A Married Man Part 34

I nodded. 'It's all right, I know. I mean, I know about his other women.' I paused. Licked my lips. 'Lots of ... other women?'

He hesitated. Blew a line of smoke thoughtfully above my head. 'Well, I wouldn't say lots, but a few. Although, no one ever quite of your calibre, Lucy.'

I smiled. 'You're very gallant, Kit, but it's OK, you don't have to be tactful. It's all over now, so you can tell me what a s.h.i.+t he really was'

'He wasn't a s.h.i.+t,' he said slowly. 'Just a guy with big problems to sort out.'

'I know.' I flushed dramatically. 'And I hate myself for saying that. I don't know why I did, except maybe to protect myself, I suppose,' I finished miserably. 'To maintain some sort of false pride' I dredged up a deep sigh. 'I do know about his problems, Kit, horrific ones, it's just that oh I don'tknow. I suppose I've had a bellyful of my own, and tonight you find me feeling not shattered and devastated that my so called "love affair" is over but actually, really rather p.i.s.sed off and sorry for myself.'

He smiled. 'Well, I don't know the details, but I suspect the reason for that is that you never really loved him'

'Didn't have the chance,' I said gloomily, picking at my nails. 'Just the odd grope now and then. But no, you're right, I think I just persuaded myself I did. I think I was infatuated with him, and that can't last. As Mimsy said about her faith, pa.s.sion like that runs its course very quickly.'

'You've met Mimsy, then?'

'Oh yes' I gave a wry smile. 'Church flower rota.'

'Ah' He grinned. 'Naturally. Yes, strong woman, that,' he reflected. 'Very strong woman indeed. Part of the problem, of course, because her strength belittled Charlie. He could never quite match up, so he exaggerated her religious fervour to extract pity in the pub. Couldn't help himself. Let it be known that she was building shrines in the back garden complete tosh of course, but in a small community like this such stories get about. And people want to believe gossip because they lead such boring, mediocre lives, and h.e.l.l, it's fun to have a real live soap opera going on, on your doorstep.' He ma.s.saged his chin ruefully. 'G.o.d, I should know. Stories abounded about me and Julia, I know that for a fact. Outrageous stories. About our s.e.x life, of all things, and desperately humiliating it was too. Particularly since none of it was true. But it helped her, you see. Gave her an excuse to go. Gave her departure some credence. Everyone thought she had a legitimate reason to leave me.'

I stared at him. I was dimly aware that my mouth was open.

'And let's face it,' he went on, 'no one really knows the truth about a marriage, do they? No one knows the real nuts and bolts, except the two sharing the double bill. Everything else is just rumour and speculation, however close to the truth the rumour-mongers claim to be.'

I swallowed. 'Well quite,' I said slowly. 'Quite. No one else really does know.' I was thoughtful for a moment.

'Another drink, Lucy?' He stood up with a smile.

I gazed up at him for a moment. His eyes reminded me of a bird's egg. Speckled, with little flecks of hazel and green. I came to. 'Please,' I said, handing him my gla.s.s.

'Was that about right?'

'Hmmm?' I frowned. Still elsewhere.

'I mean, strength-wise. I don't like to make them too strong.'

I blinked. 'Oh! Oh yes, perfect. Same again would be lovely. Thanks, Kit.'

'Oh, and while I'm gone,' he reached across to another chair and threw a glossy catalogue at me, 'try this for size. Gregorio de Conquesca's private collection. It's up for grabs in Venice next Thursday, and my G.o.d, it's going to be special, Lucy. Talk about a complete one-off. Some of the furniture nearly all of it seventeenth century, incidentally hasn't moved from the family palazzo since it was s.h.i.+pped in by Conquesca's forebears four hundred years ago. Take a look, it's awesome.'

'Oh. Thanks.' I took it, still miles away. Good grief, he was right. No one really did know about a marriage, except those involved. All sorts of distorted stories could get about. I flicked distractedly through the pages, but eventually a Jacobeanpitcher and bowl got the better of my abstraction.

'Oooh,' I groaned, 'just look at this pitcher! Beautiful condition, and look at all this early Meissen,' I marvelled. I flicked on. 'And these Limoges enamels, ma.s.ses of them!'

'Exactly,' he called from inside. 'And some of it's never even been seen before. Never seen the light of day. There's going to be the most almighty scrum of course, dealers from all over the world will be going, but it'll be great fun, with plenty of jolly lunches and jaunts across the Lagoon to the Lido. Come with me if you like'

I glanced up quickly from the book. Come with him? What, to Venice? I blinked. Golly, well ... But why not? This was the sort of opportunity I'd dreamed of, wasn't it? Venice. But why had he asked me? On what basis? As a colleague? As a friend? Or even... no, don't be silly, Lucy. As a colleague, of course!

