Distorted. Part 11

I s.h.i.+vered at the intensity in his eyes. I knew he meant what he said and it meant so much to me. I didn't know what I'd do without him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and settled my head against his chest. He held me tight, never moving once. We stood there for what seemed like hours when I remembered the pancakes. They were cold by now.

"Hey, knight in s.h.i.+ning armor," I teased, "these pancakes are cold. Thank goodness for the microwave." I plopped them on a plate and set them inside. When they were done, I set the plate down on the counter.

Ethan strode over the barstool and happily gobbled up the rewarmed pancakes. I chuckled at his hearty appet.i.te and was grateful I'd made enough. I was full after two and rinsed my plate, putting it in the dishwasher.

When we were done cleaning up, Ethan walked over to the couch. He sat down and pulled on his shoes. "I guess I'd better get home and get ready for work. Don't ask me how I'll behave if I run into Paul, though."

I let out a sigh. "Ethan, just be professional. This isn't your problem to take on. I don't want you to do anything that would risk your job."

He stood and pulled me into another hug. "I won't, but it doesn't mean I don't want to," he said, rubbing circles over my back.

"I know and I appreciate it. I want you to, as well, but it's not going to happen. I'll take care of Paul myself."

Ethan gave me one last squeeze with a kiss on my cheek and left. After I closed the door behind him, I felt the d.a.m.n tears again and I went into the bathroom, determined to beat them. Paul Pierce wouldn't make me cry for forever, I'd get over him and what he did to me in time. I just wished I believed it.

I made it to the weekend without having to see or talk to Paul other than business emails and texts. He continued to try to talk to me, even coming to my apartment again and pounding on the door, but I sat on my couch ignoring his pleas to let him in. I almost caved, but the pounding stopped and he'd walked away.

At least one thing was going right during this awful week. Norman had responded to my email asking how to get Mr. Halliday to see us. He told me he'd talk to him one more time and ask him to at least sit down with us. I was hopeful Norman would be able to convince him as I was more determined than ever to plead my case. I needed to get a positive response back, though I didn't want to have to think further about it. Paul would have to go with me if Mr. Halliday consented and I wasn't ready to go there yet.

Being that it was Friday night, Ethan was trying to persuade me to go out with him and some others from work for drinks later. I didn't want to, but he wasn't giving up. I was still feeling mixed emotions at the feelings he'd brought out of me the other day and I was hesitant to hang out with him. He'd been so sweet to me and I could tell it would mean a lot to him if I went, so I gave in and told him I'd go. He was ecstatic and told me he'd pick me up at eight. I kept telling myself I was being ridiculous, that Ethan and I were just friends, but I still couldn't get the image of him s.h.i.+rtless and standing against my kitchen counter, looking so intently at me, out of my head.

When I looked at the clock and saw it was already six, I decided to eat something and shower. All I wanted to do was soak in a hot bath and read a mindless novel, but that would have to wait. I shoved some dinner in my mouth and headed off to the bathroom to make myself look somewhat human again. When I saw myself in the mirror, my jaw dropped in horror. My usually well-maintained blonde hair sagged around my face and my olive green eyes had mean dark circles underneath. I cursed at myself for letting Paul have this much affect over me and vowed to move on, again. I needed to get a hold of myself.

I jumped in the shower and vigorously scrubbed my hair and body clean. No more feeling down and out; I was now pumped for the night ahead of me. I was going to forget about Paul Pierce and have fun.

I got dressed in a black mini dress with knee high black boots. I styled my hair in curls and did the smoky eye look for my make up with my favorite soft pink lipstick. I knew I looked good and I was proud of it. It was time to start living and find someone who would treat me the way I deserved. Immediately Ethan popped into my head and I scowled, pus.h.i.+ng him out of my mind.

I heard him knock at eight o'clock sharp. I smiled and grabbed my matching black clutch and opened the door. Ethan stood there looking hot in jeans and a white b.u.t.ton down s.h.i.+rt. His hair was spiked and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw me, although he had no idea how my stomach flip-flopped at the sight of him.

"Holy s.h.i.+t, Aly," he exclaimed.

I smiled again and turned around for him. "How do I look?" I asked.

He gave a low whistle. "s.e.xy as h.e.l.l."

