Tomahawk'd Part 13

Please write me back as soon as you can. Or call me if you want, if your mom will let you. I wanna hear from you soon, okay?

Friends 4 Ever I mean it!

Love, Jack 1991 IslandCity Letter to Jackson from Erin April 5, 1991 Dear Jack, Wow, that was some letter. As you can see it took me a little while to digest everything. Even though I'm incredibly sad I won't see you, I'm that much more excited that you're going to be working on your music this summer. Just like you support my artwork, I always want you to work at your music. You've been given a great opportunity and you have to take it. I'll always be here, but something like this won't be. I'm really glad you decided to go.

I told my parents that you wouldn't be up there this summer, but my dad still wants to come up. I'll have to see if I want to go with you not being there. I think it'll be too weird. But maybe I'll go just to see Jackie and she can tell me all the dirt you've been holding out on me. J We'll see. I have a few months to decide.

I can't believe I have about a month and a half left of my first year of high school. It hasn't been too bad, actually. I've made some friends, but we are the "art nerds" and people always look at us funny. We just look at them and cross our eyes or something and they totally look away. Tom and I have gotten really good at making faces at the girls in the "Barbie" crowd. They are just so lame. Tom is really a cool guy. He's so gifted, Jack. Sometimes his creations make me just go...WOW, look at what you've done! He has a couple of tattoos, one he even gave to himself. They're really cool and colorful. He's gonna show me how to use the needle with inks. Who knows, it might be a skill I can fall back on. Maybe I'll tattoo a donkey on my mom's face while she's asleep so everyone can see what a pain in the a.s.s she is. J Seriously, though, I think I might like Tom. Do you think I should ask him out on a date? Girls do that, right? I'm not really good at the dating thing, so help me out, Romeo. J Don't worry about me, Jack. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that something good will come of this camp. Who knows, maybe you're meant to run it one day. J I've enclosed a self-pic I had to draw for cla.s.s so you can see what I look like now. My hair is totally red now and way past my shoulders. I think I like it, though. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm so proud of you, Jack. Knock 'em dead in Michigan. You'd better write me while you're there.

Friends 4 Ever I know you mean it!

Love, Hawk 1992 IslandCity Letter to Jackson from Erin May 31, 1992 Dear Jack, I know you won't get this on the right day, but I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. A high school graduate on her way to IndianaUniversity. I read up on them, Jack, and they have one of the best music programs in the country. Good for you! I can't believe you got a scholars.h.i.+p too! I told you your music would take you far. I have missed you so much, but I know how busy you've been. School is ending in a couple weeks here as well, so I understand. I appreciate the calls when you don't have time to write. It's always so great to hear your voice.

Tom and I are still dating, but something is just off between us. I think maybe we should just stay friends. I think my mother would have a heart attack if I broke up with him. I swear she wants me to marry him. I'm not even seventeen yet! She's been nagging me about him nonstop since the first night he picked me up to go to the movies. Only time will tell, right?

I didn't want this to be a super long letter, I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you how proud I am of you. You've accomplished so much in your eighteen years. I hope I can say the same thing when I'm done with high school. I'm sorry you couldn't get a ticket for me for your graduation. My mom probably wouldn't have let me go anyway. Just know I was with you in spirit. I love you, Jack and I'm so glad you're my best friend. You're just the best.

I'll miss you, but it's a huge honor to have been asked back to the Interlochen camp. You've obviously made an impression with them. But who can blame them, you've always made a huge impression on me. I'm going up to the Northwoods with my parents this year. It wasn't the same last year. When I sit on the boathouse roof and draw my sunsets over LakeTomahawk, I'll think of you.

Friends 4 Ever, Hawk 1994 Paldeer, IL Letter to Erin from Jackson June 4, 1994 Dear Hawk, I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to write this letter. HAPPY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION! You did it! I'm sure it seemed like the longest journey of your life, but you did it and did it well! You didn't have to call to apologize, Hawk. I know your mom wouldn't let me step foot in that auditorium. Just know that at 2:30 I was cheering for you from the Northwoods. I think the trees shook!