'd.a.m.n. b.l.o.o.d.y freezer's on the blink,' he called. 'Not a lot of ice, I'm afraid.'

'Don't worry,' I called back, distractedly. I shut the book carefully. Popped it back on the chair and slid the chair under the table out of sight. I'd change the subject when he got back. Give it some thought.

'Beautiful roses,' I smiled, nodding down the garden as he reappeared a few moments later.

'Aren't they just,' he agreed, ducking under the umbrella to hand me my drink. As I took it, I could have sworn he'd undone another b.u.t.ton. On his s.h.i.+rt. Quite a lot of chest was showing. But maybe not. I looked away quickly. Maybe I just hadn't noticed before. He smiled, and settled down beside me.

'Thanks' I sipped. 'Delicious.'

'Pleasure. Ahh ...' He sighed happily and settled back on the bench, stretching an arm along the back. His long legs were straight out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. 'Ah yes, the roses,' he said, narrowing his eyes into the distance. 'It's been a good year for them.' He turned his head and looked at me very directly for a moment. 'In fact, it's been a very good year all round.'

I met his eyes, surprised. Then I flushed and looked away. I was aware of his hand, on the back of the bench, a millimetre from my hair. It seemed very important, all of a sudden, to carry on staring intently at the rose bushes. The garden seemed terrifyingly still. And was it my imagination, or was that hand actually touching the back of my hair? Or had I inadvertently moved my head? I went rigid, hardly dared to breathe. Slowly I raised my gla.s.s to my lips. Sipped it.

'Tell me, Lucy,' he murmured at length. 'Do you play croquet?'

A mouthful of gin and ice shot straight out of my mouth. I choked violently.

'Golly, poor you!' He got up and patted my back in consternation.

'Sorry,' I croaked, coughing noisily, trying to catch my breath. 'Went down the wrong way.'

'Clearly.' He hovered over me anxiously for a moment. Then he sat down again. Waited for me to recover. 'Better?'

'Yes, fine now thanks!' I gasped. 'Absolutely fine.'

'No, I was just wondering,' he went on, undeterred, 'only there's quite a decent lawn hidden behind that box hedge, and I've got a lovely old set of hoops and mallets in the summerhouse. Belonged to my grandfather, in fact. What d'you saywe have a little round before the sun completely disappears? We could take our drinks with us.'

I wiped my mouth and put my drink down carefully on the table.

'Actually, d'you know Kit, I've just realised I really ought to be getting back. Only, the thing is, Rose is babysitting so I shouldn't be late, and I did have a drink in the pub with Charlie, so this one's really going to tip me over the limit. I don't know why I didn't think of it before, and I feel awful now you've poured it, but well.' I stood up, quickly. 'Sony, stupid of me, but I lost all track of time!'

'Not to worry,' he said easily, getting to his feet. 'Of course, you're driving, and I should have thought. We'll do it some other time. The croquet, I mean.'

'Y-yes, lovely.' I faltered, blus.h.i.+ng furiously. 'I I'd love to have a a game. With you.'

'Excellent!' He rubbed his hands delightedly, and I reached for my bag on the floor, hiding my crimson face in it. I clutched it protectively to my bosom and scurried around the side of the house, pretending all the while I was searching for my car keys, keeping my face well hidden. He didn't seem to notice, and strolled leisurely beside me, hands deep in pockets, pointing out the glorious fig tree on the sunny south wall, the wonderful sunset, seeing me to my car.

He opened the door for me and leaned against it as I got in. 'Bye then Lucy, see you next week.'

'Will do!' I chortled back. I couldn't look at him, and busied myself with putting on my seat belt, turning the ignition, s.h.i.+fting into gear.

I took off almost before his weight had left the door he didn't quite fall over and gave a cheery backward wave. Then I swept through the gates, b.u.mped down onto the tarmac with a jolt, and sped away.

Oh, how awful. My hand flew to my mouth. How awful! Had he really thought had he seriously imagined I'd be interested in a little ... no. No, of course not. He wouldn't think that. He couldn't think that, because after all, I'd only just split up with Charlie! He surely couldn't imagine I could transfer my affections so quickly? Or could he? Had he imagined he'd catch me on the rebound, perhaps? A desperate, thirty-something woman, so determined to get back into mainstream monogamy that any gin in a storm, any guy in a mansion, would do? Jumping from one man to the next, my heart not even skipping a beat? Good grief, it was unthinkable. And insulting, too!

