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"We'll just have to see. If it sucks, I'm outta here." She winked at Jackson.
They shared a quiet meal and evening together, reveling in their closeness. When the hour grew late and it was time for Jackson to return home, she knew she didn't want to sleep alone in her house.
"Um, do you think it would be okay...I mean, would you..." She sighed at her tied tongue. "I'd rather you be with me on my first night there without Jackie, if that's okay."
"It's absolutely okay. I don't think I could sleep without you now."
"Good. Me either; let's go."
Chapter Fifteen.
Jackson was troubled. She and Erin had spent fourteen wonderful days at the Northwoods, exploring their renewed love, and now the time had come for Erin to return to Chicago. A full state away. Jackson didn't know how she could stand to be separated, nor had she been able to come up with a workable resolution.
Could I live anywhere else to be with her? Jackson looked around. This is my home. Do I have a right to ask her to leave her whole life to be with me? Would she want to? I just don't know what to expect. I only know for sure that I can't lose her again. I can't. The uncertainty gnawed at Jackson as she escorted Erin to her car.
The short walk was a very quiet one. Erin sensed the tension in Jackson and knew it was probably due to all of things that were worrying her, as well. What did their futures hold? Erin had been direct with Jackson for most of her life, when she wasn't running away, but she was not running away now. There were too many questions that they hadn't addressed. And she was going to get to the bottom of them before she drove four hundred miles away.
Turning to Jackson, Erin said, "I can see the cogs spinning in that head of yours. Tell me what's going on up there and please don't leave anything out, regardless of how you think I might react."
Jackson smiled at the straightforwardness. She was still feeling raw and vulnerable, but didn't want to sound needy. "I...um...really don't want you to leave. I just got you back, Hawk. I don't want to lose you again."
Jackson looked like she might cry and Erin didn't want that. Enough tears had been shed. "Oh, honey, you will never lose me again. I promise you. You're it for me, Jack. I was going to wait for you to do this in your own time, but I think I'm just gonna have to insist that you ask me to move here."
Jackson's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas morning opening the most wonderful gift ever. "You mean it? You'd move up here to be with me?"
Erin was saddened by Jackson's lack of belief in the strength of their connection, but considering their history, she could hardly blame her. "Yes! There is no place in the world that I'd rather be. You are my heart, my soul and my reason to wake up every morning. If you want me here as much as I want to be here, I'll start making arrangements immediately."
Jackson picked Erin up and spun her around, as happy as she had rarely been. "You have made me the happiest woman on the planet, Hawk! I love you so much I can't even breathe."
Erin eyed her pointedly. "Jack, you still haven't asked."
Blus.h.i.+ng, Jackson took Erin's hands and kissed them gently. I better make this good. "Erin, Hawk, the light of my life, the fire in my loins, will you come to The Northwoods and live with me happily ever after until we breathe our last breaths together? Pretty please?"
Erin smiled and shook her head at Jackson's description. "I'm all that, huh?"
"All that and a treble clef."
"How can I turn down such a scrumptious offer?" Erin asked playfully.
Jackson smirked. "I don't think you could."
"No, I don't think I could either." Erin wrapped her arms around Jackson and squeezed.
"I guess it's settled then," she breathed into Erin's hair.
"Yes, it is." Erin gave her a light kiss as they pulled apart. "I need a little time to get my affairs in order and put my house on the market. After I'm officially divorced, mind you, I still don't want Jeremy to have it."
Jackson looked at her seriously. "What about your work, Hawk? Your work is there."
"Jack, look around us." Jackson eyes s.h.i.+fted around to take in the panorama. "Where do you think I get my inspiration to paint what I do? This is my source. My work will probably get even better with my muse back in my life."
"Your muse?"
"Yes, silly. You. You've always been my biggest fan, since I was nine years old. Having you around me again is going to be magical," Erin explained with a warm smile. "I can't wait," she whispered, adding a saucy wink.
Jackson was ecstatic. "Do you need any help?" A sudden thought blew into her mind. "What about your mother? She is going to blow a gasket."
Erin laughed. "Let her blow, then. I will not let her take away the greatest joy in my life. She did it once and I thought it would kill me. Never again, Jack. I will be back, I promise."
Jackson looked a little nervous, the pain of the rejected twenty-one year old showing plainly on her face. Erin took Jackson's face in her hands. "I promise you."
Seeing the uncertainty replaced by a smile, Erin kissed her again. "You could come with me, you know. You said Daniel would help you for a couple more weeks. That would give us time to get some stuff together. Actually, I can wait to sell my house until your house is ready. That way I wouldn't have to put so much stuff in storage." Erin saw the excitement in Jackson's eyes and knew she'd been right to ask her. "Whaddya say? Come back with me this time."
