The Bleeding Worlds: Resonance Part 21

"It is Lucifer falling from Heaven," he said. "At least, that's what Adrastia told me when I asked."

"And you believed her?"

Marduk shrugged.

"When you have lived as long as I, it becomes easier to believe such things. You know the rule, I a.s.sume?"

Gwynn smiled, nodding his agreement.

"All myths have some basis in fact."

"And so that ball of fire in the sky, regardless of what it truly is, forms the basis of Lucifer's fall."

"There's that word again...truth."

"Yes!" Marduk laughed. "I did say you would face it often in this place."

Gwynn turned in a semi-circle, regarding the walls of books.

"So what is all this, every book ever written?"

"They comprise part of the records," Marduk said. "But the more interesting books are the autobiographies."

"Really? What, is there an extensive section of the world's famous people?"

Marduk grinned.

"Oh, I suppose you could say that," he said. "Though I guess it depends on your definition of famous. You see, every person in the world is represented."

"Every person?"

Marduk nodded.

"It is a...large section. This is why we often refer to a person's life as their story. Once you learn to enter this place and search its archives, you can find your own story, read about your exploits, reflect on who you are. The more interesting part is an index in the book, which links you to all the lives which have been connected to your soul aside from your current self."

"How could you find anything in this place? It would take years just to walk from one end to the other."

Marduk ran his finger along the spines on the shelf. They'd been blank before, but his fingers seemed to remove a layer of dust, revealing t.i.tles below. Gwynn noted this wasn't accurate as the t.i.tles were far longer than the width of Marduk's fingers.

"You don't find the books," Marduk said. "The books find you. An efficient system provided you know what you are looking for."

Marduk sighed.

"There was a time when there were many hallways branching off this main one. The knowledge from just one world was incredible, but from billions...Since the cataclysm of seven years ago, most of those hallways have simply ceased to exist."

"As if they never existed?"

Marduk placed his palm against a group of book spines. A rush of t.i.tles spread out, filling the spines of hundreds of books.

"Before, I could touch this shelf and the lives of a million Marduks would radiate for miles." Marduk's voice sounded thin and distant. "Now, there is only me. I've lost all those lessons others learned, all the possibilities they explored. I can only know who I have been and what paths I chose to follow."

He pressed his forehead against the books and exhaled raggedly.

After a minute, he raised his head and stepped away from the shelf. As his fingers lifted from the books, the t.i.tles collapsed toward the final place of contact and disappeared from sight.

Marduk motioned toward the shelf.

"Give it a try," he said.

Gwynn took hesitant steps toward the shelf. He reached out but stopped his hand an inch from touching the spines.

"How does it work?" he asked. "I mean, you said I had to know what to ask for."

"You just need to think about what you want," Marduk said. "Thoughts are energy, and in reality, this place is as well. But it helps if you have a certain familiarity with your question. Much like computers, garbage input will result in less than desirable output. Perhaps you should start by asking about yourself."

Gwynn studied the blank spines just an inch away from his hovering fingers.

The story of my life?

He dully remembered Adrastia urging him as he lay dying, reaching a hand out to him and telling him to grab hold-to take his proper place in the story of his life. When she said those words to him, what part of his story did she want him to fulfill-to be her father? Even if events differed from her expected timeline, he'd still managed to have a daughter who demonstrated Adrastia's powers, and certainly bore a striking resemblance to her as well. Or did she mean for him to face Cain-to finish the mission she considered herself incapable of? So many questions and too few answers. Could this place give him those? If he only knew the right questions to ask.

"Why are we here?" he asked Marduk. "I know Adrastia wants me to have the strength to defeat Cain, so why start with books? What are you hoping I learn?"

"Are you trying to formulate your question, or are you demonstrating your ignorance?"

"I'm trying to figure out the question." No. He shook his head. "Not the question, actually, but which question. The more I think of it, I feel like I have nothing but questions. I don't even know where to start."

Marduk paced along the shelves to Gwynn's left.

"It is an odd feeling, is it not?" he said. "Limitless options-you can ask any question. As long as you can wrap your head and heart around it, you can have your answer. So many choices. Do you ask if Jesus is real? Or perhaps you are more interested in the Loch Ness Monster." Marduk chuckled. "But as you stand there, your fingers tingling with their proximity to boundless knowledge, you worry asking a trivial question will rob you of the opportunity to learn something useful. This is a burden we carry as creatures of linearity-we are prisoners to the sense of our impending doom-we worry about wasting our limited time."

Marduk returned to Gwynn and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"We are here to learn if Cain knows something about your soul you do not. Why is Cain able to harness more of its power? Is it purely due to his advantage of time, or is there something more to it? What truth do you need to discover in order to unlock its full potential for yourself?"

"I'm not sure that helps," Gwynn said.

"You need answers, and I have given you the greatest resource for answers in existence. But I will not find the answers for you. One of my t.i.tles was The G.o.d of Judgement. In judging you, I believe the only way for an answer to mean something is for you to find it yourself."

Marduk took hold of Gwynn's extended forearm and pushed it forward, splaying his fingers on the blank spines.

"Stop being so afraid of being wrong," he said. "Just ask a question."

Gwynn's palms and fingers tingled where they touched the spines. There was the slightest bit of a tug, like the spines were magnetized and his fingers were an opposing pole.

I need to be Cain's equal, he thought.

The spines remained blank.

Stupid, stupid. That's not a question.

Gwynn inhaled slowly, trying to chase any extraneous thoughts or doubts from his mind.

If Cain and I share a soul, why is he so much stronger than I am?