We have been best friends for almost ten years and, Hawk, they've been the best years I could imagine. You've given me so much to be thankful for. Your incredible gift has made me appreciate art in a way I never would've on my own. Your perspective on certain things has made me pause when I encounter situations I'm not familiar with. I usually ask myself how you'd handle a situation and I can actually hear your answer. It's usually the right one, too. You have such love of life even though your mother has made that nearly impossible for you. I can't tell you how angry I was with that whole Tom situation. That poor guy didn't even see it coming, did he? h.e.l.l, if I were him and my girlfriend's mother told me to give her a ring, I don't know if I would've had the guts to actually give it to her. It would've made me think that she was a nut job and wonder whether I really wanted her as a mother-in-law. I think you handled it the best, though, as usual. He'll find a girlfriend in school next year. I know you said you didn't feel that kind of love for him, so I think you're both better off.

I only have one more summer up in Interlochen. It really makes me kind of sad. I've grown to love everyone so much. Every year there are new kids with such dreams in their eyes. I love being able to teach to them and watch them develop their talents. You're going to see some amazing music coming from these kids in a few years. You mark my words. JThis place has really given me an amazing feeling of accomplishment I don't know that I would've had if I hadn't come here. I'm literally feeling high all the time. It's so incredible. Maybe you were right. Maybe teaching is the way to go for me. Time will tell, right?

We need to make sure that we see each other next summer. It's been far too long since we've gotten to hang out. I really miss you, Hawk. Everyone is sick of hearing me talk about you. I kept your self-pic up in my room at school and at camp. Everyone always asks who it was. When I told them the model was my best friend, they all said I was full of it. Everyone's full of something, though, right? J I am so incredibly proud of you, Hawk. You're going to knock them dead at the Art Inst.i.tute. I know it! I know you wanted to get away from your mom, but h.e.l.l, it's still in the city away from her and you don't have to stay at home. That's good, right? Your dad seemed pretty jazzed for you when I called. I'm so glad he's been such a positive person in your life. He really is the best dad around.

Okay, Hawk, I gotta get to my next session, but know that I love you and I'm always thinking about you.

You are my friend 4 life.

Love, Jack

Chapter Nine.

2002 Chicago Erin was bustling around, gathering her artwork for the show in the gallery the following week. Kim was meticulous about setting up for Erin's artwork. Erin knew that hers was the most successful work in the gallery and Kim would spare no expense to make opening night sparkle. Several canvases were taken from her studio and down to the main level of her house. Erin lined them up in her study to make her final decision.

Hearing the phone ring, she put the last of the pictures down and answered it. It's probably Kim freaking out again.

"h.e.l.lo?" she answered.

"h.e.l.lo, dear," Katie greeted in a sweet tone, much to Erin's disgust.

"h.e.l.lo, Mother. What can I do for you?"

"Is that any way to treat your mother? My gosh, I'm the only parent you have."

Erin's anger flared. "Yes, I know. I was there when Daddy died, remember?" She breathed deeply to try and calm herself. "I have an event at the gallery. I have a lot to do before then."

"You didn't mention it to me." Katie pretended to sound hurt.

There is a reason for that. "No, I didn't, Mother, because you rarely want to go to these things. Except, of course, when the mayor is expected. Then you're there with bells on."

"Oh, honey, it's not like that and you know it." Whatever. "So how's Jeremy? When am I going to hear some good news?"

"Mother, you know d.a.m.n well Jeremy and I are getting divorced. The only good news that will come from this will be for me, after the judge p.r.o.nounces me a single woman."

Katie's voice became condescending. "You know that goes against the teachings of the Church, Erin. I can't believe you aren't fighting for your marriage."

"Fight for a marriage with a man who has fathered a baby with another woman? Gee, Mother, you're right. I should stand and fight with both fists. I should go the full ten rounds!" Erin paced, rubbing her forehead to ward off the inevitable migraine that came with talking to her mother.

"Don't you talk to me like that, young lady."

