The Sullivans: Always On My Mind Part 11

"I'm still so d.a.m.ned sorry for grabbing you the way I did in the stables, and I never should have pushed you up against the door just now." It took every ounce of self-control he had left to step away from her. "I understand if you don't want to go to the barn dance with me now, Lori."

He felt awkward and too formal, as though he couldn't get anything right with her. He didn't deserve to have her on his arm, didn't deserve any more of her smiles, or the sound of her laughter as it floated through the air.

Lori stared at him as if she'd never seen him before. "Are you actually asking me what I want to do?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Lori. You know that."

Her smile came so suddenly he actually felt the wind knocked out of him at the beautiful force of it. "Of course I know that, but it's so fun to see if I can make you lose it," she teased, and amazingly, his gut untwisted a little. "Plus, it keeps Sweetpea entertained when you stomp around and smoke starts coming out of your ears-doesn't it, baby?" she said to the cat, who was watching the two of them from the bed of pillows and blankets Lori had made for her on the floor by a heating vent.

"Don't let her pull you into this discussion, Mo," he warned the cat.

Lori laughed out aloud, a sweet waterfall of joy that untwisted his gut even further. "Aha! You finally talked to her like she's a person." She clapped her hands. "Just because of that, I'll go with you to the barn thing."

She wasn't pus.h.i.+ng him anymore on his wife's crash, so he wouldn't push her on the fact that she couldn't even say the word dance.

But he wanted to. And that was what worried him most-even more than the desire over which he had no control whatsoever. It was why he was taking her to the barn dance, after all-because he'd heard her on the phone with her sister and knew how badly she missed dancing, how important it really was to her.

For three years he'd been so careful to keep himself from getting close to anyone, but Lori had barged into his life and refused to take no for an answer when he'd told her he didn't have time to train a farmhand who had no experience and was worse than useless.

Somehow she'd gotten under his skin.

And he didn't know how to get her out again.

He was frowning when the soft, oh-so-sweet touch of her hand on his jaw finally made him stop and look down at her beautiful face again. "I've thought a lot about what you said to me in the stables," she said in a soft voice. "It turns out you were right about it being easier for me to focus on helping you rather than looking at my own life."

"Don't." He covered her hand with his. "Please don't let me off the hook like that. I f.u.c.ked up, Lori. And you shouldn't forgive me."

The last thing he expected her to do was smile up at him. "You just said it yourself-you can't keep me from doing whatever I want." She lightly stroked his cheek. "And I want to forgive you. But only for what happened in the stables. Because what just happened here against the door..." Her eyes flashed with heat. "Well, I can't think of any part of your kisses that you have to be sorry about."

With that, she turned and walked out the door toward his truck. Still reeling from everything that had just been said between them, it was a h.e.l.l of a job for Grayson to try to keep his eyes from wandering to her hips as he followed her, especially when he had a bad feeling that she wasn't wearing anything at all beneath the form-fitting dress.

Sweet Lord, what he'd give to touch her naked skin again, to press not only his hands, but also his mouth, to her. To all of her.

Before she could reach for the door handle of his truck, he opened it for her, then offered a hand to help her up. She looked surprised, but she placed her hand in his.

He forgot to let go as he looked down at her fingernails. "You've put on nail polish." And she smelled like vanilla and spice, so sweet and sultry that he was barely able to tamp down the overpowering urge to bury his face in the curve of her neck and breathe her in.

"Mascara, too," she said as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "I didn't want people to think you couldn't do any better than a girl who didn't know how to take care of herself."

G.o.d, he was so mesmerized by the flick of her tongue against her glossy upper lip that he could barely remember why he'd taken her hand. Finally, he realized they were standing beside his truck and the door was open.

"Can you climb in okay with those heels on?"

She shot him a sa.s.sy look. A look that owned every last letter of her naughty nickname.

"I can do absolutely anything in these heels."

