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John smiled. Jule did love her mountains.
"That's great!" he responded, trying to make his emotions match his words.
"Isn't it? I've been praying and prayinga"and here is our answer. Oh, John. Thisa"this venture has been so difficult at timesa"but it has been a time ofa"of growing too. I have been shown over and over how G.o.d answers prayer. He never lets us down, John. Just when I think we can't make it any more, He answers my prayer again. Anda"He's never late. Though at times I think He's going to be."
Julia's eyes glistened. John turned away to gaze at the distant peaks. His eyes were threatening to spill over as well, but for a different reason. Oh, G.o.d, he prayed silently, I wish I had Jule's faith. His arm tightened around his wife's shoulders.
"Well, I must run," Julia said suddenly, standing swiftly to her feet. "I just wanted you to know about the letter. I left Hettie busy in the kitchen so I'd better get back and lend her a hand."
"Don't travel back as fast as you traveled out," John cautioned.
"Promise," she whispered. She gave John's hand a squeeze and started up the path that led home.
Chapter Eighteen.
Sunday A dozen or more were now meeting for weekly wors.h.i.+p. John and Julia had talked about moving the group to the church but feared some might drop out if they did. It was less formala"less threatening perhapsa"to have the Bible study in the comfort of the Harrigan parlor with coffee and scones served afterward.
Julia had a hard time keeping her thoughts on the lesson John had prepared. They kept s.h.i.+fting to the house guests who would be arriving on the morrow. She needed to tell the neighbors her news, but she wasn't sure how or where to begin. She must not let them see her excitement. They too needed additional funds to get through another winter. Julia did not want to gloat over her good fortune when their needs were still unmet.
Yet she must speak of it. No stranger got off the train without the whole community knowing of it. It would not do for the Blakeneys to arrive without the townspeople knowing ahead of time. Besides, Tom would need to borrow the Clancy's buggy.
Julia s.h.i.+fted in her seat and forced her attention back on the lesson.
Forgive me, Lord, she apologized. But I am so troubled about this, even though I know I shouldn't be. Though I might not know how to say what I need to say, I know you will help me when the time comes.
"What do you think Jesus meant by these words?" John was asking the group. Julia flushed, having no idea what words her husband was referring to.
I do hope he doesn't call on me! she thought.
Julia was relieved when Mrs. Adams spoke.
"I've been sittin' here, puzzling over them," she admitted. "But perhaps He means, what we try to keepa"try to hang on toa"can still slip from us. What we honestly, openly, give to Him, He somehow keeps for usa"and might even one day allow us to have back."
"Isn't He talking about our lives too?" added Mr. Adams. "If we refuse to give our life to Him, try to hang on to it for our own pleasures and self-seeking, we will eventually lose it. We will have no future with Him in heaven. If we give our life to Him, He cares for us in the way that only He can, and will also reward us with eternal life."
"I think you are both right," said Mrs. Shannon. "He's talking about our livesa"but the same principle applies to other things too. We can never hold tight to anything. We haven't the strengtha"nor the power to keep it. Nothinga"nothing in this life is safe from destruction and decay. Take our town herea"our jobs. Even our lives. We can't save anything by our determinationa"no matter how we try."
A feeling of doom was seeping into the room. Julia could feel it. Could sense the feara"the anxiety. She was about to speak when Tom, in his slow, drawling voice came to the rescue.
"But does it matter? I meana"I love this town. I've lived most of my life here. But life goes on. Change isn't always bad. Sometimes change is for our good. Sure, it might sadden us for a time, but if He is in chargea"if we really let Him take chargea"does it really matter? He is with us wherever we go."
Julia s.h.i.+fted again. Tom was right. They musn't fret so. They must develop more faith in the leading of G.o.d.
"But how do we know?" asked Mrs. Adams. "How do we know when to trusta"to hang ona"and when to let goa"to move on? I mean, I have prayed and prayed and still don't know what G.o.d wants us to do."
Julia looked around the group. She could sense that John didn't want to be the one to answer, and she certainly didn't feel prepared. She was still struggling with the question herself.
It was Hettie who spoke. "Don't you think," she said slowly, feeling her way, "that as long as one doesn't feela"well, compelled to move on, that it isn't time yet? I mean, don't you think we'll know when it's timea"if He decides that we should?" Hettie stopped and fiddled with the worn Bible in her lap. "I'm no speakera"you all know that. I never can say what I want to say, but it seems to mea"if we are truly committed to Hima"He'll tell us when to stay put a and when to move on."
"But what if you sorta feel that it's time to be movin'?" asked Mrs. Adams.