I smiled and shut my door, locking it. He grabbed my hand and pulled me tight to his side. Unfamiliar tingles went up and down my body at his touch. We walked down the hall to the elevator as I tried not to freak out and run.

"You seem to be feeling better," he said as we walked out to his car.

"I am. I saw myself in the mirror and was shocked. It was just what I needed to see to get me out of my funk. I'm excited to go out tonight after all."

"That's my girl," he said as he helped me into his car.

I felt exhilarated as we drove through downtown and saw all the nightlife. I wasn't a party girl, but tonight I would be. I was eager to get this night started and enjoy myself for once.

We got to the club and got out of the car for valet parking. Ethan walked around to me and grabbed my hand. This time when I felt the jolts, I ignored the anxiety it brought and continued walking beside him. I could hear the hard b.u.mps of the music and it only made me more excited to get in there.

We wandered in. The lights were flas.h.i.+ng and the place was buzzing. Ethan kept a hold of my hand and grinned down at me. He led me over to an empty table and sat down next to me in the booth.

"Who all is coming tonight?" I asked him loudly.

"Trisha, Mark, and Sally. They should be here soon."

Hearing Trisha would be here dampened my good mood, but I pushed it aside and nudged him. "Trisha, huh?"

He laughed. "Yes, ma'am. Things are going pretty good. She's fun to be with." I nodded and lowered my head, pretending to read the drink menu.

The server came then and we ordered our drinks. Ethan got a gin and tonic and I ordered my standard cranberry vodka to start. I found myself swaying with the beat and getting a kick out of some of the dancers on the dance floor. One couple was doing lifts and I swore someone would get hurt before the night was over. Watching them lightened my mood and it felt good to just sit and hang out.

Trisha arrived and found us at our table. She slid in next to Ethan, grabbed his face, and gave him a long, lingering kiss. It made me uncomfortable and I found my recent good mood fading when I realized I wanted to be the one kissing him. My nerves were still shot, so I took a gulp of the drink that had just arrived.

"Hi, Aly," Trisha said with a huge smile. "I'm so glad you could come tonight. I haven't seen you at work the past few days. Have you been sick?"

I twisted my hands in my lap. Ethan noticed and covered them with his own. Seeing the gentle look in his eyes, I knew I would be okay. I tried not to be annoyed with Trisha; she had no idea of the recent feelings I'd had for Ethan. I was still trying to figure them out myself.

"Yeah, sort of. I had some things come up that I needed to work from home this week. I'll be back to the office on Monday."

Trisha gave her drink order of a cosmopolitan and looked back at me. "Oh good. Well I hope everything is all right."

I smiled and nodded. "Yep, everything's great." I squeezed Ethan's hand as I said that, then let it go. He didn't need to be fawning over me all night when he had Trisha to pay attention to, but I needed to convince myself of that. I started twisting my hair around my finger, turning my attention back to the charismatic couple on the dance floor.

Sally and Mark showed up a few minutes later and immediately had me in tears, I was laughing so hard and I welcomed their distraction. I'd never gotten to know either of them very well and I had no idea how funny they were. Mark was extremely tall at six foot five and had hilarious stories of his youth and how awkward he was. He and Sally had been dating for a little over a year and they seemed to be a perfect match.

I was on my second cranberry vodka when I felt Ethan go stiff beside me. Looking at him, he nodded his head toward the entrance. When I looked over, my heart froze.

Paul.

My head started spinning, and it wasn't due to the alcohol. I looked over at Ethan with panic in my eyes. He put his arm around me and drew me close. His touch helped calm me a little, but all I wanted to do was just hide under the table. I was not prepared to deal with him tonight. I started to shake.

Ethan leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's okay. I'm here. You have nothing to worry about." I leaned into his shoulder, trying to calm myself down. He pulled me even closer to him and I didn't budge. I noticed Trisha's questioning look, but she didn't say anything and neither did I.

I watched Paul saunter into the bar, and then I watched her rush in after him. Of course, Casey was here too. My fear dissipated and was replaced with fury. The memories of being in that closet, hearing him s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g her, flooded back. I squinted my eyes and looked at him with hatred.

