Best Of Makeovers Bundle Part 15

But he didn't seem to mind.

In fact, he had the same slightly desperate look on his face. As if to say that if they didn't make love, right here, right now-all the way-he was going to implode.

Just as she would.

He s.h.i.+fted slightly, fitting himself against her entrance. Unable to stop herself, she pushed up to meet him, and he slid home.

At her sharp exhalation, he held himself tense. 'Do you want me to stop? Did I hurt you?'

He cared that much for her that he'd stop-leave himself frustrated rather than hurt her? She melted. 'No. It's just...been a while,' she admitted. 'And I want you too much.'

'Me, too, so I'm probably not going to last too long. It's not going to be as good as you deserve,' he warned. 'Not the first time, anyway.'

The first time? He was planning...more? The thought sent desire rocketing through her. She needed this. Right now. 'This feels good enough to me,' she said, and wrapped her legs round his waist.

He grinned. 'You wait. Because it's only going to get better, honey.'

Max wasn't her first lover, but she couldn't remember it ever being like this. The intense, raw desire in his eyes thrilled her. His body fitted hers perfectly, and his first shallow strokes had her quivering. And then, as he pushed deeper, driving into her, she felt herself soaring higher and higher.

This was exactly what she wanted. What she needed. What she'd been looking for, without really knowing it.

Just Max.

And the realisation almost stopped her breathing. Max was The One. He couldn't be. Logically, he couldn't be-he was everything she should avoid. A playboy. A man who couldn't commit. A man who'd break her heart.

But he was everything she wanted. Clever. Driven. Pa.s.sionate. A man who took risks and followed his heart. A man who turned her on with a single look-and whose company didn't bore her.

Max was The One.

He couldn't be. They barely knew each other. It was way too soon.

And yet...she knew.

She closed her eyes, and he stopped moving.

Shocked, she opened her eyes and stared at him. 'Max?'

'Better.' His eyes were hot and feral. 'Much better.' He stole a kiss. 'Don't close your eyes. I want to see you, Cyn. I want to see your eyes when you come.'

This was much, much more than she'd expected. Especially when he began to move again. Slow, shallow strokes that had her quivering. And then deeper, deeper. As she felt his body shudder against hers she looked deep into his eyes. Saw the need and the burning hunger there. Mirrored from her own gaze.

And her body tightened round his.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

THE next morning, Cyn woke, feeling warm and comfortable and very much at peace with the world. If there was such a thing as perfection, this was it. Waking up in bed with Max Taylor. He was curled behind her, spooned against her, his arm wrapped tightly round her and holding her to him.

She'd spent the night with him, in his enormous bateau-lit. And what a night. Max had taken her to paradise and back. Several times. She was definitely sleep deprived, but she wouldn't have missed a single moment of last night. The way he'd made her feel. The way he'd pushed back all the barriers so in the end there were only the two of them, skin to skin, and nothing else mattered.

Now, it was late enough for morning light to be filtering through into the room. Which meant she had to make a decision: stay or go?

Her body screamed that it wanted to stay exactly where it was, wrapped in Max's arms.

Her mind knew that wasn't a good idea. Because what had last night really been about, to Max? s.e.x. Very good s.e.x, admittedly-but still just s.e.x. He hadn't said a word to her about love.

Not that she expected him to. They hadn't known each other that long. Logically, he couldn't possibly have fallen in love with her. Even though she knew now she'd fallen for him. In the light of morning, Cyn's mind had switched back to logical mode, and she was sensible enough to know it wouldn't work out between them. She'd seen this happen so many times before with her mother. And she'd chosen exactly the same kind of man for herself: one who didn't want to settle down. Today, Max would start to think about the possibility of emotional commitment and Cyn knew he'd panic. This was too soon, too fast, too much. He'd already told her he didn't do commitment. Lisa had told her that he didn't date women more than three times, and Cyn really didn't want to end up eating her heart out over him.

So it was better to leave now-now, before the huge crack in the middle of her heart split open and reduced her to rubble. Carefully, gently, she prised his arm away. Slipped out from the covers. And she was just about to hunt down her clothes when his voice stopped her.

'Where are you going?'

He was awake?

'Come back to bed.' It was an invitation, not an order. A soft, sleepy, s.e.xy invitation.

