Prarie Fire Part 22

Sarah was tired after her climb among the trees and rocks, but she began collecting the stones she would use to make a circle around her camp. Tima had told her to select rocks that felt right. Whenever Sarah lifted a rock from the ground, she placed a bit of cornmeal in its place. The cornmeal was her offering, a way of thanking the earth for its use. She had searched the area until she found a spot that made her feel strong and powerful, and she piled the rocks in the large flat clearing. She would not make her camp until first thing the next morning when she created the circle of stones, a version of the medicine wheel. Sunrise would add energy to the stones.

Sarah built a fire away from the area she intended to use for her camp. Once she made her circle, she would create a hearth within its protection. Throughout her quest, she would sit up at night and feed the fire. During the day, she was to sleep. Keeho had taught Sarah that the spirits enjoyed the cloak of darkness and were more apt to visit during the night. Besides, predators like bobcats and pumas did most of their hunting at night.

Sarah prepared herself for the evening with a smudging ceremony. She would use this to remove negative spirits from her camp, while inviting the positive spirits to stay. Keeho had demonstrated and explained the ceremony in detail to her a number of times, and she was able to perform it from memory.

Sarah gathered some coals from the fire and placed them in a clay bowl that Keeho had given her. She tossed sage and sweetgra.s.s onto the glowing embers so the herbs would smolder and not burn up right away. To keep the embers hot, she fanned the bowl with the hawk feather she had received on her first quest. She fanned the smoke toward her chest, then over her head. This way, she drew out and away any negative feelings within her heart. Finally, she offered up the bowl to the four directions.

She sat for a while and absently fed small sticks into the fire. She thought and prayed, then she thought some more. She took advantage of the chance to walk around, wandering along the top of the sandstone cliffs and around the ancient cedar trees with their twisted and deformed trunks. Once she built her circle of stones, she was only supposed to leave when absolutely necessary. She was surprised that the afternoon turned into night so quickly. What surprised her even more was when the first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon, she was still awake.

Sarah offered up more smoke and went about building her camp. First, she arranged the circle of stones. Near the north end of the circle, she made a hearth for a fire. In the middle, she built a lean-to of wood poles and cedar fronds. She set an opening in the stones to the east so she could leave the circle when necessary. Every time she re-entered the circle, however, she replaced the stones as if closing the door to a cabin. Without another thought after the camp's completion, she curled onto her fur blanket and fell asleep.

Sarah awoke a number of times during the day. The bright sun and the constant chatter of the birds nearly kept her awake, but she refused to budge from her sleeping robe. She knew that she would need every bit of rest to stay alert at night and feed the fire. Finally, as late afternoon pa.s.sed and the sun dipped low in the horizon, she made a trip to the bushes. She was refreshed and prepared for her journey. The growling in her stomach was annoying but not painful. She hoped that she would return to the clan village before the growls turned into pangs.

Sarah heard movement in the brush in front of her. She carefully slipped her hand around the handle of the bone knife that Keeho had given her. She watched, not moving, as the branches quivered. Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat as an animal burst through the dense thicket. A large buck looked at Sarah. He stopped a dozen feet from her circle and sniffed the air suspiciously. Sarah found it odd since deer usually didn't go anywhere near fire. The animal acted as if she wasn't there. There was additional movement in the bushes. Sarah watched as eight does came from the same thicket and followed the buck down a narrow path into the trees.

"Well, that was good to get the heart beating." Sarah laughed aloud. She released her grip on the knife and fed some more wood into the fire. She wondered how long it would be before one of the clan mothers came to her.

She made herself comfortable, sitting cross-legged before the fire. She was supposed to think of nothing, empty her mind, and call to the mothers. This was supposed to signal her willingness to learn the medicine way. Clearing her mind of the things she thought about every day was a ch.o.r.e. She knew that people depended on her and the outcome of this quest.

Sarah didn't have any expectations regarding this quest. She had many hopes, however. She believed that the future of the Chahta people depended on her in more ways than opening up the prairie and predicting a fire. True, she had found a way to convince the cattlemen to remove their fences, but the vision she'd had that day in the prayer lodge felt like so much more. She remembered every detail. How, with each buffalo's death, a member of the clan disappeared. She also recalled Tima's plea for help in the vision. She felt the weight of responsibility for these people who were now her people.

