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"I said I would come and I've come. Haven't I? I said I'd come and I've come, haven't I?" Her chest, even her abdomen, rose and fell violently.
"You're dead-drunk."
"Haven't I? I said I'd come and I've come, haven't I?"
"You have indeed."
"Couldn't see a thing on the way. Not a thing. My head aches."
"How did you manage to get up the hill?"
"I have no idea. Not the slightest." She lay heavily across his chest. He found it a little oppressive, especially when she turned over and arched her back; but, too suddenly awakened, he fell back as he tried to get up. It was an astonis.h.i.+ngly hot object that his head came to rest on.
"You're on fire."
"Oh? Fire for a pillow. See that you don't burn yourself."
"I might very well." He closed his eyes and the warmth sank into his head, bringing an immediate sense of life. Reality came through the violent breathing, and with it a sort of nostalgic remorse. He felt as though he were waiting tranquilly for some undefined revenge.
"I said I'd come, and I've come." She spoke with the utmost concentration. "I've come, and now I'm going home. I'm going to wash my hair."
She got to her knees and took a drink of water in great swallows.
"I can't let you go home like this."
"I'm going home. I have some people waiting. Where did I leave my towel?"
s.h.i.+mamura got up and turned on the light. "Don't!" She hid her face in her hands, then buried it, hands and all, in the quilt.
She had on a bold informal kimono with a narrow undress obi, and under it a nightgown. Her under-kimono had slipped down out of sight. She was flushed from drink even to the soles of her bare feet, and there was something very engaging about the way she tried to tuck them out of sight.
Evidently she had thrown down her towel and bath utensils when she came in. Soap and combs were scattered over the floor.
"Cut. I brought scissors."
"What do you want me to cut?"
"This." She pointed at the strings that held her j.a.panese coiffure in place. "I tried to do it myself, but my hands wouldn't work. I thought maybe I could ask you."
s.h.i.+mamura separated the hair and cut at the strings, and as he cut she shook the long hair loose. She was somewhat calmer.
"What time is it?"
"Three o'clock."
"Not really! You'll be careful not to cut the hair, won't you?"
"I've never seen so many strings."
The false hair that filled out the coiffure was hot where it touched her head.
"Is it really three o'clock? I must have fallen asleep when I got home. I promised to come for a bath with some people, and they stopped by to call me. They'll be wondering what's happened."
"They're waiting for you?"
"In the public bath. Three of them. There were six parties, but I only got to four. Next week we'll be very busy with people coming to see the maple leaves. Thanks very much." She raised her head to comb her hair, now long and flowing, and she laughed uncertainly. "Funny, isn't it." Unsure what to do with herself, she reached to pick up the false hair. "I have to go. It's not right to keep them waiting. I'll not come again tonight."
"Can you see your way home?"
"Yes."
But she tripped over the skirt of her kimono on the way out.
At seven and again at three in the morning-twice in one short day she had chosen unconventional hours to come calling. There was something far from ordinary in all this, s.h.i.+mamura told himself.
Guests would soon be coming for the autumn leaves. The door of the inn was being decorated with maple branches to welcome them.
The porter who was somewhat arrogantly directing operations was fond of calling himself a "migrant bird." He and his kind worked the mountain resorts from spring through to the autumn leaves, and moved down to the coast for the winter. He did not much care whether or not he came to the same inn each year. Proud of his experience in the prosperous coast resorts, he had no praise for the way the inn treated its guests. He reminded one of a not-too-sincere beggar as he rubbed his hands together and hovered about prospective guests at the station.
"Have you ever tasted one of these?" he asked s.h.i.+mamura, picking up a pomegranatelike akebi. "I can bring some in from the mountains if you like." s.h.i.+mamura, back from a walk, watched him tie the akebi, stem and all, to a maple branch.
The freshly cut branches were so long that they brushed against the eaves. The hallway glowed a bright, fresh scarlet. The leaves were extraordinarily large.
As s.h.i.+mamura took the cool akebi in his hand, he noticed that Yoko was sitting by the hearth in the office.