One she wanted to accept. And one she really had to refuse, for her own peace of mind. She kept her back to him. 'I need to be in the office this morning. Catch up on all the stuff I didn't have a chance to do in the week when I was troubleshooting for the Wharf Gallery.' Though she'd have to go home first and change. And face Lisa. She wasn't looking forward to that and the explanations her extremely nosy housemate would demand.

'Cyn. Look at me.'

She did. Mistake. He looked rumpled and s.e.xy and utterly desirable, and she was within a hair's breadth of leaping straight back into his bed.

'Do you really have to go?'

Not for work. But for the sake of her sanity. She nodded.

'Stay a bit longer,' he invited. 'You're going to get very cold standing there.'

Cold was good. Cold meant her brain would work. If she climbed back into bed with him, her brain would turn back into a pile of mush.

'Plus-' his voice deepened '-I can't concentrate when you're naked and right in my line of vision. You're too distracting.'

Oh, G.o.d. How could she possibly have forgotten that she was naked?

But Max did that to her. When she was near him, she forgot about everything except him. Which scared the h.e.l.l out of her. She hated that feeling of not being in control.

'I'm not going to leap on you. Even though I admit that I want to.' He s.h.i.+fted to the side, pulled the duvet back and patted the mattress. 'Come and talk to me.'

Even knowing that it wasn't a good idea, she couldn't resist the mute appeal in his eyes. How could blue eyes possibly have the same effect on you as a pair of soulful brown spaniel's eyes? It wasn't logical. But Max's did.

Silently, she climbed into the bed and covered herself with the duvet, though she made sure she wasn't sitting too close to him.

Max reached out to tangle his fingers with hers. 'Tell me what's wrong, honey,' he said softly.

She'd bet he called all his women 'honey'. Time to face facts. She was just one of a long, long line. And there would be plenty more after her. 'Last night...' Oh, how could she put this without sounding pathetic?

'Last night was good.' He raised her hand to his mouth. 'If it wasn't good for you, all you had to do was tell me what you wanted. Teach me what you like. Show me where you wanted me to touch you-how you wanted me to touch you.'

Cyn felt the colour rush into her face. 'I didn't mean that.'

'I'm glad.' Though he didn't sound puffed-up with pride; it wasn't an ego thing, then.

'Because I wanted last night to be good for you, too,' he added softly.

It had been. But...This was today. This was reality. 'I don't do flings, Max. I've seen what they did to my mum.'

He frowned. 'I don't understand.'

'My mum...everyone looked down on us in the village. You saw that at the wedding. I wanted to show them all that I was as good as them-no, better.'

'Because you were the scholars.h.i.+p kid, not from a rich family?'

'Partly. And partly-' she lifted her chin '-because I didn't have a dad.' Her eyes blazed at him, daring him to say she wasn't good enough for him because she was illegitimate.

Max knew he had to make sure he said the right thing. The problem was, he didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt her, add another layer to past hurts. But he couldn't promise her for ever, either; he wasn't a for ever kind of man. And this was rapidly becoming the worst morning-after awkwardness he'd ever experienced. 'Does it matter that you didn't have a dad?' he asked at last.

The tension in her face relaxed, just a tiny bit. 'It did to everyone else in the village. I wanted to prove that my mum didn't make a mistake in keeping me.'

Cyn thought she was a mistake? He squeezed her hand. 'I've met your mother, remember. I've seen how she is with you. She loves you. And she's very, very proud of you. I very much doubt she ever thought you were a mistake.'

'She didn't.' Cyn swallowed miserably. 'Other people did. That she shouldn't have kept me because I held her back. I don't know how, but Mich.e.l.le Wilson found out about my dad. She told everyone. The whispers in the playground, the little looks...I hated it. But what I really minded was what they said about my mum. She wasn't a tart.'

'Of course your mother isn't a tart!' Max frowned. 'Why on earth did they say that?'

'Because she had a few-' She broke off and shook her head. 'A few? More like a lot of relations.h.i.+ps. All short-lived. She was looking for Mr Right. Which wasn't my father, because...' She sucked in a breath, her face a mask of misery.

'Because?' Max prompted gently.

'Because he was already married,' she whispered. 'Mum had no idea, or she'd never have gone anywhere near him. She only found out when she was pregnant-and then he told her why he couldn't possibly marry her. He already had a wife. My mum was just...a diversion.'

Max stared at her in disbelief. 'What a b.a.s.t.a.r.d.'

