Rebel Hearts: Outside The Lines Part 19

Ben stacks our lifejackets together and sits on them, then pulls me into his lap. With a little paddling, we are able to keep our bodies locked and stay above the surface.

"It's nice here," Ben says, moving his head down to kiss me. "Did you come out here a lot when you lived here?"

"We did. I feel like this is our little spot of the lake. I get p.i.s.sed when I see other people here, like those guys over there." I narrow my eyes at the other boats, who no doubt feel the same about us. "The seaweed is pretty bad so a lot of boaters don't bother. That's why the boat's way out there and we have to swim here. And the sh.o.r.e isn't good for laying out or playing or anything. The water is calm and it's quiet. I like it."

"I do too. I imagine the lake isn't always this crowded either."

"Not at all. Weekends are pretty full, but not as bad as a holiday. I like coming out during the week at the beginning and end of summer, when the kids are still in school."

"More privacy," Ben says and kisses my neck.

"What about you?" I ask. "What did you spend your summers doing?"

"Typical, boring stuff," he laughs. "I played sports and hung out with friends. I did camps when I was younger. And by younger, I mean I went until I was fifteen."

"They still let fifteen year olds in camps?" I tease.

"They let you go even longer. We lived in the same place for all of my high school years, so I had friends to hang out with then. Summers were boring, but winters were more fun. I like to s...o...b..ard."

"I didn't know that."

"I'd say I'm better than average at it, but I'm no pro. It's fun. I still go every winter with friends. And ride snowmobiles."

"I much prefer warm weather activities."

He chuckles. "I like warm weather too. I told you, when it's bad I won't even go into work. But it's different when you're doing something fun like s...o...b..arding and skiing, or riding a snowmobile. You get all geared up and stay warm."

I wrinkle my nose. "I don't like feeling all bundled."

His eyes drop to my t.i.ts. "I don't think I'll like you being all bundled."

I s.h.i.+ver, despite the sun beating down on us. He reaches down into the water and rubs my core, wiggling his eyebrows and making me giggle. I think he's joking until I feel his c.o.c.k start to harden underneath me. I raise my eyebrows in question.

"You're turning me on," he says and pulls me closer. I crane my neck to keep it above the water. "That's a problem."

"It is," I say and look behind me, seeing Zoey and Mindy finally join Danielle and Jake in the water. They make their way over, to the cove. "But I think I have a solution."

"You're sunburned already," Ben says as we head back to the dock for lunch.

I look down at my shoulders and grimace. "I was going to put sunscreen on and forgot."

"It's not too late," he says.

"I'll get it when we get back."

Mindy laughs, holding her hat with one hand to keep from blowing off. "You are really pale. No wonder you burned easily. I tan. I never burn."

"Anyone with skin can burn if they're out long enough," I say dryly.

"You don't even have a base tan." She rolls her eyes and I feel like the lame-o in high school I once was, not allowed to go to the tanning bed due to my mother's fear of me getting skin cancer. I'm thankful now, but that was just another thing added to the list of why I never sat at the cool table.

"I don't care," I tell her bluntly.

"I can tell," she scoffs.

Ben watches the exchange but doesn't say anything. Maybe he feels awkward since Mindy is an employee? Whatever. I'm not going to let Mindy f.u.c.king Abraham get under my skin. Not today. Not ever again.

The boat slows when the dock comes into view. We have our own slip and it's never an issue getting in, but the loading ramp near the dock causes the water to get a bit congested. Jake idles the boat and we wait for some of the other watercrafts to clear out of the way.

"Ew," Mindy says, elbowing her sister. I follow her gaze, expecting to see a dead fish floating in the water. Instead, she's clearing pointing to a girl who can't be any older than eighteen. I don't understand what's wrong. The girl is on the sh.o.r.e, chasing a toddler who may or may not be her own child. She's wearing a tankini, and part of her stomach is showing. She turns around to scoop up the kid, who just face planted in the sand.

Mindy and Zoey laugh. My blood boils.

"She should not be wearing that in public," Mindy says and shakes her head like she just witnessed a legit crime. "Why they make swim suits in that size is beyond me."

A line lay before me and I knew I needed to pick one side to stand on. I can turn my head, think of something else, and let it go, or I could push Mindy f.u.c.king Abraham off the boat, rub my hands together, and laugh like I'd just taken over the Death Star and can carry out my mission to destroy an inhabited planet. Metaphorically, at least.