Sarah felt her head nod and she jerked it upright again. "Okay, looks like meditation with my eyes closed could be trouble."

She settled herself again and stared into the orange flames. Now she knew why Tima had suggested that she collect small twigs and sticks to constantly feed into the fire. The large limbs would have lasted longer, but then she would have nothing to do. Tossing the twigs into the fire kept her focused and awake.

A noise in the brush pulled her mind from its empty wandering once more. "Not you again," Sarah said. She chuckled until an animal popped into view.

Sarah froze and was afraid of taking in another breath. A large muscled puma stood before her where the deer had been. The cat sniffed, its nose raised high in the air. The puma came to the edge of her circle, its paws barely making a sound as they padded along on the soft earth. Its muzzle was coated in blood, and she thought that was why the cat hadn't attacked. Perhaps it had just eaten.

The animal stood there looking at Sarah, then sniffed the stones that she had put into place that morning. It opened its mouth and gave a yowl. The sound wasn't similar to the loud cries Sarah had heard big cats make. This was soft, as if the puma had yawned. It plunked down on the ground, the dirt rising around it as it settled in place.

Sarah could only a.s.sume that the animal wasn't hungry. She realized that there was nothing to stop her from becoming next on the menu. She reached for her knife again. It was right beside her, but the cat looked up at her as if knowing what she was doing. It growled under its breath, licked its paws, then rubbed them across its face. The cat repeated the procedure until its face was clean of the blood.

Sarah held the sharp knife tightly, but she knew that even if she managed to surprise the cat, it was too large for her to fend off with only a knife. She watched as the puma cleaned itself and looked around, apparently surprised to find Sarah still there. It made the soft yowl again.

Sarah tried to remember everything she learned about dealing with predators. She couldn't seem to come up with anything that would help her in this situation. The cat stared hard at her again and licked its muzzle. It appeared to Sarah as though the puma was considering if she would make a good meal. She decided to try the one thing that had worked for her when people were involved-reason.

"Hi there," Sarah said. The cat's whiskers twitched at the sound of her voice. "I bet this part of the forest belongs to you, huh?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

The cat jumped up, causing Sarah to jerk back in response. The cat walked around the perimeter of Sarah's camp and lifted its nose into the air once more, then returned to its previous position, lying outside the circle of stones. The expression on the cat's face looked like a question to Sarah. Why shouldn't I eat you? was what Sarah's mind heard.

"You can see how very small I am," Sarah began. "I wouldn't make much of a meal for a bobcat, let alone a big puma such as yourself." She searched her brain for some better reasons, and the perfect one hit her. She hoped those deer took their position within the sacred hoop seriously.

"Besides, human flesh isn't very healthy for you. From what I hear, a nice fat deer would be much better than little, stringy me. Don't you agree?"

The cat blinked in a bored fas.h.i.+on and Sarah, inside her head, heard, Go on, you said something about deer?

"You know, a herd of deer came through this spot not too long ago. They followed that path over there." Sarah pointed nervously to the path that led into the trees. "They're still around, I bet, and in the circle of life, there are so many more of them than of me."

The puma licked its muzzle two or three times and Sarah had a feeling it was thinking of dinner. The cat rose and looked around the camp, then back at Sarah. She swore the look said, Now in which direction did they go?

Sarah lifted a shaking finger toward the path and the puma looked in that direction. It offered up another soft yowl and padded off into the underbrush. Sarah threw some more wood into the fire until the flames were high, then she fell back onto her sleeping robe. She was sure the chattering of her teeth echoed across the cliffs.

Sarah sat before her small fire in a dejected mood. She always became discouraged when things didn't happen the way she expected them to, though her disappointment never lasted long. This was the last night of her quest. She would have to return to Tima empty-handed in a way. Sarah had sat, her mind clear, waiting in the stillness. Still, none of the clan mothers had appeared to her. Now it was difficult to keep from thinking about how thirsty she was. The hunger wasn't so bad. After the second day, she hadn't felt hungry at all.