As he closed her door and walked around the back of the truck, he had to adjust himself in his jeans to try to hide his hard-on. The vision of making love to Lori while she was wearing nothing but those red spike heels wouldn't go away as they drove from his farm to his neighbor's property fifteen minutes away.

Grayson parked in a dark corner behind a large grouping of shrubs at the very edge of the parking area. When Lori got out of his truck, it was so dark that she asked, "Are you sure there's a party here tonight?" Before he could answer, she walked around the thick shrubs and finally saw the brightly lit barn, and the colored lanterns that were placed along the path from the parking area.

"Look at all these lights and the lanterns and the decorations! I swear, it looks like the moon has been hung above the barn just for tonight. Why didn't you tell me it would be like this?"

Because he'd never appreciated any of this until right this very second when he could see it through her eyes-eyes that saw the beauty in absolutely everything. But instead of telling her that, he simply held out a hand. "Sounds like the band is already playing. Ready to head in?"

She looked uncertain for a moment before nodding. When she put her hand in his, he realized that holding her that way was shockingly right, as though she really was his girl and he was taking her out for a night of dancing, country style.

Chapter Fifteen.

Lori loved how it felt to hold Grayson's hand. He wasn't giving her his trust, wasn't baring his soul to her and letting her try to help him, but even though holding hands was something small, it wasn't nothing.

Yes, she knew it would be smarter to keep her walls completely up with him. Especially since he'd already proved he knew how to cut her to the quick, that all it took was a few well-placed words and a disgusted expression to rip her heart to shreds.

But now that she had some insight into what he'd suffered, how could she just turn away from him?

Just then, she stumbled over a rock in the dark and Grayson caught her in his arms. And when she looked into the barn over his shoulder, she realized everyone was gawking at them.

"I don't think you'll have any problem convincing the neighbors that you're off the market," she murmured as she drew back from him.

"Good," was all he said as he brought her fully inside the barn.

The barn was just as beautifully lit up inside as it was outside. She saw the hay bales lining the large s.p.a.ce, the country band playing up on the stage at the far end of the building, the dance floor that had been cleared in front of them, and the drink and food stations positioned all throughout the rest of the barn.

She was the only person in satin and heels, although there were plenty of sequins on display, so at least she'd gotten one thing right. She'd intended to make Grayson look ridiculous...only now she was the one who had to get through the night looking like she should be at the Oscars rather than at a community dance. Whereas Grayson looked exactly right in his dark jeans, denim s.h.i.+rt, cowboy boots, and hat.

"Grayson, glad you could make it." A man in Wranglers and a big black cowboy hat that matched his s.h.i.+ny black boots patted Grayson on the shoulder hard enough that she could feel it vibrate through her.

"Place looks great, Joe," Grayson responded. "I'd like you to meet Lori."

The man tipped his hat to her. "Pretty girls are always welcome in my barn." He winked at her. "Just don't tell my wife I said that."

"What are you not supposed to tell me?" asked an attractive middle-aged woman with honey-blonde hair wearing a jean skirt that fell to her knees and a leather vest over a fitted white s.h.i.+rt. She smiled at Grayson, but her eyes chilled a bit as she took in Lori's outfit.

"That I've never been to a barn dance before," Lori said with a smile that she hoped didn't betray how out of place she felt. She hadn't met this woman at the CSA pick-up, but everyone else had been so nice there she had no reason to think this woman wouldn't be nice, too. "Everything looks amazing."

"Thank you," the other woman said with perfect politeness, before turning back to Grayson and saying, "I'm so pleased you finally decided to come to one of our dances. You'll have to tell me what changed your mind."

Lori looked at Grayson in surprise. He'd never been to one of these before? He'd made it sound like they hadn't had a choice. What reason could he have had to force her to come with him?

But before he could answer the woman's question, more people started coming up to talk to him. He was, she realized, a very popular man. And yet, they hadn't had a single visitor on the farm in the week she'd been working for him. It was almost as if everyone was scared of ruining the perfect wall of solitude he'd built up around himself over the past three years.