I cast my eyes down and realize that I'm not just standing up to Mindy, I'm standing up to every ent.i.tled, b.i.t.c.hy, thunder c.u.n.t in the world who thinks self-worth is defined by your waist size. The words bubble inside of me and I know I have to say something. Mindy points and laughs again, making fun of the girl's stomach. I look down at myself. I'm not overweight, but I'm not fit with flat abs. My words die in my throat.

I turn my head and look at Ben, who has his feet up, shades on, looking s.e.xy as h.e.l.l. I can still feel him between my legs as he thrust that big beautiful c.o.c.k in and out of me, f.u.c.king in the boat as fast as we could before we got caught. I set down my wine cooler.

I have a motherf.u.c.king s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p to take over.

"Seriously?" I say and push my shoulders back. Mindy, Zoey, and Danielle turn to me. "Just because you're insecure about how you look doesn't mean you have to make fun of someone else. Tearing her down doesn't build you up. Pointing out her cellulite doesn't make yours disappear. It's because of women like you that body shaming is an issue. Why belittle and bully other women when you can empower them? Grow the f.u.c.k up and focus your energy on something that actually matters."

Ben, who I think had been oblivious to Mindy's comments, sits up and looks at me like he wants to lay me down and f.u.c.k me again. Jake turns around from the wheel, eyes wide as he tries not to smile. Danielle will not look at any of us and Mindy just stares blankly in my direction.

"Well ... if she didn't want people to talk about her then she shouldn't have worn that in public," she finally responds.

"Oh my G.o.d," I say slowly. "I just can't with you." I blink and turn away, fearing that her stupidity might be contagious. I snap my mouth shut, knowing I won't be able to stop once I get started. I could argue until I was blue in the face and it wouldn't change Mindy's mind. She's right and the rest of the world is wrong. I'm not wasting my time.

We dock the boat and climb out. Ben and I are the last out. He takes my hand, helping me onto the pier.

"That was pretty f.u.c.king awesome," he says. "And I agree with you. It's all petty bulls.h.i.+t that's annoying to listen to."

I nod and reach into my bag, seeing if Erin has texted me she's on her way yet. She hasn't.

"Are we eating now?" Ben asks, linking his fingers with mine as we walk toward the beach. The little section that stretches along my parents' cabins is a private beach, and shouldn't be this packed with people. But my parents don't really care, as long as people aren't getting crazy. It's a holiday, after all. The whole point of holidays is to celebrate something and not be a d.i.c.k, right?

"We can eat all day if we want to hang around here," I say. "I'm sure my mom has everything out now. The party officially starts at three, but most my relatives show up before then. My dad will start grilling soon too."

"I like this," Ben says and we step off the wooden dock into hot sand. "It's very American." He chuckles. "This is how you should spend the Fourth."

"It's how I always did. What did you guys do?"

"Picnic and fireworks, but not to this extent."

"Halloween gets my vote for best holiday because of the costumes, but this is a close second just because of the food and the water."

"I agree. Halloween isn't as fun as when I was a kid, but I do like watching the Halloween movies on TV," he admits with a smile. "And Christmas is ... too much."

Oh my f.u.c.king G.o.d he's my soulmate. I push my heart back into my chest. "Yes! It's just too long and too commercial, though I do like presents."

"Who doesn't?"

We hurry through the sand, our bare feet not able to take it much longer, and climb up the steps to my parents' deck. It's just as hot. Feet: 0. Sun: 1. Shoes are going back on. I slip my dress over my head and lead Ben inside to fill our plates. We take a reprieve from the heat and sit in the living room, enjoying the wonderful modern amenities of ceiling fans and air-conditioning.

I come back with my second hot dog and sit close to Ben. The back door slides open and Jake, Danielle, and her lovely friends come inside to escape the heat for a bit as well. Mindy only eats fruit. I grit my teeth. It's not worth it ... it's not worth it.

"I hope you like our little family tradition," I say to Danielle.

"I do," she says and I know she means it. She links her arm through Jake's. "This is so cute and I just love the beach. Plus it's nice having access right outside the house."

"I always felt bad for the people who had to park and walk, carrying coolers and kids, and all the other c.r.a.p you bring with you."

"I hadn't even thought of that! But you are right."

"We liked it growing up," I say. "Had a few parties, lots of good memories."

"You had parties?" Mindy says to me, raising her eyebrows. "I never heard about them."

I slowly inhale. "Yeah, I did. It was a lot of fun."

Jake quickly changes the subject to sports, talking to Ben about how he's looking forward to football starting up again already. They talk about teams and someone getting banned-things I know nothing about-and I relax against Ben now that my skin isn't hot to the touch anymore. He puts his arm around me without even thinking, hand resting on the curve of my hip. My phone buzzes; Erin just let me know she's on her way. Dave was slow, as usual.