Sarah sighed and tossed a few more sticks into the fire. She had chanted some of the old words that Keeho taught her, but still there was only silence around her camp. The puma had never returned, but the deer had. She felt guilty when the herd pa.s.sed by her camp again, minus one of its number. The buck looked at her the same way as the large cat had, as if it understood. He had lowered his antlers in her direction as if to say his people were aware of their place on the sacred hoop.

Sarah dropped her chin into the palm of her hand and stared at the fire. She closed her eyes and fought back tears. "Please, sacred mother, show yourself," she muttered in exasperation.

"Finally!" A voice sounded in front of Sarah.

Sarah opened her eyes as her mouth formed the shape of an O.

"Sakli, I am The One Who Keeps The Wisdom. The clan mothers have sent me as an emissary to offer you inclusion into the way. You have kept me waiting, little one."

"But I've been here for days!" Sarah said. "I've stilled myself and cleared my mind and I-" She stopped abruptly. The soft sound of laughter met her ears and she covered her face with both hands. "I forgot to ask you to come to me," she admitted at last. "All this time I was waiting for you to come to me and-"

"I was waiting for an invitation," the old woman finished. "But we are together at last and we have much to accomplish."

"But I have to return to Tima's camp by midday tomorrow," Sarah said.

"Have no fear, little one. You will find that time moves differently for those who walk in the spirit world than it does for the earth walkers. You have made a declaration to learn the way for the sake of your clan. I am only one of the medicine women from the original thirteen clans. Over the course of your life, I will visit you often, as will the other mothers. It will take many winters to attain the knowledge necessary to be a true medicine woman."

"When will I learn all I need to know?" Sarah asked.

"On the day that you pa.s.s over to the sacred place, you will have learned all you need to know."

Sarah smiled. "So what you're saying is that I'll never stop learning. I'll never know all there is to know about being a medicine woman, even until the day I die."

"You are an intelligent young woman, Sakli. This Chahta clan has chosen well. Now we have work to do. Are you willing to accept the sacrifices necessary to follow the way?"

"I suppose I would want to know what kind of sacrifices we're talking about."

"To become a mother to the clan, you will be expected to give your all to the original mothers."

"And what will I receive? What will the mothers do for me in return?"

"We will teach you to see."

"I don't know." Sarah smiled. "I think I've been able to see pretty well for some time now all on my own."

The older woman chuckled at Sarah's humor. "Sakli, the mothers will teach you to see what is beyond the ability of an earth walker. We will teach you to see truth and beauty, as well as ugliness and lies. We will always be there to comfort you in your pain and not least of all, we will teach you to see and heal the pain of others."

Sarah thought for a moment. "I understand and I accept your offer."

"Good. Now we shall begin."

Suddenly, Sarah and the old woman were standing before a wall of rock. They were high up on a cliff face and Sarah looked down to the ground below. She could just make out her camp with its circle of stones and campfire. The outer rock ledge on which they stood glowed orange as the sandstone captured the light from a torch in the old woman's hand. Sarah looked before her to see an opening, like a doorway, carved into the rock. She raised her head and saw many such dwellings carved into the rocks.

The old woman indicated the entrance and handed Sarah the torch. "The mothers see in you, Sakli, the heart of a medicine woman. It is important that we also know what you see in yourself. Travel through the kiva and I will be waiting for you on the other side. If you turn back to exit through this door, then you cannot be accepted into the way."

"What's in there?" Sarah asked as she strained to see into the darkened opening.

"Friends...enemies...family. To see the end of any journey, one must see the truth. Hurry now. It will take you many days to find the truth."

Sarah turned to face the old woman once more but found herself alone on the rock ledge. She realized there was nothing to do but go forward. She clutched the torch in her sweaty grasp and stepped into the dark lodge. The same orange glow appeared when the coppery flames from her torch danced upon the walls. Her ears picked up a soft sound, low like the beat of a drum. She turned in a circle to find the source of the sound.