I gripped the wheel and bombed through the dusky countryside, desperate to get away, to distance myself from the whole embarra.s.sing episode. But then after a while I slowed. A rogue thought had entered my head. Suppose I'd been wrong back there? Suppose I'd jumped to conclusions? Been irrational, small-minded, just like the gossips in the pub, made a mountain out of ... I slumped miserably in my seat. Yes, yes, of course I had. I'd overreacted. A large gin, an offer of a business trip, an auction in Venice how marvellous. And I'd instantly a.s.sumed he was after my body. I felt hot. Ashamed. Oh, poor Kit. Poor, dear, kind Kit, just being a good host; just dreaming up some entertainment on a summer's evening, a drink, a game of croquet ...

Croquet. Lordy! My heart gave a palsied leap and I took a hairpin bend with an astonis.h.i.+ng lack of care, almost collidingwith a tractor. I righted myself on the road and groaned. Oh no, not my job. Please G.o.d, don't let that element of my life go pear-shaped. I needed that job, desperately, but I certainly couldn't handle a predatory employer chasing me around stark naked, a mallet swinging between his legs, and heaven knows what else. Really I couldn't.

Well, I'd have to make it plain, I thought, roaring up to the lodge and swinging through Netherby's gates defiantly. I didn't want to lose my job didn't see why I should either. Golly, I had rights but I'd have to clarify my position. Have to Jesus Christ, what was that? My foot came off the accelerator for a moment and the car swerved violently up the verge. I got it back on the drive and gazed straight ahead. Away, in the distance, but not that far, just behind Netherby in fact, and lighting up the night sky, was a huge, blazing, orange glow. Somewhere down by the lake, the trees seemed to be crackling, seemed to be almost alive. I picked up speed and turned the bend transfixed. As I drove along, faster and faster, my eyes hooked on the horizon, a terrible knowledge began to squeeze my heart, tight, like an ice-cold hand. The bright orange ball was like a sun, except it wasn't the sun, it was oh dear G.o.d. My hand shot to my mouth as the flames blazed high into the night sky. Oh dear G.o.d the barn. The barn was on fire.

Chapter Twenty-seven.

I roared up the hill and skidded to a halt, wheels screeching on the tarmac. Flames were licking out of the top windows, and part of the roof was blazing, the timber frame crackling and burning like a matchbox, the whole building a vivid ball of orange flames. For a moment I was transfixed with horror. Oh thank G.o.d the boys weren't inside, I thought, leaping suddenly from my car. Thank G.o.d they were up at the house!

'Archie!' I screamed.

Archie, David, Pinkie, Lavinia and the aunts in their dressing gowns were standing in a huddled group on the lawn, staring up. I ran towards them.

'Oh Jesus, Archie - what happened!' Even as I spoke I had to put an arm over my eyes, the heat knocking me back.

'Lucy!' He swung around, white-faced, fear blazing in his pale bulbous eyes. He seized my arm. His breath was short and he stretched his lips across his teeth in a strange grimace. 'Lucy, you're not to - they'll be all right!'

He held my arm in a vice-like grip as if to stop me in my tracks, stop me hurling myself at the flaming building. 'They'll be all right? Who'll be all right? s.h.i.+t!' I stared athim in horror, terror rising fast as I saw it in his own eyes. 'Oh Christ, the boys! But they're not in there, Archie! They're not in there, they're up at the house!'

He didn't answer for a moment, just held on tight, fingertips digging into my flesh. Then he gripped my other arm in the same way, brought his white, quivering face down to mine. 'Jack's in there,' he breathed in measured tones. 'He's in there, and he's getting them out. It'll be all right, Lucy, he's getting them out!'

I gazed at him, appalled. Then - 'N000!!!' I screamed, pulling away. 'No, they can't be! Oh G.o.d - BEN, MAX!!!'

I struggled to escape, fighting him off with my whole body, bucking away, as he held on tight. 'BENT I screamed. I swung my head around, all that I could move in his tight grasp, as at that moment, a figure appeared. It was Jack, running from the blazing house, a child in pyjamas in his arms.

'BEN!' I finally wrenched free of Archie as he let me go, and hurled myself towards them. 'Ben! Are you all right!'

'He's fine!' yelled back Jack, black-faced, as Ben collapsed, coughing and spluttering in my arms. 'He's just full of smoke, that's all. Take him away Lucy, back there, up on the bank!'

'But Max,' I shrieked, dragging Ben away from the heat. 'Where's Max!'

'Keep her out!' roared Jack, pointing a finger at Archie, and then back at me. His eyes were glittering in his black face, but this time David lunged forward to grab me. He held my arms, pinning me from behind, as Jack went running back in. But there was no need. I was paralysed with fear now. Frozen with shock.

'Oh dear G.o.d,' I prayed, shutting my eyes tight and bending my head to little Ben as he clung on around my waist. 'Oh dear G.o.d, help him. Help him. Is he in bed, Ben?' I trembled. 'Where is Max, is he asleep or-'

'No, no, he's not in bed, he's at the bottom of the stairs! I tried to drag him out with me but he was too scared, and too scared to come with Jack. But Jack'll get him out now, won't he? Won't he!'