Julia felt that she must speak. She cleared her throat and looked directly at the woman across from her. "Thena"you must," she said softly. "If you feel that G.o.d is urging youa"no matter how gentlya"then you must follow."
"My Victor has been offered a job," Mrs. Adams said in little more than a whisper. Victor stirred restlessly in his chair beside her.
"We didn't want toa"to desert thea"the rest of you."
"You won't be," John a.s.sured the couple. "We would never want to hold you back. If you believe this is G.o.d's answera"for youa"if He is providing for your family in this waya"then you must goa"with our blessing."
Mr. and Mrs. Adams exchanged glances, both looking relieved.
"And that goes for all of you," said Julia. "We have banded together to try to help one anothera"but if any of you feel you must move from Calder Springsa"then pleasea"please don't stay here for the sake of the rest of us. We must all be free to do our own choosing." There were somber nods and somber faces all around her. Silence ruled for several minutes.
After a while Mrs. Greenwald spoke. "Mr. and Mrs. Adams have been church people for years," she reminded the group. "They know when G.o.d speaks. But what about the rest of us? Like me anda"well, I won't mention any other names, but how do we know when G.o.d speaks, when we have never asked for, never looked for, His leading?"
The stillness hung heavy in the room. "I wouldn't have knowna"a few years ago," said Victor Adams. "A person needs to walk with G.o.d, to pray and read the Word, before he can know when G.o.d speaks and where He is leading. You might need to take that important first step toward G.o.da"accept Him as Saviora"before you can hear Him speak to you, Mrs. Greenwald."
Mrs. Greenwald nodded in a.s.sent.
John was quick to seize the opportunity. "Would you like to come into the east parlor?" he asked. "We will show you how you can take that first stepa"to become a child of G.o.d."
She nodded again, her eyes misting.
"Victor and Ruth, will you join me?" John invited. "Julia, do you want to come?"
Julia decided to look after her other guests. After all, what if someone else expressed an interest in taking the same step of faith? "I had better stay here," she whispered to John.
Hettie and Tom went to get the coffee and scones. Julia addressed the remaining congregation. "We will all miss Victor and Ruth when they leave us," she began. "I don't know when they are planning to goa"but maybe we can have a potluck dinner for them before they do. I am going to be quite busy this week. I just received a letter, and I have guests coming ina"for a few days at least. The length of their stay is still indefinite. But I am sure I could find time to bid our dear friends goodbye.
"And I did mean every word of what I said a few minutes ago," she continued. "We want the best for each family here. If that means a move elsewherea"then wea"you must be free to go. School should be starting, and we have no school for our children again. I don't know how much we can teach them. So all of youa"do what you can, what you must. Those of us who remain behind, we understand."
Hettie set down the cups and saucers, and Tom placed the large coffee pot on the table beside them. Julia nodded to Felicity and Jennifer to start serving. Soon the room was a hum of chatter. Julia slipped out to the parlor to join John and the others.
She was met by a glowing Mrs. Greenwald, who dabbed at tears with a white lace-edged handkerchief.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time," she admitted, "but I didn't know how to go about it. And I was scared to death to go to the parson. I was afraid he would want an account of every sin I ever committed and there area"werea"so many of them."
Julia knew that their former pastor would have demanded no such thing, but folks often had funny ideas about preachers.
"I had no idea that I could go directly to G.o.da"in Jesus' namea"and ask forgiveness," the woman went on.
"That's how we each must do it," said Julia, giving her a warm embrace.
"Well, it's a big relief, I'll tell you that." Mrs. Greenwald turned to give Mrs. Adams a hug as well.
They rejoined the group in the main parlor. Julia noticed people watching Mrs. Greenwald. Folks were curious as to what had happened and if it had really "worked." If Mrs. Greenwald was conscious of the attention, she did not let on. She hugged each of her children, then turned to greet her neighbors with a s.h.i.+ning face.
"I don't know why I didn't do this years ago," she told them, and they could see the new strength in her face.
"Oh, what a wonderful day," Julia said to the family at dinner. "Imagine! Mrs. Greenwald is the first convert of our wors.h.i.+p services. I don't think she ever would have gone to church. Here I was praying to keep the church open, and there she was with a hungry heart but too stubborna"or afraida"to go to the services. G.o.d knew what He was doing all the time in closing the doors of the church."
"But, Mama," spoke Felicity, "what if there are others who would go to church, but won't come here?"
"Ia"really don't know," Julia admitted. "Maybe I said it all wrong.