"It is the heartbeat of Mother Earth." The voice was a deep alto that Sarah knew well, but when she turned to look, it wasn't Devlin's face. The black-and-white dancer now whispered in her ear. "The chuka reminds you of a womb. This is your rebirth, Sarah. Happiness mixes with pain. If you accept the joy, you must be able to stand the pain. Can you truly face all that the truth might show you?"

"Yes," Sarah said with an intense confidence she didn't feel. When she looked again, the dancer had disappeared.

Sarah kept moving through the maze of rooms. She saw images of those whom she loved and faces from her past. Some of the spirits spoke to her, but most of them watched with lifeless expressions as she pa.s.sed. She spoke to some, but she knew she would never repeat the words, this vision, to anyone. There were numerous times when she thought to turn back. Some of the spirits she saw there hurt her soul. It was only her will, the unshakable drive that had been with her since birth, that prodded her into moving forward.

Sarah also saw herself at different ages and in many circ.u.mstances. She was the child who thought her dreams had killed her mother. Later, she was the young woman whose will couldn't save her father's life. She was child and adult, happy and sad. The dancer had been right. Birth was a thing of joy and pain mixed together as one emotion.

Sarah felt the maze of earthen rooms ending. She looked at the torch in her hand and watched as the flame popped and burned weakly. The material wrapped around the head of the torch had almost burned away. She saw one last obstacle ahead of her. A figure stood before the opening to the outside world, blocking Sarah's path.

"Who are you?" she asked when the figure did not speak as the others had.

"I am the truth, Sakli. I am your best friend and your greatest enemy. I have the power to lift you up and the ability to conquer your soul. Come closer if you wish to face the truth."

Sarah paused before taking one hesitant step. The figure was dressed as the black-and-white dancer had been. Instead of black and white face paint, however, a black cloth masked the figure's features. The stranger beckoned Sarah forward with one hand.

"You are Keyuachi," Sarah said. "You are doubt."

"Look again, Sakli. I do not exist if you do not wish it so. Do you hide from the truth?"

Sarah took another step forward and reached out with one hand. She ripped the black cloth from the stranger's face. She gasped as the dying remains of the torch sputtered in her hand. She stood frozen in place, her breathing accelerated as if she were unable to take in enough air. What the stranger had told her made perfect sense, as Sarah stared into her own reflection.

"We are one, Sarah. Don't let these people convince you that you are what you are not. You will never be special."

A look of pain flashed across Sarah's features as she remembered her mother saying something similar when she was a child. Her mother knew that Sarah could dream, and the woman had discouraged her from believing in such nonsense, believing that she might be special. Sarah felt like crumpling in on herself. She felt like a pretender in a fantasy world inside her own mind. For so many years, she had stifled the anger and resentment she felt for her mother. It wouldn't have been kind to think badly of the departed. She finally realized it had been that thinking that led her to give up so many times in her young life.

Sarah's brow creased together and her jaw tightened. "You are wrong. There is one difference between us, Keyuachi." She lifted her hand and shoved what little remained of the failing torch into her mirror image's face.

The Keyuachi screamed in pain and flailed in agony until it dissipated into nothing. The Keyuachi turned into a ghost-like wraith and screamed as it flew around the room, circling the ceiling above Sarah's head.

"The difference is that I don't give up," Sarah shouted over the screams of the wailing Keyuachi. The wraith circled the room once more and flew out the door it had once guarded. Darkness surrounded her, but Sarah followed the Keyuachi's glowing light trail out of the room.

"Congratulations, little one." The clan mother stood before Sarah in the middle of her camp as if they had never left. "It took you many winters, but ultimately, you saw in yourself the same strength that we see."

Sarah stared in confusion. She was not only in her own camp, but her campfire still burned strongly. She remembered the mother telling her that she would be in the cliff maze for days. Looking around, she realized that only moments had pa.s.sed.

"You look unsteady, Sakli. Sit down." The older woman sat on the ground with Sarah. She offered Sarah some food and drink. "Go ahead," she said in response to Sarah's reticence. "Your quest is over, Sakli. You are now a medicine woman."

"I don't feel any different," Sarah said between mouthfuls of water and banaha.