'She broke it off, that night. Didn't see him again. She told him about me when I was born-even though he'd treated her badly, she thought he had a right to know that he had a daughter. He wrote back and said he didn't want anything to do with us, and sent her a cheque. A large cheque-I suppose it was his way of dealing with things. Chuck money at a problem and it'll go away.' A muscle flickered in her jaw. 'My mother ripped the cheque in half and returned it to him. Without a note.'

'She's a strong woman,' Max said softly. 'Like you.'

And this told him exactly why Cyn had issues with relations.h.i.+ps. The first man in her life-the man she should have been able to trust to stand by her, come h.e.l.l or high water-had rejected her. No wonder she didn't believe that any man would offer her commitment.

He s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably. And, considering how bad he was on the commitment front himself, she definitely wouldn't believe he would offer her what she wanted. He wasn't too sure that he could, either. He'd failed with Gina. And he sure as h.e.l.l didn't want to hurt Cyn the same way. 'Has your dad tried to contact you since?' Max asked.

'No. I know who he is-Mum never kept it a secret from me. She said if I wanted to contact him, she'd help me. But he's never been interested in knowing anything about his daughter-and I really don't think I want to know him. Would you believe, he's on his fourth wife, and she's about three years younger than I am?' Cyn pulled a face. 'I think he trades them in for a younger model, every five to ten years.'

So Cyn thought that would happen to her? Or-worse-was she saying she thought he was like that? 'Not all men are like your father,' he said quietly.

'I know.' She stared at the crumpled duvet cover. Crumples they had made. 'But Mum's never met the right man for her. I've heard her crying herself to sleep too many times after she's been let down by the one she thought was Mr Right, and he turned out to be Mr Right Now.'

'You're not your mother.'

Cyn stared at him in seeming dislike. 'I couldn't have had a better mother.'

No, no, she'd got him wrong. 'I wasn't saying she's a bad mother or anything like that, Cyn. For your information, when I met her, I liked her. A lot. All I'm saying is that you're different people. Just because your mum never found the right one for her, it doesn't mean that you won't find the right one for you.'

'I don't want to make the same mistakes she has and pin all my hopes on a relations.h.i.+p that isn't going to work.' Cyn shrugged. 'You and I-we're too different. As I said, I don't do flings. And I know you don't do commitment. So maybe we should just say goodbye now.'

Oh, h.e.l.l. She'd laid it right on the line. She wasn't prepared to see where this was going to take them. She'd already made up her mind that he was Mr Wrong-and she was going to walk away.

The problem was, Max didn't want her to walk away.

But he couldn't promise her for ever, either.

Because, although he thought she really could be The One, he'd made that mistake before. Hurt someone he'd really cared about. And he didn't want the same thing to happen with Cyn.

'Cyn. I don't...Look, I'm not good at this sort of thing. I told you about what happened with Gina. I admit that I've made a mess of serious relations.h.i.+ps, in the past-that's why I...' No. It definitely wouldn't be a good idea to tell her about the fact he rarely dated the same woman more than two or three times. Apart from being tactless, it would send her running out of his bed. And he wanted her to stay. He sighed. 'I just don't want you to walk out of my life.'

'So what do you want, Max?'

If she'd asked him that last night, his answer would have been simple. I want to be the best at what I do. I want to restore houses-restore them well enough to gain respect from everyone in my field, and win awards.

Now...He still wanted that. But did he want more?

He'd already tried that with Gina. Tried and failed. Gina was like Cyn: sweet, a little shy-in short, a nice girl. Max didn't date nice girls any more. He only went out with women who played as hard as he did. Women who knew the rules.

If he took things further with Cyn, he'd have to remake the rules. And he wasn't quite sure what that would do to the balance of his world.

'See? You can't answer me,' she said quietly.

He gave her the answer he'd prepared earlier. 'I want to be the best at what I do.'

'But what about on a personal level?'

'What do you want?' he fenced.

She was silent for a long, long moment. And then she exhaled sharply. 'I don't know, either.'

'Maybe we should sleep on it.'

'Meaning you want to have s.e.x.'

'No.'

Why was she looking insulted when he'd just said he hadn't meant s.e.x? Then the penny dropped. 'I mean, yes. Of course I want to have s.e.x with you. Didn't last night show you just how attractive I find you? But I didn't mean that was all I wanted.' He shook his head in frustration. 'Don't twist my words, Cyn.'

'I have to go to work.'