Maybe G.o.d didn't speak to Mrs. Greenwald because the church closed its doors. Maybe He had to use our group because the church had closed. Maybe that was the only way He could get oura"mya"attention. Suddenly I realized that I had an obligation. Before, I had left it all to the church. To the minister. I shouldn't have. If I had been as concerned when the church was still here as I am nowa"well, the church might still be open."
It was a sobering thought for Julia. She knew she had failed in her Christian commitment. She had waited too long to express concern for her neighbors.
"Well, we still have a big job to do. There are those in town who might move any daya"so our time may be short. We need to share our faith with thema"as G.o.d gives us opportunity."
"Jen talked to Millicent," Felicity announced.
Julia's head came up. "I didn't know that."
"She had a whole bunch of questions," said Jennifer. "I tried to explain to hera"what it means to serve G.o.d."
"She's scared," continued Felicity. "Says she doesn't want to go to h.e.l.l when she dies."
"Did youa"do you need some help with your answers?" John asked Jennifer.
"Ia"I'm not sure she understood all I said. I told her that G.o.d doesn't want anyone to go to h.e.l.la"that's why He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross. Then I tried to explain how we confess the bad thingsa"the sina"and ask Him to forgive usa"then thank G.o.d for sending Jesus. Then we ask G.o.d to accept us as His children and help us live the way He wants us toa"by faith."
"It sounds as if you did a good job of explaining it," said John, pleased with Jennifer.
"She said she wanted to think about it some more," went on Jennifer.
"She should think about it carefully," John agreed. "It is not a decision to be made lightly."
John pushed back from the table. "I don't think we should wait until our family wors.h.i.+p time to remember these people in prayer. Let's stop and pray for them right now."
Each person at the table said a brief prayer for Mrs. Greenwald, that G.o.d would help her grow in her knowledge and understanding of Him, and for Millicent, that she might understand the meaning of the step she was considering, and that she might make the right choice.
Chapter Nineteen.
The Blakeneys On Monday morning Julia tried to get her mind back on preparations for her coming house guests, but her thoughts insisted on returning to the previous day. The eternal significance of Sunday's events made the coming of visitors much less important to Julia. She prayed that Mrs. Greenwald's decision would be strengthened as days pa.s.sed, and that Millicent too would come to understand the importance of the decision she was considering and be bold enough to make it. She also prayed that Jennifer would have the wisdom to answer Millicent's questions.
Julia made one last round of the house to check that all was in readiness. She placed fresh fall flowers in the bedrooms and on tables throughout the main floor and sent Tom off to the station to meet the train.
Julia's heart pounded as she awaited her new guests. To help ease her tension she went to the kitchen to see Hettie. Perhaps a chat, a cup of tea, or both, will calm my nerves, she thought.
"Is the kettle hot, Hettie?" she asked as she entered the room with a swish of her skirts.
"Sure is." Hettie moved to get the teapot and the cups. She could sense that Julia was agitated. It was not a usual thing.
"Are the girls around?" asked Julia.
"I sent them to the store for the things I'll need for the guests," answered Hettie.
Julia took a seat at the kitchen table.
"Did they open the windows to let fresh air into the bedrooms?" she asked, though why she asked she didn't know. She had seen the curtains stirring in the light breeze when she made her last check of the rooms.
Hettie nodded. She too knew that Julia had just checked the rooms.
"Why do I feel so nervous?" Julia asked. "It's not as if this is our first experience with guests."
"They're likely the last guests of the season," Hettie answered. "We need the money badly."
Hettie was right. It seemed reason enough for a case of the jitters.
Hettie set the tea cup in front of Julia and asked, "You want cake or cookies?"
"Yes, please," Julia surprised Hettie by saying. Julia never took sweets with her tea, saying it was not good to have too much sugar.
"Which?" asked Hettie, and Julia looked puzzled by the question.
"Cookies or cake?" repeated Hettie.
Julia shrugged her shoulders, and Hettie placed some sugar cookies on a plate.
"I will need to be at the door to greet them," Julia murmured.
"No hurry. We'll hear the whistle long before they arrive."
Julia took a cookie from the plate. "There seems to be so much to think about all the time that my head fairly swims," she admitted.
"Like?" prompted Hettie.
"The girls mostly, I guess," answered Julia. "Some days I wonder if this is fair to them. I said to John once that learning household ch.o.r.es would be good for thema"and it is. But shouldn't they have a chance to learn other things too?
"I think of my own youth," Julia continued. "It was so different. I took lessons in piano, tennis, riding, French. I went to a fine finis.h.i.+ng school. My girls won't know much more than how to scrub floors, make beds, bake cookies, and hoe gardens. Is that enough, Hettie?"