Kiss Heaven Goodbye Part 9

'Today?'

'Immediately.'

Grace looked relieved. 'Are you going to ask them to find out what happened on the beach?'

Her father frowned and shook his head. 'Don't be ridiculous,' he said. 'I'm going to ask them to get my boat back. There are half a dozen islands within a one-mile radius of Angel Cay and I'm going to have each one searched until we find him. Then I'm going to have the little thief clapped in irons.'

'But ...'

'Until then, I suggest we all keep a tight lid on this. I have very important clients arriving at lunchtime and I don't need the distraction. Let me handle this. You just forget it. Go and finish packing. As you know, the boat will be taking you to Na.s.sau after breakfast. '

Miles gave a small smile of satisfaction.

'But ...' began Grace again.

'This meeting is over, Grace. The incident is closed.'

Alex lowered his head, his shoulders bowed with regret, fear and shame that, he knew then, would last him a lifetime. Part Two

12

December 1990

The Knightsbridge offices of the D&D advertising agency were impressive, but Sasha was too cold to notice. The dazzling white marble lobby with ultra-modern gla.s.s and chrome fittings and huge abstract artworks hanging on the walls failed to register with Sasha as she pushed through the revolving doors; she was simply glad to be in out of the biting Arctic wind. This winter seemed colder and more miserable than ever, she thought as she unzipped her thin leather jacket and click-clacked across to the lifts in her five-inch heels. But the dark clouds seemed to suit her mood exactly. It had been six months since she had finished at Danehurst and life wasn't turning out how she had imagined it at all. By now she'd thought she'd be the next big thing in modelling, Britain's Christy Turlington or a white Naomi Campbell. She'd had visions of days filled with photo shoots and fas.h.i.+on shows, the evenings spent at glamorous parties with celebrities and millionaires, before returning home to a loft apartment on Chelsea's King's Road with a Saudi prince or an oil baron on her arm.

But no, she sighed, thinking of the indignity of having to arrive at the agency by bus. bus. Since summer, life seemed to have been reduced to one round of almost constant rejection, and it wasn't something Sasha was prepared for. Her split from Miles had been traumatic enough, given that she'd had their entire life mapped out in front of them, but the b.a.s.t.a.r.d wasn't even taking her phone calls any more. She'd flunked her A levels, and although she hated to admit it, her modelling career had hardly been much more successful a teen magazine fas.h.i.+on shoot and one day's work handing out leaflets at a fast car show. The worst part, however, had been the castings. Today's go-see was her fourth of the day, the twentieth of the week, and she knew exactly how it would go. The scene at each appointment, whether at an ad agency or a glossy magazine, was depressingly the same. The fas.h.i.+on editor or art director would flick lifelessly through her portfolio as if there was nothing in it of interest whatsoever, look her up and down with a sour expression, then dismiss her with a quick nod of the head. And that was the good ones; sometimes they would actually discuss her shortcomings out loud. ' Since summer, life seemed to have been reduced to one round of almost constant rejection, and it wasn't something Sasha was prepared for. Her split from Miles had been traumatic enough, given that she'd had their entire life mapped out in front of them, but the b.a.s.t.a.r.d wasn't even taking her phone calls any more. She'd flunked her A levels, and although she hated to admit it, her modelling career had hardly been much more successful a teen magazine fas.h.i.+on shoot and one day's work handing out leaflets at a fast car show. The worst part, however, had been the castings. Today's go-see was her fourth of the day, the twentieth of the week, and she knew exactly how it would go. The scene at each appointment, whether at an ad agency or a glossy magazine, was depressingly the same. The fas.h.i.+on editor or art director would flick lifelessly through her portfolio as if there was nothing in it of interest whatsoever, look her up and down with a sour expression, then dismiss her with a quick nod of the head. And that was the good ones; sometimes they would actually discuss her shortcomings out loud. 'She'll never fit into the Ralph Lauren dress with those arms.'

