Tomahawk'd Part 3

She lay back on her side and rested her head in her hand. Unconsciously, her free hand found its way under her V-neck sweater to caress the pigmented skin above her right breast. "Hawk, I miss you so much." The thought of Erin brought on a new wave of tears from the broken heart that had never healed. Jackson knew things would be better if Erin were with her.

She remained on the roof of the boathouse for more than an hour. The sun began to set on the water and it always took her breath away to watch. When the last of the color dipped into the horizon, she made her way down the ladder to check on her guests. After making sure everyone had enough linens and shooing the kids out of the fish house, she went back to the main cabin.

Cindy was sitting in a rocking chair in the family room. She smiled when she heard Jackson return. "Hey, did you have a nice walk?"

"As good as can be expected." They shared a sad smile. "Did she wake up?"

Nodding, Cindy said, "Only for a few minutes then she fell back asleep. She should wake up soon, though."

Jackson nodded at the update and sat on the couch. Releasing a long breath, she raked her fingers through her hair. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes.

"Jack?"

Opening them slowly, Jackson looked at Cindy. "Hmm?"

"Who's Erin?" Watching the color drain from Jackson's face startled her into a near panic. "Jack! Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Mustering some saliva into her dry mouth, she swallowed before speaking. "How do you know about Erin?" Barely managing to get the words out, Jackson's eyes closed again, this time in pain.

"Jackie mentioned her when she woke up. Something about needing you to call her," she explained, not understanding what was going on.

Jackson opened her eyes and shot up off the couch. "I can't!" Her eyes were wide, like a scared child's. "Why would Jackie need me to call her?" She began to pace like a caged animal.

Cindy watched in surprise as the normally stoic woman came apart at the seams.

"She told me not to call her, Jackie knows that!" She crumbled onto the couch and put her head in her hands, grasping her hair tightly. "I can't." The words were strangled.

The tiny ring of a bell caused both women to hurry to Jackie's room.

Jackson gave her aunt some water and put the gla.s.s on the side table. Jackie, seeing her niece's red eyes, knew she'd been crying and reached up to touch her hand. The younger woman looked down at beseeching eyes and knelt on the floor.

"What is it, Jackie? Are you in pain?"

Swallowing excess saliva in her mouth, Jackie looked to Cindy. "Could you leave us for a little?" She breathed a few times. "I want to talk to Jack."

Understanding their need for privacy, Cindy nodded and closed the door as she left.

"Jackson...what's on your mind?" She paused. "And don't tell me nothing or I'll get out of this bed and knock some sense into you."

Chuckling at her aunt's "threat", Jackson knew they needed to talk about the Erin situation. "You know I can't call Erin, Jackie. Why did you tell Cindy to tell me that?"

Rolling her eyes at the stubbornness of her niece, Jackie said, "I...I'd like to see her."

Jackson wasn't sure what to say to that. "Jackie...I...I don't know if I can after all this time. It's been seven years..."

"Seven years you'll never get back."

Understanding reached the mismatched eyes. "I know."

"Honey, I've watched you live your life since Erin left." She paused to catch her breath. "I've seen you go through the motions, but not once have I seen the happiness in your eyes that I used to. I know what her mother did to you guys was wrong, but sometimes you have to fight to get the girl."

"But..."

"Don't make the same mistake I did."

Jackson didn't understand her aunt at first, but when she reached into the recesses of her memory, a tall woman with red hair came into view. A woman she had known for only a short time. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Sandra?"

Jackie nodded slowly. "Don't let the love of your life walk away from you. If I could go back...and change that error in my judgment...I would do it in a second. I should've fought harder."

"I always wondered why you broke up. You never told me." Jackson's voice was rough with emotion.

"You were... what, sixteen, and going through so much that summer dealing with your own s.e.xuality. I didn't think it was right to dump all of that on you. But it was really hard for me."

"But...you've always seemed so happy." She had never realized her aunt was missing someone so precious to her.

Jackie reached up and cupped her niece's cheek. "My little Jack... Sometimes you're so naive. I was happy because I had you." A tear ran down her cheek, but Jackson stopped it before it went into her ear. "I couldn't have loved you any more...even if I were your real mother."

