Tomahawk'd Part 21

"So did I." Jackson's voice was rough from crying.

"I've never felt that way since," she admitted softly.

"Me either."

"Jack..."

Before Erin could continue, a voice was heard in the distance calling for Jackson. Both women stood quickly and sped down the ladders to the ground. Cindy's voice was shouting from the house and Jackson began to run, knowing the desperation in Cindy's voice could only mean one thing: Jackie.

"What is it? How's Jackie?" she panted as she reached Cindy outside of the main cabin.

"She's not good, Jack. She wants to see you and Erin. Dr. Jones is on her way."

Jackson shared a worried look with Erin and they both hurried inside. In the darkened room, the small figure on the bed looked frailer than she had even just a couple of hours before. Her eyes were closed and Jackson's heart lurched.

"Jackie?" Jackson rasped, grasping her aunt's chilled hand.

Jackie's eyes opened slowly and she gave Jackson's hand the smallest of squeezes. She saw that Erin was also in the room, standing beside Jackson.

Erin gently patted Jackie's leg. "Hey, you."

Jackie's voice was almost inaudible, her breathing labored. "I love you both," she wheezed. "Thank you for giving me ... the best life possible... I was very blessed."

Tears falling at Jackie's farewell, Jackson choked out, "You are the best mother I could've hoped for. Thank you for giving me the best life possible. I will always love you."

Jackie looked at Erin. "Take care of my little girl for me, will you? She likes to get into trouble. ... You gotta watch her close."

Erin's tears trickled down her cheeks. "I will, Jackie. I promise I'll take good care of her."

"Thank you." She gave Jackson's hand a final squeeze and drew a last deep, shuddering breath. The alarm on her heart monitor sounded and Cindy rushed into the room. Checking for pulse or respiration and confirming that Jackie had pa.s.sed, she turned off the machine.

Jackson and Erin wept, leaning heavily on each other. After several minutes, Jackson bent down to place a final kiss on Jackie's forehead. Erin rubbed her back comfortingly. With a final whispered "I love you," Jackson left the room.

Erin took one last look at Jackie's lifeless form and blew her a kiss from the doorway. G.o.dspeed, Jackie.

When Jackson opened the door to greet her, Doctor Glenda Jones took one look and knew her patient had died. She gave Jackson a sympathetic hug. "I'm so sorry, Jack. She was such a wonderful woman."

"Thank you, Glenda. I know you did all you could for her and for that I will be forever grateful. Cindy is in with her now."

Noticing Erin, Glenda extended her hand. "I'm Dr. Glenda, or 'the good witch from the Northwoods' as Jackie called me."

Erin managed a watery smile. "I'm Erin, an old friend of the family. Thank you for giving Jackie such great care."

"You're Erin?" She looked at Jackson then back to Erin. "I've heard your name come up several times. It's nice to meet you. You are a very well-liked woman in this house."

Erin grabbed Jackson's hand. "Thank you for saying so."

Jackson put her arm around Erin and pulled her against her chest. Glenda took that as her cue to check with Cindy about the specifics of her patient's leave-taking.

Jackson buried her head in Erin's hair and wept. Erin held her close and whispered words of comfort. When Jackson at length pulled back, she caressed Erin's face. "Thank you for being here. It meant so much to her...and to me."

"Thank you for calling me." They shared one final hug before Jackson pulled away to make the necessary phone calls and arrangements.

Three days later, a small group was gathered at LakesideCemetery. Jackie's plot was next to her parents and shared by her twin sister, Emma, Jackson's birth mother. After sharing their mother's womb, it was only fitting for them to share this place as well. A commemorative stone was placed in the ground to give those who wanted, a place to visit her.

The service was quite moving. The children from Jackson's advanced music cla.s.s came to play Amazing Grace, touching Jackson to the core. Erin wasn't surprised to see how much Jackson's students cared for her. She knew the compa.s.sionate and loving woman made an impression in some way on everyone she met.

Anyone who was familiar with the family or resort came out to say their goodbyes to the woman who had been so well loved by the community. The Thomases had been a part of the area for many years and most of the community knew them well. Erin had had no luck with trying to find Sandra to tell her about Jackie's pa.s.sing. Jackson was actually relieved. Seeing Sandra again might have been too much for her to handle.

It was a beautiful spring day-blue sky and temperatures around seventy degrees. Everyone had a story to tell Jackson as they hugged her or shook her hand and offered condolences. Jackson had invited their close friends to her home after the funeral. A catering company was taking care of all the food and drink. Erin had made all of those arrangements so Jackson wouldn't have to worry about a thing, except mourning the loss of the woman who'd raised her. After laying a final rose on Jackie's stone, Erin and Jackson left the other mourners.

She was given Jackie's ashes, per her request. Jackson knew her aunt's remains belonged in LakeTomahawk; it was such a part of her. It only seemed fitting that it serve as her final resting place. Jackson wanted the same when her time came.