For someone who had spent her entire life being told she was beautiful, it had been unfathomable. But Sasha was far too proud and stubborn to give in. No, she hadn't spent the last five years doggedly working on improving her social position to give it all up now, Miles or no Miles. Her face would be her fortune or she would die trying. Let's hope it doesn't come to that Let's hope it doesn't come to that, she thought, tossing her hair back over her shoulders as she exited the lift and strode up to the reception desk.

'In the boardroom, last door on the left,' said a bored brunette, pointing down the corridor.

Sasha took a seat on a chair outside, making sure to straighten her shoulders and back; you never knew who might be watching, although the only people she could see was a huddle of secretaries gathered around a photocopier babbling about the D&D Christmas party that evening.

After a few moments, she was summoned into the room, where the ad executives, a man and an older woman with a chocolate-brown bob, were sitting behind a desk. Unsmiling, the brunette asked for Sasha's portfolio and flicked through it without interest. Sasha tried not to flinch. There were fewer than thirty photos inside it just test shots, done by up-and-coming photographers to beef it up.

'I'm new,' said Sasha by way of explanation. 'I've been living in the Caribbean,' she added, hoping to sound more glamorous than her body of work suggested.

'How old are you?' asked the brunette.

'Nineteen. Nearly.'

'Have you thought about getting your nose fixed?'

Sasha blinked, trying to keep her face as even as possible. 'Cindy Crawford didn't get her mole done,' she said brightly. 'I think it's sometimes best to leave things as nature intended.'

The male executive smiled and walked over to a video camera mounted on a tripod. 'Shall we?' he asked his colleague, who just shrugged.

The man was young but important-looking, dressed in a black turtleneck and small wire-framed John Lennon gla.s.ses; Sasha deduced he was the art director. He waved her over to a chair in front of the camera and she felt an unexpected flurry of nerves. Every rejection she had so far received would be worth it if she scored this one gig. D&D's biggest client was Benson confectionery, and the rumour was that they were currently looking for a girl to front a campaign for a new range of chocolate ice-cream bars. Forget the money this would mean print ads, billboards and, more importantly, television ads. Whoever landed this would have their face on every street corner and in every front room throughout the summer. It wasn't Vogue Vogue, but it was big.

'I'd like you to say these words to camera,' said the brunette, making some notes on a yellow pad in front of her.'Venus ice cream. It's chocolicious.'

Sasha was suddenly glad of the three-week drama summer school she had attended in 1985.

'How do you want me to say "chocolicious"?' she asked. 'Playfully? s.e.xily? I can put on an American accent if you'd like. I've spent a lot of time in New York and Miami.'

'English will be fine,' replied the brunette thinly.

A red light flicked on and Sasha fixed her gaze into the black depths of the camera lens.

'Try Venus,' she said, pouting. 'It's chocolicious.'

'Can you stick to the script?' said the woman with irritation.

'Of course,' said Sasha, turning back to the camera.

'Venus ice cream,' she breathed, more seductively this time. 'It's chocolicious.'

It better be, thought Sasha, and smiled a dazzling smile.'So how was the casting? Who was it again? Vogue Vogue?'

Carole Sinclair was sitting waiting for her daughter at a corner table in Harrods restaurant. In town for last-minute Christmas shopping, she had insisted on meeting Sasha after her casting and 'treating' her to afternoon tea. This annoyed Sasha; as a failed ex-model herself, her mother knew full well that she couldn't actually eat anything.

At forty-eight, Sasha's mother looked ten years younger. She had perfectly blow-dried hair and her skin was lightly tanned from a recent tennis holiday in the Algarve. Around her feet were an a.s.sortment of green and gold Harrods carrier bags. Sasha had overheard her father say that they should 'pull our belts in this Christmas' but Carole clearly hadn't been paying attention.

'No,' said Sasha, air-kissing her mother and sitting down. 'It was an ad agency. They're casting for the Venus chocolate girl.'

'So have you got it?' Carole asked with a note of disapproval.

'I don't know yet.'