Katie's haughty voice was making Erin nauseous and she knew she needed to get off the phone. "Was there a real reason you called, or did you just want to push some of my b.u.t.tons? I really have a lot to do, Mother, so if you don't mind, I need to go."

"I wish you'd reconsider about Jeremy. All's not lost. I'm sure he still loves you. I'm sure if you-"

"Mother, I don't love him, don't you get that? Never mind. This is like talking to a d.a.m.n brick wall." She exhaled sharply. "I'm getting off the phone now. Goodbye, Mother." Erin hung up the phone without waiting for her mother's goodbye.

"G.o.d! What is wrong with me? Why don't I move to Guam? She'd never call me there."

She began to arrange her work and once again the phone rang and broke her concentration. Angrily, Erin picked up the phone. "Mother, you need to stop calling me, I'm really busy right now."

"Well, it's good to see that some things never change. Your mom still giving you a hard time, Hawk?"

Hearing Jack's voice melted Erin's soul. Flopping down onto her couch, Erin sighed. "Jack? Is...is that really you?"

Tears formed in both women's eyes. "Yeah, it's me. How...um...G.o.d, I don't even know what to say."

They shared a nervous laugh. "I know. I'm...I'm just stunned to hear your voice. How did you get my number?" Erin gripped the phone tightly.

"Dearest Katie gave it to me."

A lightbulb went off in Erin's head. No wonder she was pus.h.i.+ng the Jeremy envelope so hard tonight. G.o.d, she's something else. "I'm just gonna apologize now for anything she might have said to you. Nothing's changed with her. She's always gotta say something negative about someone, sorry to say," Erin said with a sad smile. She wiped her eyes.

"How've you been, Hawk? Your mom told me about your dad. G.o.d, I'm so sorry. I know how much he meant to you. I really wish I could've been there for you."

So do I, Jack. You have no idea. "Thanks, Jack. That means so much. It was a really horrible time for all of us. He got sick and went so fast. Less than eighteen months and he was gone."

Tears rolled down Jack's cheeks. She knew all too well how that felt. She cleared her throat. "Well, I'm really sorry. He was a wonderful man. I feel very privileged to have known him."

"He loved you like crazy, Jack. You made him laugh all the time with your fis.h.i.+ng quote unquote tips." They shared more laughter. "Even he noticed a difference in the resort when you were in Michigan at camp."

"Yeah, it was hard knowing you all were there and I wasn't."

"I'm sure." Erin stopped the conversation before it went in a direction she wasn't ready to go. "So how are things with you? Are you happy and healthy? Did you get your teaching certificate?"

Jackson smiled, knowing Erin's thoughts always went from her well-being to her music. "I'm doing pretty well. Yes, I'm a music teacher for the gifted kids in the area. It's a really great program and I'm truly loving what I'm doing." She smiled. "Not many people can say that about their jobs."

"You're right about that. I think we both got lucky in that respect."

"Oh, Hawk, I haven't even asked you about your work. How is life as a well-known painter treating you? I've seen your work in some shops up here. I...um..." She blushed into the phone. "I even bought one."

"Shut up! You did not!" They laughed.

"Yes, I'm afraid I did. It was a sunset that I know was taken off of LakeTomahawk. Made me think it came from a memory of yours from on top of the boathouse roof."

"It probably did. Thank you for supporting my work, Jack. You've always been..."

"Your biggest fan/my biggest fan," they said together and laughed again.

"G.o.d knows Jackie was tired of coming to get us off that d.a.m.n roof when it was too dark to see anything."

"Yeah, she did." Jackson swallowed back the tide of emotion that was creeping up her throat.

"How is Jackie? Is she doing well?"

Silence came through the line. "Um...that's why I'm calling, Hawk. Jackie's sick. Really sick, actually," she amended.

"Oh, no!" Erin's voice dripped with sadness. "What's wrong?"

"Cancer, believe it or not. What are the odds, huh?"

Erin shook her head as more tears came. "I'm so sorry, honey." The endearment slipped out so naturally. "Is there anything I can do?"

