Timeless Regency Collection: A Country Christmas Part 20

She glanced at Archie and saw that his neck and ears were red. His expression was a grimace of apology. "You don't have to, Jane."

Her heart shrank further into a painful little rock. She could feel the others watching. "Oh, mistletoe." She forced cheer into her voice. "How nice." She placed a hand on Archie's shoulder and rose up onto her toes, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

She turned without looking to see his expression. "You found mistletoe, Jonathan. Now we need to locate some holly." Jane kept her voice light to disguise the growing ache in her chest.

"Yes," Maryann said. "It will be dark soon, and we've still gathered no Christmas greenery." She slid her arm through her husband's, and the two started back up the hill.

Jane stepped out of the ruined snow fort and joined Mother Kathleen, linking arms with the older woman. She did not allow herself to look back, not when, for the second time in as many days, an encounter beneath the mistletoe had brought her to tears.

Chapter Five.

When they returned to the cottage, the night was near to full dark. Archie released the sled's rope and rubbed the ache at the base of his back. He was cold and wet and exhausted. He a.s.sumed the others felt much the same. He opened the door and was greeted by a blanket of warm air carrying a savory aroma. How could a mere smell raise his spirits? His mouth watered.

Bless you, Eliza Cringlewood.

The caretaker's wife unbent from stirring a pot over the fire and curtseyed as the group entered. "Welcome back, my lord, Lord Spencer, and ladies."

Simon joined her, giving a small bow. "I 'as nearly ready to go looking for the lot of ya. Worried ye'd gotten yerselves lost."

"Your concern is appreciated," Archie said. "But as you can see, we are all safely returned." He nodded toward the caretaker, then turned, looking for Jane through the commotion of his companions shaking off snow and removing wet outer clothing. He needed an opportunity to speak to her alone.

She stood behind the others in the corner, untying her bonnet.

Archie moved through the group to join her. "Jane."

She didn't answer, unfastening her cloak without lifting her gaze. He moved behind her and took it from her shoulders. She s.h.i.+vered. The heavy garment was cold and wet. Archie feared she might catch a chill. "Come closer to the fire."

He touched his hand to her lower back, putting a bit of pressure to coax her forward.

"Thank you." Her voice was soft, but he could hear the hurt in it. She wrapped her arms around her middle but didn't move from her position.

Archie stepped around to face her, wis.h.i.+ng for even the smallest bit of privacy in this wretched cottage. He settled for turning his back to the rest of the group. "Jane, I'm sorry. Please believe me. I never intended to hurt you."

"You've no need to apologize." She turned to slip past him. "I know you meant well. You care about me, just like the others." She paused, her eyes moving to his. "I suppose I was just surprised. I thought-"

Archie caught her arm. "You thought what?"

She shook her head. "It is nothing."

"Jane, please."

She started to turn away but hesitated, once again fixing him with her perfect, blue-eyed gaze. "I thought you felt differently." Sorrow filled her eyes, and she seemed to wilt. "Sometimes, with you, I can almost forget." Her voice was quiet. She moved past, pulling away her arm.

Archie's stomach sank. He stood, holding her dripping cloak, and watched as she joined Kathleen near the hearth.

The older woman put an arm around her shoulder, moving Jane back a few steps as if worried she was standing too close to the fire.

Jane didn't protest, but stood silently, letting Mother Kathleen fuss over her. Archie saw no trace of the confident woman who'd directed him to refer to her as "General" in their snow fortress. Could this be the same Jane whose eyes gleamed with mischievous mirth as she winked after reading aloud Apuleius's shocking tale?

How must she feel with everyone walking about as if on eggsh.e.l.ls, worried that she might suffer another attack? Did she think they all watched her, just waiting for panic to overtake her? How would it be to feel as though one's friends didn't trust her sanity?

Archie's unease grew. He'd been every bit as guilty as the others, pitying her, watching out for her, fearing what might set her off. He cared for her-of course he did-but he never fully trusted her capability. His mouth tasted sour, and a wave of shame flowed hot through him. He was an arrogant fool to believe all Jane needed was a man to protect her, to watch over her, and keep her safe from herself. When, in truth, it wasn't what she needed at all, not really. Jane Croft needed someone to believe in her. To see past her loveliness and frailties and just trust her.

He hadn't been that person at all.

"It smells divine in here." Kathleen made her way to the hearth. "What have you made, Eliza?"

