little dance. But, oh, what a dance it had been. And when she closed her eyes, she'd be returning to it in her daydreams for a very long time.

Trying desperately to act like it was no big deal, she said, "You're a good dancer." Knowing that compliment was far too grudging for just how talented he was on his feet, she amended it to say, "Actually, you're a fantastic dancer."

The last thing she expected him to do was say, "Thank you," then reach out to brush a strand of hair from her cheek and push it behind her ear.

She s.h.i.+vered at his touch. Didn't he know just how dangerous this territory was that he was heading into with her? First the dance, and now a touch so gentle, so sweet, that it tore at her already weak heart. She knew how to deal with rough, rude Grayson. But this? She had no idea what to do now...especially not when she coupled his sudden tenderness with the way he'd touched her-as if she was precious.

"Where-" she began, but the way he was gazing down at her with such dark eyes had her losing her train of thought. Oh G.o.d, this was such a bad idea. She needed to keep on track. He was her boss. She was his farmhand. He was country. She was city. When they weren't kissing, they were both driving each other crazy. "Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"Years of ballroom dancing lessons."

For a moment she thought he was kidding, but then she remembered what he'd told her about where he'd come from. It was just that he was such a part of the land, such a cowboy at heart, had such a love for the farm, that she kept forgetting about his previous life in New York City.

What he'd created all by himself out here in the wilds of Pescadero was truly amazing. Maybe at first she hadn't appreciated just how much hard work went into taking care of his animals, his crops, his crew, the customers who depended on the food he grew for them, but after a week of working with him, she did now.

"Dance with me again, Lori."

She should say no. All she needed to do was put her lips into the right position and breathe out the word. Lord knew she'd had enough practice saying the word, not only as a child, but also during the past week to Grayson whenever he'd been acting unreasonable and she'd been a brat for the sheer pleasure of annoying him.

But now, when it felt like her entire future, along with the safety of her heart, rested on a little two-letter word, she just couldn't say it. She couldn't get her feet to work, either, to walk her out of the barn, so that she could leave Grayson and his cowboy hat and boots and pigs and Sweetpea-the-cat behind.

And maybe, she found herself thinking as the waltz continued, he had some sort of previously agreed-upon arrangement going with the band, because when he drew her back into his arms in front of the lemonade table and the wide-eyed teenagers, she couldn't seem to catch her breath.

Being with Grayson was so simple and yet so complicated all at the same time. He made her want to stomp and yell...but he'd also just given dancing back to her when she'd thought that dream, that love, might be gone forever.

Apart from her twin sister, she'd never met anyone whom she hated and loved in the same breath.

Love.

Oh G.o.d, she was falling in love with him.

No! She couldn't.

Not him.

Not here.

And not when she knew he was not only still grieving his loss, but also that he might very well choose to grieve forever.

All the strength Lori hadn't been able to find a few moments earlier flooded her as panic took hold. She was out of his arms like a shot, moving so quickly toward the big, open barn doors that she skidded in her heels and barely caught herself on the wall before she went down on her b.u.t.t in front of everyone. Kicking off her heels and leaving them on the barn floor, she didn't notice whether anyone was watching her flee, couldn't feel anything but the pressure of that love she could no longer deny coming down over her chest to wrap tightly around her heart.

No. No. No.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she love someone who would love her back? Why couldn't she have what her brothers and twin had? Why couldn't she find a lover, a friend, someone who would always have her back, someone who would give up absolutely everything for her...and someone for whom she would give up absolutely everything? Why couldn't she be one half of two people who didn't need anything but each other?

That was all she wanted. It was all she'd ever wanted.

Instead, she was wild.

She didn't think before acting.

She talked too much.

And she fell too fast.

Lori was running away from the barn dance, sprinting for home, when it hit her midstride that what had started to feel like her home wasn't hers at all.

It was Grayson's. Everything was his. This land. The animals.

Oh G.o.d, even her heart was his.

And still she ran, barely feeling the dirt, the gra.s.s, the sticks beneath her bare feet. The firm muscles in her legs, the power of her lungs, had always made her strong. But Grayson, she found out a breath later when his arms came around her and he lifted her off the ground and against his chest, was at least as strong.

"You can't run from me," he told her in the middle of the field beneath a dark purple sky as he held onto her.

Lori had always given herself entirely over to love. She'd believed it would make everything okay, make everything work out in the end. But it didn't. It hadn't. And she knew she shouldn't be stupid enough to make that mistake again.

"Yes, I can," she said as she fought his hold, as she tried to get back on solid ground where she only had herself to rely on, where she could do whatever it took to keep herself safe.

"Not tonight, Lori." His lungs were pumping just as hard as hers were from the run and from the struggle to keep her with him. "I know you're not going to stay, but please don't run from me tonight." She made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. "Please," he begged again, "just give me tonight."

Maybe it was the fact that, for the second time in one night, he'd actually asked for something rather than just demanding it from her. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, like he'd be lost without her. Maybe it was the fact that their dances together had solidified something that couldn't possibly be put into words: a connection between two people who were, whether they wanted to be or not, a perfect fit. At least for a little while-while their lives collided.