I picked up my gla.s.s and downed the rest of my drink. Who cares if he came to the bar I happened to be at? As far as I was concerned, he wasn't here and I wasn't going to let him ruin my night out. I nodded up to Ethan that I was okay, and joined back in the conversation. Luckily, it didn't seem like the others noticed my change in demeanor much.

While I wanted nothing more, I couldn't shake the awkwardness of knowing Paul was there and it ticked me off. There was an edge in the air and it was suffocating. Ethan did his best to put me at ease and I tried to put on a good act for him; I didn't want to ruin his night or make him even angrier with Paul. He would brush my hand and give it a squeeze, letting me know he was there. Trisha was doing her best to keep his attention on her and I froze when I heard her ask him to dance.

Ethan looked at me, then back to Trisha. "Um, not now, sweetheart. Give me a minute, okay?"

"Why? Is something wrong? Are you okay, Aly?"

She didn't miss him looking at me. While I didn't want Ethan leaving my side, I knew he had to. "I'm fine. Go on, Ethan. I want to see you shake your moves."

He still hesitated. "Are you sure?"

I pushed him out of the seat. "Yes, go."

He gave me one last look then stood up and slowly walked to the dance floor with Trisha. Mark and Sally had left earlier to dance so I was alone. I took a sip of my drink and settled back against my seat, continuing to twist my hair around my fingers. I felt weird being all-alone at the table and I didn't want to be noticed.

I was looking at my phone when I sensed him.

"Aly?"

I looked up and my heart slammed in my chest. There he was, looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen him before. He was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved green cotton V-neck sweater that brought out the emerald in his eyes. His hair was styled in its signature messy waves and the scruff on his face was a few days old. I felt myself melting just looking at him, but my instincts were screaming to be careful.

"Paul," I responded, looking back at my phone like I couldn't care less he was standing right there before me.

He stepped closer. "I've been trying to talk to you all week. I've been going crazy."

I looked back at him, and shrugged my shoulders. "I know. Did you forget that I told you I wouldn't communicate with you other than business? I meant it."

"I didn't forget. May I sit down for just a second?"

I twisted my gaze toward him. "I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, I saw Casey here. I'd rather not deal with you two at the moment." I turned my head away, trying to convey my feelings.

I heard him sigh and walk closer to me. "Please. You don't know what I've been going through this week. I have to talk to you and I won't leave until I do."

I glared at him. "What you've been going through? Are you serious? Don't even go there, Paul," I told him. I was furious he'd even say something like that after what he did to me.

He sat down next to me, still uninvited. I immediately scooted away from him. "Don't. This isn't the place to get into it. I came here to forget about you. Please, just go away."

His face fell. "What do you mean forget about me? Aly, I am so sorry. If I could take back what happened, I would in a heartbeat. I've been a wreck all week not being able to see you, to talk to you."

I looked at his face and saw the pain. He was telling the truth. I felt a thrill at that, but not enough to forgive and forget.

"I'm really not concerned with your feelings at the moment, just like you weren't concerned with mine while I was hiding in the closet. It was horrible having to sit in there listening to you two having s.e.x. It was excruciating because it was right after you and I had s.e.x, Paul. Right after. You have no idea."

He was about to respond when Ethan appeared.

"What are you doing, Pierce?" he asked in a low, but deadly, tone.

Paul looked up at Ethan and Trisha, then back to me. "I'm talking to Aly. Is that a problem?"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's a problem. You need to leave."

Trisha looked at Ethan with horror then to me. I shook my head, indicating for her to stay out it. Paul and Ethan were having a stare down and I wasn't sure who was going to win. I tried to get Ethan's attention discreetly, but he wasn't looking anywhere but Paul.

"I believe this is between me and Aly," Paul said, gritting his teeth. "I'll let her decide whether I stay or go." He then looked over at me, raising a brow. I looked over to Ethan, and saw his jaw twitching. He was extremely mad. I didn't know what to do.

I looked at Paul and saw the pain in his eyes. While I was glad to see he seemed remorseful, it still didn't do much to make me want to talk to him. Ethan started tapping his foot, which brought me back to the issue at hand.

"Paul, I think it's best you leave. I will be at the office on Monday. We can catch up on business then."

I didn't miss the pain in Paul's eyes before he recovered and put a blank look on his face. He looked at me, then at Ethan, before standing up. Ethan had a look of victory on his face and while I understood it, it still bothered me.

