Best Of Makeovers Bundle Part 80

She sighed and tried to turn her attention back to her computer.

Unfortunately, Reid loomed behind her, still all businessy. "Tell me what resources you need. What I can do to help."

Wanting just to get rid of him so she could sort through her emotions in peace, she said, "I don't need resources. Or help. All I need is time."

And a miracle.

She'd needed a miracle before, when Dorothea had transformed her into Sasha. But this time she needed a miracle even greater than the powers of pressed makeup and push-up bras.

Worse still, the whole company was depending on her this time. She couldn't let them down.

She only wished her heart would stop aching, because if today had proved anything to her, it had proved that, to Reid, she was far more valuable as an employee than she was as a lover.

"Jane took that better than I would have thought," Matt said when Reid finally made it back to his office. Matt was sipping the cup of coffee Audrey had brought for him, sitting in the chair Jane had abandoned. "Do you think she can pull another rabbit out of her hat?"

"I tend to think Jane can do just about anything she chooses. But in less than five days? I don't know. That's pus.h.i.+ng it. Even for her."

Matt stretched his legs out in front of him, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world. "Well, if you trust her, I'm sure she'll be fine."

"You're not worried?" Reid wished he could feel even half as relaxed about this disaster as Matt did.

"Not at all."

"Well, I am." And it was all he could do not to shake Matt by his seemingly unburdened shoulders.

"You worry too much."

Then again, the burden of running Forester+Blake didn't fall on Matt's shoulders. And only Reid could bear the burden of making this colossal mistake.

"My dad left this company in my hands. If it fails, it's my fault. That's why I worry about it."

"Your father left you the company because he wanted you to enjoy it. Not because he wanted you to worry about it.

"Well, he didn't leave it to me expecting it to fail, that's for sure."

"Tres Bien is one account."

"But it's an account we need."

"If we lose it, we'll find another. Stop being so hard on yourself."

"If we lose the Tres Bien account, it's my fault."

Matt-d.a.m.n him-chuckled. As if this were all just an amusing game. "You always did have an overactive sense of responsibility."

"I'm serious, Matt. If we lose this account, it's my fault."

Matt shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. "Sure, in an abstract sense, it is. You're the CEO. Everything that happens to the company is your responsibility. You're in charge of everything. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera."

"Not in an abstract sense. In a real sense. Martin-"

"You can't blame yourself for Martin leaving."

"No, but I blame myself for letting him take Jane's idea. He didn't need to be in on the Tres Bien meetings."

"You must have felt differently when you invited him," Matt reasoned.

That was just like Matt, to make excuses for him.

As nice as it would be to let Matt's explanation stand, Reid had to tell him the truth.

"The only reason I invited Martin to the meeting was to prove to him that Jane was capable of handling the Tres Bien pitch. He'd made disparaging remarks about Jane...said she was an idiot. It irritated me. I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to rub his nose in it."

Matt studied him over the rim of his coffee cup, then slowly lowered the mug to the arm of the chair. "You were angry that he doubted your choice. That he was undermining your leaders.h.i.+p."

Reid could do nothing but straighten his shoulders and be brutally honest. "No. I was angry that he doubted Jane. I was feeling protective of her."

Reid watched Matt closely, waiting for his reaction. He forced himself not to look away as understanding dawned in Matt's eyes.

"So, Jane is your mystery woman, after all."

"Yes."

"You lied to me?"

"Not exactly." He crossed to the bookshelf and grabbed a stack of beanbags. As he shuffled the bags from hand to hand, he said, "The last time you and I talked about it, there was nothing going on between Jane and I."

"But now there is," Matt surmised. "Even though you thought it would be a horrible mistake to get involved with an employee."

"Yes."

Matt leaned forward in his chair, steepling his fingers and peering at Reid from over them. "Then she must really mean a lot to you."

For an instant, Matt's words stopped him. Did Jane mean a lot to him?

But he shoved aside the question before he could even begin to formulate an answer. "What matters," he said to Matt, "is that I've compromised a major project because I got too involved with an employee. If I'd just kept my distance, this never would have happened."

Matt shook his head, meeting his gaze with far more understanding than Reid could offer himself. "It's pointless to think that way." He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. "I've watched you these past couple of weeks. You've enjoyed yourself more at work than you ever have in the past. Now that I know about Jane, I understand why. If getting involved with her caused you to make one bad decision, it's worth it if you're no longer miserable at work."

Which was all well and good for Matt to say.

Reid couldn't be as easy on himself. Unable to sit still any longer, he paced to the bank of windows and stared out of them. "You don't understand. Ever since I took over the company, this is exactly the situation I've been most afraid of."

"That you'd date an employee and lose an account over it?" Matt asked glibly. "That seems a bit far-fetched."

Reid sucked in a deep breath, determined not to take his frustration out on Matt, no matter how annoying he was being. "No, I've been afraid of getting too involved with my employees. Afraid that if I did I wouldn't be able to make the tough decisions, that I wouldn't be able to fire people when we lost accounts."

He turned around to meet Matt's gaze. "I thought I was safe with Jane. I thought because she was so good I'd never be in a position where I might have to fire her. It just never occurred to me that she'd still affect my ability to make good decisions. And now I've screwed up everything."

Matt stood and crossed to his side. He clapped his hand on Reid's shoulder and met his gaze. For once, there was no merry twinkle in his eyes, no easy acceptance. Just the same affection his gaze had always held, mixed with concern.

"For once, forget about the company. Business will sort itself out. It always does. Just think about how you feel and what you want. It's obvious you care deeply about Jane. Maybe you've even fallen in love with her."

Reid opened his mouth to protest, but immediately snapped it shut. Was he in love with Jane?

