The Distraction Trilogy: Distraction Part 40

A man like Isaac doesn't admit his love easily and he may have said it by accident, but he still said it. He still meant it.

The unattainable male loves me... ME! I should be happy dancing.

Unfortunately I have to work. I b.l.o.o.d.y hate Tuesdays. Or I did until today.

Tuesday will forever be the day I remember as the day he told me how he felt... by accident.

Isaac That didn't go as planned.

What do I do now?

I should just listen to her and leave it. There's no point in stirring up something. The girl is eighteen; she can make her own decisions.

I honestly can't believe I said love. I don't love Eloise... I care about her a lot, but this isn't love. I think. It's close to it, but it's not quite.

I don't know how to handle any of this.

I sit with my mum and dad, hating how frail she looks as my dad helps her eat her dinner. She's even worse than she was last week. Her hands are trembling so badly she can't even hold a fork between her fingers.

"Thirsty?" I ask her and she gives me the blankest, gla.s.sy eyed look I've ever seen.

My dad helps her bring a gla.s.s to her lips and she gulps it down faster than I've ever seen her gulp down a drink before.

She keeps forgetting to eat, so we now have her on a schedule. She's lost so much weight. She forgets that she's hungry and tips her food away. The progression is quick, too quick.

Dad picks up her almost empty plate and kisses her head as he stands.

She turns to the TV with the remote in hand and flicks through the channels. Lately she hasn't wanted to be around us. When she's not having a bad moment, she's quiet, down and definitely depressed. According to Susanna she doesn't want us to visit.

I'm not wasting any more time staying away.

"What's he doing in there?" Mum hisses after a minute.

"He's was.h.i.+ng the dishes."

Mum's eyes s.h.i.+ft to the doorway and narrow. "What are you doing in there?"

"Was.h.i.+ng the dishes." My dad walks back through with suds up to his elbows.

Mum looks away, her face a mask of suspicion and distrust. Sighing, my dad returns to the kitchen.

I take the remote from Mum, winking at her when she tries to take it back.

"Pain in the a.r.s.e."

I only laugh and pick a movie as she sulks. Dad would tell me off, but I honestly don't think that smothering her and treating her like a spoilt child will make her last ounce of time with us any better.

I think what she needs is normality and me taking the remote is normality. It's what I do.

I sat on the couch beside Elle, who held a large bowl of cinnamon flavoured cereal on her lap. She spooned a mouthful, her eyes on some reality show on the TV.

There was no way in h.e.l.l I was watching that s.h.i.+t. She seemed glued to the TV so I didn't think she'd notice me lean around her for the remote. I was wrong. The second my fingertips touched the plastic, I felt the metal curve of the spoon against my knuckles.

"f.u.c.k! Ouch! What the h.e.l.l?" She returned to eating, not even removing her eyes from the TV. "That hurt." Again she didn't acknowledge me.

I tried again a couple of times, getting the same result, before standing and walking to the fridge.

"Thirsty?" I asked, hearing her crunch her food.

"No."

"No thank you," I corrected, but again I got no response.

I snuck behind her, crouching low, feeling like the guy out of Mission Impossible.

I thought for sure she couldn't hear me.

And again I was wrong. This time the spoon hit me on the head. "You're not having it."

Ouch. I rubbed the sore spot on my scalp and moved back to my seat. It was pointless. She was too quick.

So I stole her cereal and the spoon.

I think back to that moment and remember I didn't actually want to change the channel. I just wanted her attention and I got it. The second I stole her cereal, she started shouting at me, telling me to get my own before she went to make herself another bowl.

I laughed the entire time.

Maybe I do love her.

I remember at that point in time having a warm feeling in my chest as she chastised me and stropped in the kitchen, slamming doors and angrily searching through the drawer for another spoon.

I guarded myself and s.h.i.+fted away just in case she decided to try and beat me again. It was strange because it hurt like h.e.l.l but it was too cute for me to try and stop.

We made love that night.

I remember touching her slowly, admiring her body, kissing every inch of her. I remember lying back and letting her do the same.

Her sighs, whimpers and moans still float through my mind, the way she'd fall completely silent when in the middle of an o.r.g.a.s.m.

Mum s.n.a.t.c.hes the remote back, jolting me from my thoughts. It's strange what random things trigger random memories.

I wonder if it's like this between Diplock and Shannon. I wonder what I would do if I were married at this point. I'd like to think I'd be faithful and be able to resist Eloise's charms and spirit, but I can't imagine ever feeling so strongly for anyone else. I think if I were married my feelings towards Eloise would shadow every other feeling I ever had for my life partner.