Maybe it was simply that falling in love wasn't something Lori would ever be able to turn away from, regardless of just how much pain she knew would be coming down the pike. And maybe, just maybe, as long as she never actually confessed to him how she felt, that would make it okay to give in to what she felt for Grayson for one night, beneath the moon, with the smell of wild gra.s.s and the ocean all around them...

Chapter Seventeen.

Grayson had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Lori, but it wasn't just physical anymore, even though her beauty while she'd led the entire community in her line dancing ch.o.r.eography had simply stunned him all over again, as though he was seeing her for the very first time.

He wanted to hear her laugh.

He wanted to feel her breathing softly as she fell asleep against him, her head on his shoulder.

And he wanted to see her spin a little dark-haired girl around and around in circles, a girl who looked like both of them, a spitfire who would yell "No" at them just as loudly as she would declare her love before falling asleep in the home they'd made for her and her brothers and sisters.

They were all crazy dreams-especially the last one. Dreams that would never be anything more than pure fantasy...but he already knew those fantasies were what would keep him going long after she left. He also knew that keeping her hidden away on his farm for more than a stolen week or two would unfairly deprive the world of her truly special gifts.

Lori made everything finally seem real, gave meaning to what had only seemed like routine before. It was why he was afraid to put her down, to let her toes touch the ground again. If she changed her mind about tonight, then all the brilliant colors she'd painted for him since she'd blown into his life like a hurricane would turn back to gray.

Even after watching her dance, he'd been trying to keep his distance, had been telling himself he needed to do whatever it took to resist her. But then, from across the barn Eric had come for her, to dance with her, to hold her in his arms...and Grayson had simply broken. He'd had to pull her into his arms, had to give in to how good he knew it would be to waltz with her, to put his arms around her and feel her lay her cheek against his shoulder.

He knew exactly why Lori had run from the barn dance-he wasn't the only one who had tripped and fallen into the last person on earth he should ever want to hold on to. But all the good reasons to stay away from her were lost in the visions of her laughing with men and women who never usually took to outsiders, the way every little boy and girl in the barn had fallen head over heels in love with her as she danced with them.

How could they not fall for her?

"I need to love you," he said against her hair, still holding her so tightly, even after she'd promised not to run from him tonight.

Of course, she surprised him all over again when she wrapped her legs around his waist and held as tightly to him as he was holding her.

"Love me, Grayson."

As he finally captured her lips, he realized she kissed the way she danced, without holding anything back. He wanted to lay her down in the gra.s.s, wanted to love her beneath the moon and the stars. But he couldn't stand the thought of her soft skin being scratched by sticks or rocks, so even as he kissed her, he was walking back toward his truck with Lori wrapped around him.

"Riding you is so much more fun than riding a horse," she said, laughing against his mouth.

The sound of her joy was so sweet that he couldn't keep moving forward, couldn't do anything but stand in the gra.s.s and wildflowers and kiss her.

"I put clean sheets on your bed today," she informed him with a naughty little smile when he finally pulled back from her sweet lips, her gorgeous face lit by the moonlight. "Let's go mess them up." And then she was unwrapping her legs from around his waist, saying, "Race you to the truck," and running off through the field.

Her long dark hair was flying out behind her as he chased her again, her limbs strong and fast as the satin of her dress tangled up in her beautiful legs, her laughter filling his heart until he was sure it was going to overflow. He reached out for her hand just as she reached back for him, and their fingers threaded together as he pulled her back into him for one more hot kiss.

He opened the pa.s.senger door of his truck for her, and this time when he helped her up, he let his hands roam across her perfect a.s.s, which she wiggled into his palms.

"You know," she said as he slid in behind the wheel seconds later, "I've never made love in a truck before."

G.o.d, he thought as the blood rushed hotter, faster, through his veins, it was tempting. So tempting to stay right here in this dark and deserted corner where he'd parked, and drag her onto his lap, even though he had been fantasizing all week long about making love to her in his bed.

Grayson had spent the past three years controlling everything. His farm. His animals. His emotions. His needs. But now, in the span of a few seconds, it was all slipping out of his grasp.

Because the mere thought of taking Lori in his truck was so potent that he couldn't do a d.a.m.ned thing to stop the Neanderthal lurking inside him from emerging to take. To claim. To possess.

By the time he had his hands on her and was dragging her onto his lap, hers were already on him, moving up his chest. "Grayson." She breathed his name into the crook of his neck, the same place she'd licked on the ride during the storm a couple of days ago.

Though he was on the verge of ripping off her dress, when she twined her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer with desire raging heated and wild all around them, for the moment, just holding her tight was not only enough...it was more than he'd ever thought to have.

I love you.

Lori knew she could never say the words aloud. Not only was Grayson not even close to being in an emotional position to give his love to her, but he wouldn't be able to accept her love, either.

Only, she'd never loved anyone because of what she could get back from them. And, as she pressed her cheek against Grayson's and felt his breath move with hers, slower now as they shared a perfect moment of closeness, she was shocked to realize that she'd never felt anything this strong, this deep and true, for any other man.