Tears flowed freely down the young woman's face at the declaration. "You are my real mother. I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

The two women embraced, as far as the technology around them would allow. Jackson couldn't remember a time she'd felt so great a loss. She'd not known her grandparents enough to mourn them. Jackie told her stories, though, and a slew of photographs were always at the ready, just in case she needed a refresher course.

Jackie was quite worn out from their exchange. "Honey, I need to rest, I'm beat."

"Okay." Jackson got up to leave.

"Promise me that you'll make that call."

Jackson contemplated the ramifications of making such a promise.

"Please? Do it for me."

For seven heartwrenching years, she hadn't done it for herself, but Jackie was asking it of her. And Jackie would get anything and everything she wanted, no matter what. "I promise."

After letting Cindy know Jackie was asleep, Jackson went into her room and closed the door. Flopping wordlessly onto her bed, she reached into the top drawer of her night table and grabbed her address book. She flipped the pages over until she landed on the tab with the letter "H" on it. Just seeing the name brought on a flurry of emotions she had no earthly idea what to do with. She just hoped, for Jackie's sake, Erin's family still lived in the same place.

With shaking hands, she picked up the phone and began to dial. When it started to ring, her heart raced.

"h.e.l.lo?" the long-remembered voice answered.

"Mrs. Hawkins?"

"Yes?"

She swallowed. "This is Jackson Thomas."

"Jackson, how are you, dear?" Dear? You condescending little... "It's been a long, long time."

Not long enough, lady. "Yes, it has." Here goes... "Um...I'm calling to see if you can give me Erin's contact information."

"I see."

Jackson didn't miss the change of tone in Erin's mother's voice. "My Aunt Jackie is terminally ill and would really like to see her," she explained, trying to stop the narrow-minded and bigoted woman's thought process.

"Oh." Jackson heard the change in Katie's voice. "I'm so sorry. What's wrong with her?"

"She has cancer. The chemo knocked out her immune system and she developed pneumonia. Unfortunately, the doctor doesn't think she has much time left."

"Oh no, that's terrible. I really liked her."

Jackson snarled, knowing exactly how the woman felt about her aunt Jackie. G.o.d, you haven't changed a bit.

"I know Joe, G.o.d rest his soul, really enjoyed her company when we vacationed up there."

"Oh." Jackson's voice dropped in sympathy. She'd always thought the world of Erin's dad. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize Mr. Hawkins had pa.s.sed away." She felt a true sadness at his loss. Erin probably could've used an ear or a shoulder to cry on. She knew their relations.h.i.+p had been very important to Erin. Poor Hawk, I wish she had called me.

"Yes, back in ninety-seven. He had cancer, too. We didn't know how bad cigarettes were for us when we were younger. They made them sound so good for you. Even though he'd quit a long time before, the damage was still inside him," she explained. "The Lord will take good care of him, though. Don't you worry."

"Well, again, I'm very sorry." She tried not to sound like she wanted off the call as much as she did. "Would you have Erin's phone number or address that I could contact her...for Jackie?" she added for good measure.

"Of course. She and her husband, Jeremy, are still in the city. They're so happy and doing so well that they're trying for a grandbaby for me. Let me get my book. I always get her number confused."

Her husband?...A grandbaby? Could this get any worse? I'm gonna throw up. Knowing she had missed something Katie had said, Jackson asked, "I'm sorry?"

"I said, do you have a pen ready?"

"Yes, go ahead." She clicked her pen and wrote the information in her address book.

After some uncomfortable small talk, Jackson thanked Katie for her help and wished her well. Hanging up the phone, Jackson's head hit her pillow. She closed her eyes, quickly trying to quash the nausea threatening to overwhelm her.

"She's married and making babies?" she whispered to herself. As much as it didn't surprise her, considering what had happened, it still didn't sit well.

"Aw, c.r.a.p, if I don't do this now, I'm never gonna do it." She blew out a huge breath, wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, and picked up the phone. Heart racing, she dialed the Illinois number and waited to hear that sweet voice again.

Chapter Four.

