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He opened the front of her jeans and pushed his hand down below her underwear, making her squirm in her seat. His fingers found exactly what they sought, and he applied just the right pressure.
"I can't! Not in broad daylight," she said.
"You can and you will."
G.o.d. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. He moved his fingers over her, feeling her increased wetness at his touch.
"I'm not going to stop until you're there."
He loved making her come, making her lose control from his touch.
"This is only the start. I want you every way tonight, Laura, I want all of you."
She didn't know exactly what he meant but she knew she could trust him. Her breathing was getting faster, she was almost too sensitive beneath his fingers, but he didn't relent.
It was such direct stimulation that it didn't take him long to bring her over the edge. She felt her face flush with heat.
He glanced at her. "You are so beautiful when you're aroused."
It was the first time she had stayed in a proper hotel. She wanted to look around at everything, but he threw her on the bed.
"Finally."
Her heart was already racing for him, she needed more than what he had done to her in the car.
"After a week without you this will probably be over in seconds, but we have all night," he said.
Afterward she lay in his arms, completely and utterly happy. She still found it hard to believe she was with him. He was so good looking, so intelligent, so tall and strong. So adult, compared to boys of her own age. What did he see in her? She wasn't even one of the glamorous girls at school. There were a couple of sixth form girls who practically looked like models.
Yet he loved her and wanted her.
Laura turned onto her side and looked at his face, leaning on her elbow. He opened his eyes. "What is it?"
She lent over him and kissed his lips. She played with them, nibbling his bottom lip. Then while he lay there she worked her way down his body. Down his neck, past his collarbone. Over the hard, defined planes of his chest. His stomach with the trail of dark hair leading her lower.
She hadn't ever done what she planned to do, and had no real idea how to do it, but she wanted to make him feel as he made her feel. He was already hard again from her kisses over his body, and she wondered at the size of him. They didn't cover this in Biology.
She took him in her mouth, kneeling over him. His skin tasted salty but it wasn't bad. Her hair fell down in a curtain, brus.h.i.+ng against his stomach. He pushed it back, wanting to watch her.
Not really knowing what to do except to try and stimulate him as much as she could with her tongue, she moved her head down and tried to take him deeper into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around him and he groaned.
By instinct she got into a kind of rhythm, moving her head, hand, and tongue on him, not really knowing where she was going but aware that she was having more and more effect on him. Then his hips bucked and he pulled her head off him and she watched as he came. She had never seen it before.
"Where did you learn how to do that?"
She was embarra.s.sed to tell him it was the first time she had tried it.
"But how did you know what to do?" he asked.
"Magazines and stuff, you know." Susie had also told her a few things, but she didn't mention this to him. He knew that the others knew about them, after all she needed their help to be able to see him, but he didn't know exactly what details she shared.
The Italian restaurant was crowded due to it being the weekend. The lighting was dim, with candles on each table. They had deliberately chosen somewhere not far from the hotel.
It was a day of firsts: after the hotel, this was the first time Laura had been out with him in public. She had initially felt nervous but he was so easy to be with.
They shared a pizza and got onto the topic of Susie. "We have her to thank for your alibi. It makes me uneasy though, asking one of your school friends to lie," he said.
Laura explained that Susie didn't care what happened to her.
"She has her future all mapped out. Her uncle's going to give her a job in his business as soon as she's eighteen, and she says she'll get to travel the world."
"They're in wine aren't they?"
"Yes. Her parents want her to go to university but she says she can do that later on. Business studies or commerce."
Susie was so clear-sighted about what she wanted. None of the others had nearly such a definite idea of what they planned to do. Margery thought she would probably become a teacher and Charlotte still hoped for something in sport but Laura herself had no idea beyond going to university.
"Oxford or Cambridge?"
"G.o.d no, I don't think so. Only a few people go for that every year."
"You could easily do so, you're already in all top sets," he said. "What would you do, English?"
"Probably. I wondered about History for a while. If I take them both for A-levels I can decide later on."
The waiter came to top up their wine. Laura didn't usually drink much alcohol. Unlike many of her friends she had never even been drunk. She was already feeling tired and light headed but took a gamble on one more gla.s.s.
"If you do want to do Oxbridge I'll coach you," he said.
"But you did languages."
"It's no different, it's all literature. And I'd feel less guilt about taking advantage of you if I was benefitting your education rather than wrecking it."
Laura's head was swimming from the wine and she felt woozy from tiredness. She just wanted to fall asleep in bed with him but she knew he wanted her badly. The desire was in his eyes even in the restaurant.
She also knew that she would yield under his touch.
Back in the hotel room he soon had her clothes removed and laid her on the bed. He kissed her and caressed her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, touched her between her thighs. Her body instantly responded to his hands, she was defenceless against him, kissing him back, loving him, wanting him.
"Laura, I want you in a different way tonight."
She wasn't sure at first what he meant. She had an idea but it wasn't until he moved his hand to a lower place that she understood. The anxiety showed in her face.
"We'll go really slowly. And only when you're ready," he said.
She trusted him. His went down on her while his finger probed her gently yet firmly. The sensations somehow combined, and although it felt strange and even wrong, his mouth was bringing her near the edge.
He broke off suddenly. "Don't stop," she said.
"I don't want you to come yet. I want you to be absolutely begging for this."
He turned his attention to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and stomach, his mouth making her moan and arch against him, longing for him to touch her where she needed it most, but he wouldn't. Instead he slipped his hand back down to explore her further.