When they got back to the house, it was bustling with many faces Jackson had seen most of her life. Cindy, Janet, and Dr. Jones were all in attendance and were the first to greet Jackson.

"Jack, that was a beautiful ceremony. She would've been very pleased," Glenda said warmly.

"Thank you. I'm glad it was you who took care of her. You guys have known each other since high school and I know how comfortable she was with you. Again, thank you." Jackson couldn't help the tears that seemed never ending.

Glenda leaned over to hug Jackson tightly. "It's hard to lose patients, but harder when they are friends, too." She pulled away and gave Jackson a warm look. "If you need anything, you give me a call, okay?" Glenda kissed her cheek.

"I will."

Similar thanks and respect were voiced by others. Erin was touched by how close Jackie's team had become with Jackson. She felt silly for thinking that anything was going on between Jackson and Cindy. The thought now was so foreign to her. It was her warmth and compa.s.sion that made Cindy a great nurse. There was no question that Jackie had gotten the best possible care.

When the last of the guests left the house, Jackson went outside to get some fresh air. When she looked up, she noticed the flag had been lowered to half-staff.

Coming up beside her, Erin saw what had caught her attention. "They say it's a sign of respect to a wonderful person when the flag is lowered. Jackie was the best, so I thought it was necessary."

Jackson looked at her with wonder. "You really did take care of everything for me. I can't thank you enough for helping me through this, Hawk. I'll never forget it."

Erin entwined their fingers. "I did a lot to help my mom when my dad died, so I figured I'd go with what I knew. I'm glad you're pleased with the way things went."

Jackson nodded. "I am. Jackie would've loved it."

Erin tugged on her hand. "You wanna take a walk, get some fresh air in our lungs?"

"That would be great."

The two walked around the property in silence, hands clasped between them. Jackson was turning a thought around in her head and decided that it was as good a time as any to broach it with Erin. "Hawk?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you come with me when I sprinkle her ashes? It would mean so much to me if you would."

"Oh, Jack, of course I will. You didn't even need to ask." She squeezed her hand. "Just tell me when, and I'll be happy to go."

"When," she said softly, to Erin's amus.e.m.e.nt.

"Okay, honey, let's go." Erin slipped off her shoes and dangled them from her fingers as they walked toward the boat.

Jackson smiled as she, too, took off her heels before boarding. She wiggled her toes. "Oh, that feels good."

Erin boarded the boat and saw that the ashes had already been placed inside. She smiled at the typical Jacksonism: she was never one to put things off when they were painful.

Jackson untied the rope from the cleats and pushed the boat away from the dock. They drifted out slowly to get deeper before starting the engine. Jackson steered the boat to a small cove where she had fished as a child with Jackie and her grandfather. As they approached the lily pads, Jackson killed the engine and dropped the anchor.

The cove was quiet and serene. Every time she'd been there, Erin had been struck by its beauty. It's the perfect place to sprinkle Jackie's ashes.

Jackson lifted the bra.s.s urn and opened the lid. She motioned for Erin to stand next to her. "This is where my mother's ashes are, as well. I thought it only right to sprinkle Jackie's with hers."

"It's a beautiful gesture, Jack."

With extreme reverence, they each took a handful of Jackie's remains and held them over the side of the boat.

"This place has always been a part of you, Jackie. I hope you spend a wonderful eternity here, where you belong. I love you," Jackson said through her tears as she sprinkled the ash into the water.

"Jackie, thank you for allowing me to come back into your lives when it truly mattered the most. I promise you that I will take care of Jack for as long as she'll let me." She sprinkled her ashes and added, "And even when she won't. I love you. Rest in peace."

Jackson tipped the urn and gently poured the remaining ashes into LakeTomahawk. They held the side of boat as they stared into the water until the last of the powder disappeared. Erin rubbed Jackson's back as her tears fell into the water. After a few more moments, Jackson lifted the anchor and turned the boat toward home.

The ride was peaceful as each was lost in her own thoughts. The day had been very emotional and taxing for Jackson and she knew she wouldn't have made it through if it weren't for the woman sitting in the boat with her.

Erin closed her eyes, allowing the breeze to soothe some of her pain. Nothing healed her soul like the Northwoods and she would be sad when the time came for her to return to Chicago.

Jackson docked the craft in the boathouse, disembarked, and hung up the keys. Erin took her hand as they walked barefoot to the pier. The sun had begun to set, creating an amazing palette of colors. The women stayed silent, just watching, until the sun slid below the horizon.

"Do you want to come in for a drink or something?" Jackson offered. "I'd really just like to decompress for a while. This day was... Whew." She blew out a deep breath. "It's taken so much out of me."

Erin squeezed her hand. "I know, honey. Yes, I would absolutely love to come in for a drink and decompress with you." She smiled. "Come on. I think I hear the Drachenstein calling my name."

