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"We don't die so easily."
"The thing to consider now is that baby. It's a dear little thing, and looks less like putty than most babies; I can actually see a resemblance to Thorpe. But, all the same, its presence is decidedly embarra.s.sing."
The baby solved the problem. It died when it was ten days old. Even Miss Shrops.h.i.+re, who scorned the emotions, shuddered and burst into tears at the awful agony in Nina's eyes. Nina did not cry, nor did she speak.
When the child was dressed for its coffin, the housekeeper brought it to the bedside. Nina raised herself on her elbow, and gave it a long devouring glance. It looked like marble rather than wax, and its likeness to Dudley Thorpe was startling. The contours of infancy had disappeared in its brief severe illness, and the strong bold outlines of the man who had called it into being were reproduced in little. The dark hair fell over its forehead in the same way, the mouth had the same arch.
Miss Shrops.h.i.+re entered the room, and Nina spoke for the first time since the baby had given its sharp cry of warning.
"Take it up into the forest, and bury it between the two pines where my hammock was." And then she turned her back and stared at the wall.
Shortly after, Mr. Randolph was informed that Nina had had a brief but severe attack of rheumatic fever, and he paid her a hurried visit. He wondered at the change in her, but did not suspect the truth.
"She is pining for Thorpe, I suppose," he said to Miss Shrops.h.i.+re. "I cannot understand his silence; and now G.o.d knows when we'll hear from him, unless he managed to get North before April 19th. Something has happened, I am afraid. Poor child, she was not born under a lucky star!
Is she all right otherwise?"
"Yes, it looks as if she were cured. But when she goes to San Francisco, she had better stay with me for a time. I don't think her mother's society would be the best thing for her while she is so despondent."
"By all means. And that detestable Clough?"
"He is really a first-rate doctor, and has been devotion itself."
"Very well: I shall send him a handsome cheque. But if he has any matrimonial designs, let him look out. Don't imagine I am blind. A man does not neglect a fresh practice for cousinly affection. I cannot suppose for a moment that she would tolerate him, but when a woman is listless and despondent, and thinks that all her prospects of happiness are over, there's no telling what she will do; particularly if the besieger has the tenacity of a bull dog. I'd rather see her in her coffin than married to Richard Clough."
Miss Shrops.h.i.+re was very anxious to return to San Francisco. She loved Nina Randolph; but she had immured herself in the cause of friends.h.i.+p long enough, and thought that her afflicted friend would be quite as well off where distractions were more abundant. When she suggested return, Nina acquiesced indifferently, and Mrs. Atkins packed the trunks with a hearty good-will. Dr. Clough brought a hack, at great expense, from Napa, and packed her into it as if she were a baby. As it drove off, she looked through the window up to the forest where her baby lay.
She had not been strong enough to climb to the grave. She knew that she should never see it.
BOOK III
I
When Thorpe left New Orleans his plan was to return on the next steamer but one, then to go North to New York or Boston,--he had friends in both cities,--and amuse himself in new fields until he was permitted to return to California. He sought distraction, for although he was reasonably sure of Nina's power to conquer herself, and intended to marry her whether she did or not, separation and time deepened his pa.s.sion for her, and he only found peace of mind in filling his hours to the brim. It is doubtful if he would have consented to remain the year out were it not that he wished to admire her as much as she longed to have him. Her pride and confidence in herself would invigorate the happiness of both.
He left orders in New Orleans to have his mail held over until his return. Harold was very ill on the voyage. Almost immediately upon landing in Havana his health began to mend, and he declared himself ready to kiss the soil, as he could not bestow a similar mark of favour on the climate. He announced his intention of sending for his affianced and spending the rest of his life in the West Indies. Thorpe did not take him too seriously, but seeing that there was no prospect of getting away for some time, and believing that Cuba would offer himself entertainment for several months, he sent to New Orleans for his mail, and wrote to Nina announcing his present plans. Whether the letters never left the Havana post-office, or whether the mail sack was lost overboard later, or ignored in the excitement at New Orleans, no one will ever know. Nor does it matter; they were never received, and that is all that concerns this tale. Thorpe and Harold started inland immediately, and finally determined to go to Jamaica and San Domingo before returning to Havana. He knew it was worse than folly to trust letters to the wretched inland post-offices, and he had told Nina in his letter of explanation not to expect another for some time. He should be in New Orleans on the first of May, and, meanwhile, he kept a diary for her future entertainment.
While exploring the mountain forests in the central part of Hayti, their guide was murdered, and they were two months finding their way to San Domingo. They were months of excitement, adventure, and more than one hair-breadth escape. Thorpe would have been in his element had it been possible to communicate with Nina, and could he have been sure of getting out of the West Indies before the rainy season began. They came unexpectedly upon San Domingo; and he learned that war had broken out in the United States during April. They made what haste they could to Havana, Harold as eager to return to civilisation as his brother; for vermin and land-crabs had tempered his enthusiasm, and he had acquired a violent dislike for the negro. At Havana, Thorpe found no letters awaiting him. He also learned from an American resident that postal communication had ceased between the North and South on May 31st. He wondered blankly at his stupidity in not going North while there was yet time, but like many others, he had heard so much talk of war that he had ceased to believe in its certainty. He could only hope that his letter had reached Nina, but knew that it was more than doubtful. The Southern ports were in a state of blockade. He and his brother ran it in a little boat rowed by themselves. In New Orleans he read the packet of letters from Nina, that awaited him.