"I'll have a bag ready in ten minutes!" Jackson sped off to the house, leaving Erin laughing beside her car.
Jackson threw her bag into the open trunk and quickly settled into the pa.s.senger seat, to Erin's amus.e.m.e.nt. Their trip to Chicago was managed without any setbacks. Roughly six hours later, after a few stops to grab drinks and to find a rest area, the duo arrived at Erin's home.
Jackson stopped under the stone archway over the path to Erin's front door. "Hawk, this is just beautiful," she comented.
"Thanks. It is a pretty great place. It should show well." She jiggled her key and with a twist of her wrist, opened the door. Inside, Erin closed the doors and rubbed her chilled arms. "It's a little cold in here. Let me check the thermostat real quick."
Erin led them into her living room where she reset the thermostat to bring the house back up to seventy degrees. "That's better. I'll be glad when summer arrives for good. These warm then cold days really suck."
Jackson laughed. "Yes, they do. That's the beauty of the Midwest, though. If you watch carefully, you can see all four seasons in a day."
"No kidding." Erin gestured around her. "Want me to show you around?"
"Sure. Lead on."
Erin gave her the five-cent tour, which was very impressive. It was obvious that Erin was doing very well for herself. When they crossed the threshold into Erin's studio, Jackson's sharp intake of breath made Erin smile. On every wall was a representation of The Northwoods. A few easels held canvases and a large drawing table was positioned under the one large window facing the backyard.
"Hawk, this place is amazing." She moved up close to a particular picture and pointed to it with a huge smile. "I remember when you drew this one! G.o.d, I think it was right after you told your mom that Jackie was not a viper trying to charm you, or something like that."
Erin laughed at the fractured recollection. "You're right. I went right up to the roof and drew all afternoon. You were concerned because I was so angry with her. G.o.d, that woman has a mouth on her."
"Don't look at me for an argument on that."
"Don't worry, you're the last person I'd seek out if I needed someone to defend my mother. Well, last except for me. I'd never defend her. As far as I'm concerned, she gets what she gets."
"Right on."
Erin's cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out to see her mother's phone number. "G.o.d, that woman has a sixth sense."
"Uh-oh, I smell trouble," Jackson joked. Erin waggled a finger at her.
"I'm gonna take this really fast to get rid of her. Two seconds." She hit the Talk b.u.t.ton. "h.e.l.lo, Mother."
"Erin, dear, it's good to see your car in your driveway. May I come in?" Erin paled and Jackson raised an eyebrow in question.
"You're out front?"
Both women's eyes went round then Jackson smirked and nodded her head, encouraging the visit from Katie. "Sure, Mother, I'll be right down."
Katie uttered a quick, "Thank you" and hung up the phone.
Erin turned to Jackson. "Are you feeling like causing trouble or something? Why would you want her to come in?"
"Aw, come on, I haven't seen Katie in a long time. I'm sure she'd like to give me a big ol' hug."
"I'm sure she'd like to give you something all right, but a hug isn't what comes to mind."
The doorbell chimed and they descended the stairs to greet Katie together. Erin grabbed the k.n.o.b and looked to Jackson. "Here goes..."
Erin opened the door and her mother walked in. "Mother. How nice of you to stop by."
Katie pulled her purse strap over her shoulder. "I'm glad you're home," she started, not seeing Jackson behind the door. "I think two weeks was more than enough time for you to give to that girl. Frankly, I think you spent way too much time up there."
Katie kept talking and Erin just let her continue to hang herself in front of Jackson, whose arms were now crossed over her chest. "I'm sure she has a...I don't even know what to call one of those people...to take care of her needs."
"A girlfriend? A lover? A lezzzbian?" Jackson's low voice made Katie spin around, her face blazing red.
"J...Jackson!"
"h.e.l.lo, Katie. So nice to hear you again."
Katie turned to her daughter, her eyes shooting daggers. "Why didn't you tell me she was coming back with you?"
Erin put her hands on her hips. "Frankly, because it's none of your business."
"Erin! Do not speak to me like that!"
"I'm sorry, Mother; you're right, I should show you the same amount of respect you've always shown me." She stalked into the living room, her mother and Jackson following in her wake. Jackson wiggled her eyebrows as Katie pa.s.sed, causing the fl.u.s.tered woman to pick up her pace.
Erin pulled out her phonebook from an end table, sat on the couch and grabbed a sheet of paper. Might as well get this out of the way now. "Mother, what's the name of that moving company you used to s.h.i.+p your furniture to St. Gregory's bazaar?"
