Pushing The Limits: Take Me On Part 21

"If my cross struck you, you would have been off balance and I'd have the upper hand. All hits are good, West, especially if they connect, but a jab is your bread and b.u.t.ter."

Haley picks up my wrists and s.h.i.+fts them near my temples. "You need to keep your guard up at all times. Drop it for a second and you'll get the h.e.l.l pounded out of you."

"I know." I start to lower it, but she keeps a firm grip on my wrist.

"No." Haley becomes the only thing I see in the small gap between my gloves. "I need it to be ingrained, not a useless tidbit of information to be discarded as trash."

With her delicate fingers holding on to me, we stay that way, silent, as the music continues to play. After a second, she says, "What are you scared of?"

Failing her like I've failed Rachel. Getting my a.s.s handed to me in the cage. Being kicked out for good after graduation. I go to drop my wrists, but Haley keeps them in place.

"Tell me," she says.

"Nothing."

"No, you keep messing with your guard. If you do hold it up, you're not keeping it tight near your temples. You move it out- Why?"

I stare at Haley through the small crack. "I can't see anything else."

"Can you see me?"

"Yes." The top of her cleavage is exposed by her tank top and small pieces of her hair fall from her ponytail. She's an erotic mess that my hands itch to roam.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I feel blinded like this." With my guards by my temples, it obstructs my peripheral vision. "I can't see what's going on."

"You're seeing everything you need to see. You're not getting jumped by a gang-you're fighting one person. For three rounds of three minutes each, you get to ignore everything else in the world and focus on the one thing in front of you. Think of it as a gift. How many other times in your life will you be allowed that type of focus?"

Haley-that's the gift in front of me. A girl who's trusted me with her secrets and has protected me from the elements. Possibly one of the few people who likes me for me and not because of my last name.

She steps closer and her fingers glide against my skin. Haley turns my wrist toward my face and my gloves block her out. "If you're overpowered, a tightly held guard can be your best defense."

She repositions my wrist back out and consumes my line of sight again. "And when you're ready to attack, you simply open up and take the swing."

When our eyes meet, her breathing hitches. If I kissed Haley, would she kiss me back? Desire slams into me as hard as it did when I wrapped my arms around her three weeks ago and allowed my lips to brush against her skin. In the darkness, she became an angel bent on saving my soul. She angled her neck and I knew I could kiss her without an ounce of hesitation on her part, but I didn't because Haley doesn't know who I am-she doesn't know I'm a Young.

"See." Haley mock swings and nudges her fist against my glove. "You're protected. I can't hurt you."

Yes, she can. Haley can learn who I am, who my family is, and hate me. I can let her down and, once again, be a failure. Haley has no idea how much I need this last shot at redemption and how much I need her.

She drops her hands and I lower my arms to my sides.

"But here's the important part." She waggles her eyebrows. "You're never going to win a fight unless you take a chance and actually engage."

"What about you?" I ask.

Haley's eyes jump to mine. "What about me?"

"When are you going to engage?"

Her forehead wrinkles and her dark eyes harden. She's s.e.xy as h.e.l.l p.i.s.sed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

It must mean that I don't mind angering her enough that she'll cut off my b.a.l.l.s. It means that when I give her roses, she tells me maybe we'll talk. "You keep telling me what I need to do, then, instead of going for a blow, you show me shadow boxing."

Haley lifts her chin, almost daring me to challenge her again. "Do you have a problem with how I'm training you?"

"No, but it doesn't take a head shrink to figure out that you're holding back."

She leans into me just like the night we first met. "I am not holding back."

"Yeah, you are. We've been together day in and day out for over a month, and holding back is what you do. With people at school, your family, in training, with denying what you feel when you're with me."

"Feel with you? Me and you-we are friends."

"We crossed beyond friends the night we spent in your room and you know that. f.u.c.k, Haley, there isn't a moment that we haven't been into each other and I'm not the only one in the room aware of it."

Haley shakes her head and waves a hand in the air. "Keep your mind where it needs to be, West. In the gym."

"Hey, you're the one who kissed me in the cafeteria today."

"Bwha." A large puff of air leaves her mouth and blood leaves her face. "I was thanking you. For helping me. Not coming on to you."

I ease closer to her. "You want me. Admit it, Haley. You. Want. Me. You wanted me the first night we met, you wanted me the night in your room and you want me right now, but you've buried it deep. It popped out today when you least expected it and now you're mad because I'm calling you out."

Haley goes blank, and, like the time we confronted Matt and Conner in the cafeteria, she goes into the frozen shock. I'm used to girls who tell me everything that crosses their minds...everything. Including the things that should be self-censored, but Haley keeps every thought locked away and maybe she doesn't do it on purpose. Maybe that's her way of keeping up her guard.