It didn't really hurt but she wasn't sure if she liked it. It made her feel sort of empty because she wanted him inside her, on the front of her. She felt him use two fingers and it was a little painful as he first pushed them into her. He moved his fingers gently inside her. He was stretching her slowly, making sure she would be able to accommodate him.
"Do you want me?" he asked.
She wanted him desperately, but she wasn't sure if she wanted him in the way he did. She was so wet and ready for him, but not there. She felt him using her own wetness to lubricate her ready for him.
"I want to be as close to you as possible. I want to make every part of you mine."
It was his words that she couldn't resist, his possessiveness. It made her want to yield to him.
"What do you want, Laura?"
"I want you." She could barely whisper.
He turned her over and got her to push her knees up underneath her. She was exposed to him from behind, he gripped her wrists as he leant over her so she had no defences. Then she felt him where his fingers had been and he pushed - slowly - persisting even though her body was resisting him.
"Like this? Do you want me here?"
She couldn't answer him. It felt forbidden and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop or not. Part of her wanted to be able to give this to him, part of her wasn't sure if he would stop if she asked him to.
"We can take it as slowly as you like," he told her.
Once again it was what he said that scared and thrilled her, and made her resistance slip just enough to let him take her. She felt her body start yielding to him. It did hurt and she couldn't help crying out, and he paused.
"Are you ok? I don't want to hurt you," he said. Letting go of her wrists he stroked her back and kissed down her spine, making her s.h.i.+ver with delight. His hands reached to fondle her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He stayed there for some time.
Then gradually, infinitesimally slowly, he continued to enter her. It took longer than she had thought, but he was gentle, and once he was fully inside her she felt strange and not completely comfortable, but it wasn't terrible.
His touches on the rest of her body were still driving her wild, but he wouldn't touch her where she wanted him to. She tried to move his hand there but he refused, and when she tried to move her own hand there he pushed it away.
"Be patient. We'll get there," he told her.
She was completely in his control. He started to pull back and push again into her, tiny movements. It felt like a dragging followed by more pressure and fullness. After a while he was moving further in and out, still gently but faster.
"I want you to feel me fully, every inch of me. I want you to understand how close I want to be to you, how much I ache for you when I see you every day and can't have you."
Then he finally moved his hand between her legs, just where she wanted it, his fingers finding the exact spot she needed pressure. At the same time he started going faster and harder, but she was distracted from it hurting by his touch elsewhere.
Then as his finger slid over her c.l.i.t her body started to lose control. It was a deeper, more raw sensation that she had ever experienced with him before. It was darker and she felt it more in her stomach. She also realised she was crying.
She didn't remember much after that. There was a memory of him finally moving from her, wrapping his arms around her and cradling her, but then she must have fallen asleep.
20. Playing away.
The next day was a bright jewel in the middle of the long, darkening season. They tried to see as many sights as they could as though they had to cram months of dates into a single day.
This was living in the moment. This was not thinking about the future, or the next week, or even the next day.
Being out in public with him was wonderful. He put his arm around her, they were a couple, in the crowds of anonymous people they didn't have to hide. She felt pride at being with him, several time she saw other girls look at him admiringly.
Laura had a couple of anxious moments when she imagined she saw someone she knew and panicked. But it was just paranoia, they were safe. Most of the time she was able to relax.
"If that really was Pat Ayers coming out of a pub in Soho she'd have more explaining to do than us," Mr Rydell said.
No one seemed to notice their age gap. Laura knew she could look older than her age, she had managed to get into 18 certificate films at the cinema even a couple of years ago. She had tried to make herself look older, getting a new jacket during half term in a more grown up style. She was happy to see several girls in London wearing similar, some of them in their early twenties at least.
Yet there was still the thrill of the forbidden. The times when he would catch her eye and she knew they shared this dangerous secret.
"Sometimes I wonder if we should have waited until you leave school," he said as she had lain in his arms earlier that morning.
"Am I too young for you?"
He silenced her with a kiss, and with his body he again showed her just how perfect she was for him. "You are perfect for me. We fit so well."
Laura felt like she could never get enough of him. Even when he was demanding it was never too much.
But she was worried. Worried that he would get bored of her, or change his mind and look for someone older with more experience. She had nothing to compare anything to, as he was her first lover and first real boyfriend.
She tried to explain this to him, how she was anxious she couldn't meet his needs as much as she wanted him.
"What we did last night, that's not something I need often. Never, if you don't want it. I just needed it one time from you," he told her.
They saw the Crown Jewels and the famous waxworks, then had lunch in Soho before going to the British Museum. At one point they pa.s.sed a jewellers and he went inside. Coming out he gave her a box.
"This is for you. It's not the Cullinan diamond but you have to have some souvenir."
It was a sparkling stone on a fine gold chain, like a raindrop. Laura loved it and put it on immediately. "I can wear it under my uniform," she said. Jewellery was forbidden at Francis Hall except for discreet Christian crosses worn below clothing.
She was gladdest of all that they had gone to the British Museum. Something about it moved her, it felt hallowed.
There wasn't enough time to see everything so they picked the most famous artefacts. Laura was imprinting memories: if she ever saw the Elgin Marbles or the Rosetta Stone again she would always remember him.
She liked the Greek and Roman statues best with their smoothly perfect, lifelike marble. Now she had known his body she could look at them and imagine how their muscles would feel beneath her hands. The sculpture she had been making in Art cla.s.s had transformed after she first slept with him and properly understood how a male torso should feel.