The innkeeper's wife was heating sake in a bra.s.s boiler. Yoko, seated opposite her, nodded quickly in answer to each remark. She was dressed informally, though she did not have on the everyday "mountain trousers." Her plain woolen kimono was freshly washed.
"That girl is working here?" s.h.i.+mamura asked the porter nonchalantly.
"Yes, sir. Thanks to all of you, we've had to take on extra help."
"You, for instance."
"That's right. She's an unusual type, though, for a girl from these parts."
Yoko worked only in the kitchen, apparently. She was not yet serving at parties. As the inn filled, the voices of the maids in the kitchen became louder, but he did not remember having heard Yoko's clear voice among them. The maid who took care of his room said that Yoko liked to sing in the bath before she went to bed, but that, too, s.h.i.+mamura had missed.
Now that he knew Yoko was in the house, he felt strangely reluctant to call Komako. He was conscious of an emptiness that made him see Komako's life as beautiful but wasted, even though he himself was the object of her love; and yet the woman's existence, her straining to live, came touching him like naked skin. He pitied her, and he pitied himself.
He was sure that Yoko's eyes, for all their innocence, could send a probing light to the heart of these matters, and he somehow felt drawn to her too.
Komako came often enough without being called.
When he went to see the maple leaves up the valley, he pa.s.sed her house. Hearing the automobile and thinking it must be he, she ran out to look-and he did not even glance back, she complained. That was most unfeeling of him. She of course stopped by whenever she came to the inn, and she stopped by too on her way to the bath. When she was to go to a party, she came an hour or so early and waited in his room for the maid to call her. Often she would slip away from a party for a few minutes. After retouching her face in the mirror, she would stand up to leave. "Back to work. I'm all business. Business, business."
She was in the habit of forgetting something she had brought with her, a cloak, perhaps, or the cover to a samisen plectrum.
"Last night when I got home there was no hot water for tea. I hunted through the kitchen and found the left-overs from breakfast. Co-o-old.... They didn't call me this morning. When I woke up it was already ten-thirty. I meant to come see you at seven, but it was no good."
Such were the things she talked of. Or she told him of the inn she had gone to first, and the next and the next, and the parties she had been to at each.
"I'll come again later." She had a gla.s.s of water before she left. "Or maybe I won't. Thirty guests and only three of us. I'll be much too busy."
But almost immediately she was back.
"It's hard work. Thirty of them and only three of us. And the other two are the very oldest and the very youngest in town, and that leaves all the hard work for me. Stingy people. A travel club of some sort, I suppose. With thirty guests you need at least six geisha. I'll go have a drink and pick a fight with them."
So it was every day. Komako must have wanted to crawl away and hide at the thought of where it was leading. But that indefinable air of loneliness only made her the more seductive.
"The floor always creaks when I come down the hall. I walk very softly, but they hear me just the same. 'Off to the Camellia Room again, Komako?' they say as I go by the kitchen. I never thought I'd have to worry so about my reputation."
"The town's really too small."
"Everyone has heard about us, of course."
"That will never do."
"You begin to have a bad name, and you're ruined in a little place like this." But she looked up and smiled. "It makes no difference. My kind can find work anywhere."
That straightforward manner, so replete with direct, immediate feeling, was quite foreign to s.h.i.+mamura, the idler who had inherited his money.
"It will be the same, wherever I go. There's nothing to be upset about."
But he caught an echo of the woman underneath the surface nonchalance.
"And I can't complain. After all, only women are able really to love." She flushed a little and looked at the floor.
Her kimono stood out from her neck, and her back and shoulders were like a white fan spread under it. There was something sad about the full flesh under that white powder. It suggested a woolen cloth, and again it suggested the pelt of some animal.
"In the world as it is," he murmured, chilled at the sterility of the words even as he spoke.
But Komako only replied: "As it always has been." She raised her head and added absent-mindedly: "You didn't know that?"