'Maybe if you didn't wear jeans for your appointments you might be a bit more successful,' she said, looking at Sasha's skin-tight Levis.

Sasha rolled her eyes. 'What do you want me to wear, Mum? Couture?'

Carole picked a piece of imaginary lint from her tailored trousers. 'I just think you might do better if you made yourself look a bit prettier. In my day we got dressed up when we went to see clients.'

'And look what good it did you.'

Carole Sinclair gave her daughter a tart glance. 'I only want the best for you, darling.'

The best for yourself, thought Sasha. At school, Sasha had spent so many years describing her father as the CFO of a multinational company that she had almost come to believe it herself, but the truth was a little less glamorous. Gerald Sinclair was the in-house accountant for a small s.h.i.+pping company and brought home 50,000 a year. A good salary, but not enough to keep Carole in the manner she desired. A townhouse in Belgravia and a chauffeur-driven Roller would have suited her mother's ambitions; instead she had a four-bedroom semi in Esher and a three-year-old BMW. thought Sasha. At school, Sasha had spent so many years describing her father as the CFO of a multinational company that she had almost come to believe it herself, but the truth was a little less glamorous. Gerald Sinclair was the in-house accountant for a small s.h.i.+pping company and brought home 50,000 a year. A good salary, but not enough to keep Carole in the manner she desired. A townhouse in Belgravia and a chauffeur-driven Roller would have suited her mother's ambitions; instead she had a four-bedroom semi in Esher and a three-year-old BMW.

'Aren't you going to eat that sandwich?'

Sasha shook her head and glared at her mother. Before she'd even had her first casting, the agency had baldly told her that she needed to lose at least a stone, so she had spent the last six months of her life hungry.

'Fair enough. We don't want you putting on too much weight over Christmas, do we?'

Christmas, thought Sasha. Perhaps now would be a good time to bring up the loan. She'd tried asking her father, but every time she mentioned it, he politely changed the conversation. thought Sasha. Perhaps now would be a good time to bring up the loan. She'd tried asking her father, but every time she mentioned it, he politely changed the conversation. Well, if you can't ask during the season of giving Well, if you can't ask during the season of giving... she thought.

'Did you and Dad think any more about lending me the deposit for a flat?'

Carole put down her Earl Grey tea. 'I fail to see why you need to move to town when you have a perfectly good bedroom in Esher.'

'Come on, Mum. What about when I go out? It's thirty pounds in a taxi from the King's Road.'

'Why do you need to be going to nightclubs all the time?'

'You know know I need to go out,' said Sasha, exasperated. 'I need to meet people, make contacts. It was the same in your day.' I need to go out,' said Sasha, exasperated. 'I need to meet people, make contacts. It was the same in your day.'

Carole shrugged and looked away.'What about Caroline's house?' she asked.

Sasha cast her eyes to the ceiling. Caroline was a friend from Danehurst who was now working at Pickton House publishers. For the last four months Sasha had had a tacit agreement with her: in return for Sasha getting Caroline and her two housemates into the many clubs and parties which routinely invited models from the agency, Caroline would let Sasha crash in their draughty end-of-terrace in Chelsea's Flood Street. Not that she got a real bed; she was relegated to a camp bed in a corridor where they kept their bikes and coats. She would wake up with a crick in her neck and Caroline banging on about the fabulous night they'd had. She was beginning to think she had got the rough end of the bargain.

'How can I look pretty pretty for castings after sleeping on someone's ratty couch?' for castings after sleeping on someone's ratty couch?'

'Is this about bringing men home?' said Carole.

Sasha didn't blush. She and her mother had always had a very open relations.h.i.+p when it came to s.e.x; indeed, Carole had instilled in her daughter the importance of using her looks and body to snare a rich man. 'Keep him happy in bed,' she had said, 'and he'll keep your bank account full.'

'No,' she sighed. 'But say I do meet a Hollywood film director in Raffles, I can hardly bring him back to my mum and dad's house, can I?'

