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He expected never to have to face her again. Slowly, a spark of determination grew within her. No, she would not submit so tamely.
Frederica gave Miss Milliken a hug and kissed her cheek before rising.
"Thank you, Milly. As always, you have given me excellent advice."
She would go to him, demand an explanation for his sudden volte-face.
If he made reference to another love, if he so much as hinted at caring for Miss Cherrystone, then she would reveal all.
If he did not. she would free him. She loved him too much to do otherwise.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
GAVIN WALKED WEARILY up the steps of Sea- brooke House. He had been unsuccessful in finding Old Joe, though he had spent more than two hours haunting the narrow streets of the business district. For the hundredth time, he wished he had thought before to ask the man where he had delivered the girl with the peac.o.c.k, rather than blithely a.s.suming that his search was at an end.
He still had Jeffries out combing the streets for Joe's battered blue hackney. If they did not locate it that day, he would go back to that cottage anyway, first thing in the morning, and question everyone there. Now that he was as good as free of his betrothal to Miss Chesterton, there was nothing to stop him from laying his heart at Cherry's feet--if he could only find her!
Daniels, his new butler, opened the door for him.
"My lord! There is a young lady here to see you. She came alone." His tone was severely disapproving; Daniels had far higher standards than his predece~or, as Gavin had already discovered.
"A young lady?" he echoed hopefully. Could it be. ?
"Did she give a name?"
"Miss Frederica Chesterton, my lord. I have put her in the front par lout If you wish, I shall inform her that you will be out for the rest of the day."
Gavin's spirits fell even lower for their brief elevation.
"No, I had better see her. Thank you, Daniels." It appeared that Miss Chesterton was not as complaisant about his solution as he had expected her to be.
Frederica looked up as he entered the parlour, and Gavin was struck once more by her beauty.
Quickly, guiltily, he suppressed a vague stirring of desire. Then, for the first time, Miss Chesterton looked him directly in the eye, and he was reminded even more painfully of Cherry.
Nor were the words she spoke in greeting calculated to help him forget his loss.
"Lord Sea brooke, my brother tells me you wish to dissolve our betrothal."
Her voice, though still low, was clear and oddly familiar. He must have grown accustomed to it the night before.
"Might I ask why?"
For a moment, Gavin thought over the excuses he had given Sir Thomas, that his suggestion had been more for her sake than his. At the same time, the real reason--Cherry--loomed larger than life in his mind's eye. He felt he could almost touch her. But how could he possibly explain that to the girl before him? No, better to use the same reasons he had expressed to her brother.
Some part of his inner struggle must have shown on his face, for even as he opened his mouth to repeat them, she spoke again.
"I already know what you told my brother. However, I believe you owe me the courtesy of telling me the real reason."
Gavin closed his mouth and swallowed. Suddenly he saw Miss Chesterton as a real person, with real feelings.
"Somehow he' had not been fully aware of that before, so wrapped up had he been in his own problems.
"Yes, I suppose you are right. I do owe you that much," he finally said.
"The reasons I gave your brother were merely those that I used to a.s.suage my own guilt over the business. None of this has been fair to you, from the very start." She frowned at that, and moved as though to speak, but subsided as he continued.
"I don't know whether your brother has told you this, but he agreed to betroth you to me in payment of a gaming debt." She nodded composedly, though her colour noticeably deepened
"It was wrong in both of us, but that is neither here nor there. When I agreed to marry you, I thought that a marriage of convenience was all that I wanted.
In fact, I fairly scorned the idea of a love match, for I did not then fully believe that love existed. Now I do. "
Frederica held her breath, afraid to hope. She had trembled when she demanded the earl's true reason, knowing what she risked. Now she would be forced to accept whatever he told her, however painful it might prove.
"Perhaps your brother has mentioned that I am guardian of my four-year-old niece, Christabel,"
he continued. Frederica nodded again, with barely suppressed eagerness.
"I engaged a nanny to care for hera young woman of high principles and compa.s.sion. Her... her name is not important just now. Though she was only with us for a matter of weeks, in that time I came to appreciate her true worth. We became... friends."
He appeared to grope for words, his expression clouding.
"In fact, I grew to love her--first, for her kindness to Christabel, and then to me, and, finally, for herself. Whether my feelings were returned I still do not know. A day or two before you came to Town, I acted rashly. While thanking her for everything she had done for... for Christabel, I was overcome by my feelings and I--I fear I may have frightened her."
As he spoke, Frederica telired that precious moment. It seemed impossible to her that he could not sense her turmoil, that the strength of her feelings did not reveal her to him.
"She knew that I was engaged to be married. I had not yet sorted out what I should do, not yet fully admitted to myself that I loved her. What she must have thought... I" The handsome planes of his face twisted with strong emotion, and the torment in his once sparkling blue eyes almost made Frederica gasp. Tears p.r.i.c.ked her own eyes as she shared in his pain.
"I let her go, thinking to explain everything in the morning, when my mind was clear. Stupid, stupid mistake! In the morning she was gone, and I have yet to find her again. But when I do" -- his expression became determined "--I plan to tell her of my love, to ask her to be my wife. You must see why I cannot continue with this... this betrothal, as honoured as any man would be to have you as his wife. Not now that I know what love--true love--is."
His eyes were pleading.
Frederica could endure no more. She loved him far too well to allow his suffering to continue--suffering of her own making! Taking a deep breath, she stood and stepped closer to him. "My lord, there is something I must confess to you as well," she began shakily.
At that moment, she heard a commotion out in the hall, through the door that the butler had left discreetly ajar, just as she had done earlier with Milly and Mr. Westlake. A child's voice, familiar and beloved, was speaking.
"She's in here, Abby! I heard her!" The door was thrust wide and Christabel burst into the room, the horrified housekeeper just behind her, glancing wildly from one of the room's occupants to the other.
"My lord, I am so sorry," Mrs Abbott began. "I don't" -- "Cherry! Cherry!
Cherry? Christabel's cries of delight drowned out her explanations.
Without hesitation, the little girl flung herself forward, wrapping her arms around Frederica's legs and forcing her to sit abruptly again on the sofa.
"You did come back! I knew you would?
Gavin stared. Instead of correcting the child, or even looking surprised at the interruption, Miss Chesterton returned Christabel's hug and pulled her onto her lap.
"I missed you so very much, darling," she said softly.
"Please, please promise you won't ever go away again!" Christabel snuggled up to her and tightened her rasp around Frederica's neck. Gavin stood dumbstruck as Miss Chesterton looked up at him questioningly, her enormous green eyes--Cherry's eyes--swimming with tears.