A short while later, a little girl with pigtails skirted through the adults' legs to touch her dress, but just as Lori was about to bend down to say h.e.l.lo, the frosty woman pulled her away.

I'm not here to cause any trouble, Lori wanted to tell her. All I want to do is help Grayson, I swear.

The band began to play a song by one of her favorite bands, and from around the men with whom Grayson was talking about tractors, she could see the people on the dance floor trying to do a line dance. She craned her neck to see better, but her view was impeded where they were standing.

She felt Grayson's thumb brush lightly across her palm as he said, "You want to dance."

He said it as if he didn't know that she wasn't interested in dancing ever again, as if she hadn't already told him that dancing meant nothing to her anymore.

"No," she said firmly, even though she was getting that little itch in the soles of her feet that always happened when just the right song was playing. "It's just that if, instead of doing a brush kick on the two, they pivoted-"

She realized, too late, that he was giving her a funny look, and clamped her lips shut.

"Sounds like you know this dance pretty well," he pointed out.

She would have tried to play off her reaction to the line dancing, if right then Joe's frosty wife hadn't said, "Funny, you don't look like the line-dancing type."

Lori had never been known for her patience. And it had been one heck of a week. Between having to finally face what a total douchebag her ex was, and then the trials of not only learning to work Grayson's farm, but also trying to push away her intense attraction to him, she was left holding on to an extremely short string.

"I was the ch.o.r.eographer for Lost Highway's video." She paused a beat to appreciate the shock registering on the woman's face. "This is my line dance."

The next thing she knew, Grayson was giving her a gentle shove in the direction of the dance floor and she was standing in front of the group of line dancers. Quickly picking out a couple of teenagers who had good timing, she explained who she was and what she'd like them to try to do with her. Scanning her dress and heels, they both looked at her like she was crazy, but when she started dancing, doing the moves as easily in her heels and fancy dress as she would have in boots and denim, their mouths dropped open.

As she ran through the moves of the line dance, a fancy stranger in the midst of a very tight-knit community, she realized she was the only one moving on the dance floor as everyone stopped to gape at her...apart from a really cute little girl Lori recognized from the CSA pickup, who didn't seem to realize that anything strange was happening at all. With the music pumping through her veins, not the least bit daunted, Lori grabbed a teenage boy's arm so that he could twirl her around in a modified do-si-do. By the time she let him go, the teen was grinning and jumping in beside her, picking up each move she'd just done perfectly.

Soon the two of them turned to half a dozen and, as the band launched back into the song from the beginning, it seemed like every person in the barn was claiming a spot on the dance floor to kick up their heels and laugh with the person twirling in their arms.

Grayson stood against the wall and watched as Lori worked her way through the dancers to help get them back on track and to call out the moves when things got a little hairy.

My G.o.d, she could dance. He'd never seen anyone move like her, not even in his old life, when he'd had the chance to mix with professional dancers from time to time.

Her dress was clinging slightly to her skin now as the barn heated up from all of the dancers, and her long, dark hair was starting to curl against the damp nape of her neck. Watching the way she moved so effortlessly in the heels and beautiful dress gave him a clear view into the world she'd come from. One that he guessed was very similar to the one in which he used to live in New York City.

And yet, she'd been just as comfortable in jeans and a T-s.h.i.+rt, and even though she muttered about going into the pigpen, he knew she secretly loved mucking around like a little kid let loose in a mud puddle after a storm.

Grayson honestly couldn't choose which version he liked better-the made-up Lori was just another side of her, yet another one he hadn't been prepared for. All he knew was that she was beautiful...and that, somehow, despite everything he'd done to try to stop it from happening, she'd managed to steal his heart one sa.s.sy smile at a time.

Chapter Sixteen.

Applause rang out in the barn at the end of the line dance that had gone on for a good fifteen minutes straight. Lori loved how the little kids didn't think twice about wrapping their arms around her waist to hug her.