The tingling beneath his palm snapped off with a jolt. The spines vibrated and hummed. A swirling ma.s.s of gold and black churned beneath his hand and spun off, leaving hundreds, possibly thousands, of t.i.tles on the books.

"How do I read any of the books if I have to keep my hand here?" Gwynn asked.

Marduk laughed.

"I guess I should have given you a better primer. So long as you ask nothing more of the books, they will remain as they are. If you ask a new question, or tell the books you are finished, they will change."

Gwynn eased his hand away from the spines-a pins-and-needles sensation still remained. He regarded the books in front of him. Most of the t.i.tles were names with a series of dates beneath them.

"Is this Cain's history?" he asked.

"I would think so. What did you ask?"

"Why Cain was so much stronger than I am since we share a soul."

Marduk stroked his bearded chin.

"We could try reading all these books, but I would surmise the simplest answer would be experience."

"But that doesn't help me," Gwynn said. "I mean, I could've guessed that right from the start."

Marduk walked along the line of books, moving his head up and down, side to side, as he moved.

"So ask something different."

Gwynn pressed his palm against the spines in front of him.

How do I become as strong as Cain?

A wave of swirling words crashed in from all sides, evaporating as they struck the point where his hand touched. No further t.i.tles fanned out from his touch. After a minute, he lifted his hand to reveal a single book t.i.tle which had been hidden beneath his palm.

"Dormath Family Tree..."

He read the dates indicated beneath.

"This is about Sophia, Allison, and I."

He lifted it from the shelf and sat on the floor so he could spread the book open on his lap. Thumbing through the pages, his meeting with Sophia on Asgard, their subsequent courts.h.i.+p, marriage, and the birth of Allison, were written in great detail. He laughed at little moments he'd forgotten, felt a swelling in his chest as he read about the things he didn't know-where Sophia stayed by his side during his recovery. This may not have been the entire story of his life, but it felt like the only part that mattered.

"But I don't understand," he said. "How does this make me as strong as Cain?"

Marduk walked to the bookshelf and touched the spines. A moment later, he stepped away, inspected the t.i.tles, and with a satisfied smile and a flourish of his hand, he motioned Gwynn to take a look.

He closed his own book and placed it gently on the floor beside him.

Only two of the spines bore t.i.tles-Fear and Anger.

"This," said Marduk, "is what fuels Cain. These are the two forces which drive the entirety of his existence. I told you his own family line was filled with anger and tales of children overthrowing their parents. So tell me, what do you suppose your relations.h.i.+p with your daughter is like, knowing she came through time to try and save your life?"

Gwynn looked back to the book lying on the ground, its pages opened to where he'd been reading about Allison's birth.

"I'd like to think we have a good relations.h.i.+p. I don't think she feels the need to destroy me, if that's what you're asking. Truthfully, she and Sophia are everything good in my life. I'd be lost without either of them."

"So if Cain fuels his actions with fear and anger, what two words fuel your life?"

Gwynn returned to the book on the floor, flipping it closed, picking it up and holding it close to his chest. How long had he been away from them? He stepped worlds away and now wasn't even in the same realm of existence.

"Love," he replied. Yes, love was the obvious answer.

"We could easily say that is the opposite of Anger-hence why the two seem to be so easily intertwined. But what of your other choice?"

Gwynn looked to the bookshelf, his hand sensing some of its pull.

"No," Marduk said. "I brought you here to find some answers, but not to have this place think entirely for you. It is your life, your story. Should you not know what it means?"

Gwynn pressed the book closer to his chest, as though he might be able to absorb any secrets it contained. His life. His story.

"While you think on it," Marduk said, "let us discuss the sword Cain, and you at one point, use. It was called Xanthe, correct?"

Gwynn nodded.

"Did you know if you look up the word Xanthe, in an old, dead, dialect it meant Wrath? Not too surprising given Cain's history. But for our purposes, it is the modern meaning we should focus on. Have you ever researched it?"

"No," Gwynn said. "There never seemed to be a reason. I was always running, just trying to stay ahead of the next disaster. And when life slowed down, I had a wife, and a home to build-not to mention no internet and limited access to books."

"I suppose this is fair. Well, let me enlighten you-the name Xanthe, in the modern sense, means blond-haired. Do you suppose that holds some significance for you?" He held up his hand, indicating the question needed no answering. "Do you see, even the name of the sword holds a double meaning-one of significance to Cain, and one to you. Tell me, the first time you summoned the sword, what were you thinking, what was happening?"

"I was in the park at night with a girl name Fuyuko. She was a member of Suture, though I didn't know at the time. We were attacked by two Curses. Fuyuko was fighting well, but the second one was preparing a surprise strike-it would've killed her. At the time, Adrastia sang a song that seemed so familiar-"

"Your soul's song," Marduk said. "She was trying to awaken your powers using a more pa.s.sive approach."

"I just knew I didn't want Fuyuko to die. I already felt I'd failed Sophia...I just grabbed all of my frustration, sadness, anger, and hope..."

"Yes?" Marduk said, drawing beckoning circles in the air with his hand. "Go on."

"Hope... I never thought of it before-everything was just so...frightening. But what I really felt was hope. I hoped I could save Fuyuko. I thought if I had more power I would have a hope of saving Sophia. Even my life now. When Allison awoke as an Anunnaki, my initial response was fear. But then Sophia, Pridament, and I started working with her and I realized her powers gave me hope. I thought, if my daughter can control these abilities, she'll never have to live in fear."

Marduk chuckled.

"And based on a much older version of her, do you see much in the way of fear?"

Gwynn shook his head.