II
The great change in Nina Randolph's appearance and manner induced no small amount of gossip in San Francisco. Women are quick to scent the sin that society loves best to discuss, and there were many that suspected the truth: her long retirement had prepared them for an interesting sequel. Nina guessed that she was dividing with the war the honours of attention in a small but law-making circle, but was quite indifferent. She rarely went down to the parlour when people called, but sat in her bedroom staring out at the bay; the Lester house was on the summit of Clay Street hill.
Her father was deeply anxious, full of gloomy forebodings. He believed Thorpe to be dead, and shook with horror when he thought of what the consequences might be.
"Wouldn't you like a change?" he asked her one day. "How would you like go to New York? Molly and Mrs. Lester could go with you."
Nina shook her head, colouring faintly.
"I see. You are afraid of missing Thorpe. I wish there were some way of finding out--"
She turned to him with eager eyes. "Would you go, papa,--to New Orleans?
I haven't dared to ask it. Go and see what is the matter."
"My child, I could not get there. The ports are blockaded; if I attempted the folly of getting to New Orleans by land, I should probably be shot as a spy. It is for those reasons that he will have great difficulty in getting here, as he did not have the forethought to leave the South in time."
To this Nina made no reply, and as she would not talk to him, he left her.
That evening Miss Shrops.h.i.+re came into Nina's room, and spoke twice before she was answered. The room was dark.
"Look here, Nina!" she said peremptorily. "You've got to brace up.
People are talking. I know it!"
"Are they? What does it matter? I have no more use for them. I may as well tell you I have come to the conclusion that Dudley Thorpe ceased to care for me, and that is the reason of his silence. He has gone back to England."
"I don't believe it. You're growing morbid. Women frequently do after that sort of experience. I remember Beatrix sat in one position for nearly a month, staring at the floor: wouldn't even brush her teeth. You have too much brains for that sort of thing."
"I believe it. I have made up my mind. He is in England. He wrote me once that if it were not that I had asked him not to leave the country, he would run over, he was so tired of America. He went, and stayed."
"Well, then, go out in the world and flirt as you used to. Don't let any man bowl you over like this; and, for Heaven's sake, don't mope any more!"
"I hate the thought of every man in San Francisco. When I knew them, I was an entirely different woman. I couldn't adapt myself to them if I wanted to--which I don't."
"But there are always new ones--"
"Oh, don't! Haven't you imagination enough to guess what this last year has made of me? If I got as far as a ball-room I'd stand up in the middle of the floor and shriek out that since I was there last my heart had lived and been broken, that I had lost a husband and buried a baby--"
"Then, for Heaven's sake, stay at home! But I think," with deep meaning, "that you had better try a change of some sort, Nina. If you don't want to risk going East, why not visit some of the Spanish people in Southern California?"
"I shall stay here."
It was during the next night that Nina left her bed suddenly, flung herself into a chair, and pressed her elbows hard upon her knees. She had barely slept for three nights. Her nerves were in a highly irritable state. If any one had entered she would not have been able to control her temper. Black depression possessed her; the irritability of her nerves alternated with the sensation of dropping through s.p.a.ce; and her relaxed body cried for stimulant.
She twisted her hands together, her face convulsed. "Why should I fight?" she argued aloud. "In that, at least, I should find temporary oblivion. And what else have I left? Down deep, ever since I got his last letter, I have known that I should never see him again. It is my destiny: that is the beginning and the end of it. This is the second time I have wanted it since the baby died. I _beat_ it out of me the first time. I hoped--hoped--and if he were here I should win. If I could be happy, and go away with him, it would not come again: I know--_I know_. He could have got me some word by this. He is not dead. There is only one other explanation. Men are all alike, they say. Why should I struggle? For what? What have I to live for? I am the most wretched woman on earth."
But she did struggle. The dawn found her sitting there still, her muscles almost rigid. Her love for Thorpe had undergone no change; it took the fight into its own hands. And it seemed to her that she could hear her soul beg for its rights; its voice rose above the persistent clamour of her body.
She went to bed and slept for a few hours; but when she awoke the desire in her nerves was madder than ever. Every part of her cried out for stimulant. She had no love for the taste of liquor; the demand came from her nerve-centres. But still she fought on, materialising the monster, fancying that she held it by the throat, that she cut its limbs off, its heart out; but it shook itself together with magnificent vitality, and laughed in her face.
Days pa.s.sed. The clamour in her body strove to raise itself above the despairing cry in her soul. But still, mechanically, without hope, she lifted her ear to the higher cry, knowing that if she fell now she should never rise again in her earthly life, nor speak with Dudley Thorpe, should he, perhaps, return.