Because what she felt for the man holding her so tightly-as though he was worried she'd disappear if he didn't make absolutely certain to keep her there with him-was richer, and so much sweeter, than anything she'd ever felt before.

She wanted to heal Grayson, wanted to give him her heart, her love, until they finally overshadowed tragedy and pain.

She wanted to make love with him for hours and hours, knew from his kisses alone that she'd never get her fill of being intimate with him.

She wanted to be his partner and have him trust that she would be there for him in a way that no one else had ever been.

And, oh, how she wanted to see him smile. One perfect smile. One full-bodied laugh. And then she'd know that she'd given him something important, something real, something that mattered.

When he started to rain kisses down over her cheek, and then her chin and neck, she used her dancer's flexibility to arch way back so that he could have unfettered access to even more of her.

"d.a.m.n you for being so tempting," he growled with a nip at the upper swell of her breast. "Fifteen minutes, that was all we needed to get back to my farm. Fifteen G.o.dd.a.m.ned minutes. Is that too much to ask? Is that too long for you to stop being so irresistible?"

Her heart swelled a little more at every irritated word that fell from his yummy lips. "Mmm," she said when she could finally find her breath again, "I was wondering where Mr. Crankypants went."

"I wanted to take my time with you tonight," he grumbled against her skin as he ran little biting kisses over her shoulder until she was shuddering with need. "But you're tempting me into taking you right here, right now."

Maybe it shouldn't have turned her on, the way he managed to be irritated with her even when they were making out, and yet it did. So, so much. Grayson had made her feel alive even when she believed she was dead to everything she'd once cared about.

She loved the idea of their being in his bed together, of all the wild and wicked ways they could love each other. But as his hands gripped her hips to pull her more tightly into him while he licked up the curve of her neck and sent thrill b.u.mps running over every inch of her, wasn't it somehow more fitting that they'd end up all over each other in the cab of his truck?

Their relations.h.i.+p had never followed the rules, not from the start, when she'd crashed into his fence post and he'd done everything to get her to leave but pick her up and toss her off his property. And even then, she'd seen something in his eyes that told her he wanted her, despite all the reasons he shouldn't. Not only a desire for her that matched hers for him, but a soul-deep longing that she also understood. All too well, even when those longings shouldn't make any sense.

Good thing she'd never cared much whether things made sense. No, she'd always simply followed her heart instead.

Amazingly, her heart had led her here. To Grayson's farm.

And into his arms.

"I did promise to be the best darn farmhand you've ever had," she reminded him in a husky voice that said as much about how badly she wanted him as any words she spoke. "I'll bet you never had one who could do this."

With one quick s.h.i.+mmy, she let the slim straps holding her dress up over her shoulders drop, the bodice covering her b.r.e.a.s.t.s falling down with it.

"Lori."

She thought she'd be prepared for his reaction this time. After all, he'd seen her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in the cabin during the storm, had tongued and teased them until she'd catapulted all the way over the edge of pleasure. But the way his eyes darkened and desire completely took him over as he gazed at her naked flesh...

No, she'd never get used to being stared at with such overwhelming hunger.

"How am I doing so far?" She reached out to brush her fingertips over the square line of his jaw. When he didn't answer, just kept staring at the rapidly tightening tips of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s until antic.i.p.ation had her nearly wild with needing his hands and mouth on her, she teased, "Would you say this is fine?" She purposely used the not-quite-compliment he'd given her so many times before now.

"Nothing has ever been better than this, Lori. Not one G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing."

Grayson s.h.i.+fted lower on his seat and covered one aching nipple with his mouth, then the other, then both at the same time as he cupped them in his large, strong hands. She arched into his sweet caresses, and groaned aloud when he raked his teeth over her.

He was so big and hard and wonderfully male between her thighs and as she rocked into him, she was already so close that even with her dress and panties still on, her arousal had grown big enough that all it would take was one more tug of his mouth over her and she'd be- "Oh G.o.d..."

Grayson was right there with her in an instant, one of his big hands sliding beneath her dress, up her bare leg and thigh, and inside her damp panties to help intensify the already shockingly sweet climax. With his thumb on her c.l.i.toris and two of his fingers slipping in and out of her, her initial o.r.g.a.s.m gave way to another, even bigger one.

As she spiraled off and off and off, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him with every ounce of pa.s.sion she possessed. He kissed her back just as desperately as he continued to stroke between her thighs, both of their mouths rough and hungry.

When her inner muscles had mostly stopped pulsing in the aftermath of her double climax, she realized just how out of breath she was, that she was panting as hard as if she'd just done all thirty-two of the Black Swan's fouettes.

"My G.o.d, you overwhelm me," he said, burying his face against her breastbone as he slowly slipped his hand from between her legs to pull her tightly to him again.

She felt him work to regain his control so that they would actually make it out of his truck and into his bed their first time. But Lori knew she couldn't wait for that anymore, that this was exactly how things were supposed to happen, with both of them too overwhelmed to think straight.

s.e.x with Grayson in his truck was wild. Crazy.