"Rabbit stew, my lady."

Kathleen smiled. "Just the thing to warm us up."

Simon put a worn woolen cloak over Eliza's shoulders and held his arm around her waist. "I best be getting my wife home."

Kathleen nodded. "Yes, you look very tired, my dear."

Archie looked closer. Eliza's face was pale. She did look tired. And yet here she was, preparing their supper. He stood aside, opening the door for the couple, then followed them out, closing the door behind him. "Simon, Eliza, I cannot tell you how I appreciate your efforts on our behalf." Knowing what a sacrifice it must be to unexpectedly care for them, especially in Eliza's condition, filled him with a grat.i.tude he'd rarely felt. While he'd experienced the generosity of others, it had never felt as if the other party had sacrificed so greatly for him. His thanks felt extremely inadequate.

"'Tis our pleasure, my lord," Simon said.

"I didn't once consider how our surprise arrival might have affected your own holiday plans, and yet you've shown us the most thoughtful care. I truly don't know what we would have done without your generosity." And, indeed, he did not. Stranded as they were, without the couple's a.s.sistance, they'd likely have spent the last twenty-four hours cold and hungry in the stables.

"Thank you." Eliza dipped in a curtsey, her eyes wincing in pain.

Archie experienced a moment of helplessness, wis.h.i.+ng he knew how a.s.sist her. "Will you-Are you able to walk? I'm sorry, I've no carriage to offer."

Simon tightened his arm around her waist. "Don' trouble yerself, my lord. A strong'un is my Eliza. She'll be right as new in the morning."

"Yes, well, I'm glad to hear it." Archie scratched behind his ear. "That brings me to another concern. I hate to impose on you further, but Christmas supper . . ."

"Not to worry. I've a fine goose," Eliza said. "The bird's rather on the small side, but Simon brought in some fowl this morning."

"And Eliza's been preparing ever since ye arrived: stuffing, pudding, potatoes, squash, mince pies." Simon's grin shone in the dark. "'Twill most certainly be enough for all."

Archie's throat tightened at the sight of these two good people and their selfless actions. His family had always taken special care of the poor at Christmastime, and he realized he'd never been on the receiving end of that type of charity. He felt extremely humbled. He swallowed hard, finding himself unable to speak for a moment.

"O' course, I realize your lords.h.i.+p is used to much finer foods-venison and roast beef and such." Eliza twisted her hands, apparently mistaking his silence for disapproval. "I'm afraid-"

Archie shook his head, clearing his constricted throat. "Eliza Cringlewood, I forbid you to apologize." His voice sounded rather choked, and he blinked at the moisture in his eyes. "You have done more than I had any right to expect, and I cannot begin to thank you." He stepped forward and took each of their hands, feeling the strongest urge to embrace these good people, but resisted, knowing it would only make them more uncomfortable. "I wish I knew how to repay your generosity."

"'Tisn't necessary, my lord." Simon said. "Happy to help, we are. After all, it's Christmas."

Archie pinched the bridge of his nose. Once he'd regained a bit of his composure, he spoke. "Please, you will join us for Christmas dinner?"

The two looked at each other, then at him.

"I would consider it an honor," Archie said.

"Thank you, your lords.h.i.+p," Simon nodded his head solemnly. "Now, if ye please, Eliza needs to rest."

Archie stepped inside a moment later and saw Kathleen and Jane were preparing the table.

"Oh, look, Jane." Kathleen pulled a loaf-shaped pan from the basket. "Bread pudding."

Jane didn't say anything. She nodded, then fetched more plates from the cupboard.

"Are you feeling all right, Jane dear?" Kathleen asked.

"Yes. Thank you," Jane responded in a quiet voice.

Archie's chest was tight. He crossed the s.p.a.ce and took the plates from her, trying to catch her gaze as he set them on the table. After a moment, he resigned himself. Regaining Jane's trust wouldn't come easily.

The rabbit stew tasted every bit as good as it smelled. Eliza had brought peasant bread and honey, and the bread pudding with clotted cream could have competed with the creation of any chef in London. Archie would never have believed such simple fare could taste so delicious.

As they ate, Archie told the group about the Cringlewoods' preparations for a Christmas feast and his invitation for the couple to join them.

They discussed the best way to arrange the furniture to accommodate the larger party. Kathleen a.s.signed the men to fetch tablecloths and dishes from the manor, as well as some chairs and another table.