He just didn't know. He'd never been in love. Never even felt love until he was well into his teens. What basis did he have for comparison?

Luckily, Matt didn't wait for him to respond. "If you want this to work, you can make it work. The company doesn't have to have anything to do with it. And if you think it does, then you have to ask yourself, are you really afraid of hurting the company, or are you afraid of something else?"

Before Reid could ask Matt what he meant by that cryptic question, Matt turned and left, quietly shutting the door behind him. Leaving Reid alone with his thoughts. Alone with a probing question that Reid didn't even want to ask.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

MATT'S WORDS HAUNTED REID for the rest of the day.

Yes, he was afraid of hurting the company. The financial security of Forester+Blake had been his first concern ever since his father had died five years ago.

But was there more to his devotion to Forester +Blake than just that? Was Matt right?

The question nagged at him, preventing him from accomplis.h.i.+ng any work at all. He wanted to see Jane. To talk this all through with her. But he knew that was impossible. She was stuck back in her cubicle, hard at work on the Tres Bien ad.

The ad she had to redo because of his screwup. Under the circ.u.mstances, he could hardly burden her further with his personal problems.

So he forced himself to stay locked away in his office until well after five, staring blankly at financial reports without seeing them. Finally, his resolve cracked and he went in search of her.

She wasn't at her desk, which surprised him, because she usually worked until at least six. He checked the surrounding cubicles, the break room, and even the conference room. She didn't even answer her cell phone.

As he took the elevator down to the lobby, he was mentally making a list of all the places around town she might be, when it hit him. Instead of heading for his car, he took the elevator up to the top floor, and then the stairs to the roof.

Sure enough, there she was, leaning against the edge of the wrought-iron table, her hands braced on either side of her hips, her voluptuous shape silhouetted against the sun as she stared out at the view of downtown.

For a moment he simply watched her, allowing his heart to flood with tenderness. There was a twinge of fear there, as well.

He had so much riding on the slim shoulders of this complex and crazy woman. Not just the Tres Bien ad, but so much more. His personal happiness. And-he was beginning to think-his future, as well.

In some ways, he barely knew her. She fought so hard to keep him out. But in other ways, he knew all he needed to know. She was smart and witty, once she opened up. Self-deprecating. Caring. Devoted to what she believed in. Most of all, she made him happy. And just watching her brought him a kind of peace he hadn't felt in years.

As he made his way across the roof to her side, he told himself it would be enough. Now if only he could convince her.

When he was a few feet away, she spun around to face him.

"I'm glad I didn't miss the sunset," he said.

From this distance, in this light, he couldn't read her expression. After a moment, she turned back to the view without saying anything.

He went to stand by her side, but the view didn't hold his attention. Looking at her, he couldn't help but think of the last time they'd been up here, just a few short weeks ago.

Staring down at her, he mused, "How in the world did I not recognize you that night?"

She slanted a look in his direction. "It was dark." Turning back to the view, she wrapped her arms around her chest. "Besides, people see what they want to see."

"I suppose you're right. I knew I was attracted to you, but I thought I couldn't act on it. So when I saw you that night up here on the rooftop, I saw a stranger. Someone I could be attracted to. Someone I could get involved with without having it mess up my life or complicate matters."

She stiffened. "Sorry I messed up your plan."

He reached for her just as she was pulling away from him. Wrapping his hands around her upper arms, he pulled her closer, making her look up at him. "I'm not sorry. Being with you has made me realize just how empty my life has been."

Now that she was facing him, he could see her features more clearly. Half of her face was illuminated by the fading sunlight, half was cast in shadow. She was like that-even after all the time they'd spent together, she was still a bit of a mystery.

He studied her, waiting for some reaction to his words, but she had none, so he pressed on, needing her to understand what he'd only recently begun to understand about himself.

"I never wanted to be an adman. It wasn't something I'd have picked for myself."

"But it's your father's company, so you do it for him."

He nodded. "But I've never resented it. I loved my parents. They took me in, gave me a home and family. Things I never dreamed of having for myself. I guess even now that they're gone, I just want to make them proud."

With her head bobbed slightly to the side, she studied him. "He w-would be proud. He loved you very much, even before y-you came home to run the company. But if it doesn't make you happy-"

"That's just it. I always felt like I owed everything to the company. I was okay giving everything to the company. I was okay with the fact that it never made me happy. But now..."

He broke off, dropping his hands from her arms. d.a.m.n, this was harder than he'd thought it would be.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he paced to the edge of the rooftop and stared out at the city below.

"But now..." she prodded from behind him.

"But now I realize the company was just an excuse. Just a reason to keep people at a distance." He forced himself to turn back and face her. "It's hard for me to let people get close. I don't know, maybe it's hard for anyone without a family. You go from foster home to foster home. From school to school. It's easiest to just keep your distance from everyone, then you don't miss them when you move on.

"I didn't realize until today that I was still doing it. Still keeping everyone at arm's length. My parents were the last people-h.e.l.l, maybe the only people-I was really close to. But you, Jane...you snuck right past my defenses."

He thought he saw her eyes widen-thought he saw a flash of emotion in her eyes-but in fading light he could hardly tell for sure.

"What are you saying, Reid?"

"I've fallen in love with you. I know this complicates things at work. I know this isn't what we agreed upon, but-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, she was in his arms. Pressing her body to his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth down to hers.

Part of him wanted to resist, to finish what he'd been about to say. But he'd never been able to resist her. Not that first night, when he'd thought she was just Sasha. Not when he'd realized she was Jane. And certainly not now, when he'd realized she was the woman he loved.

Her mouth was hot under his. There was nothing timid in her kiss, only fierce pa.s.sion. Relentless and demanding. He felt his body quickening in response. Felt his very soul calling out to hers.