"That is a really good Riesling. It's not too dry and not too sweet. It's like...the perfect wine. Where did you get it?"

"A small wine shop in Chicago. I buy it by the case since Howard, the owner, orders it special for me."

"By the case? Have you turned into an alcoholic since we last saw each other?" Jackson asked, only half joking.

Erin snorted. "With my mother you'd think that would be the obvious answer, but no, I just like to have some on hand for dinner parties and such. This is actually the most I've had to drink in months."

Jackson laughed for the first time that day. "Well, good. I'd hate to have to carry you home." G.o.d, it's good to have her here again.

Chapter Fourteen.

The two women sat on the couch, feet tucked under them and gla.s.ses of wine in hand. Jackson's head was leaning against the back of the couch while Erin tried to decipher what was being talked about on Larry King. Initially they weren't even paying attention, but one of his guests was an art critic and was going off on a new artist's work.

"Can you believe this jacka.s.s?" Erin asked, outraged by the man's lack of actual art knowledge. "He wouldn't know the difference between fingerpainting and Paul Gauguin."

Jackson laughed at Erin's ire at the so-called art critic. "So, if he turned around and said he liked one of your paintings, would he still be a jacka.s.s?" she asked playfully.

"Well, yes, he'd just be a jacka.s.s with taste and simply have chosen the wrong topic to discuss on Larry's show." She winked at Jackson and took a sip of wine.

When a commercial came on, Jackson tried to stifle a yawn. The day had taken a heavy toll on her. Erin noticed the yawn right away. "Are you ready to go to sleep? You've got to be exhausted."

Nodding, Jackson said, "My body is tired, my heart aches, but my mind just won't shut off." She put down her winegla.s.s, laid on her side, and rested her head in Erin's lap.

Wanting to take Jackson's mind off of her pain, she said, "Jack? Tell me more about your music." Erin began to stroke the long dark hair and Jackson grasped Erin's knee, lightly stroking it with her thumb. The connection between them had completely returned.

"My music?"

"Yeah. We've spoken at length about my career, and all I know about yours is that you teach music here. I mean, did you entertain the idea of being a professionial musician?"

Jackson patted her knee. "Oh, sure. I was approached to tour the country with symphonies and whatnot, but..."

"But what?"

"This is my home. I couldn't imagine being away for such long stretches of time. I know how hard professionals work. They practice all the time and rarely have time for anything else. I knew I didn't want that kind of life. My greatest satisfaction came when I was teaching during those summers in Michigan. I would watch a student go from a stumbling starter to a solid performer in only a few years because of my help."

"I bet that felt fantastic." Erin continued to stroke her hair.

"It did. I really felt at my best when I was helping them grow as musicians. They learned to appreciate not only music, but how and why they heard the notes they played. I get that same feeling being here at home. I get the best of both worlds teaching here." She took a deep comforting breath and closed her eyes. "And now with you here, I couldn't ask for anything more." She absently squeezed Erin's knee.

Jackson hadn't asked, but Erin figured she'd stay until Jackson no longer needed her. Her mother no longer got to tell her what to do, so there was actually nothing preventing her from staying just long as she wanted. When the time came, leaving Jackson again wouldn't be at all easy.

Forty-five minutes pa.s.sed and Erin noticed that Jackson was sound asleep. She was reluctant to move as she didn't want her to wake, but her bladder was reminding her of all of the wine she had inbibed. She was able to slip out from under Jackson's head, but had to fight her clutching fingers. Even in deep sleep, it seemed as if Jackson needed to keep a hold on her.

Erin leaned down and whispered soothingly, "I'll be right back, don't worry." She kissed the side of her head and went to relieve herself. When she returned, Jackson was sitting up on the couch and had turned off the television. The clock showed that it was well past midnight. She knew Jackson would be going to bed soon. She bit her lip in hesitation then asked, "Do you need me to stay with you tonight?"

Jackson looked up at her. Yes! her body screamed, but she answered, "No, I should be okay. I think I'm just gonna take some time to reflect a little then go to bed."

"Are you sure?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for offering, though." She walked Erin to the door and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Thank you for everything, Hawk. You made these last few days almost bearable."

Erin returned the hug warmly. "You are most welcome, Jack. You know I would do anything for you and Jackie. I'm glad she's out of pain now and resting with her parents and your mom."

Jackson leaned down and kissed her cheek. Erin's eyes closed at the familiar contact. When she pulled away, Erin told her, "If you need me, you know where I am, okay?"

"Thank you, Hawk. It really meant the world to us that you came." They shared a smile. "Goodnight."

"G'night, Jack."

Back in her cabin, Erin stripped off her clothes, used the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth, and slipped into bed, sighing at the feel of the clean linen against her skin. She noticed her cell phone light blinking on the bedside table. She had messages. She grabbed her phone and pushed the voice mail b.u.t.ton, then listened to the first of four messages.