Jonathan looked as if he'd protest, but Archie agreed. If they were going to do this, they'd do a fine job of it, in spite of the inconvenience. Besides, the sled would make the trips much easier.

Maryann reminded the men to invite Tom from the stables as well.

Jane remained quiet throughout the meal. From her expression, she seemed to be listening closely, but did not contribute more than a few comments, despite Archie's attempts to draw her into the conversation. When the meal was finished, she excused herself, then returned a moment later holding a small package.

"If you please." She spoke quietly, her eyes meeting each of theirs, then dropping to the wrapped parcel in her hands. "I have been thinking of the Cringlewoods and how very kind they've been to us. I wanted to do something. To give them a Christmas gift."

"A fine idea, dear," Kathleen said.

Jane held up the package. "Maryann, I purchased these rabbit fur mittens for you, but if you don't mind-"

"Eliza could use them more than I," Maryann finished for her.

Jane nodded. "Yes."

"Very thoughtful of you," Maryann said. "And I have a contribution of my own." She hurried from the room and returned with a package as well. "Jonathan, I'd intended this scarf for you, but Simon . . ."

Jonathan nodded. "I heartily approve."

Kathleen jumped up. "And I have just the thing." She hurried into her bedchamber and returned with her own package. "I knitted this blanket for Miriam Pemberley's new baby, but I'm sure she would not mind waiting a few more weeks for another."

Archie's heart warmed. Jane felt exactly as he about the Cringlewoods, yet instead of simply wis.h.i.+ng she could do something in return, she'd taken action.

Jane beamed as she looked at the pile of gifts. "Oh, yes. They will be so happy. Can we deliver them tonight?" She clapped her hands together. "What if we knock on the door and hurry away before they answer?"

"Jonathan, you and Archie can deliver the gifts while we decorate the cottage." Kathleen started to gather the dishes from the table. "Jane and Maryann, if you please, will you bring in the greenery from the sled?"

Maryann started toward the door, but Jane remained where she was. "I'd hoped to deliver the gifts as well." Archie could see her hands clenched behind her back.

Kathleen and Maryann exchanged a concerned glance, then looked at Jane. They both stepped toward her. Jane winced as if bracing herself.

"My dear," Kathleen said.

"Jane," Maryann began.

"Absolutely!" Archie spoke up before the others could finish. "The proposal was Jane's, and she should be the one to execute the plan."

The entire room turned toward him, alarm on their faces, save for one whose expression shone with grat.i.tude, and hers was the only one that mattered to Archie.

"But, Jane, are you certain you should go into the forest?" Maryann asked.

She nodded. "Yes. I will be all right. There is nothing to fear. Not when Archie is with me."

Their cloaks weren't fully dried, but Archie grabbed them anyway. He didn't think anything could chill him after Jane's declaration of confidence in him. And he wanted to leave immediately, before anyone talked her out of going.

Once they were bundled again in their outerwear, the pair stepped back into the snow. Jane stopped at the sled and pulled off bits of holly, tucking them into the ribbons on the gifts. She held the packages against her and smiled at Archie.

"Shall I carry the parcels?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'd like to bring them, if it's all right with you."

"Very well, then." He lifted a lantern, and the two set off. Archie felt most ungentlemanly walking through the dark forest without taking her arm or carrying her load. But he could feel Jane's resolve and knew that, though it was a small errand, to her it signified much more.

He held the lantern high and kept pace with her. The pathway was marked by the Cringlewoods' footprints as well as his own, but it was still far from an easy walk. The snow was deep, and in the cold of night, a layer of ice covered it, making it not only difficult to step in and out of the uneven pathway, but slippery as well. He rested a hand at Jane's waist, ready to catch her if she should lose her footing.

Above them, branches swayed as the wind howled. The lantern's shadows played off the moving trees, and Archie found himself jumping at every sound-whether startled himself or worried the noises might frighten Jane, he wasn't certain.

Jane walked in silence, and he glanced at her each time she paused or changed her breathing. He strained his ears and tightened his nerves, wondering if, at any second, Jane would have an attack of panic and drop the parcels and run off into the woods. Would she weep? Call out? Would he have any warning?

"I am all right, Archie," she said after they'd walked a few minutes. "You do not need to be so tense."

"I am not tense."

"Your knuckles are white, and your jaw is clenched." She hugged the parcels closer, cutting her eyes at him. "I can do this."