She's the worst kind of distraction and I'm not even sure she knows it.

That makes me sad, knowing I'll never love on a level that will ever make another woman happy and I'm not sure why I've fallen this way for one of my students. It seems so unfair that I'm going to be plagued with knowing that I can't have her, even though I want her so badly.

"What's wrong?" My mum asks, seeming to snap back to normal all of a sudden.

I shake my head and bring her hand to my lips. "Nothing. I'm perfectly fine."

If only I could talk to her about it.

Chapter Twenty Six.

Eloise I f.u.c.king hate Valentine's Day. It's so depressing.

Eloise: Please change your mind and come to mine and eat chocolate with me.

Hayley: Ummm.... NO! I'm snuggling, s.e.xing and getting my love on.

Eloise: What's the point in having friends?

Hayley: Stop being morbid. I thought you were working anyway?

Eloise: Until nine. Can't you get done s.e.xing by then?

Hayley: h.e.l.la NOPE!! Love you, miss you and I will make it up to you. <3><3><3 i="" never="" used="" to="" care="" about="" valentine's="" day="" but,="" after="" the="" past="" few="" weeks="" i've="" had,="" i="" really="" wish="" i="" had="" an="" isaac="" to="" cuddle="" up="" to="">

A man I meant, not an Isaac.

He's done nothing but blank me since that day, apart from when he gave me the exercise book I needed. He hasn't spoken to me at all. He's been professional.

I hate it.

I pop a piece of chocolate into my mouth and punch the paper heart that keeps swaying on the pink ribbon it's dangling from the ceiling on.

Another thing I hate about Valentine's Day: my new boss loves it, which means I had to decorate the taxi office with the other phone ladies.

Everybody is going out tonight and having fun. I'm seriously contemplating throwing myself off a building.

I answer the phone when it rings and instantly recognise the voice.

"Susanna?" I ask, booking her a taxi from Mr Price's house.

"The one and only," she giggles, sounding giddy and annoying like every other female with a hot date tonight.

"What are your plans for the evening?" I've never had much of a conversation with the woman but she's always been so kind and friendly.

"I have a date!" She squeals. I pull the phone away from my ear. "I just finished work. Mr Price was nice enough to let me get ready here. It made no sense me going all the way to mine."

"Well I'll let you get on with your date."

"Don't you have any plans?"

I let out a sigh. "Nope, I'm flying miserably solo tonight." Not really miserably; I can't be a.r.s.ed with men.

"What's the address?"

It never occurred to me that it could be him. I guess I just a.s.sumed he didn't like her that way, so when she says the address my mouth goes dry and my entire body convulses in pain. He can take her out to dinner in town, celebrate with her proudly clinging to his arm.

"Elle?"

"I'm here, sorry the computer wouldn't log it. Two seconds." I hate you. "Okay, that's all booked for you. Have a great night!"

"We're going to that place just outside of town. Apparently it's packed though."

Choke on lettuce!

Okay, so I'm a little bit hysterical. It's okay. I'll be fine. I just need to calm down. I just don't understand how he can suddenly date and I can't. What's wrong with me? n.o.body should be alone on Valentine's Day.

"Have fun." I hang up and bang my head against the desk over and over again until it throbs with a dull pain.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Katie, my friendly co-worker who wears too much perfume and not enough clothes for her age of forty five, asks.

"I don't have a date." I whine, banging my head one more time. "I'm the only one without a date."

"Consider yourself lucky. Try having a husband," she chuckles, patting me on the back of the head before stealing one of my chocolates. "I find it hard to believe a young, gorgeous girl like you didn't get any offers though."

I raise my head to look at her. "I'm recovering from heart break. I rejected one or two."

"Oh..." She shakes her head. "That was silly. The best part of recovering from heart break is finding yourself a rebound. That's how I met my husband."

Blink. "I'll, umm... remember that."

"Wait... did he cheat on you?" Her eyes darken. "Because if he did, make sure your rebound is one of his friends. Preferably a close one."

No way in h.e.l.l am I getting mixed up with another teacher. "Thanks, I'll remember that too."

She's insane. I kind of like it.

The phone rings again so we separate and get back to work.

Eloise: Find me a date!

Hayley: I found you three and you said no...

Eloise: I changed my mind. I want that cute guy with the dark hair and the thin moustache!

Hayley: He's probably got a date already.