I glance down at the gloves on my hand. "I step when I punch."

Haley's dark eyes jump to mine and the hope, the grat.i.tude swimming in them for changing the subject almost brings me to my knees. "No, you don't."

"And I throw more jabs than crosses."

A smile starts to play on her lips. "That definitely never happens."

"And I am the king of switching up between going on the defensive and offensive."

Like I knew she would, Haley laughs loudly. The spark that has returned to her eyes is nearly impossible to resist.

"If I throw a jab..." I lift my left arm and mock throw the punch.

Haley giggles as she absently blocks. Instantaneously, I step and "toss" a cross at her and she takes a mirroring step back as she blocks it again.

"The boy can be taught," she says through another laugh.

"Been known to happen with me and monkeys on occasion." With each halfhearted throw, I step in, and in smooth, rhythmic movements, Haley continues to counter, keeping a safe distance between us. She stays close enough to block me, close enough to go on the offensive if she chooses, but far enough away I can't touch and that's what I want... I crave to touch Haley.

Without warning, I slide into her and back her into the cage. Haley's breath leaves her body in a rush and those dark eyes focus on me. Her hands rest on my chest and her fingers flutter, as if not sure whether to push or to explore. With my gloves against the fence on either side of her head, I lean into her and draw my nose up her jawline to her ear. Her body is warm and firm and she smells so d.a.m.n good.

"What do I do if I get pushed against the cage?" I whisper into her ear and close my eyes when a tremor runs through her body.

Her fingernails tease my chest as her hands drift to my sides. "You hit here." She squeezes my right side and electricity blazes out of her touch and into my system. "And here." Then squeezes the other.

I nip at her ear and Haley's hands tighten against my skin. Images of her underneath me appear in my mind and I want the fantasy to become reality. "What do I do if he takes me to the floor?"

I watch her throat as she swallows. She has beautiful skin-soft, smooth. The gloves on my hands turn into a nuisance as the urge to touch her evolves into an obsession.

"Grappling," she says a little breathlessly.

Now those are lessons I look forward to. "When will we start that?"

"Soon."

I part my mouth and kiss her neck. Haley dips her head to the side, allowing me more access, and through these d.a.m.n shorts, she has to feel how much I want her.

"We shouldn't do this," she whispers, yet her hands wander to my back and trace my spine. "I won't date another fighter."

"Then walk away." I trail a line of kisses along her collarbone, up her throat, then pause, staring straight into her eyes, giving her the chance to end this now. "I won't lie. I want this, Haley. I want you."

Hot, shallow breaths leave her mouth and brush against my lips. The vein at her neck pulses as her fingers perform this light dance on the small of my back that drives me insane. I'm a b.a.s.t.a.r.d if I do this. She doesn't know I'm a Young or that my father may have destroyed her life.

"West." She says my name as a question, as an answer. d.a.m.n me, it was an invitation.

My name. That was my name on her lips. f.u.c.k everything else. Haley knows the real me and for once in my life I'm going to know what it's like to kiss a girl who means something.

"This doesn't mean anything," Haley whispers as she reaches up and pulls at the Velcro of my glove.

"Yes, it does." I bring my arms to my sides and the instant the gloves fall to the floor, my hands latch on to that beautiful body. "Tell me, Haley. Please tell me it does because this means something to me."

Her forehead wrinkles and her eyes are moist as if it's physically painful for her to nod and breathe out the words. "It does... It means something."

Need begs for the physical fast, but Haley isn't one of the girls I duck into hallways with. She's more, and a s.h.i.+ver runs through me. I lower my lips to hers and, with the first taste, I moan. Her lips are sweet, soft...perfect. She exhales, a contented sigh, and my body melts into hers. The metal fencing behind her crackles with our weight.

As if flawlessly synchronized, our mouths move in the same rhythm. Lips drawing in, hands learning curves and muscles, our breaths coming out at faster rates. And when Haley knots her hands in my hair, self-control ruptures.

My arms become steel bands around her waist and I lift her so she fits perfectly to me. Haley latches her arms around my neck and joins me as the kiss races past innocent and into heated-bordering on out of control.

Her neck beckons to me again and the most beautiful sound escapes from her when I give in to the temptation. The spinning in my head spirals toward delirium as Haley s.h.i.+fts her legs. One thigh moves and the other one follows to wrap around my hips. I relish her warm weight pressing into my body. Heat surges through my bloodstream and my fingers dig into her skin.

Then the entire gym starts to shake. Haley drops her legs and I shove her onto the floor, my heart racing and my body covering hers. Metal screeches against metal and I glance over my shoulder.