"It was Wilkens', but why do you need a moving company?" she asked, a sinking feeling was.h.i.+ng through her.
"Because I'm going to need to move some things into storage while our house is being renovated," she explained cryptically, enjoying the play of emotions on her mother's features.
"Oh, lovely, Erin. What are you and Jeremy doing to your house?"
"Not Jeremy, Mother. And this is certainly not his house anymore."
Our house. "Who's the other half of the 'our'?"
"Jack, of course. Mother, I'm moving up to The Northwoods." Even though her heart was pounding in her chest, Erin continued to nonchalantly look in her book.
"You're what!" Katie cried. "Why on earth would you do something so ridiculous?"
Erin turned to face her. "It's quite simple, Mother. Because I love her."
Katie could hardly form her next words she was so flabbergasted. "Wh...what do you mean by that?"
"I. Love. Her. Does that honestly surprise you? Did you think I could ever forget about her, even after all this time?" When Katie just sat and stared at her, she continued. "I know you did your d.a.m.nedest to keep us apart, Mother, but I'm not a child anymore and I'm finally going to live my life the way I choose. I choose to be with Jack."
Katie's eyes went wide. "You can't possibly be telling me you're going to live with her as a...a lesbian?"
"No, you're right, Mother, I'm not a lesbian." She looked to Jackson. "I'm a Jacksian." Jackson couldn't contain her burst of laughter. She quickly covered her mouth when Katie shot her a dirty look. "Mother, I may not consider myself a lesbian, but I am in love with Jack. I've always been in love with her. So all of your tirades were correct, after all-I did fall into her trap, just like you said. If I wasn't so angry with you for making my adolescence a living h.e.l.l, I'd probably thank you for making me so aware of my feelings for her."
"Don't you dare blame me for this! All I ever did was try to protect you."
"From what, Mother? From love? Love is not wrong! It's a gift you should be thankful for if you are lucky enough to receive it. You tried to make me someone I wasn't and in the process made me resent you for many years, but you know what, Mother? I'm done feeling badly about you. You've chosen to live your life this way and that life is all yours. I want no part of it if you can't accept me for the person I am and always have been."
Jackson wanted to take her in her arms and kiss her, but stayed put.
"Jack and Dad were the loves in my life and my biggest supporters. I lost Dad to cancer, and I almost lost Jack because of you. I'd die before going through that again."
"You ungrateful girl!" her mother said. "I gave you everything a little girl could want and this is the appreciation I get?"
"You're right, Mother. Some little girl may have wanted all that you offered, but I didn't and you knew I didn't. Yet, you kept at it as if you could make me give in or change my mind. I might not have been strong enough before, Mother, but I'm not giving in this time." Erin looked directly into Jackson's eyes. "Jack is my heart and soul, and I'm going to live out the rest of my days with her." She turned back to her mother. "With or without you in my life."
Katie pulled her car keys out of her purse. "I fear for your soul, Erin. You'll be lucky if you see your father in the Afterlife." She stomped toward the front door, turned in front of Jackson then looked at Erin. "You make it so hard for me to love you."
Erin smiled at her mother. "You know, Katie, I was thinking the exact same thing."
Her mother shot her a final glare then left the house, slamming the door behind her.
Jackson looked at Erin with boundless love pouring from her eyes. "I cannot believe you just did that!"
"Yeah, well, she's had it coming for years. I figured now was just about as good a time as any to give her my new address." Erin went to Jackson and put her arms around her. "Thank you for being here. Just your presence gave me that little extra that I needed."
"I'll always be here for you. Always."
Several months later...
Erin hauled the last of her boxes into the s.p.a.cious studio and sighed as the last of them was placed on the floor. She had spent the last few months at the Northwoods marveling at the change from spring to summer. Autumn would soon prove to be more beautiful than even her imagination could conjure. With more seasons added to her colorful IslandCity repertoire, she could barely wait to get the new pieces to Kim. Her studio would provide the perfect works.p.a.ce for her creations. The newly renovated house was beginning to feel like home, though this would be their first official night spent inside.
Grace was creeping around investigating every part of her new home. The orange tabby was happy to be reunited with her owner after spending two weeks with Kim while they moved. Jackson and Grace were still battling to see who wrapped around Erin's body when it came time for bed. Unfortunately for Grace, Jackson consistently won that battle and wouldn't be giving up her t.i.tle anytime soon.
Jackson walked into the studio and smiled at the look on Erin's face. She could tell she was enormously pleased. "They did well, right?"
"Jack, this is absolutely perfect! My view is unbelievable. G.o.d, I never thought I'd be able to just look out and see the beauty of this place whenever I wanted. I'm so grateful that you're sharing that part of yourself with me."