"You're so pretty, ma'am. What's your name?"

Lori smiled down at the little girl with the big brown eyes and bright pink cheeks, the same one who had wanted to touch her dress earlier. She couldn't have been more than four years old, but she'd been out there dancing up a storm, following the moves even better than most of the bigger kids and adults.

"Lori. What's yours?"

"LuLu." She barely paused for breath before saying, "You'll be here for the next barn dance to teach us some more, won't you, Ms. Lori?"

Lori felt a lump descend into the bottom of her stomach. Could she stay here forever? Could she hide out beneath the beautiful blue sky and have dirt under her fingernails every day? Could she dream about more of Grayson's kisses?

Still feeling the rush of the dance floor beneath her feet, the thrill of moving her body to the music, instead of answering the little girl's questions, Lori smiled down at her and asked, "Do you want to fly?"

The girl's pigtails bounced as she nodded. "Oh yes!"

Lori held out her hands and when the little girl took them she winked and said, "Hold on tight." And then she started swinging them both around in a circle, a perfect pirouette with a giggling partner's sweaty little hands grasped tightly in hers. Again and again they spun until she thought the little girl must be getting dizzy, and finally put her down.

"Mama, Mama, did you see me?" the girl said to her mother as soon as her little cowboy boots. .h.i.t the floor. "I was flying."

LuLu's mother no longer looked frosty as she stroked her daughter's cheek. "Like a beautiful bird, baby." As she hoisted her daughter up into her arms, the woman finally smiled at Lori. "You're a wonderful dancer. Thank you for teaching all of us how to do the line dance tonight."

Couples quickly paired up all around Lori as she stood and watched the mother and daughter walk away with a longing that frankly stunned her. When she'd been line dancing, she'd felt like she belonged, that she wasn't just some city girl playing around on a farm.

But now that aloneness came back to hit her smack dab in the center of her chest with a hard thud.

The lump in her throat grew bigger as she caught sight of Eric grinning at her from across the barn. She smiled back and when he started to move toward her with the clear intention of asking her to dance, she fought to keep her smile in place. Eric was sweet. He was good looking. He was a gentleman. He was everything she should want, especially in the wake of the snake her ex had turned out to be.

But, stupid her, who did she wish was coming for her on the dance floor, instead? Grayson, who was more deeply wounded than any man she'd ever met before.

When Eric was less than a dozen feet away and she was just about to make herself move toward him, a large hand suddenly took hers and she was spun into a hard chest.

The very hard chest she'd been so foolishly dreaming of.

Lori was so stunned-and so pleased to be close to Grayson again as he led her in a country waltz-that she simply laid her head against his shoulder and moved with him.

Just one dance. That was all it was.

One perfect, beautiful, impossibly romantic dance with a man who made her heart pound like crazy and her brain turn to mush.

There were a million reasons why she shouldn't be here in his arms, moving to the music. And yet she was so dazed by the sure way he led her across the floor, so wrapped up in the dance, in the feel of his body against hers, his muscles contracting against her, that there was no room for thinking, no s.p.a.ce to do anything but be putty in his talented hands.

Second by second he'd taken over more of her thoughts, her dreams, until she had begun to forget what her life had been like before he was in it. All she knew now was that it couldn't have been as full of sparks, emotion...or desire.

Even the waltz, a dance she'd done a thousand times before, both on stage and off, had never been this wonderful. This special.

When the song finally came to an end, Grayson drew her tightly into his arms and held her there for a long moment. The band had started to play yet another waltz but she knew she couldn't survive another dance with him.

Not if she wanted even one small piece of her heart to remain intact when she finally left his farm to go back to her real life.

She tried to move away, but he wouldn't let go of her hand. "You've been dancing for a while now with no break. You need lemonade."

He didn't ask her if she wanted one, just took her to the table on the side of the room where the two teenagers she'd been line dancing with were flirting now. He got her a cup and he was right-she was thirsty, so she drank it.