1990 The NorthwoodsIslandCity Erin jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped. The car ride had been unbearable. Six long hours with her mother was enough to give her a headache, especially with her ragging. Katie wanted Erin to spend more time drawing than doing most of the things she usually did with Jackson. She didn't think that Erin playing in boathouses at almost fifteen was very ladylike. Erin frequently didn't agree with her mom's ideas, but this was one thing she wouldn't compromise on. If Jackson wanted her to play in a puddle of slime, she was gonna do it. We're best friends!

A tall, lean girl with a big smile lighting her face met the Hawkins' car. Eyes shaded by sungla.s.ses, Jackson waved at Erin's parents as they exited the car. Running toward Jackson, Erin collided with her taller, equally excited best friend. The embrace they shared was warm and regenerating for both girls.

"Hey!" they both said in unison, pulling back to look at one another.

"Look at you! You've gotten so tall!" Erin said, admiring the five-foot, eight-inch frame of her friend. Pinching her side, she added, "You need to eat a Snickers bar or something, though. You're so thin!"

"Yow!" Jackson shrieked at the pinch. "It's not my fault you got hit with the short branch. Besides, I don't see you being too fat either." Jackson looked her up and down, Erin was blossoming into a beautiful young woman and she very much liked what she saw.

Erin blushed hotly at the open appraisal. "I started training for the high school track team, so I've been running this summer. If you'd bothered to read my letters-"

"Hey! I read every one of them." She paused and looked guilty. "I'm just not a good pen pal these days. I'm sorry, Hawk."

Erin locked their hands together, just as she had during their first meeting. She hated knowing her mother would lecture her again about keeping her friends.h.i.+p with Jackson in perspective and acting like a girl supposedly should. Katie had wanted to send Erin to cheerleading camp instead of bringing her to the Island City this summer, only to be told by Erin that it was not an option for them go anywhere else. With every letter that arrived from Jackson, Katie would plead with her daughter to spend more time with her cla.s.smates and pay less attention to her tomboyish friend.

Not caring about anything now that they were together, Erin a.s.suaged Jackson's guilt. "I know you're busy helping Jackie; it's all right."

Erin put a hand on her forearm and Jackson nodded, relief flooding her. Unwilling to tell her the truth about the lack of letters, Jackson just grinned.

Joe and Katie Hawkins walked up to the girls. Katie scowled as Erin intertwined their fingers. Putting on a polite face, she gave Jackson a brief embrace, as did Joe.

"It's good to see you again, Jackson," he said. "You're almost all grown up."

"Good to see you too, sir. Yeah, I'm working on it. I'm so happy you all like it here enough to keep coming back."

"Like Erin would let us vacation anywhere else now," Katie said, only half joking.

"No way!" Erin chimed in. "That's not an option."

Jackson looked from Erin to her mother, feeling extreme tension.

"Well, it's a good thing your aunt charges us cheap rates or we'd have to go someplace else," Joe kidded.

"Dad! You know you said the fis.h.i.+ng here is better than anywhere else." She looked at Jackson's smiling face. "He just likes to push my b.u.t.tons."

"It appears he's gotten good at it." She smiled at Joe, who laughed. Erin lightly backhanded Jackson in the belly, giving her a fake scowl. "Okay, okay I take it back!"

The girls shared a smile and felt the warmth radiate between them. It felt good to be back together.

Erin's mother watched the exchange with a growing unease, but was pulled away by Joe asking for a.s.sistance with unloading the car.

After the car was emptied and pleasantries were exchanged, Jackson told them they'd be in their regular cottage, cabin six. "I'll let Jackie know you're here. Go on ahead to the cottage, the door's open." As they started down the path, Jackson's voice stopped them. "And let me know what you think. We renovated the kitchen this year." A beautiful smile illuminated her face.

"Oh, how exciting. I can't wait to see what you've done to it." Katie's feigned enthusiasm was evident only to Joe but as soon as she looked away, her skeptical demeanor returned.

"See you girls, later." Joe waved. "Oh, and Erin, same rules apply, like home."

"I know, I know, home before dinner," she groused.

"You got it." He waved again then led Katie through the grounds to their cottage.

Alone at last, Jackson asked, "Wanna come and say hi to Jackie? I know she'd love to see you."

Erin nodded quickly. "Absolutely! I'm sure she's sick to death of you. I bet she could use another face to look at." Erin laughed and turned to go.