"What did you expect?" The older woman laughed.

"Well, I don't know. I guess I thought you'd suddenly fill me with all sorts of wisdom or something."

"But we have, Sakli."

"I don't know anything different than I did before."

"When the time comes, little one, you will know. It will take time for all of the knowing to work its way into your waking mind, but in time, you will understand. Learning the way must be a slow process, Sakli, for anything with the power to heal has just as equal a power to harm. Remember to always act, not react. And when you act, never let it be out of fear."

"Thank you, all of you."

"You are welcome. The honor is in the giving. Now, Sakli, you are responsible. In your clan's language, you are now isht ahalaia. It means that you are not only responsible for your own health and spiritual development any longer. Just as you are mother to your physical children, so must you be mother to your clan. You are responsible for the welfare of the children of your body, just as they are similarly responsible for the care of their aging parent. As medicine woman, you are responsible for every person in your clan. They will also protect and care for you as a parent. You must now look to the needs of your Chahta clan no less than you look to the needs of yourself and your own family. This is parallel to the clan's interconnectedness with all people and the world around them. It is also a way of saying that we should treat others as we treat ourselves."

Sarah yawned deeply.

"Sleep now, little one. Your future begins at first light."

Sarah and Tima embraced when Sarah found her way into Tima's camp the next day. Sarah winced and Tima turned her around to examine the source of the pain.

"Did you know this was here?" Tima asked.

Sarah scrunched up her eyebrows and pulled at the leather on her shoulder. She grabbed at a part of the buckskin that appeared cut away. Through the opening, she could see part of a gash on the top of her shoulder. "I must have cut myself on the rocks last night," Sarah said absently.

Tima smiled as she examined the mark. "When this heals, you will have a scar," she said. "It will look like this." She took a stick and drew a mark in the dirt for Sarah to see.

Sarah smiled at Tima. Her scar would resemble a feather, the mark of a Chahta medicine woman.

"I admit, Sakli," Tima began with tears in her eyes, "last night, I saw the Keyuachi."

Sarah smiled to herself. "I know what you mean. I'm getting sick of them myself. I'll tell you about it someday. Right now, I'm starving. Do you have anything to eat?"

Tima laughed at Sarah and they sat together. Tima brought out fruit, bread, and a jug of water that she'd recently filled. She listened as Sarah related parts of her quest. She knew that Sarah left gaps in her story, but that was her right.

Finally, Sarah asked a question of her own. "Nali, would it be ill-mannered of me to ask why you're not a medicine woman? Didn't the clan mothers select you?"

"I was selected to train another." Tima smiled and placed her hand over Sarah's. She had never told anyone, aside from Keeho, what the spirits had said to her as a young woman. "The clan mothers did come to me during my healing quest. They gave me a choice that day. I could become Alikchi, or I could train another. They told me that someday, someone would come who had no knowledge of the clan ways. This one would have no mother from whom to receive her training or even status in the clan, but she would possess the power to save the Chahta ways. I chose the path of responsibility instead of the path of recognition. I have never been happier about my choice."

Chapter 20.

Three miles after the incident at the Salt Fork, the herd crossed Pond Creek. A large pond on the south side just east of the trail gave the creek its name. More prairie dogs, Indian parties, and buffalo crossed their paths. When they reached Polecat Creek, Devlin knew they were in Kansas.

They crossed the flat prairies of Kansas, riding through fields of sunflowers and goldenrods. They saw an increasing number of Osage orange trees planted in rows. That was a sure sign of farmers, or nesters, as the riders called them. The farmers called the fruit hedge apples, and they planted the trees as windbreaks and natural fencing. Herds of buffalo still crossed their trail, but their numbers dwindled the farther the drovers pushed north.

Just after they crossed over the Chikaskia River, a group of Osage warriors approached them looking for tobacco and a steer. Devlin gave the party two steers but refused to give them tobacco. Some of her men had some and she knew that Mexican Bob kept a store of it on the chuck wagon. It saddened her that what once was sacred to these people had become so commonplace. She had enjoyed a cheroot or two, but on those rare occasions, a small part of her could always see Tima's scolding glance.