Haley pushes at me, her nonverbal cue to let her go, but intent on keeping her safe, I ignore her request. The overhead heating unit releases an earsplitting shriek as the fan fights for one more rotation. Another bang vibrates the metal frame that holds the punching bags, and the entire unit shudders, then completely stops.

From beneath me, Haley whispers a curse. "John's going to be p.i.s.sed."

Haley We left John while he was in the middle of a particularly eloquent cursing rant. The moment I knocked on his camper door and told him the heater blew, he forgot my existence. Sneaking out seemed like the best course of action.

West and I haven't said anything to each other since the kiss, which means this car ride is officially awkward. Resting my head against the back of the leather seat, I watch the night as we roll by. What the h.e.l.l was I thinking?

When he backed me against the cage and nipped my ear... I close my eyes. I can still feel the heat of his lips on my neck and what drives me stick-a-knife-in-my-eye insane is as much as I hate myself for kissing West, my body is screaming for a repeat performance.

Stupid body. Stupid, stupid traitorous body.

West eases his car in front of my uncle's and the pathetic part of me wants to dart into the house without acknowledging him. I rub my forehead, covering my eyes. Oh, c.r.a.p, I'm embarra.s.sed. How can I look at him again? We're not even dating and I freaking all but molested him. And that brings up a ton of issues because I don't want to date him... He's a fighter.

"Haley," West says. "About tonight-"

"I don't hook up." I peek at him and whatever he had to say seems to have escaped him as he stares at me with a slack mouth. It's like someone pushed fast-forward on the remote and my thoughts are skipping and racing. "I don't know who that was, but it wasn't me. I mean, have you done this before?"

West runs a hand over his face. "Yeah. It's what I do. f.u.c.k that. It's what I've done, but that's not what was happening between us."

Oh, c.r.a.p, I've digressed into an Octagon Bunny, bouncing from one fighter to the next. Soon I'll be in a bikini, announcing the next round. Just when I think I can't go lower...

"Haley, I swear to G.o.d that wasn't a hookup. I told you that this means something to me. That you mean something to me."

He's saying the right words and a small voice in the back of my mind tells me to listen, but the crazy portion is winning. "Because that's what you tell girls when you drop them off. You don't look at them and say 'I used you.' You lie and say it meant something! I watch MTV!"

"You watch...what?" He shakes his head. "Don't care. What happened between us-"

"Stop it." There's an ache near my heart and my hand claws at my chest. I can't think and I can't draw in a deep breath and I kissed West and I loved kissing him and he makes me laugh and he's a fighter and I like him.

I like him. I more than like him and it terrifies me that I have feelings for West Young. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" West tosses his arms out as if he's mad or frustrated or I don't know what, because I don't trust my reactions on anything anymore.

"Hook up or date a fighter or like or love or anything. I don't want anyone close again." Sheer terror widens my eyes with the rawness of the words. "Have you ever seen the paint sets that have multiple colors?" I've boarded the bus for crazy and somehow I can't get off.

West "Have you ever seen the paint sets that have multiple colors?" Haley rushes out the words as if they'll erase what she said before them.

"Yes," I say slowly, trying to buy us both time. How the h.e.l.l did this get all screwed up? One moment we were kissing; then it blew up in my face. This is karma biting me in the a.s.s for every girl I said pretty things to in order to satisfy myself.

The leather seat squeaks when she faces me. At least she's not running for the safety of the house. "When you open up the set, it's beautiful, right? Each color is perfect and if you're careful, you can paint and paint and paint as long as you take the time to rinse off the color you just used into the water, maybe use a towel and dry the brush before moving on."

She shyly glances away. The tension building between us causes me to s.h.i.+ft. I may not understand it, but Haley's attempting to explain something. I nod, willing her to continue. "Paint, brushes, water. I'm keeping up."

Haley inhales. "Sometimes you get too excited and dip the brush into the paint and the colors get mixed up. All of a sudden I'm no longer yellow and you're no longer blue."

"We become green," I finish for her.

Haley lifts her head and she's raw, completely open. Too open, almost bleeding. "I dated Matt and I sort of became gray and I'm over being gray and I'm not ready to be green. I'd like to try yellow again for a while."

Haley needs time, and I can give her that. Maybe I'll find a way to get my own s.h.i.+t together and figure out how to tell her about my family by then.

She sucks in air as if she swallowed too much water and I throw out a life preserver. "When will you teach me grappling? You said it would be soon."

Haley blinks and what was meant to help her causes her to drop her head back and then forward into her hands. "d.a.m.n."

"What?"