I warn her about Mindy f.u.c.king Abraham. Erin was shy and quiet. She still is, really. She was able to fade into the background during school and was never the subject of direct bullying.

Unlike me.

She stuck up for me when she could, even though social confrontation was right up there with facing an entire army of Daleks without the Doctor by your side. She really is a good friend, and I can't wait for her to meet Ben. I set the phone down and rest my head against Ben's muscular shoulder. I'm not that tired, but a full belly plus a morning spent in the sun makes me want a nap.

"So, Felicity," Mindy starts. I open my eyes and find her perched on the edge of the couch next to her sister. She's so f.u.c.king pretty it kills me. Then the maliciousness comes out and I can see her true face. "Do you still do that nerdy costume stuff?"

"You mean Cosplay?" I ask and sit up. "Yes, I still do that nerdy costume stuff and really enjoy it. Ben's a fan of my nerdy costumes, aren't you, Ben?"

Mindy's face scrunches up like someone just ripped a stinky fart. "Ben likes wearing costumes?"

"He doesn't wear them," I clarify. "I said he's a fan of my costumes." Well, just one costume, but I'm sure he'll like others.

"Ben, really?"

He smiles. "I feel like I shouldn't say anything because your brother is in the room and he won't want to know."

"Huh?" Jake says. Then it clicks. "Oh, ew. Yeah, no details please. I don't even want to-nope. Just stop."

Everyone else laughs. Everyone but Mindy. I know the woman hated me in high school for some unknown reason, but why be a bitter b.i.t.c.h now?

"Don't you feel a little old to be dressing up in costumes?" Mindy asks.

I've been asked that before, many times, actually. "No. There's not an age limit at Comic-Con, and Cosplaying in my spare time doesn't hinder my adulting. Well, not that much. I still go to work and pay my bills and all that. I don't see how it's any different than any other hobby. Some people jog and knit and do other ... uh, things. I like to sew costumes."

Mindy raises her eyebrows. "Yeah, sure. I think it's weird."

"Just because it's weird to you, doesn't make it weird," Ben cuts in. "Felicity is right, again. I say to each his-or her-own. As long as your hobby doesn't involve chickens, Vaseline, and a dark shed, what does it matter?"

"All I'm saying is there's a reason hardly anyone is into that stuff." Mindy purses her lips and leans back. Danielle is beginning to look mortified, which makes me like her a little more, even if she's friends with Mindy and her sister.

"Do you know how many people attend Comic Cons?" I ask. "A lot. And I like that it's not mainstream."

"Life is too short to worry about the opinions of others," Ben says pointedly. "Not a lot of people are brave enough to do what they love without fear of judgment." His eyes meet mine. "It's just one of the things I like about you."

I'm smiling, and the background fades until it's just Ben and me left in the room. My heart flutters and Ben's fingers press into my skin.

"Want to go outside?" Ben asks. "I want to look at the water. It's inspiring."

He takes my plate, sets it in the kitchen, and we go out the front door.

"You should fire Mindy," I say and look down the driveway for Erin's car.

"I've thought about it," Ben confesses. "But she's actually good at selling stuff, and I hate interviewing people."

"Meh, I guess." I take Ben's hand and make a mental promise to myself. No matter what, Mindy is not ruining the rest of the day. I'm not going to talk about her or bring her up. I'll save her from drowning if need be, though I'll wait until she goes under and ruins her hair and makeup before diving in. Other than that, I'm ignoring her.

Today is all about fun and friends, and she's neither of those.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

"He is seriously perfect," Erin whispers. "I can tell he really likes you."

"I hope so," I say back. "Because I really like him. It's been so intense since day one. I can't even with the pa.s.sion. Like it's just so much." I shake my head and smile. "I just hope that he doesn't feel this way about anyone else."

"I don't think he's seeing anyone else," Erin says and leans on the sink. "Not with what you've told me, and not with the way he looks at you."

I wobble when I stand, turning to flush the toilet. We ran inside before the fireworks started to use the bathroom and gossip. "But we never had a relations.h.i.+p talk. He said he dates other women."

"When did he say that?"

"Uh, before we hooked up the first time."

"Things can change," Erin slurs. I've lost count of how many alcoholic beverages I've had. I still got my wits about me-okay half my wits-but I would say I'm drunk. Erin is probably just as drunk and she's had two wine coolers. Such a lightweight.