David had loosened his grip and was beside us now, encircling us, a tight arm round both of our shoulders. 'Of course he will,' he said calmly. 'Stay right where you are, both of you, he'll be fine. Jack'll see to it. He got Ben, he'll get Max, it's all under control.'

'It is not under control,' I gasped. 'My baby's still in there. He's in that fire and oh thank G.o.d!'

I lurched forward as Jack suddenly reappeared, this time with Max in his arms, blinking, eyes streaming. I ran up and s.n.a.t.c.hed him to me, sobbing.

'Oh darling, my poor darling are you all right!' Max nodded, eyes huge.

'He's fine,' croaked Jack, 'but find something to wrap him in.'

'Yes! Oh G.o.d, in the car, a rug, but Jack where are you going!'

'One more,' he said grimly, turning back. 'But who?'

'Rose is still in there,' said David quietly, beside me. I swung around to him. Then looked back at the barn in disbelief.

'Rose! But why? And why were the boys in there, and ohJesus Christ, David . . I ran desperate hands through my hair as Jack, bent double, head low, disappeared back in. 'Where's the b.l.o.o.d.y Fire Brigade?'

'Coming!' sobbed Lavinia, running up and clutching my arm. 'Daddy rang, ages ago, and they should be here by now but oh G.o.d, Lucy, they're taking for ever, and she'll die up there, won't she? She'll die!'

She clung onto me, trembling. We were being beaten back all the time now, pulling the boys with us, wrapping Max in a rug, the heat seeming almost to take the skin off our faces as we gazed, petrified, at the top floor. I held Max tight, Lavinia had Ben, the aunts clutched each other, and Pinkie stood alone, sobbing hysterically, eyes wide and helpless, arms limp at her sides, staring up at the house. Archie was behind her, white-faced.

'Get her out, lad, get her out!' he hissed, as we watched the flames shoot ever higher.

My mind spun like a top as the seconds ticked by. Oh G.o.d Jack and Rose. Jack, burned to death in there, overcome by fumes ... I felt sick to my stomach, my head ached with an agonising white heat, and smoke and vomit were rising in my throat. I thought I might physically throw up. Oh please G.o.d don't let them die, I prayed, don't let them die!

Suddenly, gla.s.s shattered. Pinkie screamed and hid her face in her hands as a black face appeared at an upstairs window. A north window, at the side, which the fire was working its way towards, but hadn't quite engulfed. We all ran round.

'Staircase has gone catch this!' yelled Jack. 'And hold it out taut!'

We rushed forward, s.h.i.+elding our faces, as he threw down a blanket. David and Archie grabbed a corner each. I seized another and Lavinia elbowed Pinkie out of the way to secure the fourth. 'Don't be silly, girl, you'll drop it!'

'Now - don't let go!' Jack ordered. As we stood beneath him, bracing ourselves and squinting against the intense heat, it seemed to me I was burning already. He was poised up at the window, a small, limp body in his arms. Rose.

'Now - catch her!'

He let her go, and down she came, fast, spiralling through the air like a tiny rag doll. I've never held onto anything so tight in my life, and as she hit the blanket, only a hint of her body touched the ground. Archie ran forward and scooped her up, cradling her in his arms, dragging her away from the flames. Her head lolled and I saw her eyes, wide with shock, her mouth wide open, the inside of her mouth very pink against her black face.

'Jack!' I swung back up to the window, as at that moment, we heard sirens, wailing in the distance. 'Oh thank G.o.d. Archie - David, grab the blanket again - Jack, jump! d.a.m.n you, Jack - where are you!' I screamed.

A moment later he reappeared.

'Jump, Jack, we'll catch you!' yelled Archie.

'Don't be b.l.o.o.d.y ridiculous, I'll break my neck!' 'Well, how are you going to-'

But he'd disappeared back into the furnace, leaving my words hanging in the air.

'He'll find a way,' said a quiet voice beside me.

'Oh David, will he?' I gasped. 'How will he? There's no staircase!'

David put an arm up to his eyes and, seizing the blanket,threw it over his head. Bent double he ran towards the front door, as far as he could, to look inside.

'He's coming!' he yelled, inching backwards. 'He's coming over the gallery, on a rope! He's here!'

As the fire engines and ambulance came roaring into view, Jack's figure stumbled out of the front door, arms over his head, coughing and staggering. David threw the blanket around him, pulling him away. Finally they made it to the bank and sank down on the gra.s.s. I flew to his side.

'Jack - are you all right?'

He couldn't speak, didn't want to speak. Raised a slow hand to show he was fine. Then he sat, hunched, with his head between his knees, his shoulders heaving with exhaustion. I sank beside him, letting him get his breath back.