The red under-kimono clinging to her skin disappeared as she looked up.
s.h.i.+mamura was translating Valery and Alain, and French treatises on the dance from the golden age of the Russian ballet. He meant to bring them out in a small luxury edition at his own expense. The book would in all likelihood contribute nothing to the j.a.panese dancing world. One could nonetheless say, if pressed, that it would bring aid and comfort to s.h.i.+mamura. He pampered himself with the somewhat whimsical pleasure of sneering at himself through his work, and it may well have been from such a pleasure that his sad little dream world sprang. Off on a trip, he saw no need to hurry himself.
He spent much of his time watching insects in their death agonies.
Each day, as the autumn grew colder, insects died on the floor of his room. Stiff-winged insects fell on their backs and were unable to get to their feet again. A bee walked a little and collapsed, walked a little and collapsed. It was a quiet death that came with the change of seasons. Looking closely, however, s.h.i.+mamura could see that the legs and feelers were trembling in the struggle to live. For such a tiny death, the empty eight-mat room* seemed enormous.
As he picked up a dead insect to throw it out, he sometimes thought for an instant of the children he had left in Tokyo.
A moth on the screen was still for a very long time. It too was dead, and it fell to the earth like a dead leaf. Occasionally a moth fell from the wall. Taking it up in his hand, s.h.i.+mamura would wonder how to account for such beauty.
The screens were removed, and the singing of the insects was more subdued and lonely day by day.
The russet deepened on the Border Range. In the evening sun the mountains lighted up sharply, like a rather chilly stone. The inn was filled with maple-viewing guests.
"I don't think I'll come again tonight. Some people from the village are having a party." Komako left, and presently he heard a drum in the large banquet-room, and strident women's voices. At the very height of the festivities he was startled by a clear voice almost at his elbow.
"May I come in?" It was Yoko. "Komako asked me to bring this."
She thrust her hand out like a postman. Then, remembering her manners, she knelt down awkwardly before him. s.h.i.+mamura opened the knotted bit of paper, and Yoko was gone. He had not had time to speak to her.
"Having a fine, noisy time. And drinking." That was the whole of the message, written in a drunken hand on a paper napkin.
Not ten minutes later Komako staggered in.
"Did she bring something to you?"
"She did."
"Oh?" Komako c.o.c.ked an eye at him in wonderfully high spirits. "I do feel good. I said I'd go order more sake, and I ran away. The porter caught me. But sake is wonderful. I don't care a bit if the floor creaks. I don't care if they scold me. As soon as I come here I start feeling drunk, though. d.a.m.n. Well, back to work."
"You're rosy down to the tips of your fingers."
"Business is waiting. Business, business. Did she say anything? Terribly jealous. Do you know how jealous?"
"Who?"
"Someone will be murdered one of these days."
"She's working here?"
"She brings sake, and then stands there staring in at us, with her eyes flas.h.i.+ng. I suppose you like her sort of eyes."
"She probably thinks you're a disgrace."
"That's why I gave her a note to bring to you.
I want water. Give me water. Who's a disgrace? Try seducing her too before you answer my question. Am I drunk?" She peered into the mirror, bracing both hands against the stand. A moment later, kicking aside the long skirts, she swept from the room.
The party was over. The inn was soon quiet, and s.h.i.+mamura could hear a distant clatter of dishes. Komako must have been taken off by a guest to a second party, he concluded; but just then Yoko came in with another bit of paper.
"Decided not to go to Sampukan go from here to the Plum Room may stop by on way home good night."
s.h.i.+mamura smiled wryly, a little uncomfortable before Yoko. "Thank you very much. You've come to help here?"
She darted a glance at him with those beautiful eyes, so bright that he felt impaled on them. His discomfort was growing.
The girl left a deep impression each time he saw her, and now she was sitting before him-a strange uneasiness swept over him. Her too-serious manner made her seem always at the very center of some remarkable occurrence.
"They're keeping you busy, I suppose."
"But there's very little I can do."
"It's strange how often I see you. The first time was when you were bringing that man home. You talked to the station master about your brother. Do you remember?"