A sad smile came to Jack's face. Aw, Hawk, you've always had such a big heart. "Actually, yes. Tonight Jackie asked me to find you because she'd really like to see you...um...before..." The final words weren't necessary. Both women knew the awful result of this illness.

"When should I come? I'll come tomorrow if I have to. I have a show coming up, but I don't need to be there." She immediately started making plans in her head. "h.e.l.l, I'll come tonight!"

"Whoa, whoa, Hawk, slow down. Tonight isn't necessary. I'm sure you have to do some things before you can leave town. The sooner the better, obviously, with this type of thing."

Erin's heart dropped. "How long does she have?"

"According to her team, she has about two weeks. Maybe." Voicing Jackie's prognosis aloud made her stomach clench.

Erin's head fell back on the couch cus.h.i.+on and she closed her eyes. "G.o.d, this is awful. Just awful..."

"I know."

"Okay, I think I can wrap things up here by tomorrow afternoon, so I could be there by late evening. Would that be okay? I'm sure I can find a hotel or something."

"Don't be ridiculous, you can stay here." Silence was Erin's response, so Jackson elaborated. "It's still off-season. We have some open cabins. You have a place to stay. We actually have a new condo we can set you up in, if you'd like to try it."

Erin's heart was racing. She couldn't imagine staying under the same roof with Jackson after everything that had happened between them and how much time had pa.s.sed. She was relieved when Jackson clarified what she'd meant. "A cabin would be great. I'll bring my sketchpads and supplies, like old times. Well, kinda."

Jackson understood what she meant. "I'll tell Jackie that you're coming. She is really going to be happy to see you, Hawk."

What about you, Jack? Will you be?

"Just be warned, I don't want you to expect too much when you see her, okay? She's hooked up to a lot of machines and wires. It'll probably bring back some bad memories for you, too. But I'll be right there if you need me." Like always.

Like always. "Thank you, Jack. I'm so glad you called. I'm sorry I didn't do the same when my dad died. I've felt bad about that for a while," she confessed.

"Hawk, don't, okay? I know how hard it was for you not to, believe me I do. I'm glad he had you looking after him during his last days."

Christ, I can't stop crying! "Thanks, Jack." They paused, not really wanting to hang up, having so much more to say, but knowing they ought to. "Well, I should get going. I have a lot to do before tomorrow."

"Thank you for coming, Hawk."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can't wait. Drive safely, okay?" Jackson cautioned.

"I will. Talk to you soon."

"Bye."

Erin hung up and held the phone reverently, not really believing she'd not dreamt that call. Poor Jackie. Jack was right. What are the odds of both of the people we loved most getting cancer? Life just isn't very fair.

Knowing Kim was going to be a little miffed at her departure before the art show, she needed to call and sort things out. Once she explained the situation, Erin knew she'd understand. Kim knew the entire drama revolving around Erin and Jackson. She wouldn't dream of standing in the way of Erin answering the request of someone so precious to Jackson.

With the phone hung up, Jackson leaned back on her bed and sighed a huge, relieved breath. Hawk is coming tomorrow. She closed her eyes and smiled. Realization washed over her and she shot out of bed. "Oh, my G.o.d! Hawk is coming tomorrow!" I'm gonna be sick.

Jackson hurried to tell Jackie about her successful phone call. Cindy was in with her, changing an IV bag.

Jackie saw Jackson enter and read the change in her niece's face. "She's coming, isn't she?"

Jackson's brow furrowed. "How did you know that's what I was going to tell you?"

"Jack, you've been living with me your whole life. How could I not see the difference in your eyes? I could tell as soon as you walked in here that you'd talked to her."

Cindy snickered. "She's got you pegged, doesn't she?"

"Enough out of you, Nurse Ratchet," Jackson teased.

"Hey! I resemble that remark."

The two women laughed. Jackson sat down next to Jackie and took her hand. "She'll be here tomorrow. She's really excited to see you."

"Does she know?" Jackie asked.