Carole sighed. 'Look, we can probably give you the deposit, but how are you going to pay rent every month? You're hardly snowed under with work.'

'I'll sort something out.'

Her mother looked sceptical. 'Sorry, sweetie, I have to fly,' she said, gathering her things. 'I fancy quail tonight and if I don't pop downstairs and buy it now, I'll never make the five fifty train.'

Sasha felt anger rise up in her stomach. It didn't seem so long ago that her mother would have done anything to improve the social lot of her only daughter. Why couldn't she understand? Did she want Sasha to end up stranded in suburbia like her?

'I see,' said Sasha bitterly. 'You can do your weekly shop at Harrods food hall and fill your wardrobe with clothes you hardly wear, but you can't give your daughter a home.'

Carole glared at her. 'Don't speak to me like that.'

'Well, I thought you wanted the best for me.'

'Of course I do, but your father ...'

Sasha frowned. 'What about Dad? Doesn't he want me to have a nice flat?'

With evident reluctance, Carole sat down again, then glanced around to make sure they weren't being overheard.

'If you must know, there's been a change of management at your father's company. They've been talking about redundancies.'

Sasha panicked. 'Daddy's going to lose his job?'

'No, nothing like that. But he might have to go down to three or four days a week. It's this b.l.o.o.d.y recession.'

Sasha put her hand over her mouth. 'Oh G.o.d,' she said. It had been bad enough lying about her background for so long, she couldn't stand to actually be poor poor.

Carole put her hand on Sasha's. 'Don't worry, your dad and I will be fine.'

It's not you I'm worried about, thought Sasha, glancing at her mother's carrier bags with irritation. thought Sasha, glancing at her mother's carrier bags with irritation.

'Can I give you some advice, mother to daughter?' added Carole. 'Why don't you give Miles a ring?'

Sasha couldn't believe her ears. Her mother had seen how upset she had been after she had flown back from Angel Cay. And anyway, she had tried to ring him he didn't seem too keen to pick up the phone.

'What do you suggest, Mother?' she said sarcastically. 'That I should ask him to pay my rent?'

Carole waved the jibe away. 'But darling, he'll be back from Oxford for the holidays. He'll have spent a whole term surrounded by all those plain, swotty bluestockings. Now's the time to strike.'

Sasha stood up and pushed her chair in. 'I can't believe you'd suggest such a thing,' she said, picking up her portfolio. 'You may be happy to wh.o.r.e yourself to a man, but that is something I will never do.'

Registering with satisfaction the look of shock and outrage on her mother's face, she turned on her heel and walked out. Well, if she won't give me what I want Well, if she won't give me what I want, she thought, I'll just have to get it myself. I'll just have to get it myself.

And she smiled for the first time in days.Standing in the warmth of Caroline's bedroom, Sasha pulled the contents of her small overnight bag on to her friend's bed. It was depressingly slim pickings for a night out. One dress, two tops and a pair of white jeans.

'So what's the party tonight?' asked Caroline as she unselfconsciously stripped off.

'Oh, just some drinks company. Are Deborah and Jenny coming out?' Sasha asked. Caroline's two housemates hadn't been in when she arrived.

'No. Deb's got her office party and Jenny's got this new boyfriend.'

'The one she met at Raffles?'

'The one with the Porsche. Anyway, speaking of those two ...' Caroline took a sip of her Lambrusco. 'Debs was asking when ... if you're going to start paying some, er, some rent.'

'Rent? For the bike shed?'

'It's part of the house,' said Caroline.

Sasha snorted. 'Barely.'

'Look. Don't shoot the messenger. I don't think they were thinking much. More like a contribution to bills really.'

This was the last thing Sasha needed.

'Frankly, I'm offended,' she said. 'It's fine for me to bunk down when they want tickets to parties and free drinks and boys on tap, but as soon as Jenny gets a boyfriend I'm in the way.'

Caroline looked awkward. 'Listen, between you and me, I think Jenny will be moving out soon anyway, so I'll probably take her room and you could have this one.'