"If that's what you want, Aly," Paul said as he started to turn away. All of a sudden, Casey appeared out of nowhere and slammed into him, knocking him against the table. I gave a little cry when a few drinks spilled on me.

"There you are, baby," she slurred, barely keeping her balance holding onto him as he righted himself. He gave her a look of annoyance as he turned to grab a few napkins and handed them to me. Ethan intervened and got them before I did, helping me wipe away the liquid on my dress.

"Just get her out of here, Pierce," Ethan seethed. "I've got things under control here. You're not needed."

Paul started to say something back to him, but looked at me and reconsidered. I shot a glare at Casey then nodded at Paul to go.

"I'm sorry, Aly," he said. "For everything." He turned and grabbed Casey, pulling her after him.

Tears sprang to my eyes as Ethan and I wiped at my dress. Mortified, I turned my head away and tried to gain some composure. Ethan sat down next to me and gently finished wiping off my dress, then the table. Trisha stood there staring at us, then excused herself to go to the restroom.

Ethan put his arm around me and leaned over. His warm breath brushed my ear when he spoke. "It's okay," he whispered, rubbing his hand down my arm. I looked over at him and his eyes drew together when he saw the tears.

"Aly," he whispered. "Don't cry over him. He's not worth it." He pulled me into a hug and held me tight. I let the tears fall down my face as I hid my head in his chest. Seeing Paul tonight shattered me. Memories of our tryst on his desk flooded my head and I cried even harder. This pain was indescribable and I wasn't sure I'd survive it.

"Shh," Ethan soothed. "It's okay. Don't let him get to you like this. I'm here."

I finally calmed down and lifted my head, sniffing then wiping my nose with the napkin I still held onto. Ethan smiled down at me and softly brushed my cheek.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked.

I sat there for a minute, thinking. I saw Trisha approaching and while all I wanted to do was get up and move elsewhere; I knew he was really here with her. I shook my head and nodded toward her.

"You came here to get to know her better. Dancing with me would only take away from that. I don't want her to get the wrong idea about us either, Ethan."

He turned and looked at Trisha. When she reached us, she slid in next to him. She looked over at us with a questioning look in her eye.

"Hey, Trisha," Ethan said. "Would you mind if I took Aly out on the dance floor for one quick dance?"

I looked at him in shock, then at Trisha. She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "No, of course not. I'll just sit here and order another drink."

I felt bad for her. I knew she was unsure of what was going on between Ethan and I. I wanted to somehow a.s.sure her that it was nothing, so I smiled at her and shrugged.

"Well, okay. If you're sure."

"I am," she said.

She scooted out of the booth to let Ethan and me out. He grabbed my hand as we walked to the dance floor. The electricity his touch had been giving me ignited again and I wanted to curse, especially because they were getting stronger.

We got to the dance floor just as the song changed to Norah Jones "Come Away With Me". Ethan grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around my waist. I sighed, knowing I didn't want to resist the pull I felt toward him at the moment. I just wanted to feel loved for a little while.

Ethan held me as we swayed to the music and I felt everything else disappear in that moment. All I knew was Ethan - holding me and making me feel safe and protected. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest.

I felt him lean in close and hold me tighter. As the song was coming to an end, he pulled back and looked in my eyes. The desire I saw there lit a flame inside of me and it scared me. My feelings caught me so off guard and I didn't know how to handle them. I still loved Paul, even though I was completely devastated by what he had done. Getting over him wouldn't be easy, no matter what, and the last thing I needed to do was use Ethan as a crutch to get through it. He was my best friend and I would never do anything to hurt him, but as he held me and looked at me with those smoldering hazel eyes, I asked myself if I could really stay away.

The song ended and the look in Ethan's eyes was pulling me to him. I wanted him to kiss me and that thought shook me back to reality. I jerked out of his arms and folded my own across my chest, taking deep breaths. Ethan looked at me, puzzled, and took a step toward me. I held up a hand, stopping him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, confused.

I shook my head. I couldn't do this. Ethan was my friend, only my friend. I needed to get out of there, to have some s.p.a.ce between us. I couldn't use him to get over Paul and I was convinced these feelings were just that.